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luckylibrain
01-11-2010, 10:55 AM
As Salaam Alaikum,

I have a few doubts that I need an answer to.Hope I can get some advice here.
I have received this marriage proposal, that I am not very certain about.My mother thinks it to be a good proposal whereas my father is in two minds.
I did istekhara for almost a month at different occasions, however I did not get any clear sign. Once I did get something as a no. but I was'nt sure.
I then tried reading the quran after praying nafl namaaz and got some indication that it is good.

Now I am quite confused as to what to do. Please let me know if there is some other way of confirming or getting a proper answer.

Jazakallah for your time.
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luckylibrain
01-12-2010, 02:37 PM
Any advice please?
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Muslim Woman
01-12-2010, 02:57 PM
:wa:

format_quote Originally Posted by luckylibrain
...Now I am quite confused as to what to do. .

Tell the other party to offer Istekhara .
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Raaina
01-12-2010, 03:07 PM
Sister, the only advice I could really give to you is, if you are not sure, then maybe you should not accept.

Keep doing istekhara for a few more weeks and see if you get an answer then :)
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'Abd-al Latif
01-12-2010, 03:27 PM
:salamext:

Why would you want to do istikhaara soooo many times??

Ask the brother questions about his deen. If you are pleased with his religious commitment then proceed. If it is meant to be then it will happen and if it is not meant to be and you face hardship and difficulties then it is a sign that it's not meant to be.

There is no need to pray istikhaara for months on end without making your own efforts to reach a conclusion.
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luckylibrain
01-13-2010, 12:26 PM
I had a doubt - if I am correct, istekhara does not really give an answer but events unfold in such a way that things become clearer for the purpose.
What has been happening is that i am getting other proposals but they do not materialize, while this one they are persistent.
Is this a sign that everything is ok here? Or because of the fact that I still have some doubts I should wait for other proposals, till we are 100% convinced?

I am sorry for the inconvenience I am causing.
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Raaina
01-13-2010, 03:32 PM
Sister you are not causing any inconvience :)

You have two choices - If you still have doubts about this proposal, don't go through with it, there will be a doubt in your mind for a reason.

Or

You can take a chance and accept the proposal and hope your doubt was just nerves.

As a marriage proposal is a big life changing event, I'd think very carefully before going into something with doubts.

Just my opinion.

May Allah make it easy for you sister :)
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cat eyes
01-13-2010, 03:57 PM
sister if you want to know what actually happens after doing istikharah speak with your scholar its best because everybody will give u different advice also and that will confuse you more and you could possibly end up rejecting a man who was religiously good for u so sister don't just ask anybody about this. also sister don't tell people that you are receiving proposals from brothers because what will happen is you will end up getting bad eyes from jealous people so its always safe to keep these things to yourself :)
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luckylibrain
01-14-2010, 04:02 PM
Jazakallah sisters for your replies. Could you please recommend a scholar? It would be of great help.
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Cabdullahi
01-14-2010, 04:23 PM
inshallah i hope you decide correctly :)
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Donia
01-14-2010, 09:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by luckylibrain
I had a doubt - if I am correct, istekhara does not really give an answer but events unfold in such a way that things become clearer for the purpose.
What has been happening is that i am getting other proposals but they do not materialize, while this one they are persistent.
Is this a sign that everything is ok here? Or because of the fact that I still have some doubts I should wait for other proposals, till we are 100% convinced?

I am sorry for the inconvenience I am causing.
Salaamu alaikum sister.

Who proposed first?
I believe that once a proposal is made, then you should consider this proposal first and only one at time. If you decide not to accept, then you can consider the next.
I'm sure there is a good reasoning for this as having too many proposals at one time can be confusing.
I sincerely hope it all works out insha'ALLAH.
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Insaanah
01-14-2010, 09:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Donia
Who proposed first?
I believe that once a proposal is made, then you should consider this proposal first and only one at time. If you decide not to accept, then you can consider the next.
I'm sure there is a good reasoning for this as having too many proposals at one time can be confusing.
I sincerely hope it all works out insha'ALLAH.
:sl:sister,

Just to clarify that a woman does not have to consider only one proposal at a time.

See my post in the first page of the following thread, and brother Muraad's longer post on the second page:

http://www.islamicboard.com/family-s...-proposal.html

It's something that many people think, but the ahadeeth prove otherwise.

Jazaakillah khair.

Allah knows best.

:sl:
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Donia
01-15-2010, 01:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Insane Insaan
:sl:sister,

Just to clarify that a woman does not have to consider only one proposal at a time.

See my post in the first page of the following thread, and brother Muraad's longer post on the second page:

http://www.islamicboard.com/family-s...-proposal.html

It's something that many people think, but the ahadeeth prove otherwise.

Jazaakillah khair.

Allah knows best.

:sl:
:wa:

JazakALLAH, sis.
That thread was very informative, alhumdulillah. :)
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luckylibrain
01-16-2010, 10:17 AM
Jazakallah sisters for your replies. Could you please recommend a scholar? It would be of great help.
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luckylibrain
01-16-2010, 10:18 AM
Also, they proposed first.
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brotherubaid
01-16-2010, 10:43 AM
U should perform Istikhara ur self , Liek u have been doing MashahAllah ,

Its result is that either it will happen or it wont happen , Istikhara is not like a dream that is interpreited by scholars , rather it is a duaa , where we litterally ask Allah if He knew this to be good for us then make it happen n if Allah knows that this is not good for us than Allah should take it away from us n take us away from it, This is a very rogh n short meaning of the dua of istikhara , well see the ahadith about marriage by the prophet sala lahu alihi wa sallam Bascially if some one comes to u whose n u are satisfied about his deen then u should go ahead , Also if u are atracted to him , this is the reason why it is allowed to look at each other in presence of family offcourse n the conditions to see if there is somethig that attrcts you to him or vice versa ,

May Allah make it easy n bless u with something that will InshshAllah prove to be good for ur deen , ur duniya m Akhira , n May Allah bless u .

So i do not think oe would need to go to a scholar to seek the answer for ones istikhara or interpret it or anything or to ask some scholar to do istikhara for u , rather one should do it them selfes n family can do it as well , why not they are involved.


This might benefit

How to pray istikhaarah
Assalam alaikum. How do I pray salat al istikhara, at what times , and are there special dua that I can read for different cicumstances?


Praise be to Allaah.

The description of Salaat al-Istikhaarah was reported by Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Salami (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said:

“The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them soorahs from the Qur’aan. He said: ‘If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to make, then let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer, then say: Allaahumma inni astakheeruka bi ‘ilmika wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika wa as’aluka min fadlika, fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdir, wa ta’lamu wa laa a’lam, wa anta ‘allaam al-ghuyoob. Allaahumma fa in kunta ta’lamu haadha’l-amra (then the matter should be mentioned by name) khayran li fi ‘aajil amri wa aajilihi (or: fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri) faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li thumma baarik li fihi. Allaahumma wa in kunta ta’lamu annahu sharrun li fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri (or: fi ‘aajili amri wa aajilihi) fasrifni ‘anhu [wasrafhu ‘anni] waqdur li al-khayr haythu kaana thumma radini bihi (O Allaah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.”

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6841; similar reports are also recorded by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa’i, Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah and Ahmad).

Ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth:

“Istikhaarah is a word which means asking Allaah to help one make a choice, meaning choosing the best of two things where one needs to choose one of them.

Concerning the phrase ‘The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach us to make istikhaarah in all things,’ Ibn Abi Jamrah said: ‘It is a general phrase which refers to something specific. With regard to matters that are waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (liked or encouraged), there is no need for istikhaarah to decide whether to do them, and with regard to matters that are haraam (forbidden) or makrooh (disliked), there is no need for istikhaarah to decide whether to avoid them. The issue of istikhaarah is confined to matters that are mubaah (allowed), or in mustahabb matters when there is a decision to be made as to which one should be given priority.’ I say: it refers to both great and small matters, and probably an insignificant issue could form the groundwork for a big issue.

The phrase ‘If any one of you is concerned…’ appears in the version narrated by Ibn Mas’ood as: ‘if any one of you wants to do something…’

‘Let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer.’ This is mentioned to make it clear that it does not mean fajr prayer, for example. Al-Nawawi said in al-Adhkaar: He can pray istikaarah after two rak’ahs of regular sunnah prayer done at zuhr for example, or after two rak’ahs of any naafil prayers whether they are regularly performed or not… It seems to be the case that if he made the intention to pray istikhaarah at the same time as intending to pray that particular prayer, this is fine, but not if he did not have this intention.

Ibn Abi Jamrah said: The wisdom behind putting the salaat before the du’aa’ is that istikhaarah is intended to combine the goodness of this world with the goodness of the next. A person needs to knock at the door of the King (Allaah), and there is nothing more effective for this than prayer, because it contains glorification and praise of Allaah, and expresses one's need for Him at all times.

The phrase ‘then let him say’ would seem to imply that the du’aa’ should be said after finishing the prayer, and the word thumma (then) probably means after reciting all the words of the salaat and before saying salaam.

The phrase ‘O Allaah, I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge’ is explaining ‘because You know best.’ Similarly, ‘by virtue of Your power’ most likely means ‘seeking Your help.’ ‘I seek ability’ (astaqdiruka) means ‘I ask You to give me the power or ability (qudrah) to do’ whatever is being asked for, or it probably means ‘I ask You to decree (tuqaddir) this for me.’ So it may mean making it easy.

‘I ask You of Your great bounty’ refers to the fact that Allaah gives out of His great generosity, but no one has the right to His blessings. This is the opinion of Ahl al-Sunnah.

‘You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not’ refers to the fact that power and knowledge belong to Allaah alone, and the slave has no share of them except what Allaah decrees for him.

‘O Allaah, if in Your knowledge this matter…’ According to one report, he should mention it by name. It is apparent from the context that he should state it, but it is probably sufficient to be thinking of the matter whilst making this du’aa’.

‘Then ordain it for me’ means ‘make it happen for me’ or it may mean ‘make it easy for me.’

‘Then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it’ means ‘so that my heart will no longer feel attached to it after it has been turned away.’

‘Make me pleased with it’ means ‘make me content with it, so that I will never regret asking for it or be sorry that it happened, because I do not know how it will turn out, even if at the time of asking I am pleased with it.’

The secret is that one’s heart should not be attached to the matter in question, because that will result in a person becoming restless. Being pleased with something means that one’s heart is content with the decree of Allaah.

(Summarized from the commentary of al-Haafiz Ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him) on the hadeeth in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Da’waat and Kitaab al-Tawheed.).


http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/2217/istikhara
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luckylibrain
01-17-2010, 09:10 AM
Jazakallah brother for your advice. May Allah guide me and do what is best for me. Inshallah.
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luckylibrain
01-28-2010, 11:33 AM
Query regarding consulting the quran for marriage proposal


I urgently need some advice please.
regarding a marriage proposal , in addition to praying istekhara namaaz, is it right to pray nafl namaaz ,make dua and then randomly open the quran and read a verse and its interpretation and draw inspiration from its meaning?
For instance if we get something like rejecting is wrong and that everything works out according to Allah's will and plan, one should accept the proposal?
If verses pointing to the same meaning keep coming, then it means it is good for you?

Is doing this right and reliable??
Please confirm.
Jazakallah.
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Muslim Woman
01-28-2010, 11:52 AM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by luckylibrain
is it right to pray nafl namaaz ,make dua and then randomly open the quran and read a verse and its interpretation and draw inspiration from its meaning?
.

Is there any authetic hadith that says so ? If no , then don't do it.

U may talk to ur local Imam for the intrepretation of Istekhara. The other party did that ? What's their result ?
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luckylibrain
01-28-2010, 11:54 AM
I am not aware of a hadith. Can someone please confirm if there is any hadith regarding this?
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Muslim Woman
01-28-2010, 12:04 PM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by luckylibrain
I am not aware of a hadith. Can someone please confirm if there is any hadith regarding this?

A sis in other thread wrote that it's not mentioned in Hadith. Read here

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...stikharah.html
Reply

brotherubaid
01-29-2010, 09:40 AM
Sistyer the ONLY way of the Istekhara is the One The Prophet Sala lahu alihi wa sallam taught us , n practised n his sahaba practised.

There is no second or thord way

All those ways are inovated , and since u have mentioned this STRANGE n Inovated way siste , I will also like to take the opportunity to request u to STAY AWAY from whom ever u heared it from , be it a person n a group or sect coz they are clearely following their desires , n innovating in the deen new stuff that will lead them to destruction and their followers

I had heared aboutr this type pf istekhara before , That is opening the Quran randomly and taking a conclusion on the ayaat on the page, This is VERY wrong , This has absolutely got notthing to do with Islam and Muslimeen , n those who do it i will warn them with a sever warning , even though the warning are plenty f rthe Innnovators but this one is just too heavy

The one who inniovates will not get to drink fom the Haud Al kawthar

Here is one Hadith about it , about the haud and the one who will be denied from it

Verily, it is a river that my Lord, the Mighty and Majestic, has promised me and it has abundant goodness. It is a pond where my Ummah will be brought to on the Day of Judgement. Its containers are as numerous as the stars in the sky. Then a servant of Allah from among them will be (prevented from it) and I will say: "O Lord! Verily, he is from my Ummah (followers).'' Then He (Allah) will say: "Verily, you do not know what he introduced (or innovated) after you.)'' This is the wording of Muslim. Ahmad recorded this Hadith from Muhammad bin Fudayl, who reported from Al-Mukhtar bin Fulful, who reported it from Anas bin Malik. Imam Ahmad also recorded from Anas that the Messenger of Allah said

It is a river in Paradise which my Lord has given me. It is whiter than milk and sweeter than honey. There are birds in it whose necks are (long) like carrots.) `Umar said, "O Messenger of Allah! Verily, they (the birds) will be beautiful


So those who innovate in the religion , apart from other losses will miss out on such a special drink , From the hands of the Prophet Sala lahu lhi wa sallam , The one who get sto drink it will never get thristy again. So may Allah save us from innovations , Innovated people , n groyups that folow and introduce innovations in the deen , N help us live our lifes according to Quran N sunnah , n help us follow the way f the pious precedors , The way of the Prophet sala lahu alihi wa sallam n his ompanions n those who fololwed them, The pure deen with notthing added to it nor notthing taken away from it , It surely was enough for them , n what was not DEEN AT THAT TIME CANOT BE DEEN TODAY

N also i just remmbeer another form of INVALID n INNOVATED istekhara know and performed by big time molvis of the sub continenet , That is the type to take a bead ( Tasbeeh) and one one of its stones he says yes n the next one no untill the bead ends , so if he ends at a yes its a GO , and if he ends at a no Its not to be done!

Remindes me of how when some one is in love lol n take a flower n removes its petals saying She loes me , She love me no , untill he or she reac hes a conclusion!!Wow just look at their understanding of the deen.

This is how the kuffar of makkah used to be , When they needed to amke a decision they would take a bird n release it , If it goes right the would take it as a yes n if it goes left they would take it as NO , I guess soe muslims are not MUCH diffrent from the kuffar n disbelievers of MAKAH AFTER ALL!!

This is not deen , this aint got notthing to do with Islam ,

JUST KNOW THIS BEAUTIFUL PRINCIPLE

FOR ANYTHINTG TO BE LEGISLATED OR PRESCRIBED , IT HAS TO HAVE THE APPROVAL OF ALLAH N HIS MESSNEGER

Be it an act of worship, ibadah , Aqeedah , creed , or fiqh , or any thing to do with thw relogion

Coz the Religion is
Allah said
and his messenger said

It has got to have either one of those two stamps on it , or both to be legislated

So sis this is no istekhara

Nor are any WIRDS or WAZWEFAHS

that go like , say 11 times darood , 21 times read al fathia n then 21 times say this n that n 671 time sthis n then ASK Allah !!

Who prescribed these number?? Not the prophet , so best to leave n stay away , or we will be from those losers who will miss out on the haud al kauthar and jannah in he long run

coz the Prophet says

EVEREY NEWLY invented thiG is a BIDAH(INOVATION) and ever bidah is a going astray n every thing that taes u astray is in FIRE!
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hanif_
01-29-2010, 09:50 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
sister if you want to know what actually happens after doing istikharah speak with your scholar its best because everybody will give u different advice also and that will confuse you more and you could possibly end up rejecting a man who was religiously good for u so sister don't just ask anybody about this. also sister don't tell people that you are receiving proposals from brothers because what will happen is you will end up getting bad eyes from jealous people so its always safe to keep these things to yourself :)
:sl:

BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!
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luckylibrain
01-30-2010, 06:40 PM
Jazakallah for the great advice. I will inshallah do istekhara again. Thanks for clearing my misconceptions.
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brotherubaid
02-03-2010, 10:32 PM
n also just wanted to warn u sister from another form of ONLINE istekhara or on air istekhara

There are desi channels that do istekhara online , where at one channel QTV they have a person Sitting behind a curtain , u cannot even see him n u tell him ur problem or issue n he answres n does an istekhara , Sister these are all magicians , n The guy must be soo ugly from the magic n jinns he deals with that they hide his face behind a curtain n there are other channels that do this as well where u can call one of thoese fortune telleres on air n they not only answer ur questuons , right there close their eyes n read shirki n magical talismans in their mouth n muble stuff n give u answers n tell u some un seen things , but only Allah knows the unseen , They only tell what the jinns n qareens tell them , such big thugs n cheaters n magicians al lover islamic channels , i once saw him do magic on air on a girl where he made the cloth she was holding LONGER over the phone.


The Prophet in a hadith told us that one who goes toa fortuneteler his 40 days of prayer will not be accepted n the one who believes in what he tells him has disbelieved on what was sent down to Muhammad sala lahu alihi wa saalm , so all this is pretty serious with grave consequences.

May Allah save us
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luckylibrain
02-19-2010, 10:51 AM
I was reading this about isthekhara:

It is not necessary that you get a dream or even a "feeling." Rather, the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara) with the proper manners, the most important of which is to truly consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs.

One should be pleased with what Allah chooses for one, and not seek to follow one's whims after the answer to one's supplication becomes clear.

From "Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs." I take it that the fact that I prayed isthekhara and because I was'nt convinced and we said no.
I did pray a lot of hajat salat and tahajuud one night and the next day we found that there was a minor thing that was untrue. So we said no.
Then we saw other proposals, but nothing worked out.
I now prayed that if the older proposal was right for me,please let it come back.
These people came back, in the meanwhile.
He has done isthekhara too and says that he got a positive feeling.
Is this what was the result of my isthekhara? That allah taala made other proposals not work out and this one to work out? (then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs.) In my heart the feelings that i get are still mixed.
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