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AnonymousPoster
09-01-2009, 01:30 PM
My mum's fixing me up with someone alhamdulilah but I told her I'd like to see a picture of the girl before I meet her because I might meet her and not like her and then it'd be akward and the girl's feelings might get hurt.

So I told her to ask the girl's aunty for a picture first and if I find her appearance to be ok then I'll meet her.

Is there anything wrong with this??

I don't wanna meet her and get her hopes up and then let her down.
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AlexJ90
09-01-2009, 02:23 PM
brother you dont have to force your self to marry a woman you dont love in and out. As a matter of fact its up to you, on who you want to marry, why get your mother to do it? Your a man arn't you not? Arranged marriages are more or less pointless as you dont know the woman you are marrying, also you must love the woman inside and out, not force your self into a marriage that shares no love.
Reply

S_87
09-01-2009, 04:09 PM
is there any way u could see her without having her picture? id personally be iffy to give my pic to someone i didnt know.
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The Ruler
09-01-2009, 04:12 PM
Can't your parents play now-you-see-it-now-you-don't with the picture of the woman?
What I mean is that they give it to you for some inspection, then take it away and give it back to the owner.

... Or you could go to see her and if you don't like her, hope to never see her or her family again.
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MaiCarInMtl
09-01-2009, 04:56 PM
I don't see what the problem is. She may want to see a picture of you too... But meeting someone is important as their actions speak loudly as to what kind of a person they are. Sometimes actions make a person even more beautiful than anything you could ever see in a picture.
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Zarmina
09-01-2009, 04:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
My mum's fixing me up with someone alhamdulilah but I told her I'd like to see a picture of the girl before I meet her because I might meet her and not like her and then it'd be akward and the girl's feelings might get hurt.

So I told her to ask the girl's aunty for a picture first and if I find her appearance to be ok then I'll meet her.

Is there anything wrong with this??

I don't wanna meet her and get her hopes up and then let her down.
Pictures can be tricky. I would recommend meeting her and talking to her. You may not like the picture, but once talking to her, you may actually do like here. So give it a chance.
Reply

cat eyes
09-01-2009, 05:30 PM
ya i would ask 4 a picture knowing da way women are they have high expectations on the first meeting...Your very clever wise man haha itz important brother that you feel comfortable and thatz all that matters. You just don't want 2 hurt anybody with rejection. Personally i think arranged marriages are a big NO NO! Especially if they live in the same area as you. There's so much pressure involved and da amount of stories i heard it just turnz in 2 a holy war between the two families if one of them gets rejected...choose a girl who you really like and admire..and she dön't mind waiting 2 get 2know you.
Reply

أبو سليمان عمر
09-01-2009, 05:31 PM
Question:

Is it permissible to look at a picture of a woman before marriage?
Answer:

Pictures are forbidden. Pictures that contain souls are not permissible and what occurs from the Muslims today is that the male fiance and his intended (spouse) exchange photographs with one another. Then this is blind following of the West.

So he should see her in person, by way of her walee (guardian), if he desires to be engaged (to her). Only, then can he look at her and she can look at him. Yes.

Shaykh `Ubayd al-Jaabiree
Question and answer session via Paltalk
http://fatwaislam.com/fis/index.cfm?scn=fd&ID=187
Reply

Rebel
09-01-2009, 06:47 PM
I might meet her and not like her and then it'd be akward and the girl's feelings might get hurt.
Asking for her picture is equally insulting. If I were a woman, I think I'd feel very insulted if someone rejected me just by looking at my picture. But then again, I doubt I'd want to spend the rest of my life with such a shallow person :D

I've heard of cases where relatives/friends of the girl convince her to go out somewhere where the man can take a good look at her without her knowledge. That way you can watch the way she behaves too...

I've also heard of cases where the man visits the girl's workplace/uni/whatever n makes up a scenario where she's forced to communicate with him. That way she gets to see you too.

I still find it stupid but I suppose it's much better than asking her for her photo n judging her based on her looks only.

Whatever you do, just make sure she doesn't know about your plans till you're absolutely convinced she's the one.

Arranged marriages are pathetic.
Reply

MSalman
09-01-2009, 07:06 PM
as-salamu 'alaykum

the following should help you insha'Allah: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/99863
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cat eyes
09-01-2009, 07:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umar^111
Question:

Is it permissible to look at a picture of a woman before marriage?
Answer:

Pictures are forbidden. Pictures that contain souls are not permissible and what occurs from the Muslims today is that the male fiance and his intended (spouse) exchange photographs with one another. Then this is blind following of the West.

So he should see her in person, by way of her walee (guardian), if he desires to be engaged (to her). Only, then can he look at her and she can look at him. Yes.

Shaykh `Ubayd al-Jaabiree
Question and answer session via Paltalk
http://fatwaislam.com/fis/index.cfm?scn=fd&ID=187
hummm it would have been helpful if he could have explained the reason in his answer also as all shaykh's are mean't to do..

i don't see what would be the problem in exchanging picture's. it might be insulting to a person with no confidence and low self esteem but id have no problem in it giving my pic.

we live in a different generation now. in the old days men were meeting the women with the intention of marrying that woman. meeting a woman these days its important that you like them thats just the way we are now and its really not easy to reject that woman after meeting because she will make a false hope out of it when she will hear him talk and his personality and things like this and then she will want his number and everything and it won't be easy for him to say no will it... its just a different century we live in today and we have to be more careful about meeting people whom we don't even want to marry. getting rejected all he time puts you off marriage
Reply

Rasema
09-01-2009, 07:33 PM
Assalamu Alikum

Brother, I don't think that your family would get someone you wouldn't want. Still see her if you can. If not, I don't know what to tell you.

Make sure that she is a practicing and devoted Muslim.
Reply

AlexJ90
09-01-2009, 07:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umar^111
Question:


So he should see her in person, by way of her walee (guardian), if he desires to be engaged (to her). Only, then can he look at her and she can look at him. Yes.

Shaykh `Ubayd al-Jaabiree
Question and answer session via Paltalk
http://fatwaislam.com/fis/index.cfm?scn=fd&ID=187

are you telling me if i want to marry a woman i cant look at her before i do, so i know just who im marrying and how she looks like?
Reply

Rasema
09-01-2009, 07:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AlexIslam
are you telling me if i want to marry a woman i cant look at her before i do, so i know just who im marrying and how she looks like?
You only need to know if she is a good devoted Muslim.

Oh, and I think the fatwa said th eopposite.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
09-01-2009, 08:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rebel
Asking for her picture is equally insulting. If I were a woman, I think I'd feel very insulted if someone rejected me just by looking at my picture. But then again, I doubt I'd want to spend the rest of my life with such a shallow person :D

I've heard of cases where relatives/friends of the girl convince her to go out somewhere where the man can take a good look at her without her knowledge. That way you can watch the way she behaves too...

I've also heard of cases where the man visits the girl's workplace/uni/whatever n makes up a scenario where she's forced to communicate with him. That way she gets to see you too.

I still find it stupid but I suppose it's much better than asking her for her photo n judging her based on her looks only.

Whatever you do, just make sure she doesn't know about your plans till you're absolutely convinced she's the one.

Arranged marriages are pathetic.
You classify having the preference of liking the other persons appearance as being shallow?? Some of us have preferences with regards to our potential partners just like you have preferences in other areas of your life.

I'm sure you prefer a particular type of car , or a particular type of friend, or a particular type of food, just like I prefer a particular type of women, that doesn't make me shallow does it? I have a preference with regards to this area of my life just like you have preferences with regards to other areas of your life.

And you certainly don't see me calling people shallow because they have preferences with regards to various things in their life like the company they keep, the vehicle they drive, the way they style their hair.

I have a preference for a particular type of women just like you also have a preference for a particular kind of women, and part of my preference is that I like the appearance of the women.

Yes your preference could be different to mine in that you don't mind if her appearance isn't pleasing to you, but not the whole world is like you.

I think you've been influenced by watching too many hollywood teen movies and teen dramas ;D

We know from the sunnah that the prophet pbuh encouraged a man to look at a women first, to see if he liked her and he was a companion of the prophet pbuh.

Just like some sisters have the preference that the man has to have a beard, does that make them shallow? No it doesn't because that's their preference with regards to men.

My preference with regards to women is she wears hijaab and is praticing and her appearance is pleasing to me what's so shallow about that?

Also I don't remember saying I'd reject her if I didn't like the picture, her appearance is one of the things that I will take into account when making my decision. It's not the sole factor in my decision it's one of many factors that will help shape my decision.

the reason I asked for a picture is the girl lives many miles away and it's not feasable to travel that great distance to see her.

If I don't like the picture I'll still meet her at a future date when it's more feasable cos pictures can be deceiving to a point, however by looking at a picture I can take another thing into account her appearance.

hence we just asked for a pic as it's easier than travelling all that way and then realise I don't even like her appearance.

I'm sure you have preferences with regards to physical appearance too, for example would you get married to a bold women or a women with loads of facial piercings? or a women with a moustache? or a women who plucked her eye brows?

I'm sure you have preferences too so please don't call me shallow for having them. One could argue that he's following the advice of the prophet pbuh by looking at the lady first before deciding to propose to her :)

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you proposes to a woman, if he can look at that which may encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so.” He said: I proposed to a girl and I used to hide myself from her until I saw that which encouraged me to marry her, and I went ahead and married her. This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

I'm just following the advice of the prophet pbuh brother, I want to look at that which may encourage me even more to go ahead and marry her.

So please don't call me shallow for following the advice of your prophet and mine peace be upon him.

Also somebody posted a link to Islam QA where scholars have dealt with this issue and they said the following

"If you cannot travel to see the one to whom you want to propose, then you can look at a picture of her, but you should realize that a picture is not a true reflection of reality. A woman may appear more beautiful in a picture than she really is, and vice versa.

You also have to get rid of this picture and not keep it, and you have to be careful so that no one else sees it but you.

Do not ask for a picture until you have feel that you want to marry her, after asking about her religious commitment and situation, and you think that you will most likely be accepted. When there is nothing left to be done but seeing her, then ask for the picture at that point, because of the report narrated by Ahmad (18005) and Ibn Majaah (1864) from Muhammad ibn Maslamah, who said: I proposed marriage to a woman, then I hid and waited to see her until I saw her among some date palm trees that belonged to her. It was said to him: Do you do such a thing when you are a companion of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? He said, “When Allaah causes a man to propose to a woman, there is nothing wrong with him looking at her.” It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Majaah.

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If he wants to propose to her it is mustahabb for him to look at her lest he come to regret it. Another view is that this looking is not mustahabb, rather it is permissible, but the former view is the one that is correct, because of the ahaadeeth. It is permissible to look repeatedly in order to have a good idea about her physical appearance, whether the looking is with her permission or not. If it is not easy to look, he may send a woman to look at her and describe her to him. End quote from Rawdat al-Taalibeen (7/19)".


Looking at one’s fiancée or at her picture is subject to the condition that there be no provocation of desire, so he should look at her without pleasure.

It says in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (5/12): If the one who proposes to a woman is certain that there will be no provocation of desire when looking at her, without being alone with her, he may look at her. If he is alone with her or there is the fear that desire may be provoked, then it is not permissible. End quote.

And Allaah knows best.


I've asked about her religious commitment and her character and I am pleased with them and I cannot travel to see her therefore a picture remains the only viable option.
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AnonymousPoster
09-01-2009, 08:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by The Ruler
Can't your parents play now-you-see-it-now-you-don't with the picture of the woman?
What I mean is that they give it to you for some inspection, then take it away and give it back to the owner.

... Or you could go to see her and if you don't like her, hope to never see her or her family again.
We don't even have to do that, we're going to go to the girls aunty's house to look at the pic. We're never actually going to be in posession of the picture. The girl lives in a distant city that's why we can't go down easily.
Reply

أبو سليمان عمر
09-01-2009, 09:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AlexIslam
are you telling me if i want to marry a woman i cant look at her before i do, so i know just who im marrying and how she looks like?
no that is not what i am telling u u asked about picture then no u cant look at her but as he said
So he should see her in person, by way of her walee (guardian), if he desires to be engaged (to her). Only, then can he look at her and she can look at him. Yes

now about the limit in looking

Question: Is it allowed for a woman to look at all of the parts of her husband's body or for him to look at all of her with the intention of enjoying what is permissible?

Response: It is allowed for a woman to look at any part of her husband's body and it is allowed for a man to look at all of his wife's body without any exception. This is based on the Qur.aanic verse:

{And those who guard their private parts except from their wives or slaves, for then, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors}, [Soorah al-Mu.minoon, Aayah 5-7].

Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Fataawa al-Mar.ah

What is Allowed (Physically) to be Seen Between Husband and Wife
It is not Haraam (impermissible) for a man to look at anything from the body of his wife and neither is it the case in regards to the touching of it.

However; it has been said: that it is disliked to look at the private parts, and it has been said: that it is not disliked except at the time of sexual relations. And Allaah knows best.

Shaykh ul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah
Jaami’ al-Masaa’il le Shaikhil Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah Majmoo’ah ar-raabi’ah (book four in the series) page: 358
Translated by Aboo Haatim Muhammad Farooq

So looking is good as you should do so. But again you asked about a photo and the correct view is the pictures are haram in islam. so you should see her in person with A wali there nothing wrong with this
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Salahudeen
09-01-2009, 09:25 PM
^ I'm confused, is the scholar saying you are allowed to look at any part of her body before marriage?? or is he talking about after marriage?
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AnonymousPoster
09-01-2009, 09:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
ya i would ask 4 a picture knowing da way women are they have high expectations on the first meeting...Your very clever wise man haha itz important brother that you feel comfortable and thatz all that matters. You just don't want 2 hurt anybody with rejection. Personally i think arranged marriages are a big NO NO! Especially if they live in the same area as you. There's so much pressure involved and da amount of stories i heard it just turnz in 2 a holy war between the two families if one of them gets rejected...choose a girl who you really like and admire..and she dön't mind waiting 2 get 2know you.
Sis if we both like each other the families will allow us to get to know each other before we got married. We're not gonna get married the next day ;D it's a long process, probably get to know her for about 1 year.
Reply

ardianto
09-01-2009, 09:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by squiggle
^ I'm confused, is the scholar saying you are allowed to look at any part of her body before marriage?? or is he talking about after marriage?
He is talking about after marriage. Out of topic, of course. ;D
Reply

Rebel
09-01-2009, 09:34 PM
I've asked about her religious commitment and her character and I am pleased with them and I cannot travel to see her therefore a picture remains the only viable option.
Wow... you sounded like a completely different person there. You shoulda said all that from the beginning to prevent me - and others who are influenced by Hollywood dramas (!) - from misjudging you.

I'd like to see a picture of the girl before I meet her because I might meet her and not like her
That ^ part of your post did sound quite shallow at first. I personally know and have heard of many people who marry someone just for their looks (specially those who prefer arranged marriages) and your post gave the impression that you were one of them.

Also I don't remember saying I'd reject her if I didn't like the picture, her appearance is one of the things that I will take into account when making my decision. It's not the sole factor in my decision it's one of many factors that will help shape my decision.
Hmmm:

I don't wanna meet her and get her hopes up and then let her down.
Ah, well. I sincerely apologise for the misunderstanding and although I am totally against arranged marriages, and don't necessarily agree with your way of finding a wife, I wish you all the best.
Reply

أبو سليمان عمر
09-01-2009, 09:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
hummm it would have been helpful if he could have explained the reason in his answer also as all shaykh's are mean't to do..
Inshallah i can explain Pic are haram in islam
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said, “I heard theMessenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:‘Whoever makes an image in this world will be told to breathe the soulinto it on the Day of Resurrection, and he will never be able to dothat.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim).
He [Ibn ‘Abbaas (mayAllaah be pleased with him)] also narrated that the Prophet (peace andblessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every image-maker will be inthe Fire, and every image that he made will be made to appear to himand will torment him in Hell.” Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “If you must do that,then make trees and things that have no soul.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaariand Muslim).
the Prophet (peace andblessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “The angels do not enter anyhouse in which there is an image,” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, Bid’al-Khalq, 2986), and whatever the angels do not enter had no goodnessin it. inshallah that will help

format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
i don't see what would be the problem in exchanging picture's. it might be insulting to a person with no confidence and low self esteem but id have no problem in it giving my pic.
the problem is that photos are haram that is the problem

format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
we live in a different generation now. in the old days men were meeting the women with the intention of marrying that woman. meeting a woman these days its important that you like them thats just the way we are now and its really not easy to reject that woman after meeting because she will make a false hope out of it when she will hear him talk and his personality and things like this and then she will want his number and everything and it won't be easy for him to say no will it... its just a different century we live in today and we have to be more careful about meeting people whom we don't even want to marry. getting rejected all he time puts you off marriage
New generation old generation dont matter islam is for All times and perfect Alhumdulillah so when we see an ayah or hadith that say somthing is haram it was haram then and is now.... And im sure his intention is to marry her if she is what he wants so there is no problem there... never did i say or did the scholars say not to meet her/him he said no PHOTOS... Islam is beautiful Alhumdulillah so since it isnt easy to say no doing somthing haram is ok now?..again with time islam is for All times we have no right to say other wise
ٱلۡيَوۡمَ أَكۡمَلۡتُ لَكُمۡ دِينَكُمۡ وَأَتۡمَمۡتُ عَلَيۡكُمۡ نِعۡمَتِى وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ ٱلۡإِسۡلَـٰمَ دِينً۬ا*ۚ فَمَنِ ٱضۡطُرَّ فِى مَخۡمَصَةٍ غَيۡرَ مُتَجَانِفٍ۬ لِّإِثۡمٍ۬*ۙ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ۬ رَّحِيمٌ۬ (٣)

This day,5 I have perfected your religion for you, and completed my
Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Al-Islaam as your Deen.
(Qur’aan 5:3).
So inshallah this benefits one must like what he sees in order to marry and be happy that is well know but there is a way like there is a way to do everything in islam so May Allah help u and make it easy for u to please him Ameen
Reply

أبو سليمان عمر
09-01-2009, 09:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by squiggle
^ I'm confused, is the scholar saying you are allowed to look at any part of her body before marriage?? or is he talking about after marriage?
LOL sorry but inshallah this will clear up everything about this
Question: Is it permissible for a man to look at other than the face and hands of the woman he wishes to propose to, such as looking at her hair and her neck?

Response: That which is apparent to me, and Allaah knows best, is that this is permissible without a previous agreement. He (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said that which means:

((If anyone’s heart settles on proposing to a woman, then he can look at that which will lead him to marry her)), [Translators note: This is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abdillaah (radhi-yallaahu 'anhu) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:

((If any of you has proposed to a woman, and if he is able to look at that which will lead him to marry her, then he should do so))]

As regards a previous agreement, then it is not permissible to look at more than the face and hands.

Shaykh al-Albaanee
Fataawa Muhimmah li-Nisaa. al-Ummah – Page 138
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ardianto
09-01-2009, 09:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender

Also I don't remember saying I'd reject her if I didn't like the picture, her appearance is one of the things that I will take into account when making my decision. It's not the sole factor in my decision it's one of many factors that will help shape my decision.
Yes, don't make a decision to marry or not marry her only from the picture.
Always remember, inner beauty is better than outer beauty.

I've asked about her religious commitment and her character and I am pleased with them and I cannot travel to see her therefore a picture remains the only viable option.
I am not scholar, I don't know are you allowed to phone her or not. But if you are allowed to phone her you can phone her if you want to know further about her.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
09-01-2009, 10:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rebel
Wow... you sounded like a completely different person there. You shoulda said all that from the beginning to prevent me - and others who are influenced by Hollywood dramas (!) - from misjudging you.



That ^ part of your post did sound quite shallow at first. I personally know and have heard of many people who marry someone just for their looks (specially those who prefer arranged marriages) and your post gave the impression that you were one of them.



Hmmm:





Ah, well. I sincerely apologise for the misunderstanding and although I am totally against arranged marriages, and don't necessarily agree with your way of finding a wife, I wish you all the best.


I accept thank you, I would never marry just for looks that's a recipie for disaster lol

I'm abit lost on the other methods of finding a wife, what other ways are there. I don't want to have a boy friend/ girl friend type of relationship and don't know any other way :cry:
Reply

أبو سليمان عمر
09-01-2009, 10:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
I accept thank you, I would never marry just for looks that's a recipie for disaster lol

I'm abit lost on the other methods of finding a wife, what other ways are there. I don't want to have a boy friend/ girl friend type of relationship and don't know any other way :cry:
Do it islamicly that is the best way no one should tell u otherwise in islam u meet her with a wali if u like u can then talk or have someone from ur family talk to her to see how religous she is mother sister aunty etc but again what ever u do do it islamicly bf/gf no talking and hanging out before marrige no May Allah allow u to please him Ameen
do whats right
Reply

cat eyes
09-01-2009, 10:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umar^111
Inshallah i can explain Pic are haram in islam
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said, “I heard theMessenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:‘Whoever makes an image in this world will be told to breathe the soulinto it on the Day of Resurrection, and he will never be able to dothat.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim).
He [Ibn ‘Abbaas (mayAllaah be pleased with him)] also narrated that the Prophet (peace andblessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every image-maker will be inthe Fire, and every image that he made will be made to appear to himand will torment him in Hell.” Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “If you must do that,then make trees and things that have no soul.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaariand Muslim).
the Prophet (peace andblessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “The angels do not enter anyhouse in which there is an image,” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, Bid’al-Khalq, 2986), and whatever the angels do not enter had no goodnessin it. inshallah that will help


the problem is that photos are haram that is the problem


New generation old generation dont matter islam is for All times and perfect Alhumdulillah so when we see an ayah or hadith that say somthing is haram it was haram then and is now.... And im sure his intention is to marry her if she is what he wants so there is no problem there... never did i say or did the scholars say not to meet her/him he said no PHOTOS... Islam is beautiful Alhumdulillah so since it isnt easy to say no doing somthing haram is ok now?..again with time islam is for All times we have no right to say other wise
ٱلۡيَوۡمَ أَكۡمَلۡتُ لَكُمۡ دِينَكُمۡ وَأَتۡمَمۡتُ عَلَيۡكُمۡ نِعۡمَتِى وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ ٱلۡإِسۡلَـٰمَ دِينً۬ا*ۚ فَمَنِ ٱضۡطُرَّ فِى مَخۡمَصَةٍ غَيۡرَ مُتَجَانِفٍ۬ لِّإِثۡمٍ۬*ۙ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ۬ رَّحِيمٌ۬ (٣)

This day,5 I have perfected your religion for you, and completed my
Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Al-Islaam as your Deen.
(Qur’aan 5:3).
So inshallah this benefits one must like what he sees in order to marry and be happy that is well know but there is a way like there is a way to do everything in islam so May Allah help u and make it easy for u to please him Ameen
great thanks for giving the hadith for why it's not allowed..
of course Allah swt order's are for all time.. not once did i object to that in my post however i did mention that human's are changing that is the problem.. we are forced to live with the times or its not easy to find a spouse now for example the brother is having problems.. he don't know what to do or what way to go about it! picture's are haraam and he lives far away from her. so what is he left with. he wants to get to know her for a year so i mean is this allowed? you see what i mean?.. people expectations are changing then what do we do.
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-01-2009, 10:26 PM
^^^^ yes sis times are different and maybe a bit harder but we now have cars planes etc they didnt have those back then no matter what situation we are in no matter how hard we think it is islam is not a burden on anyone and the harder you work to compiling with the rules of Allah the greater the reward .. And yes getting to know her talking to her meeting with her and the likes is haram without her marham there no ifs ands or buts simple matter he can meet her then if he likes what he sees can talk to her so long as a wali is there i posted this on another form but will post it here as well

Question: What is the view of the religion concerning [pre-marital] relations?

Response: If the questioner means by "before marriage," before consummation of the marriage but after the contract, the there is no harm in such relations since she is his wife by virtue of the contract, even though they have not decorously consummate the marriage. However, if it is before the marriage, such as during the period of engagement or otherwise, such contact is forbidden and impermissible. It is not allowed for a man to enjoy a nor related woman's company, either by speech, look or private company.

It is confirmed that the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:

((A man cannot be alone with a woman except in the presence of [one of her] mahram. And a woman cannot travel except with a mahram)).

In sum, if that contact or association is after the marriage contract, there is no harm in it. If it is before the marriage ceremony, even if it is after proposal and acceptance, it is not allowed. Such behavior is forbidden for him since the woman is a non-relative and non-wife until they conclude the marriage contract.

Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Fataawa al-Mar.ah
taken from fatwa online
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aadil77
09-01-2009, 10:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Sis if we both like each other the families will allow us to get to know each other before we got married. We're not gonna get married the next day ;D it's a long process, probably get to know her for about 1 year.
That sounds like a ridiculously long period to me. Of course get to know each other within limits, but don't prolong it brother or you might have problems arising out of nowhere.
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-01-2009, 10:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by squiggle
^ I know brother, I just don't like it when people label other people as something and it isn't true.

If someone pointed the finger at you and accussed you of doing a major sin when you wern't doing it, wouldn't you feel hurt that this person accussed you of being guilty of something you're not.
Yea it would but that is becasue we are human .. truth be told him/her saying somthing that isnt true cant really hurt us we know the truth and Allah knows
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Rasema
09-01-2009, 10:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by squiggle
^ I know brother, I just don't like it when people label other people as something and it isn't true.

If someone pointed the finger at you and accussed you of doing a major sin when you wern't doing it, wouldn't you feel hurt that this person accussed you of being guilty of something you're not.
SQIGGLE

The brother would've told me that I misunderstood him and I would apologise TO HIM.

Sorry you freaked out.

I request forgivness.
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AnonymousPoster
09-01-2009, 10:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
great thanks for giving the hadith for why it's not allowed..
of course Allah swt order's are for all time.. not once did i object to that in my post however i did mention that human's are changing that is the problem.. we are forced to live with the times or its not easy to find a spouse now for example the brother is having problems.. he don't know what to do or what way to go about it! picture's are haraam and he lives far away from her. so what is he left with. he wants to get to know her for a year so i mean is this allowed? you see what i mean?.. people expectations are changing then what do we do.
Sis LOL I don't want to get to know her for a year but I'm assuming that's what she'll want maybe she won't if things work out this is one of the things we'll have to discuss, how long we think we should get to know each other.

But a question that arises is, there's only so much you can get to know about a person before you know them fully and have nothing left to talk about with them lol.

With most people I get to know them after a month everything about them then we have no convo left apart from everyday stuff like

"did you watch the game last night"

so it probably won't take long for us to get to know each other inshallah, I am shy though so she might think I'm weird cos I don't talk that much at first :embarrass

do girls generally find quite, shy guys weird?? lol or is it an individual preferance thing, it's different for each girl. I'll just pretend she's my best mate

Me: "salaam fatso did you watch the game last night"

mate: " waslaam skinny lampost, yeh I watched your rubbish team losing"

Me: "my team ain't rubbish,"

mate: "Yes they are"

Me: "No they ain't"

2 hours later

mate: "yes they are"

Me: " No they ain;t"

HAHAHAHA LOOL jus jokin ;D
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Najm
09-01-2009, 10:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by The Ruler
Can't your parents play now-you-see-it-now-you-don't with the picture of the woman?
What I mean is that they give it to you for some inspection, then take it away and give it back to the owner.

... Or you could go to see her and if you don't like her, hope to never see her or her family again.
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Thats a good idea ............ be sure the picture is given back though and NOT KEPT!

FiAmaaniAllah
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Salahudeen
09-01-2009, 10:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rasema
SQIGGLE

The brother would've told me that I misunderstood him and I would apologise TO HIM.

Sorry you freaked out.

I request forgivness.

Don't need to request my forgivess sis, you never upset me I just wanted you you to understand he wasn't backbiting any 1.

I'm sorry if I offended you in any way it wasn't my intention to do so. forgive me if I did.
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Rasema
09-01-2009, 10:59 PM
Apologies accepted,of course.
Best of health and iman.
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cat eyes
09-01-2009, 11:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Sis LOL I don't want to get to know her for a year but I'm assuming that's what she'll want maybe she won't if things work out this is one of the things we'll have to discuss, how long we think we should get to know each other.

But a question that arises is, there's only so much you can get to know about a person before you know them fully and have nothing left to talk about with them lol.

With most people I get to know them after a month everything about them then we have no convo left apart from everyday stuff like

"did you watch the game last night"

so it probably won't take long for us to get to know each other inshallah, I am shy though so she might think I'm weird cos I don't talk that much at first :embarrass

do girls generally find quite, shy guys weird?? lol or is it an individual preferance thing, it's different for each girl. I'll just pretend she's my best mate

Me: "salaam fatso did you watch the game last night"

mate: " waslaam skinny lampost, yeh I watched your rubbish team losing"

Me: "my team ain't rubbish,"

mate: "Yes they are"

Me: "No they ain't"

2 hours later

mate: "yes they are"

Me: " No they ain;t"

HAHAHAHA LOOL jus jokin ;D
:giggling: no being shy is not weird its kinda cute actually

ya you can pretend like she is your best mate just don't talk about football or any other sports LOL
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AnonymousPoster
09-01-2009, 11:21 PM
^thanks for the pointer, I'll talk about Islam ;D

Who's your favourite companion that you love listening to stories about?

What's your favourite topic that you love learning bout? :D

Who's your fav recitor ;D
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Humbler_359
09-01-2009, 11:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rasema
Assalamu Alikum

Brother, I don't think that your family would get someone you wouldn't want. Still see her if you can. If not, I don't know what to tell you.

>>Make sure that she is a practicing and devoted Muslim<<.
Yes, that's what I want to know. Exactly. Done! ;D
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AnonymousPoster
09-01-2009, 11:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rasema
Assalamu Alikum

Brother, I don't think that your family would get someone you wouldn't want. Still see her if you can. If not, I don't know what to tell you.

Make sure that she is a practicing and devoted Muslim.
Rasema, my and my mother differ when it comes to women I'm afraid, when we're out she goes

"what do you think of her shall I approach her for you and find out if she's available for marriage"

and the girls she points out %50 of the time I would like to marry %50 of the time I wouldn't lol

But I never let her approach women for me when we're out I get to embarressed LOL the girl would probably freak out.

wouldn't you if someone women just came upto and started chatting to you and then told you "ahem my son is interested in you for marriage are you available" LOL

but alhamdulilah she always chooses praticing women who are covered head to toe so knows I won't go for someone who isn't Islamic.
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Snowflake
09-02-2009, 12:29 AM
but alhamdulilah she always chooses praticing women who are covered head to toe
Just want to say don't automatically assume all covered sisters are practicing :hmm:
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Rasema
09-02-2009, 12:59 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
Just want to say don't automatically assume all covered sisters are practicing :hmm:
As the sister said. Brother, I'm no one to give you an advice but let me worn you. Love is blind. When you love someone you'll do things that are in your loved persons favour and you forget to ask Allah and His Messanger,saws. So, make sure that you stay strong in your deen. Don't let your wife or children fade your brain from the awareness of Allah.

Talk to your mother and make sure the chosen, really is ready to be a wife. Most importantly, that she truly is devoted.

This is a person that will raise your children,InshAllah. It will be your responsability that the kids are thaught Islam in the right way.

Again, you know this but to remind you.

What your mother does to you on the street is extremely embarrasing :0

Aldough,it's really nice tha tyou keep a close relationship to your mother. May Allah,spw, strenghten your mother,family,you, and your mate.

Remember that you're just a passanger as well, the clothes you wear will be worn out, the food you eat goes down your toilet, your body will become dust...
I hope that you keep this in mind for ever so that dunya doesn't trick you.

Sorry If I'm being weird.
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AnonymousPoster
09-02-2009, 01:13 AM
^ I know lol but my mum's met her and I've spoken to her aunty they both give me good character references. I'll meet her soon and decide :statisfie
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Rasema
09-02-2009, 01:17 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
^ I know lol but my mum's met her and I've spoken to her aunty they both give me good character references. I'll meet her soon and decide :statisfie
Ask her questions about Islam, that way you can, in some way, determine if she is a practicing and devoted trully.

Wish you the best:statisfie
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AnonymousPoster
09-02-2009, 01:18 AM
Help me lol what kind of questions??
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-02-2009, 01:31 AM
Choosing The Desired Wife
By: Ibrahim Abu Khalid

http://abdurrahman.org/

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, the Merciful, the Hearer of supplications, and peace and blessings upon our beloved and humble prophet Muhammad,and upon his family and companions.

When marriage is spoken of during these "modern" times, Muslims become horrified, conjuring images of an arranged marriage, trying to find that "perfect" companion, how much of a financial burden it will become, and so on. The reality is that Islam came to solve these problems, not exacerbate them, yet unfortunately we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for a man rather than a delightful experience.

When living in a free, perverted and corrupt Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many temptations and tests, as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome. He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, on the media, and at work. And so the wisdom of the Prophet (s.a.w) echoes on, when he said: "O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances), and preserves one from immorality..."

When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is.

As Muslims, we believe that Allah wants the best for us, and that His Prophet (s.a.w) illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advise of our own Creator, and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful.

WHO TO MARRY

Islam is clear on the kind of wife you should be seeking. The Prophet (s.a.w) said: "A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we are seeking, for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage is bound to fall into misery.

True, beauty and charm is hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religiousness. Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway. In another hadith, the Prophet (s.a.w) said: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many times by Rasulallah (s.a.w), who himself, when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned a pious woman. Once the following ayah was revealed: "They who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in the way of Allah, unto them give tidings of a painful doom. On that day when it will (all) be heated in the fire of Jahannam, and their foreheads and flanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said to them): 'Here is what you hoarded for yourselves, now taste of what you used to hoard' "[al-Taubah: 34-35]. Umar (r.a.a) has been quoted to say that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached the Prophet (s.a.w), submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. Rasulallah (s.a.w) replied that the best thing to be treasured is the devoted wife who causes pleasure when seen, obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husbands property when he is away. Abu Bakr once asked Rasulallah (s.a.w) what was the best thing to be treasured, and he (s.a.w) replied: "the tongue in remembrance of Allah, the heart filled with thanks to Allah, and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds". Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allah! How can a man live unhappily with such a person.

QUALITIES OF THE PIOUS WOMAN

Alright, you say, you've convinced me, but what actually makes her a pious woman? The answer is simple: Allah himself has described those qualities most loved by Him in the Qur'an, and in the ahadith there are numerous accounts of the virtuous attributes of a pious woman.

The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities. The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities. "And women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity"[s.24;v.26]

"Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard"[s.4;v.34]

"It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you, who submit (Muslims), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for faith) and fast..."[s.66;v.5].

And then, in surah Ahzab, is a full list of those qualities loved by Allah, qualities which by the way should be evident in both males and females. So, my dear brother, choose her for the following attributes:

A Muslim woman

A believing woman

A devout woman

A true woman

A woman who is patient and constant

A woman who humbles herself

A woman who gives charity

A woman who fasts and denies herself

A woman who guards her chastity

A woman who engages much in Allah's praise.

Among the four known perfect women was Maryam. She was loved by Allah because of her religious qualities: "O Maryam! Worship your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow down"[s.3;v.43]. Another was the wife of Pharaoh: "And Allah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: 'O my Lord, build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden' "[s.66;v.11].

The Prophet (s.a.w) loved his wives because of their religious qualities. Aisha once related the fine qualities of Zainab: "(Zainab) was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of Allah's Messenger (s.a.w), and I have never seen a woman more advanced in religious piety than Zainab, more God-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood, more generous and having more sense of self-sacrifice in practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus more closer to Allah, the Exalted, than her." Ahh, you think, but you'll never find such a woman! Well, if that was true, Allah would not have described her in the first place, and furthermore those qualities were emanating from the women described above. Islam deals with reality, not fiction. Sure, the perfect woman doesn't exist, yet "if you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good"[s.4;v.19]. Remember also that you are not perfect either.

KNOWING WHO SHE IS

To find that pious woman, there are two steps to be taken, and that firstone relies on your personal observation. In surah Nisaa, Allah asks the believing women that they should "lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments," and also that they "should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments"[s.24;v.31]. If you notice a woman acting modestly, being not too obvious through her actions (by lowering her voice when around men), one who attempts to hide her attractions (which includes her external beauty as well as her internal charms), then you know she has some of those precious qualities. When you see a woman unashamedly flirting, unconcerned about her revealing clothes, and freely converses with males- keep far, far away. I'm sure when you get married you want your wife to devote her love to you, not to twenty other "just good friends".

Through simple observation, you can get a glimpse of her nature; for example, the way she stands when conversing, how she maintains eye-contact, her clothes, where she spends her time etc. Look for her strong points, and don't stress on her weak ones.

Yet, after all this, we still have to come to the most important topic. You can look all you want at her, set a private investigator to track her movements, read her diaries (all of which I consider extreme and unIslamic), yet, my dear brother, no-one knows her heart and intentions, no-one knows whether she will turn sour or more religious, or whether you are suitable for each other, except for Allah.

TRUST IN ALLAH

We are choosing our wife for her permanent values; namely her religious devotions, moral integrity, character etc. But believe me, if we try ourselves to combine a marriage, we are almost sure to fail, because we have no knowledge.

Allah loves a servant when he puts his trust in Him. When we do so, it is illustrating how we rely upon Him for help, and proving our sincerity to Him, establishing that we recognise His infinite knowledge and wisdom.

Islam is likened to being as a house, and in my estimation nothing cements that house together as well as putting our trust in Allah.

It is related on the authority of Jabir ibn 'Abdullah that the Prophet (s.a.w) used to teach his companions to seek, through a special du'a (known as an istikharah), the guidance of Allah in all matters which affected them. Rasulallah (s.a.w) said: "When you are confused about what you should do in a certain situation, then pray two rak'at of nafl salaat and read the following du'a (du'a of istikharah)."


I am surprised at the criticisms thrown at this du'a, and of its negligence. We are humans, powerless in this sphere of life, knowledgeable only enough to survive. So why shouldn't we turn to Allah and seek His perfect help whenever we require it? Allah responds to the call of His servant when he asks for guidance, and we are after all seeking to do something in order to please Him.

Many wrong notions exist concerning istikharah. Many Muslims will pray, read the du'a, and run to bed expecting to see a dream showing them their future wife, what her favourite colour is, and some other weird fantasy. That is not the purpose of this salaat.

The results of an istikharah can take many forms. Basically, you go by your feelings, whether you now feel more favourable or not. Also, you may notice events have changed, either for or against you. Finally, as a wonderful gift from Allah, you may be blessed with a dream. Note that you must follow the results of an istikharah, because not doing so is tantamount to rejecting Allah's guidance once you've asked for it. Also, you should firstly clear your mind, not have your mind already decided, and then afterwards follow the results willingly.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once sent Zainab a proposal of marriage. She refused to accept the proposal straight away, expressing her intention to refer the matter to Allah: "I do not do anything until I solicit the will of my Lord." Allah, the Responsive, answered her plea for help and revealed an ayah approving of the marriage. We may seem shocked at her refusal to accept a proposal from what is the best husband any woman can have, yet she was just recognising that it is Allah who knows how successful such a marriage will be, and as a sign of appreciation, that reply is now preserved in our Holy Book: al Qur'an.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once said to Aisha: "I saw you in a dream for three nights when an angel brought you to me in a silk cloth and he said: 'Here is your wife', and when I removed (the cloth) from your face, lo, it was yourself, so I said: 'if this is from Allah, let Him carry it out' ".

Marriage is a serious step, and requires the right attitude. If marriage completes half our faith, shouldn't that half be the best half? A woman married for the wrong reasons can only weaken the Muslim household. Consider that she will be your life-long companion, the rearer of your children. Don't marry her for her worldly wealth, but for her wealth in Islamic wisdom and knowledge. Her status in this life is but illusionary, so choose her for her status in the sight of Allah. Beauty is but superficial, but the beauty of Iman is transcendent.
When asking Allah for a wife, call upon Him by His beautiful names, as He has commanded us: "For Allah are certain and dignified names: therefore call upon Him by them"[s.7;v.189]. Ask for a companion who is devout, pious, patient and so on. Be among those who say: "Our Lord, may our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous"[al-Furqan,74].

I cannot provide a better conclusion than saying that you must put your trust in Allah. You must have trust in His concern for us, and His ability to help us. Allah says: "Put your trust in Allah, for Allah loves those who put their trust in Him"[s.3;v.159].

May Allah help us in our sincere efforts in following His commandments and the way of His beloved servant, and provide us with wives whom He loves. "When my servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me: let them also, with a will, listen to my call, and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way"[al-Baqarah,v.186].
JUST FOUND THIS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD READ
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-02-2009, 01:31 AM
bTW SORRY IF IT IS too long could have put link pls forgive me
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-02-2009, 01:34 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Help me lol what kind of questions??
Akhi dont worry read the article that is above inshallah put ur trust in Allah it isnt has hard as we think it is before we are there once u are there and her is there and her wali it will just come inshallah
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cat eyes
09-02-2009, 01:40 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umar^111
bTW SORRY IF IT IS too long could have put link pls forgive me
That was so good of you 2write that much of a long post brother :)
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-02-2009, 01:42 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
That was so good of you 2write that much of a long post brother :)
LOL NO sis i copied and pasted
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AnonymousPoster
09-02-2009, 01:45 AM
[QUOTE=Umar^111;1214279]Akhi dont worry read the article that is above inshallah put ur trust in Allah it isnt has hard as we think it is before we are there once u are there and her is there and her wali it will just come inshallah[/QUOTE

inshallah thanks for post, I heard some 1 say once

"love doesn't come before or outside marriage, love comes once you're married"

you don't marry them cos you love them, you marry them cos of their qualities and then you love them after you've married them :)
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-02-2009, 01:48 AM
[QUOTE=AnonymousGender;1214286]
format_quote Originally Posted by Umar^111
Akhi dont worry read the article that is above inshallah put ur trust in Allah it isnt has hard as we think it is before we are there once u are there and her is there and her wali it will just come inshallah[/QUOTE

inshallah thanks for post, I heard some 1 say once

"love doesn't come before or outside marriage, love comes once you're married"

you don't marry them cos you love them, you marry them cos of their qualities and then you love them after you've married them :)
yea akhi this was a wise person who said so
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cat eyes
09-02-2009, 01:57 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umar^111
LOL NO sis i copied and pasted
Hahaha you know i was thinking it was so good how u wrote haha
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crayon
09-02-2009, 05:53 AM
Just a word of advice- I didn't read through the entire thread in much detail, but if you do end up seeing her just from her picture, keep in mind that many people look very different in pictures than they do in real life. Some may be photogenic, others may not, so that's also something to consider.
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AnonymousPoster
09-02-2009, 06:46 AM
^ Yeah, I have that in mind, I just wanted the picture to give me an idea. I myself look horrendous in pictures so I definitely wouldn't base my decision %100 on that.
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syilla
09-02-2009, 07:01 AM
akhee...does the family refuse to give the picture?
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AnonymousPoster
09-02-2009, 07:02 AM
No the aunty said she'll get some, but I'm jus worried they may have not liked the fact that I asked.
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syilla
09-02-2009, 07:05 AM
^^^nothing to worry about... probably she has already seen your picture herself :D
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Najm
09-02-2009, 05:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
Just a word of advice- I didn't read through the entire thread in much detail, but if you do end up seeing her just from her picture, keep in mind that many people look very different in pictures than they do in real life. Some may be photogenic, others may not, so that's also something to consider.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Whats photogenic? :hiding:

FiAmaaniAllah
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crayon
09-02-2009, 05:54 PM
"A photogenic subject (generally a person), is a subject that usually appears physically attractive or striking in photographs."
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Najm
09-02-2009, 06:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
"A photogenic subject (generally a person), is a subject that usually appears physically attractive or striking in photographs."

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Oh i See!! Doesnt that depend on how one pose's etc. And like depending on the camera and photograph?

Nevertheless one should not "just" see a picture and reject, rather see the person and find the human quality.

FiAmaaniAllah
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AnonymousPoster
09-03-2009, 12:44 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
If she hasn't, it might be a good idea to actually send one off. Make it fair.

Here's a thread where people have posted questions they'd ask potentials..
Thanks I bookmarked it ;D
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