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Ummu Sufyaan
04-09-2010, 11:29 AM
:sl:
if you fear some harm from a Muslim, eg them affecting your iman or they spread lies about you (and consequently you utterly loathing them) can you cut them off?

what is the ruling of this and even if you aren't allowed, what is the very least you can do towards them without compromising your iman or dignity.
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Woodrow
04-09-2010, 07:27 PM
:sl:


These words and/or actions that cause you pain, did they destroy you in the past? You are still in existence, why the concern they may destroy you in the future?

We can not control the actions, thoughts or words of others, we can control our own words, thoughts and actions. Perhaps it is best to concentrate on controlling our own selves and be certain we are doing our best to please Allaah(swt). If we do that we need not concern or worry about what others say or believe about us. Lies will only harm us if we act in a manner to give credibility to the lies.
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freethinking
04-09-2010, 08:31 PM
Well said Woodrow

In fact Jesus also said if your enemmy smitesd your check turn around and offer the other one. I have done this and found that once this is done the enemy can hardly touch me

Bless you
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Woodrow
04-09-2010, 09:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by freethinking
Well said Woodrow

In fact Jesus also said if your enemmy smitesd your check turn around and offer the other one. I have done this and found that once this is done the enemy can hardly touch me

Bless you
Thank You freethinking. Jesus(as) is a very wise and much loved Prophet. Many of us came to Islam because of his words we have read in the books of Mark, Matthew Luke and John. The beauty would be to see his original words as revealed in the original Aramaic as he said them.
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islamirama
04-09-2010, 10:23 PM
Wa'alaikum as'salaam,

if there is someone who can harm you whether in your iman, character or other ways than you have the right defend yourself, even if it means keep your distance from them.

Here's something similar on kin, if you can keep your distance and keep ties in limited fashion with kin than why not non-kin?

Some relatives may cause the one who upholds ties with them to fall into sin, especially if he is unable to change the evil that they are doing. They may insist – for example – on listening to music and mixing and indulging in swearing, mocking and backbiting. Such people have an effect on their visitors and the one who seeks to uphold ties with them. The Muslim has to advise his relatives as much as he is able to. They are more entitled to this advice than others, but only if that will benefit them, whether he is certain of that or thinks it most likely. But if he sees that they are persisting in sin and especially major sins, and that is affecting his faith and religious commitment, then it is sufficient for him to uphold ties with them in the minimum fashion, so that he will not be severing the ties of kinship. So instead of visiting them, he can just call them on the phone, and if he visits them he does not have to stay for long, and so on.



But this should after trying his best to advise them and exhort them and bring them back to the right way, as well as turning to Allaah in du’aa’, asking Him to guide them to the straight path.



islamqa.com
And if it's not a kin and just a muslim...
Try to look for righteous friends who can help you to adhere to the truth. Beware of sitting with bad companions, for Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):



“And it has already been revealed to you in the Book (this Qur’aan) that when you hear the Verses of Allaah being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them. Surely, Allaah will collect the hypocrites and disbelievers all together in Hell” [al-Nisa’ 4:140]



And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Islam Q&A
also, check out this:

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/11266/
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Hamza Asadullah
04-09-2010, 10:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:
if you fear some harm from a Muslim, eg them affecting your iman or they spread lies about you (and consequently you utterly loathing them) can you cut them off?

what is the ruling of this and even if you aren't allowed, what is the very least you can do towards them without compromising your iman or dignity.
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazakallah khayran for this question as it may apply to all of us at some point in our lives.

One of the most important things we must do, which sadly many people neglect, is that we should avoid bad company. People we should avoid taking as friends those who speak too freely, who miss Salah, who do not dress modestly, who backbite, slander etc.

The company of such people is poison; just even sitting and talking with them will lead one to commit sins. Just as a person who sits for a long time with a perfume seller begins to smell nice, and a person who sits by a gutter cleaner begins to smell awful, similarly a person who spends time in the company of the wicked eventually gets affected badly by them.

Rather, we should seek out pious friends who fear Allah taala and who have the qualities of humility, charity, compassion, modesty and knowledge. If we sit with them we will always benefit and they will be a means for us to get closer to Allah taala!

The Prophet (saws) said, “The case of the good companion and the bad companion is like that of the seller of musk and the blower of the bellows (iron-smith). As for the seller of musk, he will either give you some of the musk, or you will purchase some from him, or at least you will come away having experienced its good smell. Whereas the blower of the bellows will either burn your clothing, or at least you will come away having experienced its repugnant smell.” [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

If anyone has a friend who indulges in haraam and evil then we should tell them at once using wisdom and tact that they must abstain from such evils. One must also stop keeping company with them at once but see them now and again to give them dawah in a most beautiful of manners. One can also send e mail now and again and weekly text messages reminding them of death and the hereafter for death is the destroyer of all evils.

Remember: “All friends will be enemies of one another on that Day (Day of Judgment) except those of the virtuous.” (al-Qur’an 43:67)

So a friend who indulges in evil will be our enemy on the day of judgement therefore we must abstain from keeping company with them as our imaan is our priority, but see them now and again for the purpose of dawah and also send them weekly Islamic e mail and texts as reminders. Not forgetting one should make dua for them so that they may be given guidance from Allah as we are merely informers and Allah is the one who guides.

and Allah knows best in all matters
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