Have you ever lost someone you love?

[- Qatada -]

Asalam alykum

Have you ever lost someone you love? Was it willingly or unwillingly? How did you (and they) react to it? How did u get over it? And how long did that take?

Any extra details would be really good too plz, like how old u were etc.

Jazakum Allahu khayrun in advance. Look forward to your responses. :)

[Tony]

Brother I lost count of how many, since becoming muslim, not a single one alhamdulillah

[IslamicRevival]

Asalam alykum

Have you ever lost someone you love? Was it willingly or unwillingly? How did you (and they) react to it? How did u get over it? And how long did that take?

Any extra details would be really good too plz, like how old u were etc.

Jazakum Allahu khayrun in advance. Look forward to your responses. :)

Salaam. Yes and its a painful thing to go through especially when you know 'thats the one'. It took a while to get over it and in the end i realized there was no point in crying over spilt milk. Oh well you live and you learn i suppose

[Najm]

Asalam alykum

Have you ever lost someone you love? Was it willingly or unwillingly? How did you (and they) react to it? How did u get over it? And how long did that take?

Any extra details would be really good too plz, like how old u were etc.

Jazakum Allahu khayrun in advance. Look forward to your responses. :)

WalaikumAsSalam WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

You know its really really strange. I have thinking about this the last couple of daysimsad. Because there is someone trully i love. I miss her so much, that if i did have the chance again i would do everything i can do to make her happy for me........

........Yet i treat Ramadhan the same way. As if its come for the last time and for me to make the most it.

FiAmaaniAllah

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[Tony]

^^^^brother I am sorry to hear this, may Allah heal the pain you feel, Ameen.
Hopefully things will work out for you insha'Allah

[IslamicRevival]

WalaikumAsSalam WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

You know its really really strange. I have thinking about this the last couple of daysimsad. Because there is someone trully i love. I miss her so much, that if i did have the chance again i would do everything i can do to make her happy for me........

Salaam. I think its almost impossible to let go of someone you truly love. Love comes from the heart and if thats the way you feel then its going to be with you for a long time. You will always be thinking about the individual as i do nearly everyday... It is a weird feeling but you got to move on in life

[Woodrow]

Through Death I have lost nearly everyone I ever loved. I am now the oldest surviving male In my Family Tree.

I do have 2 surviving Aunts that are only a few years older than me. But both of them are very close to death.

Now how did the loses affect me?

My Father was the first I lost I was 7 years old. For many years I stayed in denial and until I was about 16 I kept expecting to see him come walking in the door every evening. Even then I still cried for him for a long time.

Then when I was 14 I lost both Grandfathers in the same year. I felt like I lost my best friend when My Grand Father on my mother's side died. He was my substitute father and taught me many things from how to shoe horses, milk cows, catch fish, shoot a rifle and handguns, pick up venomous snakes, how to swim and he gave me a love of languages.

From then on the loses became blurs, it seemed like I lost at least one loved one every month. The last hardest loss I had was my mother. Now, it seems like loss is normal and it is simply a part of life.

Now how did I get over the loses. I didn't, I do not have to. I reached the age of seeing death as being no more then graduation or flunking out from this life. May Allaah(swt) allow me to become one of the graduates.

[Najm]

Through Death I have lost nearly everyone I ever loved. I am now the oldest surviving male In my Family Tree.

I do have 2 surviving Aunts that are only a few years older than me. But both of them are very close to death.

Now how did the loses affect me?

My Father was the first I lost I was 7 years old. For many years I stayed in denial and until I was about 16 I kept expecting to see him come walking in the door every evening. Even then I still cried for him for a long time.

Then when I was 14 I lost both Grandfathers in the same year. I felt like I lost my best friend when My Grand Father on my mother's side died. He was my substitute father and taught me many things from how to shoe horses, milk cows, catch fish, shoot a rifle and handguns, pick up venomous snakes, how to swim and he gave me a love of languages.

From then on the loses became blurs, it seemed like I lost at least one loved one every month. The last hardest loss I had was my mother. Now, it seems like loss is normal and it is simply a part of life.

Now how did I get over the loses. I didn't, I do not have to. I reached the age of seeing death as being no more then graduation or flunking out from this life. May Allaah(swt) allow me to become one of the graduates.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

SubhaanAllah!imsad......This dua and hadith is amazing........

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un
We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.

The Prophet (SalAllahu Alyhi WaSalam) said, "If any Muslim man or woman suffers a calamity and keeps it in his memory, even if it happened a long time ago, saying each time it is remembered, 'We belong to Allah and to Him do we return,' Allah, who is Blessed and Exalted will give a fresh reward each time it is said, equivalent to the reward when it happened." [Tirmidhi]

Its too hard to let go of the people you love:cry:

May Allah keep us alive while its best for us, and bring death when its best for us. Ameen

FiAmaaniAllah

[Rasema]

Wa alikum muselam

OOO long list.


But the one I miss the most is my Father.

Then comes my little sister and my aunt.



When they're dead it's easier than to watch the world torture them. At the beginning I haven't shade a tear but in three days you realise that they're gone.

I was six when my father died, the hard thing is that I hate everyone else because they hate my father, I can't stand them!. Egnore this they're farrrrrrrrrr for good. I always dreamed to revenge but Islam doesn't allow me?

Islam cures it because you worry about yourself on the Qiyama.

[penartist]

Salaam- firstly very sorry for everyones loss..in one way or another eveyone feels it at some point in your life whether its through death or via other means.

To expect to forget the person completely is asking for miricles but to force yourself to move on it also not doing yourself any favours. I found that praying excessively and telling myself it wasnt meant to be helped and after many months the pain dulls down.

Now everytime i think of the past i always see the good memories, small flashes of happines and in a way im glad to have experienced them but in others u wonder what ure life would have been like without ever experiencing any of that. Allah knows best.

[cat eyes]

my mum died when i was very young and my father felt he had no obligations 2us anymore.. The hardest thing was watching him with other women! Your skin gets thick after a while and you learn 2 accept it obviously its even still tough. You know when u wana make da bigest life decisionz of your life and your mum is not there 2 guide you. It sucks big time!!! But alhamdulilah i can't complain i have Allah almighty.

[cat eyes]

but falling in love and losing that person. Not being able 2 b with dat person for some reasons is da worst haha because you know they r still out there living :(

[IslamicRevival]

but falling in love and losing that person. Not being able 2 b with dat person for some reasons is da worst haha because you know they r still out there living :(

Sister, Exactly. Thats why i said earlier its almost impossible to forget the one you love.

[syilla]

:salamext:

There are a few people around me lost someone they love..like my friend who lost her father and her fiance to be in the same week. Sometimes i just don't know how to console them...

All i can say is Allah love them :(.

And also i have this one quote with beautiful background "Why people have to die? To make life important." ...and i email it to them... :)

Wassallam

[cat eyes]

Sister, Exactly. Thats why i said earlier its almost impossible to forget the one you love.

yes brother of course it actually feels warming and good talking about it to others who went through the same thing:cry:imsad

[Ibn-Shakoor]

:sl:
Don't we all lose someone we love? Everyone has to die some day or another. Be it by force* or natural. I have lost many great humans in my 13 years of life. Some may think 13 is young but for me it carries devastated full of misery memories of the past.

My loses that were true to me: My grandfather from my mothers side when I was 11. My grandfather from my fathers side when I was 12. My aunts from both sides,and my great uncle. Alhumdulilah,no one else,insha'Allah Allaah will bless our families and the ones we love the highest rank in Jannah,ameen.

*:When Earth comes to an end and a cold breeze wipes away the believers soul,but for the non-believers/non-Muslims,allah knows.

:w:

[nightingale]

:sl:

I recently lost one of my aunts, I love her very much. She had been sick for a year, but we all thought she was recovering. When my dad informed me the news of her death over the phone, I cried uncontrollably. Few relatives were around me to console, but in those few minutes I felt alone with my Lord. I found myself saying "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un" in my mind. Till then I had never learnt how to pray janaza, I had always skipped that section. Then I searched for a book on janaza prayers and learnt the dua and went to her house.

She died of an abdominal disease, I read that such a person will not have any punishment in the grave. She was once telling my mom that she had never done anything wrong in her life, very few people would be able to say that with confidence. May Allah forgive her and give her Jannatul firdaws. I console myself saying I would meet her again in the hereafter...insha Allah.

[Beardo]

I actually don't remember losing anyone close to me, yet. Alhamdulillah... Though, I think it's a part of life that happens to everyone. Bit sad thinking about it though.

[- IqRa -]

My grandad, when I was small. imsad

[S_87]

:sl:

the one person that really comes to mind is my dear old grandad. although he lived on the other side of the world, well kinda, i did live withhim for the first 5 years of my life, then they used to visit every couple of years :wub: and he was so funny and weird, i think thats where the family gets its weirdness from lo. i wasnt there for his funeral :( but had been there for the last few weeks of his life to see him alhumdulillah and it was like he wasnt 'gone' kinda thing. but last year went back there and he wasnt there in his room. and it was so different, the family wasnt the same. like he was the gel that kept it together or something lol. of course everything 'looked' the sameish, just he wasnt there.
i dont think about it really, except dua time or when i see/remember something...thats life you move on because you have to.

i pray that Allah gives my parents and family a long, happy, healthy life :wub:

[Laila01x]

Yes and who i thought was 'the one' :(

Love can be the greatest thing that can happen...but it also can be the worse.:cry:

[THE END]

lost my father when i was young,

to this day i still remember burying him, the sudden horror that overtook me as i stared down at a freshly dug up grave where he would be buried.

lost my sister 3 years later to cancer.

[ژاله]

i feel i have lost everyone in some sense, though everyone is still around and alive alhamdulillah.

[Mysterious Uk]

I was just thinking about them both a couple of days ago as i was praying..

Only last year i first lost my great uncle from my mum's side. He lived 5 hours away from me but we still saw and called him often and then he moved away to bangladesh. I met him in bangladesh two years ago and the last thing i remember him saying to me was i was his favourate child.. He was a kind man and his death was a real shock.. About a month later my great uncles brother (my grandfather) died in Bangladesh.

He was an amazing and kind person, there was absoloutly nobody who had enmity with him because he never was involved in anything bad. Alhamdullilah he had lived a long life with good health. He always went to mosque even when he was too frail to walk, last time i saw him he didn't recognise me but always talked about his late wife, whome he regarded as an angel. He was a pious and honest man.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

bro are you gonna reply lol



im dying here


curious as to why you asked !






im sure u know what my reply would be - and if you dont then consider me offended :p :p :p

[GuestFellow]

Yeah I lost someone when I was ten. Still haven't gotten over it. Sometimes denial.

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:

bro are you gonna reply lol

im dying here

curious as to why you asked !

im sure u know what my reply would be - and if you dont then consider me offended :p :p :p

lol akh, i just wna learn how people get over things in life init? :) how people get stronger as time passes by in life..

Yeah I lost someone when I was ten. Still haven't gotten over it. Sometimes denial.

Does your denial make you sometimes make you think they're still alive? Like when your offguard from denial?

i feel i have lost everyone in some sense, though everyone is still around and alive alhamdulillah.

Do you feel sad about that? How do you cope with it?




Jazakum Allahu khayrun everyone whose replied.. they're really interesting, and you get to appreciate that we're all going through something, and it reminds us of destroyer of pleasures [death].

[GuestFellow]

Does your denial make you sometimes make you think they're still alive? Like when your offguard from denial?
.

Salaam.

Yeah sometimes. I keep wishing that she might come back. I hope I can let it go one day.

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Cant stop thinking about this thread imsad It makes me feel so depressed.

I try my best to treat eveything i do as my last, i try to do the best in every good deed i do. Maybe thats why she left me behind. Allahu Alim

FiAmaaniAllah

[IbnAbdulHakim]

bro wen i lost my dad nothing in life seemed worth it


TV seemed crap
games seemed crap
crap seemed crapper

and all that kept me going was islam - and thinking that theres something much greater


then i got happy :D


hope that sorta answers a lil bit :)


Assalamu Alaikum

RAMADAN MUBARAK U ALU, im goin hajj this year - make dua for me innit :D

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

i feel i have lost everyone in some sense, though everyone is still around and alive alhamdulillah.

same here...well except the only relative i've met face to face--> my paternal grandad allah yar7amo imsad

how did i deal with it...you know you cant do anything about something that isn't in your hands to begin with...what else is there left to do? life stinks, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do...

[Gator]

Lost my dad a few years ago. I thought I had several more good years with him (my son was 3 and my daughter wasn't born yet). My reaction was I was very sad as they won't know my dad and I will miss him.

Another reaction I had was that it was the kind of death he wanted (very fast and unexpected). He was afraid of alzheimers/dementia that he had seen in his mom. So I was glad for that.

I was really sad for awhile (about a month or so) and once in awhile when I dwell on it, like this during this post. I think about him to this day.

[IslamicRevival]

Salaam. It just goes to show We are travelers of this world and in the end...our ultimate destination is the grave

[gladTidings]

:sl:

I lost my grandad in May this year. At the time I consoled myself with the idea that he is in a better place inshAllah...but recently the wounds have been reopened. My grandad spent the whole of Ramadhan with us ever since I can remember. He was a very pious man Alhamdullilah. I never woke in the early morning hours before Fajr and not witness him weeping on his musalla. He would wake my family for suhur. His weakness never stopped him from his struggle to go and pray at the Masjid, pray taraweeh or keep his fasts.

I spent time between prayers and helping with the housework during Ramadhan with him, and I would sit on his bed at night until he finished his hot milk and honey drink and would be too tired to talk. Its so empty without him this year.
He was such an inspiration, I miss him so much. imsad

Alhamdullilah he left this world with the shahada on his lips....what we are ultimately striving for inshAllah. May Allah swt give us strength Ameen.

[ژاله]

Originally Posted by Malaak
i feel i have lost everyone in some sense, though everyone is still around and alive alhamdulillah.

Do you feel sad about that? How do you cope with it?

yeah sometimes i do feel sad about that, it seems everyone has changed, they are not the same as i knew them, or may be i have changed in some abnormal way. i console myself telling myself ok i hate everyone, i dont have to care about them. it works sometimes, sometimes it doesnt.

[MSalman]

Asalam alykum

Have you ever lost someone you love? Was it willingly or unwillingly? How did you (and they) react to it? How did u get over it? And how long did that take?

Any extra details would be really good too plz, like how old u were etc.

Jazakum Allahu khayrun in advance. Look forward to your responses. :)

:wa:

habibi, what happened?

[Al-Zaara]

Elhamdulillah, I haven't lost a loved one yet.

But my mother did loose her parents almost at the same time. My grandmother died first and I remember I was about 11 or something, it snowed a lot, it was a winter evening, we (me, my younger sisters and Mum) had walked around the park near our house. When my aunt called my Mum, she was very silent for a while, said something to her sister and then with utter silence, did she cry. My sisters played around the snow and didn't notice. I held her hand the whole time, not knowing what to say.
May Allah have mercy on her and my grandfather's soul.

I remember that day clearly because that was for the first time I saw my Mum cry and that I actually felt death was close. Makes you grow and realize life. Elhamdulillah.

[أبو سليمان عمر]

Asalam alykum

Have you ever lost someone you love?

yes many of them

Was it willingly or unwillingly?

dont understand the question i mean dont understand what u mean by willingly or un

How did you (and they) react to it? How did u get over it?

i can tell u how i recated depends which time but in all alhumdulillah we need to remeber every soul shall test death so it is either they go and we weep over them or we go and they weep over us we have to have accptence in
the heart even thou it is sad and hurts for we know we all will go so to wail or weep/cry is going to help us a bit but would it help the person who is gone not at all so we should inside try or best to do dua and give sadaqa in there name dont get me wrong this is very hard to do and was hard for me as well but after the first few it a bit easier to accpt

And how long did that take?

depends which one the must i think was 5 days and this was along time ago now alhumdulillah i am saddened but it if it happens but i accpet and move on Alhumdulillah pls read this http://abdurrahman.org/seerah/riyad/06/chap153.htm

Any extra details would be really good too plz, like how old u were etc.

Jazakum Allahu khayrun in advance. Look forward to your responses. :)[/QUOTE]

[Tilmeez]

My father last year!
He meant a world to me. Being eldest son we never had long coversations but he taught me palying with guns, shooting, aiming, hunting wild animals and birds, swiming, crawling using different tools for repairing households. He was the one who motivated me for higher education and inspired me to live a simple and straight life.He never gave me long lecture still he taught the fairness and ugliness of life. He was a quite person but his deeds were loud and clear.
He was a busy bee, faught two wars and once POW four years. Even, the night he died he wan hunting pigs... And death hunted him.
I was informed at 8am and I had to travel some 1600 KMs to reach to his Janaza at 1600hrs. Allah alone knows how I traveled thouse miles without tears. I stayed on his grave alone till late that night with blank mind.

Then life over took us and we again found ourselves in mainstreem.

I often talk about him and recalls his goods he have done to us.

Khuda Rahmat Kunand Ein Ashiqan e Pak Teenat Ra!

[Hope4thebest]

My dad. May Allah have mercy on him. Since he died life doesn't seem to have the glow it used to have. He used to light up my life with his presence alone. I'll never see his like again. He always had sweet words to say to me and sound advice to give to me.

[Somaiyah]

Salam,
Yes I have. And I am still not over it.

[Faith.]

Yes....the most recent being my grandad who I still remember sometimes..__It's coming up to one year now...:cry:__

i feel i have lost everyone in some sense, though everyone is still around and alive alhamdulillah.

I feel the same.imsad

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:

yeah sometimes i do feel sad about that, it seems everyone has changed, they are not the same as i knew them, or may be i have changed in some abnormal way. i console myself telling myself ok i hate everyone, i dont have to care about them. it works sometimes, sometimes it doesnt.

I feel that way too, but i think its to do with the fact that we've got this islamic lifestyle now. We've had to make ourselves strangers, because Islam seems strange to even non practising muslim families, let alone non muslims.

What keeps us strong is our trust in Allah, and our family [Allah's Messengers', and the believers]. I prefer to read about them when i miss a lifestyle with people who i was really close to.

:wa:

habibi, what happened?

I just want to understand how other people go through this really akhi.. :) how do different type of people handle this type of situation?

Elhamdulillah, I haven't lost a loved one yet.

But my mother did loose her parents almost at the same time. My grandmother died first and I remember I was about 11 or something, it snowed a lot, it was a winter evening, we (me, my younger sisters and Mum) had walked around the park near our house. When my aunt called my Mum, she was very silent for a while, said something to her sister and then with utter silence, did she cry. My sisters played around the snow and didn't notice. I held her hand the whole time, not knowing what to say.
May Allah have mercy on her and my grandfather's soul.

I remember that day clearly because that was for the first time I saw my Mum cry and that I actually felt death was close. Makes you grow and realize life. Elhamdulillah.

When your sisters found out about the death, how did they react in comparison to u? Do u think it wouldn't be too much of a problem for u if u never had seen your mom cry? What did u feel like doing when u saw your mom cry?

Does that make u feel stronger now?

My dad. May Allah have mercy on him. Since he died life doesn't seem to have the glow it used to have. He used to light up my life with his presence alone. I'll never see his like again. He always had sweet words to say to me and sound advice to give to me.

What was your dad like? What kind of advice did he give, and what did he do that made u so happy?

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:

My father last year!
He was the one who motivated me for higher education and inspired me to live a simple and straight life.He never gave me long lecture still he taught the fairness and ugliness of life. He was a quite person but his deeds were loud and clear.

Rahimahullah.


What techniques did he use? :)

He was a busy bee, faught two wars and once POW four years. Even, the night he died he wan hunting pigs... And death hunted him.

Did he tell you anything about the life of a POW?

I was informed at 8am and I had to travel some 1600 KMs to reach to his Janaza at 1600hrs. Allah alone knows how I traveled thouse miles without tears. I stayed on his grave alone till late that night with blank mind.

What were u thinking when u were travelling there? And when u saw the grave, is that when u felt the reality of his death?

Khuda Rahmat Kunand Ein Ashiqan e Pak Teenat Ra!

ameen

[Ibn-Shakoor]

:sl:
I did inform you of who I lost that meant much to me but forgot to answer your following question:I did inform you of who I lost but forgot to answer to the following question.:

how did you(and they) react to it? How long did it take u?

To be honest it took me serveral months. The day I found out I had lost my grandfather was horrible,but considering what followed...Whenever I woke up at night I started to cry and mourn him daily. Whenever I talked to my relatives I cried loud enough to stun my family. My grandfather was not close to me as my other relatives but I still loved him. Makes me think how will I react when someone closer dies. May Allaah grant us the patience for when this occurs. His death took me by surprise as it was a tragic incident as my Aunt narrated. He threw up blood and clogged up his brain that eventually led to his death.

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Its a lot easier getting over someone who hasn't had much effect on your life. But of they leave a gap behind, a gap that is noticeable all throughout your life, then you can never get over it. And thats how i feel. I feel that gap all the time. imsad

SubhaanAllah!! Maybe thats why i have certain characters which i wouldnt have had without this test.

FiAmaaniAllah

[Al-Zaara]

When your sisters found out about the death, how did they react in comparison to u?

My Mum explained to them later on, that it's the way of life and they understood. They didn't react as emotionally as I did. I think also 'cause I remember them much better and have more clear my memories. They just knew she wasn't there anymore and well, that was it.

Do u think it wouldn't be too much of a problem for u if u never had seen your mom cry?

Yeah, I reacted quite differently from my sisters, one is a year younger, the other one four years younger than me, but still. It was those tears that made me remember she's actually someone's daugther, like I am hers. Grandmother wasn't only grandmother, but a mother too.

What did u feel like doing when u saw your mom cry?

I remember wanting to tell her I was sorry, but couldn't say 'cause I was going to cry too then and I wanted to be strong for Mum. So instead I held her hand tightly and didn't let go. I said to myself a prayer for my grandmother to be happy wherever she was.

Does that make u feel stronger now?

Yes, definitely. It didn't make me feel weak at that time, it just made me feel clueless and sad. Having seen her cry, made me realize adults cry too and they are also "children" to someone.

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

Yeah.. Lost quite a few people close to me in the fast few years.. In 2006 my Great Grandmother who i was very close to.

Last September, on the 8th of Ramadan, my Grandfather passed away.

9 months later, in June, i lost my father..
Im 16 years old, still havent got over the fact that he's gone.. There's always be a little of me thats missing, and nothing will ever be the same anymore :\ i had such a close relationship with my dad but i guess Allah does whats best.

But to know that he's in a better place now Im not worried for him because Inshallah he's in Jannah and i know he was such an amazing Muslim - so God fearing and had such strong Imaan Mashallah. Please remember him in your dua's..

And to be honest i dont think i'll get over the the deaths of these people because they were so close to me, and obviously i will never forget my dads death..

[khadija20]

Yeah.. Lost quite a few people close to me in the fast few years.. In 2006 my Great Grandmother who i was very close to.

Last September, on the 8th of Ramadan, my Grandfather passed away.

9 months later, in June, i lost my father..
Im 16 years old, still havent got over the fact that he's gone.. There's always be a little of me thats missing, and nothing will ever be the same anymore :\ i had such a close relationship with my dad but i guess Allah does whats best.

But to know that he's in a better place now Im not worried for him because Inshallah he's in Jannah and i know he was such an amazing Muslim - so God fearing and had such strong Imaan Mashallah. Please remember him in your dua's..

And to be honest i dont think i'll get over the the deaths of these people because they were so close to me, and obviously i will never forget my dads death..

i am sorry for your loss at such a young age habibi

[Danah]

I have never "literally" lost anyone close me alhumdulilah

but I did lose someone very close to my heart, even though, that one is still around.
I feel that it will be less suffering if that one did really pass away rather than losing such person in that way.

I keep telling myself this: "Alhumdulilah for everything, maybe Allah is testing me by that one" and I just keep my life move on because nothing really deserve us to be over-care about!

[Hope4thebest]

What was your dad like? What kind of advice did he give, and what did he do that made u so happy?

My Dad was perfect to me. He was kind, caring, funny and very understanding. He gave me religious advice as well as worldly advise. I was always his little girl (even though I'd reached adulthood long before his death).

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

I miss her more when im extremely sad, because then she could have helped me, and i miss her more when i am really happy, because then i would shre it with her........*sigh*

FiAmaaniAllah

[Wyatt]

:hmm: This is something I've always been petrified to even think about. I don't ever want to lose anyone.

I haven't yet, but in a way—I've lost my father. He's still alive, but he's just... gone and I haven't seen him in years, and probably won't ever again.

My great grandmother died when I was very little. I didn't like going to her house because she always gave sloppy kisses, but now I really appreciate how kind she was. She loved to cook, and we still use her recipes at home. :statisfie

(I say I haven't really lost anyone because back then, it never affected me because I didn't understand it. When I learned to understand it, it had been so long. Sometimes I wish she were back and I could talk with her.)

[MMohammed]

My Grandmother :( .
She was the nicest GrandMother in the whole world.May Allah bless her and grant her Jannah! {AAMEEN}
I dont think much about her or I become teary..
And I have patience by knowing that Everyone has to taste death

[جوري]

Have you ever lost someone you love

My uncle, then my aunt, then my best friend, then my two grandmothers (four months of each other) then my uncle.. then my grandmother's sister who was also like a grandmother..

Of all of those the ones that hit me the hardest was my best friend and my maternal grandmother.. albeit, since my uncle went first, it was a really bad shock, he was young and just had another son born two weeks prior to his death...

when my best friend died, I just couldn't believe it.. and to be quite honest I am not sure I ever got over it.. I wrote in my diary alot, and I think I got rid of my bedding three or four times that year.. I remember I had this really bright knit duvet cover where I'd spent my nights weeping, it was the first to go.. I just couldn't stand the sight of it.. I was unwell for a long time.. then I discovered Islam.. it was really comforting.. I actually appreciated why the prophet SAW, used to look forward to belal making the call for prayer...It gives you a chance to weep in peace and talk to Allah swt and he does put peace in the heart.. al7mdllilah, you just have to take it one day at a time, and if you can't you take it one hour at a time, or a minute at a time, until you can live with it...

:w:

[Laila01x]

its really hurtful when you lose somone close to you

[Dattera]

D,: It is, isn't it. I've lost someone very close to my heart just a few weeks ago and I'm still hurting. In a way, I have moved on, but I do get sad and upset when something remindes me of them. But then I tell myself that everything that happend and/or is about to happen was already written for me and I can't do anything to stop it but hope for the best that God will give me enough strength to cope.

['Abd-al Latif]

:salamext:

This thread needs a little lifting up so I'm gonna write down some stuff that hopefully insha'Allah will lift your spirits.

Al-Hasan al-Basri (rahimullah) said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”

Al-Fadl ibn Sahl said: “There is a blessing in calamity that the wise man should not ignore, for it erases sins, gives one the opportunity to attain the reward for patience, dispels negligence, reminds one of blessings at the time of health, calls one to repent and encourages one to give charity.

Calamities and disasters are a test, and they are a sign of Allahs love for a person because they are like medicine: even though it is bitter, despite its bitterness you give it to the one whom you love – and for Allah is the highest description. In the saheeh hadeeth it says: "The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2396) and Ibn Maajah (4031); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

Muslim (918) narrated that Umm Salamah (r) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (:saws:) say: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (:saws:) say: “There is no Muslim who is stricken with a calamity and says what Allaah has enjoined – ‘Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allaah, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better’ – but Allaah will compensate him with something better.”

She said: When Abu Salamah died, I said: Who among the Muslims is better than Abu Salamah, the first household to migrate to join the Messenger of Allaah (:saws:)? Then I said it, and Allaah compensated me with the Messenger of Allaah (:saws:).

And to end Allah says:

No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah:

So that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor be exultant at what He has given you; and Allah does not love any arrogant boaster: [57:22-23]

I know it's easier telling someone to move on after losing their loved one then actually doing it, but there is a wisom behind it all that our limited understand may not be able to see. The heart may still grieve over something that was never meant to be but truly in the remembrance of Allah do the hearts find rest. So praise and thank Him for His decree so that He may compensate you with what is better.

[Dagless]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Its a lot easier getting over someone who hasn't had much effect on your life. But of they leave a gap behind, a gap that is noticeable all throughout your life, then you can never get over it. And thats how i feel. I feel that gap all the time. imsad

SubhaanAllah!! Maybe thats why i have certain characters which i wouldnt have had without this test.

FiAmaaniAllah

Waalaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

I just came across this thread before going to bed. I'll probably be crying myself to sleep now! :p

Everyone experiences someone close dying or "the one" who turns out not to be. Death is cruel; people say it gets easier, but personally I find it harder and harder each time.

I read a few of the heartbroken posts on here and just wanted to give a general response. If these people who broke your hearts had cared enough then your hearts would be intact. Are they feeling that gap? or thinking about you? Getting heartbroken over people who obviously didn't care enough about you is a sure-fire way to mess yourself up. There will be better in store for you IA. Maybe this doesn't apply to everyone who commented but it may help a few remove the rose-coloured glasses.

[Diyaa~]

The greatest loss in life is not death, its when relationships inside us die" ..

When all muslims are in heaven [Inshallah] we will be united with the ones we love, - our parents, brothers sisters, relatives and friends..

i think the worst type of loss is when yu fall out with some you unconditionaly loved, && its a big shame when they cant see that =[ .. when relationships arent the same anymore.. when the other person means the world yet they dont believe you =[ .. thats painful =[

[Khaldun]

:sl:

Hardship

Throughout our lives we are faced with hardships some big and others small. It might be the loss of a loved one or financial difficulties or genuine grief and sorrow. It is human nature to ask the simple question, Why? Why are we tested? Why is it only me that is going through this difficulty whilst the people around me seem to be smiling and happy. As Muslims we realise the reason behind hardships in life and that Allah never means to destroy us thereby rather it is a test to see who amongst us are thankful and who amongst us are ungrateful.

Our noble Prophet said:

The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best, then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his faith. If his faith is firm, his affliction is hard, and if his faith is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins

[Reported by Imaam Ahmad in his Musnad and Imaam Tirmidhee in his Sunan]

And in his Sharh [explanation] Shaykh Aboo Qutaybah Nathar Muhammad al-Faaryaabee brings to light a very subtle point whilst commenting on the Hadith of Ibn ‘Abbas in the forty hadiths compiled by Imaam Nawawi rahimahulAllah:

And his [i.e the Prophets] statement:

…Verily with difficulty there is [much] ease…

And in another hadith the Prophet said:

Difficulty will never surpass ease

This is because [in the hadith] difficulty has been mentioned twice and ease has been mentioned twice but [what is well known] amongst arabs is that if a word is in a definite form [i.e it has al before it] then it will always be just one even if repeated [i.e since the word difficulty 'usr is mentioned as al-'usr in its definite form then it is only refering to one difficulty] But if the word is undefined [known in arabic as nakirah] and it is repeated it shows a multitude [and in the hadith the word yusr, arabic for ease is undefined so it shows that alot of ease comes after just one hardship. This is the same for the Qur'aan where this is mentioned in surah alam nashrah]

Source

[Rafeeq]

How painful it is if you lose some one you love very much and it is not death which snatched him/her from you...

I understand the lose of somebody through death is very painful but the lose I am refering is realy mare than the death. Allah has kept a peace in someone's death since you know, he/she is no more in the world but if you feel his/her presence somewhere around and still he/she is not for you any more ...................................:(

[buddy1]

My grampy, he was my dad, (my dad never lived with me and i fell out with him over a year ago) he died very suddenly of bronchial pneumonia, was fine in the morning, died in the night. COMPLETELY unexpected.

How did i get over it?? same as woodrow, NEVER, I never have and i never will, i think of him everyday, and always have wonderful memories of him. losing him was like losing the leg to my table, he was so wise, always advised me, always spoilt my children, was so proud to be a great bampy (my kids used to call him bampy!) and i was so proud to have him, and i always will be, he was a strong person and i would give my right arm to be like him!

[kamran javed]

salam . ya i love to some one but he's not here cuz he was die

[Woodrow]

How painful it is if you lose some one you love very much and it is not death which snatched him/her from you...

I understand the lose of somebody through death is very painful but the lose I am refering is realy mare than the death. Allah has kept a peace in someone's death since you know, he/she is no more in the world but if you feel his/her presence somewhere around and still he/she is not for you any more ...................................:(

:sl:

That is a lose that can only be healed by time and the finding of one you will love more than the one who you lost. Keep in mind that a great loss is often replaced by something better, even though today we believe we already had and lost the best.

I can remember a wonderful young lady I loved deeply and lost to another. That was many years ago. Yet, if as wonderful as she was if that love had been fulfilled, I might never have ventured onto the life path that brought me to Islam. My great loss was an early step to my great gain.

[S.A.SH]

Through Death I have lost nearly everyone I ever loved. I am now the oldest surviving male In my Family Tree.

I do have 2 surviving Aunts that are only a few years older than me. But both of them are very close to death.

Now how did the loses affect me?

My Father was the first I lost I was 7 years old. For many years I stayed in denial and until I was about 16 I kept expecting to see him come walking in the door every evening. Even then I still cried for him for a long time.

Then when I was 14 I lost both Grandfathers in the same year. I felt like I lost my best friend when My Grand Father on my mother's side died. He was my substitute father and taught me many things from how to shoe horses, milk cows, catch fish, shoot a rifle and handguns, pick up venomous snakes, how to swim and he gave me a love of languages.

From then on the loses became blurs, it seemed like I lost at least one loved one every month. The last hardest loss I had was my mother. Now, it seems like loss is normal and it is simply a part of life.

Now how did I get over the loses. I didn't, I do not have to. I reached the age of seeing death as being no more then graduation or flunking out from this life. May Allaah(swt) allow me to become one of the graduates.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un:cry:

['Abdul Rahmaan]

I did lose someone I loved. :(

[roohani.doctor]

Loss through other than death can be as painful as loss through death.

Recently, I lost a close friend...someone who promised to be my "sister" and though I dont blame her for everything that happened, I am still sorry for the way we let it end.

Losing anyone close to you can hurl you to the darkest place you've ever been. It leads to despair, hopelessness and the worst obviously.... is missing the person/re-living the past.

But alhumdullilah, Islam can get you through anything. Pain...tears and sorrow - they all fade with time. :) *a little sad*

[AlbanianMuslim]

So many times I have become almost numb to it.