Working Mothers ‘Damage Their Child’s Health’

[imam bukhari]

Working Mothers ‘Damage Their Child’s Health’

Working mothers are harming their children’s long-term development by sending them to nursery from an early age, a leading author said yesterday.

Michael Morpurgo, the former children’s laureate, sparked controversy by saying that it was “utterly extraordinary” that half of mothers with children under five had jobs outside the home!

He said lack of contact between children and parents was directly to blame for rising levels of mental health problems, sleep disorders and anorexia in young people.

Mr Morpurgo, recently awarded an OBE for services to literature, said:

“It is utterly extraordinary now how many children grow up without their mothers around them. You have got 50 per cent of mothers these days of children under five who are employed outside the home. Well, you are cutting off something there, whether you like it or not, and it may be an uncomfortable thing to recognise.”

He told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme that sending children to school at four or five was

“We pack our children off to care groups or even to school, but many countries in Europe do not send their children until they are seven,” he said. “They live in the bosom of their family. That is where they are nurtured – within the nest. That is where they can grow their wings, they can learn to fly.” He added: “I don’t think it is an accident that one in 10 of our children is suffering from mental health problems, from sleep disorders, from eating disorders and things like that.”

In October, an eminent group of child care experts raised concerns about the long-term effect of placing children in inadequate day nurseries. In a letter to The Daily Telegraph, they said that separating children from their mothers risked “storing up behavioural difficulties“.

Last year, research by Professor Michael Lamb, of Cambridge University, found that nurseries caused distress to young children. He found that levels of the stress hormone cortisol doubled in youngsters during the first nine days of child care without their mothers present and continued to be much higher among children five months after starting nursery compared with those who stayed at home.

[Rabi'ya]

:sl:

interesting. I always wonder why people are so against childcare. Haven't people, for generations, sent their children to live with wet nurses or "childminders" nannies or the like? and now they are saying there are problems? and against whom are they comparing it?

[imam bukhari]

*bump*
*bump*

[Rabi'ya]

:sl:

Once again I seem the only one interested in this article. I am still convinced that working parents(mothers and fathers) provide a better upbringing for their chlidren.

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[CosmicPathos]

:sl:

Once again I seem the only one interested in this article. I am still convinced that working parents(mothers and fathers) provide a better upbringing for their chlidren.

by leaving the kids at nanny's place or daycare right?

[جوري]

by leaving the kids at nanny's place or daycare right?

actually many leave their kids with the grandparents or aunts or other family members.. I personally recommend schools over nurseries as early as 2 like the international pre-schools which provide excellent education and foster social skills in children early on. I don't know what is more damaging to a child's health, living in ignorance and poverty or having educated parents who will provide the basics?.. also how well adjusted will the child grow up when the father dies or injured or can't make ends meet on one salary or decides to divorce the mother and the mother can't fend for herself? you can't exactly go back to the working force after 5 years of being idle and life is far from the idyllic utopia that many seem to think should exist ..

If a mother wishes to stay at home kudos.. if she wishes to work then also kudos.. she is taking on more responsibility.

[CosmicPathos]

actually many leave their kids with the grandparents or aunts or other family members.. I personally recommend schools over nurseries as early as 2 like the international pre-schools which provide excellent education and foster social skills in children early on. I don't know what is more damaging to a child's health, living in ignorance and poverty or having educated parents who will provide the basics?.. also how well adjusted will the child grow up when the father dies or injured or can't make ends meet on one salary or decides to divorce the mother and the mother can't fend for herself? you can't exactly go back to the working force after 5 years of being idle and life is far from the idyllic utopia that many seem to think should exist ..

If a mother wishes to stay at home kudos.. if she wishes to work then also kudos.. she is taking on more responsibility.

I understand what you are saying. So if she is taking on more responsibility than what Islam has prescribed for her, and if undiagnosed neglect starts appearing in the Islamic responsibility that she is supposed to undertake i.e. upbringing of a child's morals, values and Islamic teaching because lets say she has to spend nights at the hospital reading xray films so that she can earn in some money for that child's very college education in future then who is at fault? We should blame the mother or unfortunate circumstances that Allah had willed for the child? I know of many full time working female doctors, whose husbands also have a full time job, and their kids running away from home to friend's house at 14 just cuz parents had too much mney to spend on the child but too little time to instill in the values.

[جوري]

I understand what you are saying. So if she is taking on more responsibility, and if undiagnosed neglect starts appearing in the upbringing of a child because lets say she has to spend nights at the hospital reading xray films so that she can earn in some money for that child's very college education in future then who is at fault? We should blame the mother or unfortunate circumstances that Allah had willed for the child? I know of many full time working female doctors, whose husbands also have a full time job, and their kids running away from home at 18 just cuz parents had too much mney to spend on the child but too little time to instill in the values.

I had two working parents and turned out alright.. I also know many who had a full time parent at home and turned out completely rotten.. perhaps it has nothing to do with the parents and everything to do with the nature of the individual?.. after all even the prophet PBUH while in the midst of his people had two uncles in hell.. Noah couldn't convince his son nor Ibrahim his father.. so who is really to blame? you can only offer your best and pray to Allah swt that they'll turn out alright... but it isn't a guarantee that they will one way or the other

:w:

[purple]

I am so so so sick of Muslims (both men and women) applying one blanket rule to women. Women are NOT a homogeneous group. Once, we recognise this, we can truly move on to better world.

[CosmicPathos]

I had two working parents and turned out alright.. I also know many who had a full time parent at home and turned out completely rotten.. perhaps it has nothing to do with the parents and everything to do with the nature of the individual?.. after all even the prophet PBUH while in the midst of his people had two uncles in hell.. Noah couldn't convince his son nor Ibrahim his father.. so who is really to blame? you can only offer your best and pray to Allah swt that they'll turn out alright... but it isn't a guarantee that they will one way or the other

:w:

true.

I guess then what Islam requires of males and females in regards to their jobs in public sphere remains undefined, as many other things. Perhaps its one of those things which Islam did not intend to address, just like science or other secular things.

wsalam.

[transition?]

Housewives is probably the easiest way for a woman to attain Jannah. The time spent as a wife and mother with family has most blessings and reward for a muslimah. So much so, it's encouraged in Islam.

It's really about how our nonMuslim societies have no balance in their way of life. Many careers are not compatible with a family life unfortunately. Also, it matters really, how well the person manages all her duties. Family is a major institution in the Muslim life. In fact, if done right with the ultimate faith in Allah (swt) and His Commands, each family makes a entire generation to uphold the commands of Allah (swt). It's the passing of the greatest opportunity, to earn the status of the part of the best Ummah.
It's all about priorities and sacrifice =), so Allah (swt) can give us victory as a generation.

[GuestFellow]

:sl:

There is an element truth in that article. Some women put their careers first and their children second which could be unintentional.

Factors such as the type of work the women does, the amount of hours involved and the amount of time she spends with her children should be considered. The type of nursery the child attends, the environment the child is raised in and whether there is more than one child should also be considered.

The behaviour and the gender of the child should be taken into consideration. Some children require more attention than others...some children are more vulnerable if they have a disability.

I'm purely speculating. I think a women's main priority is to raise their children and career should come second.

[PouringRain]

I agree with guestfellow that there are many factors to consider. It is certainly not a one size fits all shoe. I am in the camp that it is best for the children if the mother is home, but I certainly do not have my head stuck in the sand about it. There are many mothers these days who stay home and are horrible parents. Their children would be better off in a nursery program. There are very good child development programs, and there are quite bad ones. There are also women out there who must work due to necessity. As a single mother, I fall into that category. :) But I am a huge supporter of stay at home mothers and homeschooling for children. I have done both in the past. (I also recognize that not all children do well with homeschooling. Nor are all parents good for homeschooling.)

Certainly, there are many factors to consider.

And how are my children? God has blessed me with absolutely wonderful children! :)

[Ummu Sufyaan]

interesting. I always wonder why people are so against childcare.Haven't people, for generations, sent their children to live with wet nurses or "childminders" nannies or the like?[...]

i keep wondering the same thing :hmm:

[tigerkhan]

today i was talking with my married brother. we were discussing whether his son should join mudrassa or not ? i said in my opinion the best mudrassa is home and best teacher is mother.
actually i was saying the most important responsibility of mother is to educated their children. and wallah now a days i blv one big mishap with this umma is lack of educational system in their homes (i am not talking of science or worldly education, but i mean islamic education by which one learn eman, ahlaaq and all)
now to the qst bv OP, i blv if her main duty (as mentioned above) is not disturbed, and her financially position is weak , she can do job and i blv that dont destroy her children healths or education. however if she is doing job with much work load then obviously her children suffer, so its depends ion many circumstances as mentioned by Guest Fellow Pouring Rain.

also one more thing come into my mind while this discussions. actually every child when he came to world took his destiny with him. so ALLAH SWT knows he is saeed or shaqee. so if someone destiny is blessed one, he will be blessed regardless of his parent attitude toward his education. i mean to say parents are only responsible for good education of their children. and hidayyat is in hand of Allah SWT. Atleast if we are parents we should cope with our responsibility in good way. there is tooooo much need to motivate parents to take acre of this. i am seeing much much lack of tarbiyaat and good islamic education of new generation by the parents ( esp in pakistan).

[Rabi'ya]

From personal experience. I know 2 children who are round about the same age. One was sent to childcare from the age of 1 and the mother worked/studied. The other was kept at home with his mother until the age of 3 when he started to go to school part time. the first kid has well rounded social skills, its more advanced in terms of speaking, reading, listening and writing. The second kid at the age of 3 and half can still barely talk. has no manners no social skills etc

I have come to the opinion that it doesnt matter whether the mother/father stays at home or not. It completely depends on the attitude of the parents. Children are but a mirror image of the parents. If you see something good in ur child then u can believe that you as a parent has instilled that. similarly if some bad behaviour exhibits itself then it is a reflection of your own behaviour.

Didnt our beloved Prophet spend time as a young child with a wet nurse.....? As well as other children of that time?

[Muhaba]

i think it has to do with the nurseries and not the fact that the mother isn't there. it may be that nursuries have lots of children to one caretaker and so the kids feed neglected because they can't get adequete attention. on the other hand if there is a babysitter who is caring and loving and takes care of just a few children at a time, then the result might not be the same. additionally, it depens\ds on the caretaker. sme may be only doing the job for money and find the kids an annoyance. if they don't treat children well then that would affect the child's mind.

[sherz_umr]

i luvd the fact tht my mother nevr went for work and stayd at home2 take care of us..but will i do the same? No.
I think most women prefr to tlk to female salewoman in lingerie stores, prefr female tailors to measure and stich our cloths,be taught by female teachers in school (iv had wonderful ma'ams), go to a female gynocologist, be taken care of female nurses etc.. I dont know what id do if all women stayed at home to take care of family :D

[CosmicPathos]

From personal experience. I know 2 children who are round about the same age. One was sent to childcare from the age of 1 and the mother worked/studied. The other was kept at home with his mother until the age of 3 when he started to go to school part time. the first kid has well rounded social skills, its more advanced in terms of speaking, reading, listening and writing. The second kid at the age of 3 and half can still barely talk. has no manners no social skills etc

I have come to the opinion that it doesnt matter whether the mother/father stays at home or not. It completely depends on the attitude of the parents. Children are but a mirror image of the parents. If you see something good in ur child then u can believe that you as a parent has instilled that. similarly if some bad behaviour exhibits itself then it is a reflection of your own behaviour.

Didnt our beloved Prophet spend time as a young child with a wet nurse.....? As well as other children of that time?

so by that logic if someone's child has tendencies to commit rape later in life, its a reflection of parents? Extreme example but something to think about.

[yas2010]

Salaam

Surely its about balance. As a working mother myself i have reduced my working week so that i could spend more time with my children, eventhough this meant an impact on the household income. The time with your children is a blessing. But on the other hand i know a muslim female surgeon and Mash'Allah she has been practising for 40years and has 3 grown up children. When talking to her she explains the struggles she went through to become a successful surgeon and the guilt of being away from her chidlren when she was establishing her career. Her children were looked after by her husband and extended family.

[LightLine]

this is interesting

[MesMorial]

Agreed. People treat their interpretations of Islam as the only true interpretation. The religion itself is not enough for them.

Peace.