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noorseeker
10-19-2009, 07:36 AM
Salam people , im baaak lol.

My thinking is all screwed up, Ive mistaken being humble , with putting my self down all the time, thinking im not good enough, saying yes all the time.

Can any one advise me on how to get the middle ground.

JazakAllah khayran in advance.
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Asim Khan
10-19-2009, 12:27 PM
Assalam-o-aliekum brother,

Well at least you're better off than thinking (wrongly) "I (myself) am very important to the (whole) ummah." ^.^

I find that I currently need to be improving with regard to:

4:142. [...] When they stand up to worship they perform it languidly [...]

and to be cautious with regard to:

23:76. And indeed We seized them with punishment, but they humbled not themselves to their Lord [...]

:sl:
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Muslim Woman
10-19-2009, 12:39 PM
:wa:

Originally Posted by nightstar
Salam people , im baaak lol.
.

Welcome back bro :statisfie
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alcurad
10-19-2009, 01:55 PM
try saying no, and disagreeing more :-
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noorseeker
10-19-2009, 02:02 PM
I really want to get confident, but the fear of gettin arrogant stops me.

i need the balance, my fears stop me doing anything, so i just need to fight these thoughts
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Ansariyah
10-19-2009, 10:04 PM
We can't always keep the peace, people cant read minds if u want to say no just say no.

Sometimes we think if we say no we're not nice (I tend to think the same) but thats not true. This is how I find peace in saying no esp if I worry I might hurt the persons feelings, (I say no but follow it wit a sorry) lol.

I have a lil incident happen that kinda relates to this thread. I was in a grocery store today, well this lovely old lady thought she can ask me to read all the ingredient in her 40 or things she had in her shoppin trolley..one by one. As I read one thing at a time, handed it bak she wud say 'pls can u read anader one tell mee wat in this too'.

When I did about 10, I told her I'm sorry I dont work here n that she should ask someone (it was so hard to say no), then she went on to say..pleasa bring soemone for mi' lol

I had to find someone who works there to read the rest of the stuff I dunno what she was really after, perhaps a certain ingredient she was making sure wasnt in her food.

The best way to start learning to say no is to say it nicely, this way u dont feel bad but u know u did the right thing.:sunny:

May ALlah grant u confidence ameen.
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Snowflake
10-20-2009, 09:51 AM
Can any one advise me on how to get the middle ground
:sl: Umm.. ask yourself whether this person really needs what they are asking of you. If you know they are taking the biscuit then excuse yourself. If you know they genuinely need help then do it for the sake of Allah.

Maybe you do things for people who can do it themselves because you don't want them to think bad of you. Who cares? Let them think what they want. Chances are they won't appreciate it anyway.

:wa:
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