A Islamic Community?

[S<Chowdhury]

Salam,

Firstly forgive me if i offend anyone, thats really not my attention at all.

I've been brought up in Islam yet since a teenager i guess you could say I've strayed away from Islam, as a child I've never questioned Islam. Yet now the only way to understand Islam better I believe is asking the questions. My parents are born in Bangladesh but I've been raised in London. I guess the Bengali community and culture is interlinked with Islam very closely.

From a very young age i knew what was expected of me whilst in social community events amongst peers, living with eastern traditions as i guess many of you have you understand the difficulties faced. Obv the key rule was never bring shame upon your family name, this could be done in several ways as most of you know the key one was never to be seen with a girl alone because the consequences mostly for the girl but also for the male as well would be severe.

Obv these rules we must abide by are to protect ourselves from sin and for aa better community etc etc, but mostly i feel like these communities we have are totally full of 'story makers' and phoneyness if you get me. In front of the community we must play happy families when at home everything is not okey, surely isn't it better to share our problems rather than hide them just to maintain your respect etc etc maybe its more of a cultural thing but religion seems to play a part to me. It seems that we are more preoccupied what other people will think rather than address the problem at hand, for example if your daughter has run away from home, then instead of using the community to help bring her back to the right path, rather its covering up the whole situation and act as everything is fine, or even some parents go to the length of saying there daughter is dead to them, yet it maybe a little exaggerated and dramatic lol.

Secondly the idea of marriage, and how we cannot marry just anyone, i understand its better to marry a Muslim woman of your culture or similar yet if you do happen to marry someone who is not either Muslim or otherwise, you become a community outcast. I just don't believe that is fair just because of whom they've married, they may be ridiculed and have the whole community see you as a less of a person.

I really just want everyone else's opinion on this about the whole idea of Eastern Culture and Society/Community, I'am in no way saying how all ethnic Islamic minority communities are yet this is my experience of it so far.