How much is "Reasonable"?

[Pakeezah]

Volume 7, Book 64, Number 272:
Narrated 'Aisha:

Hind bint 'Utba came and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Abu Sufyan is a miser so is it sinful of me to feed our children from his property?" Allah's Apostle said, "No except if you take for your needs what is just and reasonable. "
-Sahih Bukhari

According the the above hadith a wife is allowed to take "what is just and reasonable". Unfortunately, I am in a similar predicament as Hind bint Utba in that I am also married to a miser and his interpretation of reasonable is what I consider pittance.

I asked a knowledgeable person the explanation of reasonable and she said that a husband should have the same standards for his wife and family as he has for himself. For example, if he likes to shop in Armani Exchange and Banana Republic, he shouldnt expect his family to shop in Walmart! She also said that a husband should spend a similar amount on his wife as he does on himself.

I accept that to be a good answer but my problem is that I believe I have more costs than my hubby and therefore need to spend more than him. Without going into specifics a woman has different needs than a man which require items that a man doesnt need and incur greater costs. In addition to spending on my personal needs (I am not a big clothes shopper), the majority of the money I spend is spent on my children, home or others (gifts, charity).


To reiterate my question: If Islam allows a woman to take what is just and reasonable, how does one calculate or agree between a couple what is reasonable?? (Is there a formula that would be reasonable like net income minus household expenses minus savings divided by two?)

[tango92]

i would say reasonable is what you need for essentials and what can reasonably be afforded. no luxury items.

and spend enough to keep yourself and your children healthy. at the end of the day you are the best judge.

"Nay, I swear by the reproaching soul" (Qur'an 75:10)

listen to this little voice inside and inshAllah you will make the right desicions.

[Taqiyah]

salaam sis I don't know if this is helpful but I personally believe a man should spend more on his wife than on himself. That is just more appropriate in my world..I mean come on girls like to be spoiled sometimes:statisfieit makes them feel special:statisfie:p ok moving on..:X:X:X