Muslim and gay...

[Musliman]

Dear brothers and sisters:sl:

I am new here, it's the first time that I come and it's a pleasure for me to register on this board. I hope you won't mind if I get onto this topic here :)

I shall introduce myself first, I am young and I "pretend" to be a practising Muslim, I love Allah and I FEAR him. However, as you may have read on the title, I am gay and throughout some verses in the Quran, we can understand that Allah advise men and women to better not engage in same sex relations. Homosexuality is certainly a sexual orientation which is innate or at least psychological change occurring in childhood, I think gays and lesbians can feel it, regardless of all what it is being said. That was on the one hand.

On the other hand, it is said in Islam that marriage is "Nisfou addine" (half of the religion), and I think it would be nice to marry a woman and have children, but maybe I am dreaming too much....imsad

I've been hearing some tips saying that marrying a lesbian might be a good alternative, but what if failure ensues ?

But let's not forget that marriage itself in Islam is considered at different points from "Mandoub" (acclaimed ?) to Haram, depending on the circumstances. But homosexuals who want to become straight have never been mentionned, and religiously speaking, they are, unfortunately, deemed as "sinners" and reprobates which is truly hurting and humiliating.

Allah has never asked people to condemn themselves homosexuals, we ought first to understand before prejudging.

I am here today to express my bewilderment and also self-dissatisfaction (I wish I were heterosexual) because I LOVE Allah and I love Islam.

We shall also not forget the non-negligible percentage of LGBT people in any population in the world and I seize this chance to admonish retarded governments in some countries which punish LGBT for commiting acts (in number of Muslim and Arab countries, homosexuality is legal).

I know that my situation is hard to explain, assist and help, but after all, what would you do ? Is marriage necessary ? Or do you think Allah will forgive me ? I can't stop thinking about this every second of my life, I am exhausted imsad

[abu salaahudeen]

welcome to the forum and may Allah make it easy for you

I know you probably have heard this before but I must say what is required of me.

Know that homosexuality is a horrendous sin and in order to avoid the wrath of Allah one must give up that particular sin and ask forgiveness for it.

[cat eyes]

brother a person who loves Allah will give up all da worldly desires for him! Think of da punishmentz in da grave! Death is real! Itz no joke. Allah can take our soulz at any time then what excuse you will give then?.

U can give all da excuses in this dunya however when a person dies these excuses are worthless and you know it! You knw what your doing is wrong so give it up and repent before itz to late keep in mind also you are also committing zina so gays have no place in any religion.

[abu salaahudeen]

Allah says in the quran Surah al Jathiya to be precise:

"Have you seen the One whotakes his own desires as Ilah (object of worship)?"

if we allow our emotions to take precedence over what Allah commands then we are committing a heinous crime. Think about it bro . . .

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[جوري]

:sl:

When You Find Out You Are a Gay

My world was so confused as I kept asking myself why men marry women when in fact, they love men?
Editor's note: This is the true story of an ex-homosexual man. It is published here with the author's kind permission.

I was born in a devout Muslim family. All my family members keep the five daily prayers, fast in the month of Ramadan, and observe all the Islamic teachings and rituals. My parents performed Hajj in the 1970s. There are 14 of us in the family. I am the 11th and the last son of a 5-brother and 9-sister family. I am close to my sisters and my mother compared to my brothers. My father passed away when I was 10.

I felt attracted to guys when I was young. Maybe the feeling developed when I was 10 years old. At 14, I knew that I would not want to get married as I was not attracted to women. I thought of how I would face my brothers and sisters when they all would get married and I would stay single.
My world was so confused as I asked myself why men marry women when in fact they love men. Then I realized that it was only me who felt that way. I was never abused by anyone. I still have no clue why it affected me.

Same Sex Experience


Last March, while reading Qur'an after Fajr Prayer, I prayed in my heart that Allah gives me a female companion. I wanted to stop all thisSomehow, time passed by so fast and I had to face the reality that I will stay single forever. Luckily, some of my brothers and sisters got married when I was studying in the US. When I finished my degree, I stayed in Kuala Lumpur away from my family. Therefore, I could escape from the marriage questions.

My first SSE (Same-Sex Experience) started during college days. It continued after completing my studies when I settled back in Kuala Lumpur. It went further as my work took me to the Middle East. During these times, I still continued with my prayers. Sometimes, I felt so shy to face Allah during prayer as I just had sex earlier. Sometimes, I waited till the next day.

Although my career grew, I felt turbulence in life. My career did not go as smoothly as I wanted it to. My life was empty and my emotions were unstable as I kept changing partners. Then, I read a hadith about those committing sodomy.

Two years ago, I was out of work. I thought that was the worst time of my life when in fact it was the best time ever. I started reading the translation of the Qur'an. The imam in a mini mosque read hadiths (from the collection of Imam An-Nawawi) every morning after Fajr Prayer (Arabic for: Dawn Prayer). I now realize how these hadiths have shaped my life and my thinking.
I also read Prophet Muhammad's (peace and blessings be upon him) biography and the biographies of the 10 Companions who were promised Paradise. These stories moved me.
Even with all this, I still continued with my SSE, as bad habits die hard.

During my 6-month out-of-work period, Allah taught me how to surrender to Him. When I was hungry with no food to eat, Allah sent people offering me to eat with them. I did not have to ask Allah for this. He read me well. I was glad.
Surrendering to Allah is the turning point of my life. Reading the translation of the Qur'an has changed my perception of thinking and looking at this world. I read the book Road to Mecca by Muhammed Assad. I felt like a totally new Muslim.

Even with all this, I was still having SSE.

Words from Prophet Lut to his people kept me thinking. "Take my daughters for your wife. May you will find peace." I smiled sarcastically as I know these people were not interested in women, how could he offer his daughters? But then again, these are a prophet's words. There must be some truth in them.

Last March, while reading Qur'an after Fajr Prayer, I prayed in my heart that Allah gives me a female companion. I wanted to stop all this. I felt tired of my life, felt like every time I was climbing ladders to reach to the highest level of faith, I fell down when I had a SSE.

Getting Married

Allah gave me a wife who fulfilled 9 out of 10 on my checklistWith my companion, I could channel my sexual desire according to Islam. Within a week, Allah sent someone who wanted to introduce me to her auntie. (I said in my heart: An auntie?) I said, "OK if I have the time." Then the lady was brought to me in the same evening. There was not much conversation except that she said that her favorite journey is from her house to the masjid. That was the last word we spoke before I adjourned to surau for my `Asr Prayer (Arabic for: Afternoon Prayer).

After the first meeting, we contacted each other via text messages. She asked me "Why didn't I get married?" I was a bit stunned and replied with all sorts of excuses. Then I resent to inform that in fact I did not get married because I was born homosexual. After a week of text messaging, I asked her if that it was OK to let my mom know about us and I found the right person. She said "OK." Within three months, we were married in a small ceremony.

Allah gave me a wife. She fulfilled 9 out of 10 on my checklist. I told her the one she did not fulfill is that she is a woman, not a man. She smiled. Allah offered me the qualities in her as if I spelled out my checklist. Allah knows me too well and knows what makes me happy.

During the three months that I knew her (before marriage), I did not feel attracted to her, I did not feel the arousal when I was with her. Nor does she toward me. I surrendered to Allah alone as I read in the Qur'an that He is the One Who showers the love feeling.
I prayed to Allah to shower us with love and make me feel aroused with her. True enough, Allah accepted my plea.

During the process of knowing my wife, I stumbled upon straight struggle Yahoo! groups based in the UK that cater for Muslims who face Same Sex Attraction (SSA) all over the world. I shared my life experience and my successful story with the groups. I am glad that I paved the way and encouraged some to take the first step to get married and counter the fear of first-night marriage.
In sha' Allah, my small contribution will lead to many successful heterosexual marriages in the future. Amen.

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...ture/ACELayout

__________________________

the author has a yahoo support group maybe he can help you insha'Allah..

:welcome: aboard and hope you find the support you need

:w:

[sevgi]

A friend of mine from highschool, a muslim brother, had asked me out when we were like 16. He wasnt a big believer in Allah, let alone islam. I wore the hijab and prayed five times a day. I said no, ofcourse coz I dont "go out" with men.

We got closer as I taught him about Allah and Islam (all during class etc). He started to fast and believe in Allah. The thing is, he was a bit different...a very effeminite guy. All the mascline guys in my class would tease him and call him gay. But I knew he wasnt coz I knew he had harboured feelings towards me before and he would tell me about his crushes in class and stuff.

As the years went on, we reached our final year in school. My friend turned around one day and told me he had realised he was gay all along. His family found out and it didnt go down very well. I made the mistake of telling hm it was ok and that I didnt mind what he was.

A year or so later he contacted me and told me he wanted to marry me. That while he was homosexual, he still wanted a proper marriage and that I was the girl he wanted as his wife. I told him he was silly and that I dont knw of any girl who wud marry a guy knowing that he would be practicing homosexuality.

I came across this guy a year after that, only to find that he had denounced his faith. It broke my heart.

This guy was a heterosexual in the beginning. He wanted to continue heterosexuality even when he was homosexually inclined. This shows that heterosexuality is and can become natural in men who are inclined towards men.

You can turn this around coz you are meant to. And inshallah you will.

Can anyone answer for me is it haram to have homosexual feelings if you do not practice homosexual acts?

[Donia]

:sl: sis Skye.

I don't think I have ever read an article like that before. Masha'Allah.

Brother, I hope it will give you some hope insha'Allah.

[Musliman]

Thank you all for your answers, it went straight to my heart :embarrass

welcome to the forum and may Allah make it easy for you

I know you probably have heard this before but I must say what is required of me.

Know that homosexuality is a horrendous sin and in order to avoid the wrath of Allah one must give up that particular sin and ask forgiveness for it.

Thank you. And yeah, I am aware of that, but you know ? It's not like it's doable, it is exactly the same as if you ask a 100% heterosexual person to feel some "love" sentiment for someone from the same sex. I never engage in same sex relations, but God ! You can't imagine how tempting that is, to me :(

brother a person who loves Allah will give up all da worldly desires for him! Think of da punishmentz in da grave! Death is real! Itz no joke. Allah can take our soulz at any time then what excuse you will give then?.

U can give all da excuses in this dunya however when a person dies these excuses are worthless and you know it! You knw what your doing is wrong so give it up and repent before itz to late keep in mind also you are also committing zina so gays have no place in any religion.

No no no, as I just said I never engage in same sex acts, I am just gay, which means I have love only people from the same sex. Talking about religions, there are several religions which accept homosexuality, yet, I do not care about them and I do not recognize them. My problem is not sexual addiction but orientation ! All I want to know is whether it is biologically possible to change the sexual orientation because unfortunately it does not seem to be the case, and as I had mentioned Islam insists on marriage.

Allah says in the quran Surah al Jathiya to be precise:

"Have you seen the One whotakes his own desires as Ilah (object of worship)?"

if we allow our emotions to take precedence over what Allah commands then we are committing a heinous crime. Think about it bro . . .

It's not that easy believe me, it is not like if you endeavour to stop smoking or something, here it is something which seems so impossible that I try not to think about it. But unluckily it is never-changing :cry:

:sl:

When You Find Out You Are a Gay

My world was so confused as I kept asking myself why men marry women when in fact, they love men?
Editor's note: This is the true story of an ex-homosexual man. It is published here with the author's kind permission.

I was born in a devout Muslim family. All my family members keep the five daily prayers, fast in the month of Ramadan, and observe all the Islamic teachings and rituals. My parents performed Hajj in the 1970s. There are 14 of us in the family. I am the 11th and the last son of a 5-brother and 9-sister family. I am close to my sisters and my mother compared to my brothers. My father passed away when I was 10.

I felt attracted to guys when I was young. Maybe the feeling developed when I was 10 years old. At 14, I knew that I would not want to get married as I was not attracted to women. I thought of how I would face my brothers and sisters when they all would get married and I would stay single.
My world was so confused as I asked myself why men marry women when in fact they love men. Then I realized that it was only me who felt that way. I was never abused by anyone. I still have no clue why it affected me.

Same Sex Experience


Last March, while reading Qur'an after Fajr Prayer, I prayed in my heart that Allah gives me a female companion. I wanted to stop all thisSomehow, time passed by so fast and I had to face the reality that I will stay single forever. Luckily, some of my brothers and sisters got married when I was studying in the US. When I finished my degree, I stayed in Kuala Lumpur away from my family. Therefore, I could escape from the marriage questions.

My first SSE (Same-Sex Experience) started during college days. It continued after completing my studies when I settled back in Kuala Lumpur. It went further as my work took me to the Middle East. During these times, I still continued with my prayers. Sometimes, I felt so shy to face Allah during prayer as I just had sex earlier. Sometimes, I waited till the next day.

Although my career grew, I felt turbulence in life. My career did not go as smoothly as I wanted it to. My life was empty and my emotions were unstable as I kept changing partners. Then, I read a hadith about those committing sodomy.

Two years ago, I was out of work. I thought that was the worst time of my life when in fact it was the best time ever. I started reading the translation of the Qur'an. The imam in a mini mosque read hadiths (from the collection of Imam An-Nawawi) every morning after Fajr Prayer (Arabic for: Dawn Prayer). I now realize how these hadiths have shaped my life and my thinking.
I also read Prophet Muhammad's (peace and blessings be upon him) biography and the biographies of the 10 Companions who were promised Paradise. These stories moved me.
Even with all this, I still continued with my SSE, as bad habits die hard.

During my 6-month out-of-work period, Allah taught me how to surrender to Him. When I was hungry with no food to eat, Allah sent people offering me to eat with them. I did not have to ask Allah for this. He read me well. I was glad.
Surrendering to Allah is the turning point of my life. Reading the translation of the Qur'an has changed my perception of thinking and looking at this world. I read the book Road to Mecca by Muhammed Assad. I felt like a totally new Muslim.

Even with all this, I was still having SSE.

Words from Prophet Lut to his people kept me thinking. "Take my daughters for your wife. May you will find peace." I smiled sarcastically as I know these people were not interested in women, how could he offer his daughters? But then again, these are a prophet's words. There must be some truth in them.

Last March, while reading Qur'an after Fajr Prayer, I prayed in my heart that Allah gives me a female companion. I wanted to stop all this. I felt tired of my life, felt like every time I was climbing ladders to reach to the highest level of faith, I fell down when I had a SSE.

Getting Married

Allah gave me a wife who fulfilled 9 out of 10 on my checklistWith my companion, I could channel my sexual desire according to Islam. Within a week, Allah sent someone who wanted to introduce me to her auntie. (I said in my heart: An auntie?) I said, "OK if I have the time." Then the lady was brought to me in the same evening. There was not much conversation except that she said that her favorite journey is from her house to the masjid. That was the last word we spoke before I adjourned to surau for my `Asr Prayer (Arabic for: Afternoon Prayer).

After the first meeting, we contacted each other via text messages. She asked me "Why didn't I get married?" I was a bit stunned and replied with all sorts of excuses. Then I resent to inform that in fact I did not get married because I was born homosexual. After a week of text messaging, I asked her if that it was OK to let my mom know about us and I found the right person. She said "OK." Within three months, we were married in a small ceremony.

Allah gave me a wife. She fulfilled 9 out of 10 on my checklist. I told her the one she did not fulfill is that she is a woman, not a man. She smiled. Allah offered me the qualities in her as if I spelled out my checklist. Allah knows me too well and knows what makes me happy.

During the three months that I knew her (before marriage), I did not feel attracted to her, I did not feel the arousal when I was with her. Nor does she toward me. I surrendered to Allah alone as I read in the Qur'an that He is the One Who showers the love feeling.
I prayed to Allah to shower us with love and make me feel aroused with her. True enough, Allah accepted my plea.

During the process of knowing my wife, I stumbled upon straight struggle Yahoo! groups based in the UK that cater for Muslims who face Same Sex Attraction (SSA) all over the world. I shared my life experience and my successful story with the groups. I am glad that I paved the way and encouraged some to take the first step to get married and counter the fear of first-night marriage.
In sha' Allah, my small contribution will lead to many successful heterosexual marriages in the future. Amen.

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...ture/ACELayout

__________________________

the author has a yahoo support group maybe he can help you insha'Allah..

:welcome: aboard and hope you find the support you need

:w:

Thank you very much. This story is touching and this man has miraculously been blessed by Allah, he is extremely lucky and he shall praise Allah day and night for this.

A friend of mine from highschool, a muslim brother, had asked me out when we were like 16. He wasnt a big believer in Allah, let alone islam. I wore the hijab and prayed five times a day. I said no, ofcourse coz I dont "go out" with men.

We got closer as I taught him about Allah and Islam (all during class etc). He started to fast and believe in Allah. The thing is, he was a bit different...a very effeminite guy. All the mascline guys in my class would tease him and call him gay. But I knew he wasnt coz I knew he had harboured feelings towards me before and he would tell me about his crushes in class and stuff.

As the years went on, we reached our final year in school. My friend turned around one day and told me he had realised he was gay all along. His family found out and it didnt go down very well. I made the mistake of telling hm it was ok and that I didnt mind what he was.

A year or so later he contacted me and told me he wanted to marry me. That while he was homosexual, he still wanted a proper marriage and that I was the girl he wanted as his wife. I told him he was silly and that I dont knw of any girl who wud marry a guy knowing that he would be practicing homosexuality.

I came across this guy a year after that, only to find that he had denounced his faith. It broke my heart.

This guy was a heterosexual in the beginning. He wanted to continue heterosexuality even when he was homosexually inclined. This shows that heterosexuality is and can become natural in men who are inclined towards men.

You can turn this around coz you are meant to. And inshallah you will.

Can anyone answer for me is it haram to have homosexual feelings if you do not practice homosexual acts?

Interesting story, but you should also bear in mind that bisexuality exists, homosexuality and heterosexuality are not the only sexual orientations. So I suppose this guy is bi, who knows.

:sl: sis Skye.

I don't think I have ever read an article like that before. Masha'Allah.

Brother, I hope it will give you some hope insha'Allah.

Neither did I. And thank you so much for your support :thumbs_up

People, I seize this chance to tell you something to all of you, all of you who are straight, thank Allah for being so, I suppose you do not even consider it, but trust me if you were gay or lesbian things would have been completely different. As a gay, heterosexuality is privilege !

[Eliphaz]

Dear Musliman,

There is nothing wrong with being gay - you were born that way and it is something people who are born 'straight' will never understand. Do not beat yourself up or feel that you are somehow lesser than anyone else because of your sexuality or that God is angry with you. He made you this way, He understands the feelings you have. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you and I hope that you find your happiness.

All the best

[Musliman]

Dear Musliman,

There is nothing wrong with being gay - you were born that way and it is something people who are born 'straight' will never understand. Do not beat yourself up or feel that you are somehow lesser than anyone else because of your sexuality or that God is angry with you. He made you this way, He understands the feelings you have. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you and I hope that you find your happiness.

All the best

Wow, thank you infinitely for this dear Eliphaz, your message has enormously touched me. You are really understanding . And you said it right, many straight people will never understand or accept it. I only wish everyone were like you. :statisfie Thank you so much again !

[Alpha Dude]

Bro, in this day and age, you get terms like bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual etc which all seek to classify people into sets. These are all man made labels. Don't concentrate too much on them and don't seek to identify yourself as being a 'gay'. I'm hetero and I don't define myself by my orientation and neither should you. Think only in terms of what is and isn't a sin.

If you find yourself lusting after males, think of it as a sin that you must work on from not committing in future. Don't assume it is something in your nature. Just like if I was to tell lies a lot, I wouldn't identify myself as a born liar.

I realise it must be difficult for you. InshaAllah you are able to cope better!

[Uthman]

:salamext:

I highly recommend reading this excellent article on dealing with homosexual urges: Dealing with Homosexual Urges

[جوري]

Br. Musliman.. I urge you in dealing with this, if desiring the Islamic approach to follow the advise of your brothers and sisters in Islam. No one is born this way!.. anymore than you are born to love mary over sarah, we choose the person we bed.

I appreciate that it is a psychological desire, but not a biological one.. with the help of Allah swt and your fellow Muslims, you can overcome this and have a normal life..

I would like for you to join the support group that the brother in the link I included provided to help Muslims with these unnatural urges..

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers insha'Allah..

:w:

[جوري]

btw as an addendum:
I had a friend who alleged to be lesbian for the longest time, and had a girlfriend ten years her senior, and after being so in love she eventually dumped her for a man.
and it happens all the time, that actress Anne Heche alleged to be a lesbian had a long extensive relationship with another lesbian and then got married and had a child...

I don't know what to tell you, but 'feelings' come and go, you can let them control you or you can control them..Allah swt created you in a dignified state and has made women a friend/confidant and companion to men and vice versa, don't choose to humiliate yourself by doing lewd things with other men. You can love your brothers in Islam but loving someone doesn't mean lusting after them..

Again, I hope insha'Allah, that Allah swt helps you and quells your anguish.
Let me give you the best advise I can whenever I am overcome with sadness or despair. Fast to Allah swt.. there is an incredible cure in fast and prayers if you'd completely surrender your will to Allah swt..

:w:

[Asiyaah]

Dear Musliman, welcome to the forum :)

I'm a revert to Islam so my islamic knowledge is very limited.

I personally don't think someone can just stop being gay, this is my opinion. I have a lot of gay friends and they are very dear to me. From my understanding it is the act of sodomy which makes homosexuality a sin. There is no one who can tell you they are feel from sin. We all struggle with sin. It was Allah's will that made you the way you are and it is only Allah that can judge you. Allah knows your heart and knows your struggles.

I can only imagine how hard it is for your in Islam when you feel the rejection from the ummah. :( Jesus (pbuh) was recorded saying that he who is without sin can cast the first stone towards the adulterous woman.

May Allah guide you to a community that will accept you. May Allah help guide you away from sin and remove the desires to sin from your heart.

[Musliman]

Bro, in this day and age, you get terms like bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual etc which all seek to classify people into sets. These are all man made labels. Don't concentrate too much on them and don't seek to identify yourself as being a 'gay'. I'm hetero and I don't define myself by my orientation and neither should you. Think only in terms of what is and isn't a sin.

If you find yourself lusting after males, think of it as a sin that you must work on from not committing in future. Don't assume it is something in your nature. Just like if I was to tell lies a lot, I wouldn't identify myself as a born liar.

I realise it must be difficult for you. InshaAllah you are able to cope better!

I agree in some way, but still, I cannot blindfold my eyes and suppose that everything is Ok, I must be realistic ! Sorry to say this but the comparison you gave doesn't match, this is what I want straight people to understand, sexual orientation is "never-changing" and I have always had a lust after males since my very early childhood !

I never unfold my sexual orientation publicly, I entered this board in order to seek help and moral support :)

:salamext:

I highly recommend reading this excellent on dealing with homosexual urges: Dealing with Homosexual Urges

Thank you for the link bro :)

Br. Musliman.. I urge you in dealing with this, if desiring the Islamic approach to follow the advise of your brothers and sisters in Islam. No one is born this way!.. anymore than you are born to love mary over sarah, we choose the person we bed.

I appreciate that it is a psychological desire, but not a biological one.. with the help of Allah swt and your fellow Muslims, you can overcome this and have a normal life..

I would like for you to join the support group that the brother in the link I included provided to help Muslims with these unnatural urges..

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers insha'Allah..

:w:

To be honest, regardless of all what has been said, in science, philosophy and all, we still cannot define the nature of sexual orientation. Maybe Allah made it biological as a test, who knows ?

Get da **** out of here u stupid **** on one side u take allahs name and say im muslim and the other side ur saying im gay bcoz of u ****ing u kinda people mulsim has bad name stupid ******* I KNOW SOME 1 WILL BAN ME FOR THIS SO GET ON WITH IT

Thankfully, fellow Muslims here have shown diplomacy , support and respect. I can't tolerate homophobia :hmm:

btw as an addendum:
I had a friend who alleged to be lesbian for the longest time, and had a girlfriend ten years her senior, and after being so in love she eventually dumped her for a man.
and it happens all the time, that actress Anne Heche alleged to be a lesbian had a long extensive relationship with another lesbian and then got married and had a child...

I don't know what to tell you, but 'feelings' come and go, you can let them control you or you can control them..Allah swt created you in a dignified state and has made women a friend/confidant and companion to men and vice versa, don't choose to humiliate yourself by doing lewd things with other men. You can love your brothers in Islam but loving someone doesn't mean lusting after them..

Again, I hope insha'Allah, that Allah swt helps you and quells your anguish.
Let me give you the best advise I can whenever I am overcome with sadness or despair. Fast to Allah swt.. there is an incredible cure in fast and prayers if you'd completely surrender your will to Allah swt..

:w:

That gives me certainly hope, thank you so much my dear for this :)

Dear Musliman, welcome to the forum :)

I'm a revert to Islam so my islamic knowledge is very limited.

I personally don't think someone can just stop being gay, this is my opinion. I have a lot of gay friends and they are very dear to me. From my understanding it is the act of sodomy which makes homosexuality a sin. There is no one who can tell you they are feel from sin. We all struggle with sin. It was Allah's will that made you the way you are and it is only Allah that can judge you. Allah knows your heart and knows your struggles.

I can only imagine how hard it is for your in Islam when you feel the rejection from the ummah. :( Jesus (pbuh) was recorded saying that he who is without sin can cast the first stone towards the adulterous woman.

May Allah guide you to a community that will accept you. May Allah help guide you away from sin and remove the desires to sin from your heart.

That's true ! Sodomy is Haram, not only within gays but straight people as well. I'm totally convinced that Allah knows about me, then, I will do my possible. Thank you very much for your support !


I hope mentalities will change in the future Inchallah :)

[جوري]

To be honest, regardless of all what has been said, in science, philosophy and all, we still cannot define the nature of sexual orientation. Maybe Allah made it biological as a test, who knows ?

There is nothing to support that it is biological or even genetic in nature, I am aware of the articles where they alleged an isolation on a sex chromosome, but it was inconclusive and I have posted an article on the matter. It is still a condition that is taught exclusively in psychology/psychiatry but not biology or genetics.. I will however, agree with you that what you feel is a test from Allah swt, as we are tried in many different ways:

[Pickthal 2:155] And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast

(3:186) Ye shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and ye shall certainly hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if ye persevere patiently, and guard against evil, then that will be a determining factor in all affairs.

:w:

[Musliman]

There is nothing to support that it is biological or even genetic in nature, I am aware of the articles where they alleged an isolation on a sex chromosome, but it was inconclusive and I have posted an article on the matter. It is still a condition that is taught exclusively in psychology/psychiatry but not biology or genetics.. I will however, agree with you that what you feel is a test from Allah swt, as we are tried in many different ways:

[Pickthal 2:155] And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast

(3:186) Ye shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and ye shall certainly hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if ye persevere patiently, and guard against evil, then that will be a determining factor in all affairs.

:w:

Thank you for the Koranic verses dear Gossamer, and speaking about its nature no one knows for sure, and no one can define its origin, at least for the moment being ;)


I have read Uthmān's article, interesting but I do not agree with the author, what does sexual orientation have to do with sexual images ? Homosexuality has existed since humanity, and LGBT people make up approx. 10% of any population, of any time, anywhere, no matter what.

[جوري]

Thank you for the Koranic verses dear Gossamer, and speaking about its nature no one knows for sure, and no one can define its origin, at least for the moment being ;)


I have read Uthmān's article, interesting but I do not agree with the author, what does sexual orientation have to do with sexual images ? Homosexuality has existed since humanity, and LGBT people make up approx. 10% of any population, of any time, anywhere, no matter what.

That is true, but that is also true for any personality disorder in any given population:
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/294307-overview

.. no one for instance classifies Schizotypal personality disorder as a normal variant, or contends that it doesn't exist, rather that it occurs in a certain percentage and help is given should one seek it.

and I think that is all anyone can tell you here, is that, this is a deviation from the norm, and we recognize that you truly are feeling what you are feeling, but that you shouldn't give in to the desires of the lower self and choose what God has decreed for man-kind...

and I sincerely hope that you will..

:w:

[abu salaahudeen]

could your surrounding have an influence or people who you associate??

[Musliman]

That is true, but that is also true for any personality disorder in any given population:
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/294307-overview

.. no one for instance classifies Schizotypal personality disorder as a normal variant, or contends that it doesn't exist, rather that it occurs in a certain percentage and help is given should one seek it.

and I think that is all anyone can tell you here, is that, this is a deviation from the norm, and we recognize that you truly are feeling what you are feeling, but that you shouldn't give in to the desires of the lower self and choose what God has decreed for man-kind...

and I sincerely hope that you will..

:w:

Yeah, I can't agree more, may Allah bring peace upon you :)

could your surrounding have an influence or people who you associate??

I do not think so, as I have said, I found this about me in my very early childhood. And my surrounding cannot influence me, AFAIK, I am under the pression of openly imposing straight people only.

[Alpha Dude]

I agree in some way, but still, I cannot blindfold my eyes and suppose that everything is Ok, I must be realistic ! Sorry to say this but the comparison you gave doesn't match, this is what I want straight people to understand, sexual orientation is "never-changing" and I have always had a lust after males since my very early childhood !

Bro, I'm not saying blindfold yourself. I appreciate that it must be very hard for you.

The main point is: from birth, we are all conditioned (by schools, media etc) into believing that homosexuality is an 'alternative' to hetero and that it is in fact a defining feature. Islam says otherwise.

So, as a person with strong faith in Islam, never think of yourself as being different to others - a 'gay'. Just assume you have a very strong inclination toward doing a particular type of sin. Nothing more. Don't seek to group yourself.

I never unfold my sexual orientation publicly, I entered this board in order to seek help and moral support :)

I understand. The most important step (which I'm sure you've done/will continue to do) is to realise that sexual lust for the same sex and any action taken based on that lust will most definitely be a sin. Never try to make excuses, like 'Allah made me like this, thus if I do give in, it should be ok'. Be vigilant against shaytan. Don't mingle with other 'gay' inclined people who are the 'proud about it, shout about it' kind. They will say how homosexuality is all ok and inevitably shaytan will play on your insecurities and make you think it's ok too. Believe it or not, there's muslims out there who say it's ok to be (practicing) homosexuals. Know that this is completely unacceptable and never fall victim to such thinking.

May Allah make it easy for you bro, ameen. :)

[Musliman]

could your surrounding have an influence or people who you associate??

Furthermore, things have already been established, it is too late anyway...

[hanif_]

:sl:

Gossamer Skye:

Isn't this thread covered in the Health and Science under Homosexuality that is closed you hosted?

[جوري]

:sl:

Gossamer Skye:

Isn't this thread covered in the Health and Science under Homosexuality that is closed you hosted?

No, I didn't host it, it was split off from another section where a non-muslim interjected an ongoing topic with his rant on homosexuality, where I was the first to reply, hence it appears I am the OP, but I am not..

:w:

[Musliman]

Bro, I'm not saying blindfold yourself. I appreciate that it must be very hard for you.

The main point is: from birth, we are all conditioned (by schools, media etc) into believing that homosexuality is an 'alternative' to hetero and that it is in fact a defining feature. Islam says otherwise.

So, as a person with strong faith in Islam, never think of yourself as being different to others - a 'gay'. Just assume you have a very strong inclination toward doing a particular type of sin. Nothing more. Don't seek to group yourself.

I understand. The most important step (which I'm sure you've done/will continue to do) is to realise that sexual lust for the same sex and any action taken based on that lust will most definitely be a sin. Never try to make excuses, like 'Allah made me like this, thus if I do give in, it should be ok'. Be vigilant against shaytan. Don't mingle with other 'gay' inclined people who are the 'proud about it, shout about it' kind. They will say how homosexuality is all ok and inevitably shaytan will play on your insecurities and make you think it's ok too. Believe it or not, there's muslims out there who say it's ok to be (practicing) homosexuals. Know that this is completely unacceptable and never fall victim to such thinking.

May Allah make it easy for you bro, ameen. :)

I see what you mean. And FYI, there are some well known figures such as Amina Wadud who was the first woman in America to lead khoutbat al Joumoua, and who also decided to legalize same-sex marriage in Islam. I have also seen a case (in the media) of male couple who married just by reading Fatiha in a Muslim country. But I am wholeheartedly against this, Islam must not be distorted !

[Alpha Dude]

I see what you mean. And FYI, there are some well known figures such as Amina Wadud who was the first woman in America to lead khoutbat al Joumoua, and who also decided to legalize same-sex marriage in Islam. I have also seen a case (in the media) of male couple who married just by reading Fatiha in a Muslim country. But I am wholeheartedly against this, Islam must not be distorted !

Yeahh, I've heard of such groups/people. MashaAllah, it's good that you recognise what they say as being a distortion.

[CosmicPathos]

Dear Musliman, welcome to the forum :)

I'm a revert to Islam so my islamic knowledge is very limited.

I personally don't think someone can just stop being gay, this is my opinion. I have a lot of gay friends and they are very dear to me. From my understanding it is the act of sodomy which makes homosexuality a sin. There is no one who can tell you they are feel from sin. We all struggle with sin. It was Allah's will that made you the way you are and it is only Allah that can judge you. Allah knows your heart and knows your struggles.

I can only imagine how hard it is for your in Islam when you feel the rejection from the ummah. :( Jesus (pbuh) was recorded saying that he who is without sin can cast the first stone towards the adulterous woman.

May Allah guide you to a community that will accept you. May Allah help guide you away from sin and remove the desires to sin from your heart.

Off topic correction.
Sorry to say but the supposed narration of Jesus pbuh is not accurate. It was added later on in the scriptures. Listen to what Dr. Dirks has to say about this supposedly "lovey dovey" narration.. He graduated from Harvard divinity school.

:wa:

[Musliman]

Yeahh, I've heard of such groups/people. MashaAllah, it's good that you recognise what they say as being a distortion.

Of course ! You know not all GLB people support same-sex marriage, even amongst non-Muslim Western ones; many of them dream to convert heterosexuality. BTW, I am against any kind of distortion of the Holy Quran. I ask for Allah for his benediction and forgiveness and I do my best, that's it.

You're more lovely :) You're post really affected me alot (I won't probably get a sleep today :D). I prayed for you straight away after praying.



Bro I'm SURE this isn't easy for you at all... You must face quite a fitnah in your life :cry: I find it brave enough for you to come here and share this with us, But please don't turn you're feelings into acts for I'm really worried about you. May Allah grant you patience imsad

Know that homosexuality is a big sin, but also know that this was decreed by Allah SWT. Maybe you're attraction to the same sex is something you can't affect, but you certainly can affect your acts (+ the way you deal with it=) :)

I undrestand that homosexuality certainly isn't something you can just "put-off", but maybe you could somehow little by little try to move on. Take it very slowly and ask Allah's help, Allah is thankful for every try and you will be rewarded for every single atom.

May Allah grant you paradise and keep you on the straight path
In your opinion, do you think that getting married is something that will help you in controlling your desires?
Later if you leave this thread, I'm gonna miss you alot :D I also thank very much

Oh ! Thank you very very much for your support, again and again, it touched me, may Allah reward you :)

BTW, I can also notice that you are from Finland, no wonder why you are so open-minded, understanding and kind ! :rock:

I will do my best and best to abstain from same sex relations ! And regarding marriage, your question is quite challenging, for me, marriage = love, and to love female . So if only I can fall in love with a woman, marriage would not be a problem to m, hopefully Allah will accept my demand someday.

I am also extremely grateful to the rest of the fellow sisters and brothers here who brought me hope and ambitions, and I am also nicely surprised by your acceptation and welcoming. Al Hamdoulillah :)

[alcurad]

welcome to the forum brother :)

can't stop thinking about this every second of my life, I am exhausted imsad

you know that^ needs to stop before you can resolve anything, like any desire it'll simply go away once you've stopped stressing over it too much, hope this helps.

[Musliman]

welcome to the forum brother :)

you know that^ needs to stop before you can resolve anything, like any desire it'll simply go away once you've stopped stressing over it too much, hope this helps.

Thanks for your advice and welcome, I will try to think less and less about it, but believe me I can't help it much :)

[cat eyes]

so brother you can't control these desires at all? sorry if this question is inappropriate i just want to try and understand this thats all :) have u never been attracted to girls at all in your whole life? be truthful:) because if you have this means its only the shaytan bro as somebody else said in this thread a lesbian dumped her girlfriend for a man so that just goes to show how cunning shaytan really is and how he pushes and pushes people to do major sins for years and fuel desires in a person.

[جوري]

:sl:
I don't know if I have already written this here, but try fasting.. Whenever I have some thought that I obsess over and it is killing me inside, I fast until Allah swt resolves it for me..


and Allah swt knows best

:w:

[Italianguy]

There is a tv special on now. Not sure what channel? called " Gay Muslim" not sure if you saw it. I know that being gay is a major sin in Christianity as well, ....I think it is in all the major world veiws or religions.

['Abd-al Latif]

This topic has been discussed many times in the past. Please use the search feature to search for the older threads. You may contribute there.

P.S

Just so you know, this is what the Qur'an says:

And (remember) Loot (Lot), when he said to his people: ‘Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed in the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)?

‘Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins).’

And the answer of his people was only that they said: ‘Drive them out of your town, these are indeed men who want to be pure (from sins)!’

Then We saved him and his family, except his wife; she was of those who remained behind (in the torment).

And We rained down on them a rain (of stones). Then see what was the end of the Mujrimoon (criminals, polytheists and sinners)”

[A'raaf 7:80-84]

And also:

“Verily, by your life (O Muhammad), in their wild intoxication, they were wandering blindly.

So As‑Saihah (torment — awful cry) overtook them at the time of sunrise.

And We turned (the towns of Sodom in Palestine) upside down and rained down on them stones of baked clay.

Surely, in this are signs for those who see (or understand or learn the lessons from the Signs of Allaah).

And verily, they (the cities) were right on the highroad (from Makkah to Syria, i.e. the place where the Dead Sea is now)”

[al-Hijr 15:72-76]

:threadclo