Love and marriage

J

Just Curious

New member
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
A very simple question

If a guy and a girl are in love, or they are simply interested in marrying each other, then what is the Islamic rules for this.

Just to give you an indication of what kind of love, and I use that carefully, these two people are in.. they will never be able to leave each other.

Her family will have no problems, his father on the other hand is very unlikely to accept given the girls parents are divorced, and this is looked at in a bad way.

What are the options for this young couple, who are willing to sacrifice everything, but are fully aware of the importance of parents in Islam.

Needless to say, I am this young boy, and I've made up my mind regardless, as I can't ever be with any other girl, and can never see her with any other man. Of the four things, I can't marry her for her family status or wealth, as her family has a bad status and her wealth is equal to mine. From this family was born an angel, who is religious and absolutely beautiful, the two qualities that I makes me want to make her my wife.

It would be fantastic if you guys could tell me what you know about this particular situation. Thank you
 
Just Curious said:
A very simple question

If a guy and a girl are in love, or they are simply interested in marrying each other, then what is the Islamic rules for this.

Just to give you an indication of what kind of love, and I use that carefully, these two people are in.. they will never be able to leave each other.

Her family will have no problems, his father on the other hand is very unlikely to accept given the girls parents are divorced, and this is looked at in a bad way.

What are the options for this young couple, who are willing to sacrifice everything, but are fully aware of the importance of parents in Islam.

Needless to say, I am this young boy, and I've made up my mind regardless, as I can't ever be with any other girl, and can never see her with any other man. Of the four things, I can't marry her for her family status or wealth, as her family has a bad status and her wealth is equal to mine. From this family was born an angel, who is religious and absolutely beautiful, the two qualities that I makes me want to make her my wife.

It would be fantastic if you guys could tell me what you know about this particular situation. Thank you
Click to expand...

I cannot suggest anything except to say that you've made up your mind quite early. No reflective person can say that they cannot live without any other person! Havent you already lived the past of your life without this girl??!!! What makes you think you that you cannot live the remaining life of yours without her?!! Our thinking is like a river, it changes directions till we die. And please dont tell me the cliche statement from bollywood movies that "you are saying all that because you have not fell in love." I did fell in love. With nature. ;D

But best of luck for whatever you decide to pursue.
 
:sl:
before you decide to marry her, some things need to be taken into account? do you have the means to provide for her? are you ready for marriage (you sound very young-teenager?)

you should speak to your dad and/or get someone else to...try make him come around...this is a silly reason not to marry one off for.

im going to sound like a sour grape, but as i said you sound like a teenager and i cant help but wonder if you are being rash and hasty due to your feelings for her...you should think this out very very carefully, think and analyze where this is going to take you even for the short-run (2-5 years time) speak to those who are elder and can help you make this life-long decision and of course pray istikhara.
you should note that loads of people have fallen in love at such a young age, and likewise these same people ended up marrying someone else only to realise that indeed the one they initially had fallen in love with, isnt the right one.
 
Just Curious said:
It's understandable; I just wanted to re-iterate the main question.. what is the Islamic verdict on this? I do not fear anyone but Allah
Click to expand...

Fearing Allah (swt) alone is a very good characteristic. You can get the best advise by contacting an educated sheikh. No one on this forum is eligible to provide Islamic solutions to such important issues. Please contact religious authorities in your area. That is my opinion. You also have to meet Islamic requirements for marriage first which as someone mentioned includes your ability to support the wife financially and other areas as well.
 
Last edited:
Just Curious said:
It's understandable; I just wanted to re-iterate the main question.. what is the Islamic verdict on this? I do not fear anyone but Allah
Click to expand...
From what I understand, a man does not need any permission from his own side in order to get married. The girl's wali (male guardian) does need to give permission, however.

Of course, it would be all the more wiser to convince your father though.
 
Alpha Dude said:
From what I understand, a man does not need any permission from his own side in order to get married. The girl's wali (male guardian) does need to give permission, however.

Of course, it would be all the more wiser to convince your father though.
Click to expand...

Thank you, this is all I needed to know
 
Alpha Dude said:
Of course, it would be all the more wiser to convince your father though.
Click to expand...

I see. But if the man marries and it angers the father, would it not be sinful? Referring to the hadith similar to: Allah's pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and Allah's displeasure is in the displeasure of the father.
 
There is no sin of marriage if it were to take place without his father's blessing. It would be a valid marriage.

As to the sin of disobeying his father, I don't know.
 
Aslaamu alaaykum bro..
Insha`Allaah you got your parents involved..ie a mahram was also involved Insha`Allaah when you met..
Make Ishtikara Prayer Insha`Allaah that will help a lot.
And also make sure when you met, did you meet in a halal way? like i said was a mahram involved, because if your thinking about get married, your intentions should be good to do if for the pleasure of Allaah, that you can provide for her etc..
Here are some Hadith you can keep in mind Insha`Allaah:
Abdullah ibn Umar reported that God's Messenger (PBUH) said:

“Do not marry only for a person's looks, for their beauty might become a cause of moral decline. Do not marry for the sake of wealth, as this may become a source of sin. Marry rather on the grounds of religious devotion.”

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Every one of you is a guardian and responsible for those in his charge; the man, in his home, is a guardian and responsible for his household; the woman, concerning her husband's property, is a guardian and responsible for what she is entrusted with."

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“You shall not enter Paradise until you have faith, and you shall not have faith until you love one another. Have compassion on those who are on earth, and He Who is in Heaven will have compassion for you.”

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

`O young people! Whoever among you can support a wife should marry, for that is more modest for the gaze and safer for your private parts.'

( Marriage quote from Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari)
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half."

( Marriage quotes from At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim)


Insha`Allaah i thought there was a need of some Hadiths, although there are plenty of more, Insha`Allaah just to remind you all

Insha`Allaah when you are ready, you can go down and meet the family etc..
sorry if i said anything bad or wrong :(
Wa alaykum Salaam

Ps. i hope i helped in some parts of the question if not sorry
 
Muslim World 12 said:
Aslaamu alaaykum bro..
Insha`Allaah you got your parents involved..ie a mahram was also involved Insha`Allaah when you met..
Make Ishtikara Prayer Insha`Allaah that will help a lot.
And also make sure when you met, did you meet in a halal way? like i said was a mahram involved, because if your thinking about get married, your intentions should be good to do if for the pleasure of Allaah, that you can provide for her etc..
Here are some Hadith you can keep in mind Insha`Allaah:
Abdullah ibn Umar reported that God's Messenger (PBUH) said:

“Do not marry only for a person's looks, for their beauty might become a cause of moral decline. Do not marry for the sake of wealth, as this may become a source of sin. Marry rather on the grounds of religious devotion.”

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Every one of you is a guardian and responsible for those in his charge; the man, in his home, is a guardian and responsible for his household; the woman, concerning her husband's property, is a guardian and responsible for what she is entrusted with."

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“You shall not enter Paradise until you have faith, and you shall not have faith until you love one another. Have compassion on those who are on earth, and He Who is in Heaven will have compassion for you.”

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

`O young people! Whoever among you can support a wife should marry, for that is more modest for the gaze and safer for your private parts.'

( Marriage quote from Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari)
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half."

( Marriage quotes from At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim)


Insha`Allaah i thought there was a need of some Hadiths, although there are plenty of more, Insha`Allaah just to remind you all

Insha`Allaah when you are ready, you can go down and meet the family etc..
sorry if i said anything bad or wrong :(
Wa alaykum Salaam

Ps. i hope i helped in some parts of the question if not sorry
Click to expand...

SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah... and Insh'Allah
 
salams akhee... any update? :)

Its okay if you don't want to reply...huhu just ignore me huhu
 
Last edited:
syilla said:
salams akhee... any update? :)

Its okay if you don't want to reply...huhu just ignore me huhu
Click to expand...

I'm following my heart. I think I've found a way, but its very difficult, and so if it is the right way and Allah is with me, then everything will be fine

I've dealt with challenges all my life, insh'Allah I will deal with this one too

Please make dua for me, and all Muslims of the world
 
Just one more Hadith :D:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.” Narrated by Ibn Majaah (1847) and classed as saheeh by al-Buwaysiri and by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (624).

Bro I'll also quote this:

It is obvious that you are a stranger (non-mahram) to this girl, and it is not permissible for you to be alone with her, shake hands with her, look at her beauty or talk to her about love and so on. If any of these things have happened in the past, then you must repent to Allaah from that, and you must repent from studying in the mixed environment which is usually not free from haraam things, and has bad effects on both boys and girls.

Source: http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/112434
Click to expand...
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top