Originally Posted by sadsister
Marriage is a long and touch road, there is much after marriage which you don't forsee when you make your vows.
Firstly sister, calm your mind, make special prayers, wudu, 2 rakats, make dua and ask God in your own way to guide you to what is good and right for you.
Secondly, try to take some time away from confrontation with your husband, if he is in the house, you can be there and you can remind yourself of your duty to him and to your children.
This does not mean accept bad treatment but means, remove your mind from any suspicion, any bad feeling.
Cook his meals, clean the house, tidy the house, have your fellow sisters to come and sit with you, wash the children, take them to school or to the park and come back and sit with them read the Qu'ran to them, read them their story book etc.
If he goes out to work then make sure his food is ready when he comes back and bathroom ready with towels for him.
Greet him, say how was your day, shall I run a bath for you. Text him if he has mobile during the day, ask him, what he wants for his dinner, cook it.
Try to avoid him if he comes home early evening except to organise his bath, lay the table with his food before he finishes the bath.
Go away, leave him to eat, settle your children to bed, clean the bath, clean the toilet, go to the table, ask him, how was dinner, clear the table, go to the kitchen, do the washing up, take your time clean your kitchen.
Go to the room, shake down the covers, go make your wudu, go check on the children, go to the living area and sit in the room with him, shake your mat, pray, when you finish, ask if he wants any ironing for his clothes and if he wants anything else if he says no, then say ok, good night, go to your bed, make sure you dress in a way that makes you feel good and lie down, make a hot drink of milk, chocolate or horlicks, drink it, take your Qu'ran or prayer book and read or take a notebook, write some words about your hopes, dreams aspirations, and so on.
Remove your mind from his actions, if he says leave the bed, go sleep on your mat, if he says don't sleep in the lounge, go sleep on the floor in your children's room. Hold your tongue, hold your head high, leave him to do as he pleases.
Do not let him provoke you to speak strongly or to have any exchange, busy yourself, go do something, if he comes to you and starts to talk and you think its is going badly, quickly say you need to go to the toilet and sit there for long and then open the door and say sorry my husband, I am stooling, my stomach is aching, give me some time to finish.
When you come out go to see him, tell him you feel desperately tired, does he have any paracetamol or something, pretend you feel a bit unwell and ask him in a feeble voice to continue with his conversation.
Do not allow anything he does to upset you, hold a quiet countennance and counsel with Allah.
Hold your corner, retain your faith, do not allow him to bring shaytan under your roof, try this for a week, you will see that if he is a God fearing man of good upbringing; once he realises you are not noticing him or ignoring him except to provide your basic wifely duties, he will begin to look at himself and examine himself and realise what he stands to lose if he mistreats you.