/* */

PDA

View Full Version : Untitled Poetry, Need Critiqued!



Beardo
09-24-2009, 03:05 AM
Please, like last time, do advise!

-----------

He cried, “Oh the voices I hear!
No longer is it mere,”
Surrendering his inner self, he was lured into the stray path,
Where sins can no longer be calculated through simple math,

And he imagines the scale before his eyes,
The dark day when all is revealed, all truth and all lies,
And his legs shake with concern and fear,
For He is the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, and the All-Seer,

The inner voice then advises “But before the sun rises not from the West,
The doors remain open, and humanity remains as blessed,
However, remember, this world is for the believer a nest,
For soon here no longer shall you rest.”

The man sat down to ponder and think,
Between him and the truth, where is the link?
With all shame and regret,
His newly founded beard with tears did he wet,

He turned to the seven heavens and the seven skies,
And lifted his sorrowful and remorseful eyes,
Then did he sincerely pray and beg to his Lord,
“Do not leave me stranded, on Paradise take me aboard,

For You are the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful,
And I, despite being so deceitful and disdainful,
Humbly request Your condonation and pardon on the extreme measures,
Lest it not increase nor decrease your infinite treasures.”

Immediately had his Lord not forgiven,
He would have been forever forsaken,
But he had firm belief,
That to every trial, there will come a caressing hand and an everlasting relief.

----------

And here's another one:

Last Breath

Remember death,
For it is the last breath,
When the grave has been bulldozed,
When all doors are closed,

When your body has decomposed,
By then, all deeds are exposed,
And your fate is disclosed,
It is the reality that you opposed,

This life has not been forced or imposed,
It is a test that is a fact, not supposed.

=---------------------------=
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Beardo
09-26-2009, 02:05 AM
C'mon people. Is it really that bad?
Reply

Tony
09-26-2009, 08:27 AM
Brother you have the makings of a great poet
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-17-2010, 01:46 AM
  2. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10-21-2008, 02:33 AM
  3. Replies: 13
    Last Post: 10-20-2008, 08:39 PM
  4. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-20-2006, 10:18 PM
  5. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-27-2005, 04:08 AM
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!