Sibling Rivalry and Jealousy

[S<Chowdhury]

:sl: Brothers and Sister,


My question is how do you handle sibling rivalry/jealousy, can you actually even stop it from occurring ? I am not talking about the usual small fights that usually do occur between brothers and sisters,i mean the proper full out war between them from fighting to slandering each other etc..... I've seen it occur a few times with my mates Brother who actually at one point pulled a knife on his own brother due to this jealousy he had.

So again my question is how do you as parents address this issue when your siblings just don't seem to get along?

[Beardo]

Parents are required to treat their children equally to prevent sibling jealousy and rivalry.

[Uthman]

:salamext:

This might help: Lessons From Surah Yusuf – Part 1: Sibling Rivalry

[cat eyes]

:sl: i think you cant stop jealousy in people no matter what you do...

My parents treated my 3brothers the same but did that stop them from fighting with each other? hell no, i dont like when people blame the parents when theres parents out there who are literally drove insane trying to make there kids get along. they cause mental illness and heart attacks to there elders.

There was nights where my dad nearly got a punch in the face because my brothers were fighting and my dad was in the middle trying to control the situation there was nights where my mum would be flung across the room trying to stop them from fighting... of course they didnt mean to push her out of the way but thats how it was when they would fight and it caused my mum awful tension.

Now after she died, its worse..so my dad blames them for my mums death when hes had a few drinks..

so i think it causes so much problems sibling rivalry.

Alhamdulilah me and my sis get along :nervous: our fights only last for 5mints then we start chatting again ;D

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[PouringRain]

I think when children are young, there are things you can do to help them grow to not be jealous or how to handle their jealousy, but once an individual reaches a certain point in their life, they must then be responsible for their own feelings and actions. At that point, there is nothing you can do to influence their jealousy other than to encourage them (not encourage the jealousy), be a friend to them, show them scripture, talk to them, etc. Beyond that, it is out of your control, and how they feel or what they do is on them.

[waqas maqsood]

If such cases do arise, its best to seperate them from each other, to basically move out and make their own life...

Got to learn the hard way..

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
tell then to grow up.

[Beardo]

:sl:
tell then to grow up.

That's not always the solution though. Sometimes parents do tend to be bias. And that's wrong on many levels. What's fair for one is fair for all.

[waqas maqsood]

Ohhh Classic Example: -

My parents are always bias between the girls and the boys...

My sisters tend to get everything, more love, anything they ask for...

Whenever I ask my parents they are unfair.. They always have the same answer...

YOU'RE SISTERS ARE LIKE GUESTS, THEY'LL BE GONE WHEN THEY ARE MARRIED!

Why do I have to suffer?

[Beardo]

^ I don't have any sisters. but don't they do all the chores? :X It's a balance. :X

[S<Chowdhury]

YOU'RE SISTERS ARE LIKE GUESTS, THEY'LL BE GONE WHEN THEY ARE MARRIED!

^^^^^^^^^ hey that the answer i get from my parents ;D

[-Fallen Angel-]

^^^^^^^^^ hey that the answer i get from my parents ;D

lol
relative to the topic... my brothers are VERY jealous and big rivalry between each other.. although they all unite togather to hate meimsad
But they don't say nothing to my face because they would end up in A&E ;D or because i have a machete. :p

[-Fallen Angel-]

I think your mate needs a bigger knife than his brother, then his brother will think twice

[S<Chowdhury]

Oh great all we need is more blood shed in this world, enough youths run around with guns and knives, now I'm disappointed :p Hmm my mate is to loyal to his family to go and knife his own brother.

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Ohhh Classic Example: -

My parents are always bias between the girls and the boys...

My sisters tend to get everything, more love, anything they ask for...

Whenever I ask my parents they are unfair.. They always have the same answer...

YOU'RE SISTERS ARE LIKE GUESTS, THEY'LL BE GONE WHEN THEY ARE MARRIED!

Why do I have to suffer?

Dont be such a crybaby brother, not to be rude or anything. ;D
We actually go through more pain than you guys. Wish I had that kind of treatment. But little bro gets that, prince Mohammed! Its reality, you dont have to like it, i dont either.
And besides after they are married you will have the kingdom for yourself. You can wonder around in your Elvissuit if you like to. ;D

And to answer the question of this thread. Keyword is attention. Somebody close to the kid should have a talk with him. Someone who doesnt take sides and with whom the kid feels safe with to share this stuff with. Something is bothering him and it aint just jealousy, these things tend to have some sort of soil where the grass of jealousy grows on. You figuire that out and you can find a way to "solve" it.

Maybe the kid is seen as the black sheep of the family. If you friend is a goodguy and his parents praise him for it you have a situation in which jealousy can easy turn up. So..im tired.:exhausted Under this kids jealousy could be a shortage of attention, compliments and appreciation from the parents. Solution: The parents should treat the kids equally and give more attention to the jealous kid. Same with little kids getting a new sibbling.

^ I don't have any sisters. but don't they do all the chores? :X It's a balance. :X

Not fair by the way...

Salaam

[-Fallen Angel-]

Oh great all we need is more blood shed in this world, enough youths run around with guns and knives, now I'm disappointed. Hmm my mate is to loyal to his family to go and knife his own brother.

I meant he should just buy a bigger knife than his brothers, and then the next time his bro pulls his wee little breadknife out, your mate can take out his bigger one.. i don't think his brother will try and stab him then. Of course i didn't mean that they should fight, you imbecile. ;D

[S<Chowdhury]

I meant he should just buy a bigger knife than his brothers, and then the next time his bro pulls his wee little breadknife out, your mate can take out his bigger one.. i don't think his brother will try and stab him then. Of course i didn't mean that they should fight, you imbecile. ;D

Its a fact you nutter if you carry a knife around more likely you will use it in a tough situation

[-Fallen Angel-]

Its a fact you nutter if you carry a knife around more likely you will use it in a tough situation

What i meant was his brother will get scared cus he will have a bigger knife...
Would you fight somebody with a machete while you have a bread knife? I think not.

Off topic: I have a machete but i've never used it (yet) :p

[S<Chowdhury]

What i meant was his brother will get scared cus he will have a bigger knife...
Would you fight somebody with a machete while you have a bread knife? I think not.

Off topic: I have a machete but i've never used it (yet) :p

I don't care cause if he's wielding a knife he ain't no man and yeah i would fight him regardless if i had the bigger weapon or not, not about size now we are really going off topic.

Your not solving the problem by buying a bigger knife i think sister Nashia is right that you need to address the issue at hand instead of resorting to violence like a imbecile :p

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ Just wanted to say hahahaahahhahahaahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahha haha
Now im even more tired...breadknife

[-Fallen Angel-]

^^ Just wanted to say hahahaahahhahahaahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahha haha
Now im even more tired...bredknife LOL

Not that funny.

I don't care cause if he's wielding a knife he ain't no man and yeah i would fight him regardless if i had the bigger weapon or not, not about size now we are really going off topic.

Your not solving the problem by buying a bigger knife i think sister Nashia is right that you need to address the issue at hand instead of resorting to violence like a imbecile :p

somebody attempted to mug me once with one, and another person in high school tried stabbing me mate with a screw driver.
Yea, his parents need to sit down and have a talk with him and his brother. They must be pretty stupid for letting this go on, but the kids are to blame (or at least your friend) if he didn't tell anybody.