Women and Kids

[Rabi'ya]

:sl:

If a woman is not naturally maternal and has no desire for children is there any wrong, islamically? Is it compulsory for a woman to have chlidren, if she's physicaly able to?

[Rabi'ya]

no replies anyone?

[Alpha Dude]

:sl:I can't say anything about the halal/haramness of choosing not to have kids if able, but the Prophet sallalahu alaihe wassalam has advised us to have many children so that the ummah can grow.

A man came to the Prophet (s) and said: I have found a woman of rank and beauty, but she does not give birth to children. Should I marry her? He said: No. He came again to him, but he prohibited him. He came to him third time, and he (the Prophet) said: Marry women who are loving and very prolific, for I shall outnumber the peoples by you.

[cat eyes]

:sl:I can't say anything about the halal/haramness of choosing not to have kids if able, but the Prophet sallalahu alaihe wassalam has advised us to have many children so that the ummah can grow.

and yet muslims laugh at me when i say i want 9childrenimsad

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[mammyluty]

:sl:

If a woman is not naturally maternal and has no desire for children is there any wrong, islamically? Is it compulsory for a woman to have chlidren, if she's physicaly able to?

the maternal instints come when a woman is pregnant till she gives birth,bt to be honest av no idea about the desire not to have kids.

bt i think theres is a diffrence she doenst av desire for kids bt does she want to have any?there r alot of women who pray day n nyt to ALLAH to give them kids.if u r healthy n able to bare children n dont have desire at all then shes gona end up lonely.picture ones life when one is 80 years old in carehome wth no one to help u or even visit u.and one with ten children and mayb 15 grandkids!

[Italianguy]

and yet muslims laugh at me when i say i want 9childrenimsad

I want 12! Kids are awesome

[syilla]

:salamext:

I used to wanting 12 kids :hiding:

[Italianguy]

:salamext:

I used to wanting 12 kids :hiding:

I have 14 uncles and 14 aunties. we like to have children in this Italian family.lol

[Rabi'ya]

Is there anything from Quraan and hadith that anyone knows about which specifically says that we must have kids. Whilst I undertsnad there is blessing in it and we shouldnt unnecessarily prevent kids from being born/conceived, is there anything wrong with a woman who simply does not want children. she may accept that if she is provided a child from Allah then so be it, but she does not go out of her way to have child after child. is there anything wrong with it?

[mammyluty]

sister to be honest bt this is my opinion though i think their is something wrong wth her how can u not want children?it culd be something she went through that makes her she cant desire having children.so lets say there s a hadith or evidence that shows having children is obligatory...is she going to have one or not?

[CuteStuff]

i know some women who do not want children - doesnt mean there is anything wrong with them.

[mammyluty]

i know some women who do not want children - doesnt mean there is anything wrong with them.

y would they not want kids?just a thought,i cant understand y?

[Rabi'ya]

:sl:

not understanding is not an excuse. there are some people who love having kids right and some who dont. its personal choice. some people are not into kids.

i just wanted to know the Islamic stance on this subject coz I know that it is encouraged to have big families, but what about people who don't want to , for whatever reason. Is there anything wrong with having only 1 child?

There are many reasons why one might choose to only have one child. Perhaps the parents are not into kids. perhaps for selfish reasons, such as they want to complete something before havign more kids, perhaps they would like to adopt a child and give a home to a chlid more needy.

if no-one knows off hand of any hadith or reference, then I'm guessing there is nothing wrong with it. I suppose different people have different feelings and Allah has made us all different.

[Alpha Dude]

if no-one knows off hand of any hadith or reference, then I'm guessing there is nothing wrong with it.

I think you should look harder, perhaps ask a scholar. Lack of replies on a forum are nothing to go by.

[Rabi'ya]

:sl:

if only i knew a scholar to ask.....

[Salahudeen]

and yet muslims laugh at me when i say i want 9childrenimsad

wow jus like me, I want my own little gang lol. (football team) Take them all to jihad inshallah ;D

haha jus kidding about jihad bit. ;D Prophet pbuh encouraged having lots of children he said "on the day of judgement I want to have the biggest ummah" and what's more pleasing than raise good Muslim's and seeing them flourish. I have big plans for my children inshallah hehe. lol.

[Cabdullahi]

:sl:

Perhaps the parents are not into kids.

Maybe they're into career building and the materialistic lifestyle...

i can't be arsed and im not into it are not excuses to not have child,in islam that is !

but if you're into the western system and style of living....you can do as you please but that usually results in destruction if one follows his desires and whims

[Rabi'ya]

:sl:

very true point brother. I am not sure this is the case however, do you think one shoudl take into account a persons state of mind. it can often be a struggle to change ones way of thinking.

situation
husband works, wife stays home. they are both content and have no chlidren. they are happy in each others company(for the time beign at least)they are both young. early 20s. they are not 100% against having children as they know the importance of kids, but the wife has no strong desire at the presnt to have children. This may or may not change in the future.

[Cabdullahi]

:sl:

very true point brother. I am not sure this is the case however, do you think one shoudl take into account a persons state of mind. it can often be a struggle to change ones way of thinking.

situation
husband works, wife stays home. they are both content and have no chlidren. they are happy in each others company(for the time beign at least)they are both young. early 20s. they are not 100% against having children as they know the importance of kids, but the wife has no strong desire at the presnt to have children. This may or may not change in the future.

no desire cannot just be no desire she must be scared of something?....for instance she might have the notion that if she has children she may become fat and old somehow which is not the case.

[Rabi'ya]

rofl. old and fat. just by having a kid. nice. anyway, thanks for the advice. do you think that all women who chose not to have kids are scared of something?

[cat eyes]

sister to be honest bt this is my opinion though i think their is something wrong wth her how can u not want children?it culd be something she went through that makes her she cant desire having children.so lets say there s a hadith or evidence that shows having children is obligatory...is she going to have one or not?

:sl:well sis i know many women and they are happy with just one kid we should try not to judge others inshaAllah only Allah knows whats in there heart :) you have to think about alot of things first one billion worries and excuses for our brothers and sisters before we even begin to think that there is something seriously wrong and bad in them. and remember only Allah knows whats in the heart. :wa:

[noorseeker]

Isnt it sinful to remail celibate, but not compulsory to have kids

[Esther462]

I would love to have one kid but not yet as I'm not married and not ready to get married and have kids.

[Rabi'ya]

Isnt it sinful to remail celibate, but wajib to have kids

not talking about celibacy here, just the choice as to whether to have kids or not. and whether theres anything wrong with chosing not to.i think a marriage, particularly where both parties involved are in their 20s, it would be hard to remain celibate.

[mammyluty]

:sl:well sis i know many women and they are happy with just one kid we should try not to judge others inshaAllah only Allah knows whats in there heart :) you have to think about alot of things first one billion worries and excuses for our brothers and sisters before we even begin to think that there is something seriously wrong and bad in them. and remember only Allah knows whats in the heart. :wa:

i wasnt judging her i meant i dont get the main reason as to y one would decide from know where not to have kids.n yes some women remain wth only 1 kid n happy bt here we r talking about not having kids at all just so she doesnt have maternal instincts n no desire at all!!!deep deep down thier must be something tini tiny feeling of wanting to have kids something is just holding her back!

MAy Allah forvige me if i am wrong.

[mammyluty]

:sl:

not understanding is not an excuse. there are some people who love having kids right and some who dont. its personal choice. some people are not into kids.

i just wanted to know the Islamic stance on this subject coz I know that it is encouraged to have big families, but what about people who don't want to , for whatever reason. Is there anything wrong with having only 1 child?

There are many reasons why one might choose to only have one child. Perhaps the parents are not into kids. perhaps for selfish reasons, such as they want to complete something before havign more kids, perhaps they would like to adopt a child and give a home to a chlid more needy.

if no-one knows off hand of any hadith or reference, then I'm guessing there is nothing wrong with it. I suppose different people have different feelings and Allah has made us all different.

in the original post u said the woman does not have desire to have children n no maternal instincts.n now its difrent.thats y i didnt understand...