I can't find happiness. How to die without sin?

How do I make a suicide that is not sinful. I can't find happiness. I hate that I was even created. I feel as if everything I like to do, is forbidden in Islam.

I used to have ambitions, I used to be happy. I wanted to be an artist, but I found out that the forms of art I like is forbidden in Islam. I dont' know what to do in life anymore. Now I'm scared that another certain "hobby" of mine is forbidden as well. I do not want to say what this certain hobby is, because I'm scared that people might say that it's forbidden.

The hobby is not premarital sex or anything of that sort.

It's a different hobby that's made my life so happy. I don't know if it's forbidden or not. If it's forbidden, then I don't think I can ever be happy in life. Why doesn't Allah just forbid "happiness" in our religion? I wish I was never created.

And please don't tell me that there are many other things to do in life, because I don't care. If this "certain" hobby is forbidden, I just want to end life with out making it sinful.

sob7an Allah..

I look left and right and I see suffering.. horrible, hunger disease, death, famine, despair

such that can't even be expressed in words, one sis here just lost her mother, a slow painful death, then we see this almost everyday





and you want to die because you can't Chanel your 'hobby' into an acceptable practice?

we spend most of our time being dead.. life is a chance given you and it is the exception.. I'd think long and hard of how I am wasting it..

la 7wala wla qiwta illa billah!

Edit: ^ jazakAllah for that Skye sis

- As a mother myself, your post has made me wonder how your mother, who carried you for nine months, took pain after pain, night after night of lost sleep to raise you, would feel hearing your death-wish? Like most mothers, she's probably under the impression that the son she adores so much would care for when she gets old? But she has no idea this son wants his mother to see his dead face and cry in pain for the rest of her life.

I also wonder how people dying of disease, war and poverty would feel hearing you asking for death. I'm sure they'd give anything to stay alive, even if it meant being without a certain part of their body, even with deformities - simply because life is a gift from our Creator and once it's gone, it's gone forever. And you, with your health and blessings wanting to die because everything you want to do seems to be forbidden? I find it hard to digest.

Your life is a trust from Allah. Please hold on to it before you get to the point where you want to live but find you don't have long.

First of all be grateful for everything Allah has given you. He has given us life, food, oxygen, shelter, etc. Everything we get is from Him. Then shouldn't we spend our time in activities that He has allowed/is pleased with? If you work for someone and he is paying you, will you be asking why you're not allowed to do this hobby or that during work time?

Then when God is giving you everything you need, should you be asking why you can't do something He hasn't allowed?

Second, One should never want to live just for themselves. Always want to live for others, think of others, care for others. That gives life meaning and gives a person the sort of happiness they can never feel in any other way. I've seen really rich ppl spend thousands on themselves and then go home feeling like something's missing. Their heart aches and they try to remove the aching by spending more money on useless stuff or watching tv or listening to music or some other hobby, but no matter what they do, the restlessness doesn't go away. Then they might turn to tranquilizers, not knowing that their cure lies in philanthropic activities, that volunteering to care for someone sick or giving money, food, or clothes to charity give them fulfillment.

If you want true happiness and inner peace those are the things you should do, not waste time on haraam hobbies. You should find out if your new hobby is halal or haraam and if it's halal then give it a bit of your time, but first volunteer for some charitable activities, I assure you it will make you so happy you will want to spend all your time doing those and will feel you haven't got enough time for anything else.

Also while studying art i saw that so many artists became depressed and some even ended up suicide, like Van Gogh. It may be because of drawing humans, animals, etc. Art just isn't very fulfilling. So best to avoid it lest you too end up depressed, suicidal, etc.

Things may be forbidden because this world is just a test that we have to go through. If it is a test, then there is some hardship. Find happiness in being a better Muslim, know your purpose here and work towards 'that' goal (hereafter) InshaAllah.

well said sisters.. there are many forms of art which are acceptable..
limiting yourself to just one form or else death, seems strange to me, especially for an artist who by virtue of their craft are creative, imaginative and poetic..

an 'okeefe



a Monet



a Picasso



a kandnski



A Rothko



a Pollock



a Vermeer




a whistler




a van Gogh



a Hokusai



Islamic architecture




I purposely put more western then Islamic here to make a point and I minored in art history in (undergrad) if you are passionate about something, you can make it not just lawful but beautiful and lucrative.. it is really your choice...

just like it is your choice to assess whether it is worth it, to end your life over something as trivial as putting obscene or unlawful images in your art..

and Allah swt knows best

the problem these days is that we think everything is haram because all the haram is opened is widespread and readily available in front of us so everyone thinks it's perfectly normal.

why dont you look at all the things that are permissible to do? trust me, there is plenty out there...

what is the other thing you like that youre not sure is forbidden or not?

I had a hobby (which I was on my way towards turning into a career) of making movies. It had been my passion for nearly a decade before I converted to Islam. Once I became Muslim, I knew that this hobby of mine was not congruent with Islam. I have tried many times since then (almost 2 years since I gave it up) to think of a way in which I can make movies in a halal manner. Maybe one day I'll pursue it again, but it's a hobby that requires a lot of money and time, neither of which I have right now with two babies on the way (insha'Allah).

I gave it up for the sake of Allah, and in return I've found other things in my life that are better and more beneficial. It was tough at first, but now I don't really look back.

When you give something up for the sake of Allah, He replaces it with something better.

Keep in mind, however, as sister Skye mentioned above, that there are sometimes halal alternatives to many of the haram hobbies out there. You may not have to give something up completely, but rather try to channel that energy into something beneficial, especially if it can benefit the ummah in some way.

^^ great advice!
and congrats on the babies!

why don't you take up a hobby like travelling or something?see this beautiful World Allah created. inshallaah im hoping to go to egypt this year. the prophet mohammad pbuh said islam is easy so why are you making it hard? to be honest with you i cannot not think of any hobby which might be haraam. i mean if your talking about gambling or drinking these are not hobbies, these are addictions which you can get help for. listening to music is also a type of addiction which you can find other things to replace it trust me you just need the will. i found it quite funny when you said Allah should take away happiness, do you socialize well? get a social life, meet people. your mind will stop thinking about depressing stuff. when you are alone you will think all these stupid things

Gossamer skye said:

.. one sis here just lost her mother, a slow painful death,

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May Allah bless her with paradise , Ameen.


To the OP , our sisters and brothers gave u some real nice advices ; pl. listen to them and don't be ungrateful to your Creator.

May I ask what is your hobby that is so important to you than your life hereafter ?

everything you are going through is a test from allah.... do not give in to it. I know its hard sometimes, but you have pull through it.

Thought I'd add this to the thread, about a brother on board who is also an artist..
if for nothing else, for us to enjoy his art...

http://www.islamicboard.com/creative-writing-art/50144-art-thread-3.html

Asif Intesar said:

How do I make a suicide that is not sinful.

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You can't and you know that. Even if it were not as etched in stone by ethics, common sense, and the rule of not dying a coward rather than bravely facing your problems, you'd be doing the most foolish thing possible if you took any risk at all of bringing on your own ****ation. The next time you have thoughts of suicide, try to imagine what hell will be like. Imagine what your loved ones would think, how they would feel, how cruel it would be to them. Imagine what heavenly delights await you if you persist for just a few more mortal years until your natural death. Even a longer than natural lifetime is mathematically equivalent to less than an instant compared with eternity and its bliss. We all have persistent sinful habits but God will still forgive us. His capacity for forgiveness for those who are penitent is boundless. But suicide He will not abide. Be warned. God made you for a reason. A being as perfect and omnsicient as Him would have had a good reason for wanting you to be alive, wouldn't you say? He'll decide when you'll die because He knows best. How ungrateful would you be to waste the best gift He ever gave you!

The thing is, what you need to do in this situation (my father, one of the best psychiatrists in the world tells me), is not talk to us but to a professional. Will you do that, as a favor to all of us and to the loved ones you might otherwise scar for life? I'll even try (God willing) to get my dad to come on here and talk to you if you'd like. Be brave. We're with you and we'll do all we need to.

^^^^^^^ Brilliant post ..Jazaka Allah khyran.
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Please remember your life is a gift from Allah(swt) After hardship will come ease. You are definitely in our duas. After hardship will come ease inshaAllah