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View Full Version : Concerned about male cousin - is he lost?



naira_nahid
09-26-2009, 12:14 AM
my cousin is from Lahore, and he left to go to an elite school in the US. he is now working in the financial industry there. we speak on the phone often, and i am scared that he has changed. he drinks alcohol, he smokes, he takes illegal drugs, he also fornicates with non-muslim girls (casually) and he frequents strip clubs with his non-muslim male roommates. i am considering not communicating often anymore, but whenever i say i am disappointed in him, he sounds very sad and promises to change. he fasted for Ramadan and i think he had stopped drinking, but i know he still smokes/does drugs and he often tells me about good-looking American women he sees at the gymnasium.

i also know his father and his mother/sister went to visit him, and he hid everything from them. he made the housekeeper hide the alcohol, the condoms, the drugs, magazines, etc. i do not mean to judge him, but why is he behaving this way? he used to be very good and respectful, his family is very famous in Lahore. imsad
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Ramadhan
09-26-2009, 01:25 PM
your cousin's story is unfortunately a familiar one to me.
because he's already an independent adult and live away from you, I am afraid that the best thing you can do is make frequent dua for him, asking Allah to give your cousin hidayah.
You can also try to keep talking with him about deen as often as you could to remind him that he's getting away from Islamic fold.
Does he have any other siblings who can talk with him?
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happy
09-26-2009, 01:45 PM
"i am considering not communicating often anymore." this won't solve anything and we were suppose to tie the relationship of the family. Talk to him and tell him Allah is the most merciful,most kind and tell him how much Allah loves those who turn in repentance and try to advice.
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Caller الداعي
09-26-2009, 01:55 PM
well unfortunatly his story is not unique !! the best thing would be to make dua for him
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