Cheating

[EllyDicious]

- What would you do if your husband/wife cheated on you? Would you forgive them?
- Would you marry someone who has cheated a husband/wife/partner before?
- Have you ever been cheated / Did you ever cheat?

[PouringRain]

- What would you do if your husband/wife cheated on you? Would you forgive them?

I would forgive and move forward/ forget. If he was unrepentant and unwilling to stop then I would forgive, but end the marriage. Forgiving does not mean that you must allow yourself to be taken advantage of or walked all over.

- Would you marry someone who has cheated a husband/wife/partner before?

No.

- Have you ever been cheated / Did you ever cheat?

I have never cheated. I have been cheated on many times. I always forgave.

[EllyDicious]

I have never cheated. I have been cheated on many times. I always forgave.

Oh my God, howcome you would always forgive?? How could you stand that?? I don't want to imagine the suffering you must have been through! :(

If I were you, I'd leave him right away!

[aadil77]

Would you marry someone who has cheated a husband/wife/partner before?
- Have you ever been cheated / Did you ever cheat?

How would someone know if the person they're marrying has cheated on a partner before?
Why would anyone on this forum admit to cheating on someone before?

Islamically you're not meant to reveal you're sins, they're between you and Allah, so no one here should be revealing anything

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[Missinglinks]

I would forgive and move forward/ forget. If he was unrepentant and unwilling to stop then I would forgive, but end the marriage. Forgiving does not mean that you must allow yourself to be taken advantage of or walked all over.



No.



I have never cheated. I have been cheated on many times. I always forgave.

here is a very beautiful story, it reminds me of what you said "always forgive"

it begins in the middle of the story, so I give you what happened before.
The man cheated her with the girl. The woman entered in when they "did it', but they didn't see her,
so she sneaked out, and she bear patience, and forgave him.. then the next day or so, she fired the maid and fooled her man.
see the movie for the end of the story! I really wish that your man becomes like this man due to you!



if you like, you can look up also the other parts, very beautiful serie... typ in the searchbar: Mahmoud Al Masry - Fornication

[EllyDicious]

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason, why should angels curse her the next morning?
WOman is not not an object in function of her man. That is so unfair.

How would someone know if the person they're marrying has cheated on a partner before?
Why would anyone on this forum admit to cheating on someone before?

Islamically you're not meant to reveal you're sins, they're between you and Allah, so no one here should be revealing anything

I don't think there's anything wrong accepting a mistake and repent about that mistake. We all make mistake. If someone loves your for real, he'll tell you what he did in his past because he wants to be sincere and honest with you.
If you find it out from the others , then he may not be the man you thought he was.

Also, there's nothing wrong in telling what mistake you did . People need to talk to each other so there's no need in keeping that secret between you and God.

If you, aadil, had a wife ....wouldn't you prefer her to tell you the truth rather than hide it from you while you could find it from the others??
Don't you like honest people? Wouldn't you appreciate her sincerity.? People commit sins but if every sin was between you and God, then we wouldn't know each other for what they really were, but for what they appeared to be ... and this is not a good sign.

[جوري]

If I were you, I'd leave him right away!

Elly are you interested in what you have to say or what other people have to say?
pouring rain as far as I know isn't Muslim so you are not in fact 'liberating her' with your drive through psychology.

if you start a thread asking people's opinions please don't come a mocking and telling them 'if I were you I'd do such and such' especially in light of your pathetic blunders on the other thread where you in fact accused me of 'telling people what to do, when no where in my post have I offered anything but a personal experience!
you don't know anything about her relationships or what kind of person she is or the circumstance under which she should forgive or burn at the stake.
why don't you mature and cultivate your style a little before creating threads clearly very egocentric from where the rest of us can see and project less on threads that aren't created with you in mind!

all the best

[EllyDicious]

Elly are you interested in what you have to say or what other people have to say?
pouring rain as far as I know isn't Muslim so you are not in fact 'liberating her' with your drive through psychology.

I'm not Muslim so you can't claim from me to act like one.

if you start a thread asking people's opinions please don't come a mocking and telling them 'if I were you I'd do such and such' especially in light of your pathetic blunders on the other thread where you in fact accused me of 'telling people what to do, when no where in my post have I offered anything but a personal experience!
you don't know anything about her relationships or what kind of person she is or the circumstance under which she should forgive or burn at the stake.
why don't you mature and cultivate your style a little before creating threads clearly very egocentric from where the rest of us can see and project less on threads that aren't created with you in mind!

This is a discussion forum so I'm free to ask/give opinions whether you like it or not.
In difference from you, I didn't tell her "don't do this or that". I just said "If I were you, I'd do this" which is more of an opinion rather than telling her what to do.


I can clearly see that everyone here is afraid of thoughts that come from people who don't share the same religion.

[aadil77]

I don't think there's anything wrong accepting a mistake and repent about that mistake. We all make mistake. If someone loves your for real, he'll tell you what he did in his past because he wants to be sincere and honest with you.
If you find it out from the others , then he may not be the man you thought he was.

Also, there's nothing wrong in telling what mistake you did . People need to talk to each other so there's no need in keeping that secret between you and God.

If you, aadil, had a wife ....wouldn't you prefer her to tell you the truth rather than hide it from you while you could find it from the others??
Don't you like honest people? Wouldn't you appreciate her sincerity.? People commit sins but if every sin was between you and God, then we wouldn't know each other for what they really were, but for what they appeared to be ... and this is not a good sign.

In islam we aren't meant to degrade ourselves, yes you can accept what you did was wrong and repent but you keep it to yourself. I don't think anyone would want to know their wifes past, it will only create more problems, you can't ask someone about their sins - its like how some people want to know if the person they're marrying is still a virgin, would you like to be faced with such questions, even if you've have never had any haraam relationships?

When you're marryin someone you should judge them on their character and piety, from this you'll get a basic understanding whether the person is the type to sleep around with others. Although you'll never be sure if they've had a bad past cause they might have changed, but if they repented and changed its none of your business to go round enquiring about their sins

[Cabdullahi]

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason,

If you love your husband why would you refuse him sex for no reason, it seems illogical ? why would you starve him.....would you rather entertain him or have him [Mod: edit]

[EllyDicious]

In islam we aren't meant to degrade ourselves, yes you can accept what you did was wrong and repent but you keep it to yourself. I don't think anyone would want to know their wifes past, it will only create more problems,

So you don't want to know if your wife slept around with other men?
You prefer to live in a marriage full of lies?

Nice.

[EllyDicious]

If you love your husband why would you refuse him sex for no reason, it seems illogical ? why would you starve him.....would you rather entertain him or have him

Also, the wife can be tired..it's normal. She could simply refuse her husband for one night. I don't think that's a big deal.

[جوري]

I'm not Muslim so you can't claim from me to act like one.

This makes no grammatical nor cohesive sense to the subject at hand!
I never accused you of being a Muslim and it is something that I am thankful for, for each Muslim is a representative of the religion and I certainly would be ashamed to have you represent us!

This is a discussion forum so I'm free to ask/give opinions whether you like it or not.

Indeed but it also makes you a hypocrite give your various diatribe all throughout this forum!

In difference from you, I didn't tell her "don't do this or that". I just said "If I were you, I'd do this" which is more of an opinion rather than telling her what to do.

rearrangement of words doesn't change the condescension merely the phraseology!

I can clearly see that everyone here is afraid of thoughts that come from people who don't share the same religion.

No, no one is afraid of 'thoughts that come from people who don't share the same religion' people are annoyed with your puerile jabs and ill-conceived mal-formed opinions which you for some reason seem to mistake for something other than idiotic braying of a bruised ego who is unable to defend her stance on with substance and sees fit to peddle the same tired line and pretentious humbug from last night's thirty minute sudser!

all the best

[CosmicPathos]

In islam we aren't meant to degrade ourselves, yes you can accept what you did was wrong and repent but you keep it to yourself. I don't think anyone would want to know their wifes past, it will only create more problems, you can't ask someone about their sins - its like how some people want to know if the person they're marrying is still a virgin, would you like to be faced with such questions, even if you've have never had any haraam relationships?

When you're marryin someone you should judge them on their character and piety, from this you'll get a basic understanding whether the person is the type to sleep around with others. Although you'll never be sure if they've had a bad past cause they might have changed, but if they repented and changed its none of your business to go round enquiring about their sins

bro, I hope this is not off topic. But I read somewhere that it is perfectly Islamic to ask the other person, in presence of mahram, if he/she is virgin or not. If a husband was told that her wife is a virgin, or vice versa, and after marriage it was shown that he/she is not, the other person is justified in asking for divorce. Please correct me if my understanding of Islamic ruling on this is wrong.

[EllyDicious]

Also, I forgot to ask, what are the consequences [in Islam], of a cheating partner?

[aadil77]

Also, I forgot to ask, what are the consequences [in Islam], of a cheating partner?

you get stoned to death :)

[PouringRain]

Oh my God, howcome you would always forgive?? How could you stand that?? I don't want to imagine the suffering you must have been through! :(

If I were you, I'd leave him right away!

I am divorced. Forgiveness is important not only for the other person, but also for ourselves. When we forgive, we release the poisonous thing. To hold a grudge and harbor ill for another is like a poison to the body and the mind. When you release it and forgive another then you have gained freedom. When you forgive another you have also released them from their burden. This does not mean that they are not held accountable for their sin or that you should allow the person to take advantage of you. Only God can forgive them of their sin and wipe it away.

How could I forgive? Because I can. I can not control the actions of another. I can only control my own response to those actions and my own attiude towards it. Forgiveness acknowledges that he sinned and he is human, but that I am not going to hold it against him because to me the marriage is more important than the sin. If the sin continues and he is unrepentant and unwilling to change, then I am free to divorce him... and for me, I did. Still, I forgive him. He will account for his sins before God.

How would someone know if the person they're marrying has cheated on a partner before?
Why would anyone on this forum admit to cheating on someone before?

Islamically you're not meant to reveal you're sins, they're between you and Allah, so no one here should be revealing anything

I don't know that someone would confess to cheating either. I think that I have only met one man in my lifetime who said to me that his marriage ended because he messed up and cheated. When he confessed it there was no pride in his voice or manner, but there was shame and regret. I thought it was admirable that he confessed and I had a lot of respect for him for owning up to his sin. No one is obligated to confess their sins to man (except maybe in Cahtolicism?), but to me I find it admirable when someone can admit to their wrong and move past it, as opposed to lying about it. A cheater rarely even admits it to his/her spouse. Those who do are often the ones who also repent before God and never do it again. (Unless their confession is in pride and intended to harm the other.)

here is a very beautiful story, it reminds me of what you said "always forgive"

it begins in the middle of the story, so I give you what happened before.
The man cheated her with the girl. The woman entered in when they "did it', but they didn't see her,
so she sneaked out, and she bear patience, and forgave him.. then the next day or so, she fired the maid and fooled her man.
see the movie for the end of the story! I really wish that your man becomes like this man due to you!

Thanks for sharing that. :) That was very funny.

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason, why should angels curse her the next morning?
WOman is not not an object in function of her man. That is so unfair.

I knwo this question is really a whole different topic on its own, but I don't believe a wife should withhold from her husband either. To be honest, in a loving marriage I don't know that a wife would want to withhold from her husband. LOL

Elly are you interested in what you have to say or what other people have to say?
pouring rain as far as I know isn't Muslim so you are not in fact 'liberating her' with your drive through psychology.

You are right, I am not a Muslim. You changed yoru username. :) I recognized your signature.

[جوري]

bro, I hope this is not off topic. But I read somewhere that it is perfectly Islamic to ask the other person, in presence of mahram, if he/she is virgin or not. If a husband was told that her wife is a virgin, or vice versa, and after marriage it was shown that he/she is not, the other person is justified in asking for divorce. Please correct me if my understanding of Islamic ruling on this is wrong.

you really have no way of knowing whether someone is a virgin or not after marriage.. yes I am aware of all the blah blahs about hymens and whatnot when you finish medicine you'll come up with a different understanding of that!

so as br. said it will have to come down to trust.. do you trust the person you are marrying or not, also considering that there is such a thing as 'V rejuvenation' thirty minute procedure that practically every woman who has had three kids or more seems to want to have to put the spark back in her life for three more!

:w:

[Alpha Dude]

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason, why should angels curse her the next morning?
WOman is not not an object in function of her man. That is so unfair.

According to Islam, both men and women have rights upon each other and respective duties to perform within a marriage.

A husband is obliged to provide for his wife. A wife is obliged fulfil her husband's desires. If the couple were muslim and they wholeheartedly subscribed to the religion of Islam, then they would see it as worship to fulfil these duties and sinworthy not to.

Purely from a practical perspective, men are lustful creatures and they need to satiate their desires and fact is, if they didn't get it from the wife, they will start looking at others with lust (even looking is sinful).

Given that you think it's unfair for a wife to have to fulfil one of her rights, how about if a man just didn't want to fulfil one of his duties and provide for his wife? With no particular reason, he just didn't care to give her any food or money out of his pocket? Isn't it extortion that he has to provide?

So I hope you see that you need to look at this issue a little more holistically, where each member has certain duties to keep to and any neglect on the part of either of them is grounds for marital disharmony.

Also, there's nothing wrong in telling what mistake you did . People need to talk to each other so there's no need in keeping that secret between you and God.

Keeping our sins to ourselves is a means of keeping society on the whole clean from sin.

Consider the impact of everyone going about discussing all their sins. It would desensitize us. We see one too many people doing a particular sin and we'll end up believing that the sin isn't that big a deal afterall. The gravity of the sin will lesson in our eyes.

So there really is a practical purpose to keeping what Allah has kept hidden, hidden.

[Alpha Dude]

I knwo this question is really a whole different topic on its own, but I don't believe a wife should withhold from her husband either. To be honest, in a loving marriage I don't know that a wife would want to withhold from her husband. LOL

Exactly! The only reason I can think of why a woman would withhold is as a selfish display of feminism and shallow assertion of 'power'.

[CosmicPathos]

you really have no way of knowing whether someone is a virgin or not after marriage.. yes I am aware of all the blah blahs about hymens and whatnot when you finish medicine you'll come up with a different understanding of that!

so as br. said it will have to come down to trust.. do you trust the person you are marrying or not, also considering that there is such a thing as 'V rejuvenation' thirty minute procedure that practically every woman who has had three kids or more seems to want to have to put the spark back in her life for three more!

:w:

lol ...

jazakAllah for that response.

[EllyDicious]

Forgiveness is important not only for the other person, but also for ourselves. When we forgive, we release the poisonous thing. To hold a grudge and harbor ill for another is like a poison to the body and the mind. When you release it and forgive another then you have gained freedom. When you forgive another you have also released them from their burden. This does not mean that they are not held accountable for their sin or that you should allow the person to take advantage of you. Only God can forgive them of their sin and wipe it away.

You are right!
Forgiveness is important.

Sounds like you're a strong lady for having a heart that knows to forgive.

I don't know that someone would confess to cheating either. I think that I have only met one man in my lifetime who said to me that his marriage ended because he messed up and cheated.

Though, I do agree that it was admirable of him to confess the sin, I wonder how he could do it again. By your sentence I understand that he cheated on his first wife and then he cheated on you, also?
How can a repentant man do that again?
Sorry if I'm getting into details about your personal life. This is not my intention. I'm trying to understand how people say they regret something and do it again.

[EllyDicious]

you get stoned to death :)

Are you serious?? lol.

[aadil77]

Are you serious?? lol.

yep :shade:, if you commit adultery and get caught, the punishement is stoning to death

if you're not married then its 100 lashes

it just shows the emphasis we have in islam of chastity, modesty and rights

[EllyDicious]

yep :shade:, if you commit adultery and get caught, the punishement is stoning to death

if you're not married then its 100 lashes

it just shows the emphasis we have in islam of chastity, modesty and rights

Oh my God, but does Q'uran allow punishment to death? Doesn't Q'uran prohibit killing people no matter what mistake they did? Shouldn't the punishment be left to God??


That's not fair, to me.

[PouringRain]

Though, I do agree that it was admirable of him to confess the sin, I wonder how he could do it again. By your sentence I understand that he cheated on his first wife and then he cheated on you, also?
How can a repentant man do that again?
Sorry if I'm getting into details about your personal life. This is not my intention. I'm trying to understand how people say they regret something and do it again.

No, you misunderstood. I only said that I have known one man in my life who confessed to his infidelity ending his marriage. I did not marry that man. I would not marry someone who I knew had previous problems with infidelity, no matter how much I respect them for confessing their wrong doing.

[CosmicPathos]

Oh my God, but does Q'uran allow punishment to death? Doesn't Q'uran prohibit killing people no matter what mistake they did? Shouldn't the punishment be left to God??


That's not fair, to me.

are you God? what is fair to you and what is not is a matter of whims and desires. If that was the truth, we would not need any God.

[aadil77]

Oh my God, but does Q'uran allow punishment to death? Doesn't Q'uran prohibit killing people no matter what mistake they did? Shouldn't the punishment be left to God??


That's not fair, to me.

Again its only if you get caught, the punishment removes your sin. The punishment is carried out in islamic states, but its extremely rare probably non existent.

The punishment is prescribed by god in the Qur'an

This is Justice by Allah and I think its fair, adultery and fornication are major sins, they ruin families, societies and effective punishment helps prevent it.

[EllyDicious]

[QUOTE=mad_scientist;1319135]are you God? [QUOTE]
Yes.

Also, you didn't answer to my questions because you don't know how to answer.
If Q'uran prohibits killing people, and on the other side commands people to kill/punish the cheaters, then no doubt why many religious person are hypocrites, just like the Holy book they are brainwashed by.

[EllyDicious]

Again its only if you get caught, the punishment removes your sin. The punishment is carried out in islamic states, but its extremely rare probably non existent.

.

I thought this punishment is applied every time there is a cheating partner in a couple.

[aadil77]

[QUOTE=EllyDicious;1319138][QUOTE=mad_scientist;1319135]are you God?

Yes.

Also, you didn't answer to my questions because you don't know how to answer.
If Q'uran prohibits killing people, and on the other side commands people to kill/punish the cheaters, then no doubt why many religious person are hypocrites, just like the Holy book they are brainwashed by.

This punishment is not murder, its not carried out by any random person its done by the state

[CosmicPathos]

[QUOTE=EllyDicious;1319138][QUOTE=mad_scientist;1319135]are you God?

Yes.

Also, you didn't answer to my questions because you don't know how to answer.
If Q'uran prohibits killing people, and on the other side commands people to kill/punish the cheaters, then no doubt why many religious person are hypocrites, just like the Holy book they are brainwashed by.

yes. you are right. By God I do not know how to answer stupid illogical questions.

[EllyDicious]

[QUOTE=aadil77;1319141][QUOTE=EllyDicious;1319138]

are you God?

This punishment is not murder, its not carried out by any random person its done by the state

And the state is made of normal people like everyone else. People who commit sins and make mistakes like all of us. This doesn't make them more special and doesn't give them the right to punish through death.
If Q'uran allows punishment through death, then clearly it's being contradictory when saying that God has the right to punish those who sin.

[EllyDicious]

[QUOTE=mad_scientist;1319145][QUOTE=EllyDicious;1319138]

are you God?

yes. you are right. By God I do not know how to answer stupid illogical questions.

You amuse me.

[Cabdullahi]

this must be some sort of wind up?............what's going on in here?

[aadil77]

[QUOTE=EllyDicious;1319147][QUOTE=aadil77;1319141]

And the state is made of normal people like everyone else. People who commit sins and make mistakes like all of us. This doesn't make them more special and doesn't give them the right to punish through death.
If Q'uran allows punishment through death, then clearly it's being contradictory when saying that God has the right to punish those who sin.

You're a bit confused nothing is being contradicted here, Allah has commanded us to carry out this punishment if caught, but only an islamic state can do it

[جوري]

this must be some sort of wind up?............what's going on in here?

[CosmicPathos]

^^ lol.

@ elly: do you get amused so easily?

[glo]

Elly, let me answer your questions before this thread deteriorates further ...

- What would you do if your husband/wife cheated on you? Would you forgive them?

It's difficult to say, because I have never been in that situation.
But I have a wonderful life with my husband and children.
If my husband cheated on me once, I think I would probably be able to forgive him and continue with our life together.

If he continued to cheat on me, then it would probably affect our family life and marriage to such an extend, that we could not continue in our relationship together.

- Would you marry someone who has cheated a husband/wife/partner before?

Don't know.

- Have you ever been cheated / Did you ever cheat?

No. My husband and I have been faithful to each other for 24 years.

Only yesterday we were chatting and saying how amazing it really is to be faithful to one partner throughout life, given that the world population is more than 6 billion! :statisfie

[omar ibrahim]

Oh my God, but does Q'uran allow punishment to death? Doesn't Q'uran prohibit killing people no matter what mistake they did? Shouldn't the punishment be left to God??

you are misinderstanding ^^ let me please explain this and clear it out to you , by the way most of answers are based in opinions without real knowledge

i will give you an example like cutting the hand if someone steals,when you read it and have no knowledge about it you would be scared, wouldnt you?^^ but under this rule

you have many things actually, if they catch the stealer there are many things they have to deal with,like the things that have been stolen have to be expensive and there have to be no problems
between the stealer and the victim.for example if the stealer stole something because the victim have some problems with him or he orders him money or anything like that then there will be no punishment.If the victim does not care about his money or his stuff.For example if he put his money in a taple in the restaurant and show it for all people or if he does something that makes the stealer thinks to steal or any things like that,then there will be no punishment.If the victim forgives him its fine.However there are many things i really forgot because i studied it when i was in high school in Saudi Arabia.i can tell you 99% of stealers,their hands are not cutting down,its just to scare them and let them think ^^

let us move to cheating,its the same things, its to scare people and prevent them from doing that.I will give you some things that have to be done before they judge

first of all.there have to be 3 witnesses ant these 3 witnesses have to see the boy or the girl in their eyes,not just because they see them naked, its not enough,even if they see them
kissing each others it still not enough and they will be asked a question what did you see exaaaaactly,each one of them will be asked alone,if there is a very small contradiction then there will be no punishment ^^ and these witnesses have to be good people and righteous and they have no bad history.Actually the things i just mentioned you know its impossible really
you will never have these things except for few very few.

i will tell you a story of the prophet mohammed so that you may understand . a woman came to the prophet peace be upon him and told him i did zina she was mohsanah wich means married
and the prophet mohammed did not respond and she repeted it and the prophet was kindful he does not want to do it and he did try that the woman may just go back then the woman said please i want to clean my sin and i am pregnant from that and she also said do you want to reject me as you reject maez then the prophet respond and said go until you he or she gets born,
after that she came back and said ok this is the child i want you to clean my sin completely and he looked at the child and said go back and take care of him until he grow up then she came back and ask him and he did it because she wants it to clean the sin completely.

i hope you get the clear answer,there is no singal contradiction in the quran the problem is that you are talking without knoeledge ^^ so please be careful before you judge

there are many kind of sins in islam some are high some are low

high like,if you kill other person then there will be a punishment in this life because its a big sin, and it causes a lot of problems if there is no strict punishment for it. sounds good?
and if you want to remove the sin so that there will be no punishment in the hereafter like zina.

low, you can just ask for forgiveness and God willing it will be accepted

i suggest that you learn,it might give you better understanding in many aspects in islam

i hope this is helpful and sorry for my bad English ^^




That's not fair, to me.

.................................................. ...

[Dagless]

bro, I hope this is not off topic. But I read somewhere that it is perfectly Islamic to ask the other person, in presence of mahram, if he/she is virgin or not. If a husband was told that her wife is a virgin, or vice versa, and after marriage it was shown that he/she is not, the other person is justified in asking for divorce. Please correct me if my understanding of Islamic ruling on this is wrong.

Has anyone, ever, in the history of asking this question in front of a mahram, said no? Unless they have kids or are divorced I think 100% of people would answer yes, even though 100% of people are not virgins.

And the state is made of normal people like everyone else. People who commit sins and make mistakes like all of us. This doesn't make them more special and doesn't give them the right to punish through death.
If Q'uran allows punishment through death, then clearly it's being contradictory when saying that God has the right to punish those who sin.

There is no contradiction though :S I don't know how you can think that. You are moulding the statements to fit your own definition of contradiction. Here are YOUR 2 statements:

1) God judges and punishes sinners.
2) People judge and punish sinners.

Your second statement is incorrect. The actual statements should be:

1) God judges and punishes sinners.
2) People carry out the will of God, whatever that may be.

God has set out the punishments for certain sins and so by carrying them out it is the will of God which is being carried out, not the will of people.

[Missinglinks]

So you don't want to know if your wife slept around with other men?
You prefer to live in a marriage full of lies?

Nice.

So you, tell us all your secrets and sins, the most genant ones, or do you want to keep livin' in a lie?
see how absurd this is... If everybody confessed everything, this world would be hell!

this is what may happen if we don't conceal much of our sins...

[EllyDicious]

@omar_Ibrahim - Thank you for your detailed explanation.

@Missinglinks - Why was the man crying?

[Missinglinks]

I don't know why he is crying, but it is just a part of a long speech/lecture... so maybe from something he mentioned before and out of love fro god he cried.

look we in islam regard privacy as a high aspect of life and we protect this privacy of people.

I found a fatwa

Should a doctor inform the authorities about patients who have committed fornication?

Some patients come to me who have drunk alcohol or taken drugs, under the influence of which they have committed crimes such as zinaa (fornication or adultery) or sodomy. Should I inform the authorities about them or not?

Praise be to Allaah.

You have to give them sincere advice (naseehah), advise them and urge them to repent. Cover their sins and do not inform the authorities about them or expose them. Help them to obey Allaah and His Messenger, and tell them that Allaah accepts the repentance of the one who repents. And warn them against going back to this sin, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):

“The believers, men and women, are Awliyaa’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another; they enjoin (on the people) Al Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden)” [al-Tawbah 9:71]

“By Al ‘Asr (the time).

Verily, man is in loss,

Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth [i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds (Al Ma‘roof) which Allaah has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al Munkar) which Allaah has forbidden], and recommend one another to patience”[al-‘Asr 103:1-3]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Religion is naseehah (sincere advice)…”

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever covers a Muslim’s (sins), Allaah will cover him (his sins) in this world and in the Hereafter.”

Both were narrated by Imaam Muslim in his Saheeh. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Kitaab Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 9, p. 436

[cat eyes]

i guess it all depends really on how much you love that person and think about his good points. do all the assessment of how he treated you all through the marriage. and if that was the only mistake he made then yeah there might be a chance however once some one cheats, the trust is gone so it dose not matter how much you admire or love that person.. you cant get that trust back! without trust there is no marriage unless you want to lead a miserable life with him constantly thinking where he might be and what hes doing now. could he be doing that or could he be doing this and the insecurities would just eat a person so there is no point in those two people being together

[cat eyes]

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason, why should angels curse her the next morning?
WOman is not not an object in function of her man. That is so unfair.


I don't think there's anything wrong accepting a mistake and repent about that mistake. We all make mistake. If someone loves your for real, he'll tell you what he did in his past because he wants to be sincere and honest with you.
If you find it out from the others , then he may not be the man you thought he was.

Also, there's nothing wrong in telling what mistake you did . People need to talk to each other so there's no need in keeping that secret between you and God.

If you, aadil, had a wife ....wouldn't you prefer her to tell you the truth rather than hide it from you while you could find it from the others??
Don't you like honest people? Wouldn't you appreciate her sincerity.? People commit sins but if every sin was between you and God, then we wouldn't know each other for what they really were, but for what they appeared to be ... and this is not a good sign.

Hey elly i notice that you are not a muslim :p actually there is many reasons why you cannot refuse your partner intercourse. it is very damaging to the persons body(check out the medical damages)

Also not only is it damaging...its actually very cruel also. :) so thats why the angels curse that woman/man :)

Btw if a woman is sick then she dose not have to sleep with her husband if it causes damage to her body.

i will try and find proper fatwa on it for you inshaAllah

[EllyDicious]

Hey elly i notice that you are not a muslim :p actually there is many reasons why you cannot refuse your partner intercourse. it is very damaging to the persons body(check out the medical damages)

Also not only is it damaging...its actually very cruel also. :) so thats why the angels curse that woman/man :)

Btw if a woman is sick then she dose not have to sleep with her husband if it causes damage to her body.

i will try and find proper fatwa on it for you inshaAllah

It's strange how angels could curse the woman :(

Yes please, find the proper fatwa [what is this ?] for me :)

[EllyDicious]

.. you cant get that trust back! without trust there is no marriage unless you want to lead a miserable life with him constantly thinking where he might be and what hes doing now. could he be doing that or could he be doing this and the insecurities would just eat a person so there is no point in those two people being together

True. Agreed.

[cat eyes]

Question and Answer Details



Name of Questioner
Fatimah - India
Title
Can a Wife Refuse Her Husband's Bed?
Question
As-Salamu `alaykum. My question is that I want to know if a wife is not interested in sex, does it become compulsory on her to obey her husband in having sex? Please let me know as I am confused!
Date
08/Jun/2005
Topic
Marital relationships, Intimate relations



Answer


Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, we commend your pursuit of knowledge and your keenness to seek what is lawful and avoid what is not. We earnestly implore Allah to bless your efforts in this honorable way.

Islam cares for establishing a lovely relation between a man and his wife. It calls upon both parties to exchange love, show respect, and care for each other. This applies to all aspects of their life: social, intellectual, intimate, etc.

Moreover, Islam pays great attention to the intimate aspect of the husband-wife relationship. Once, when the Prophet got to know that one of his Companions used to spend the whole night in prayer, he immediately gave the Prophetic guidance “Your eyes has a right over you, your guests have a right over you and your wife has a right over you.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari).

In another occasion, the Prophet directed the man to how he should approach his wife, He said: “None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.” The Companions exclaimed, “What is that messenger?” The Prophet replied, “Kisses and (romantic) words!” (Reported by Al-Daylami)

If these are guidelines on the side of man, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), on the other hand, urged the woman to respond to her husband if he called her to make love. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till the morning.”

Given these general guidelines, one can conclude that, in response to the specific points indicated in the question, among the duties of a wife towards her husband are that she should satisfy his needs, withhold him from falling into the unlawful and exchange love and affection with him.

If the wife declines his desire to make love with her, he may be psychologically affected and experience physical ailments related to this (e.g. stimulation excitation, congestion and sexual suppression due to the lack of ejaculation).

In the same vein, the wife may go through similar problems and experience the same sufferings if her man declined to meet her sexual needs.

Therefore it is of the wisdom of the Shari`ah that it calls both parties to understand and respond to the natural need of each other. If both husband and wife respond to each other, they will maintain each other’s love, care and affection. Conversely, if they refuse, the relationship can deteriorate. This may also lead one of them to deviate from the right path and look for pleasure outside the marriage. This will eventually lead to the breakdown of the family and the disintegration of the society at large.

However, it is to be added that if the wife is physiologically or physically ill and unable to respond to her husband's call then he should be considerate of her condition and never harm her in any way.

In this context, the late Sheikh Ibn al-`Uthaymin, the well-known Saudi scholar, adds:


If the wife is psychologically ill and is not able to actively respond to her husband's call or if she has a physical illness, then in such cases it is not allowed for the husband to call her to bed. This is because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said "There is to be no harm done or reciprocation of harm." He should either refrain or enjoy her company in such a way that does not harm her.




Allah Almighty knows best.

[EllyDicious]

Thank you for the shared information, cat! :)

also what does "If the wife is psychologically ill and is not able to actively respond to her husband's call or if she has a physical illness, then in such cases it is not allowed for the husband to call her to bed" mean? Does it mean they shouldn't sleep in the same bed?

[جوري]

sure if you are still stuck at a preoperational stage of development!

;D

[EllyDicious]

2) People carry out the will of God, whatever that may be.

God has set out the punishments for certain sins and so by carrying them out it is the will of God which is being carried out, not the will of people.

I see.
Well, how can we be sure if that's God's will?
Just because Q'uran says it?

[جوري]

I see.
Well, how can we be sure if that's God's will?
Just because Q'uran says it?

The law derives from religion, religion is from God.. if you don't believe that religion is from God then the onus is on you to prove it, it will take more than a temper tantrum and a strong believe of the contrary to accomplish that task though.. you are indeed welcome to live in a lawless society and I believe indeed that Albania was declared one the first atheist state.. how did living without God's laws work out for your people? did they like it?

all the best

[EllyDicious]

I believe indeed that Albania was declared one the first atheist state.. how did living without God's laws work out for your people? did they like it?

This country has many religions that people practice. It's one of the few countries where people of different religions get along very well with each other.
We believe in everyone's right to follow any religion they want and we call it to be a private right which shouldn't interfere with the state's laws.
Albania is not a country that is ruled under divine laws because we think we cannot force anyone to believe/not believe in God.
That's why Albanians are generous people and open to everyone, they're also known for their hospitality and friendly to everyone despite the religious view they might have.
Albania is not against God/Religion but also cannot force any citizen to believe in any of those.
Most of us have religion/believe in God but this is a matter that won't stop any of us from keeping in contacts with anyone who has different point of view about God/Religion.

That's why we all have great relationships with each other without being forced to do/believe in something we don't want to.

[EllyDicious]

Also, let's keep this thread on topic, please.

[جوري]

This country has many religions that people practice. It's one of the few countries where people of different religions get along very well with each other.

Greetings,

what does this have to do with my comments above?

We believe in everyone's right to follow any religion they want and we call it to be a private right which shouldn't not interfere with the state's laws.

Again, nothing to do with what I wrote.. you have neither addressed where those state laws came from, nor have you addressed how living with Godless laws under Enver were perceived and enjoyed by your country-folk (other than you of course)

Albania is not a country that is ruled under divine laws because we think we cannot force anyone to believe/not believe in God.

Again, it doesn't address what I have written. Do you understand what was written above or do I need to break it down further?

That's why Albanians are generous people and open to everyone, they're also known for their hospitality and friendly to everyone despite the religious view they might have.

Well that is yet to be ascertained!

Albania is not against God/Religion but also cannot force any citizen to believe in any of those.
Most of us have religion/believe in God but this is a matter that won't stop any of us have contacts with anyone who has different point of view about God/Religion.

Redundancy isn't good.. if you don't understand the question, re-enforcing your brand of understanding won't elucidate things better!

That's why we all have great relationships with each other without being forced to do/believe in something we don't want to.

I am glad you have shared your feelings.. perhaps after you have purged yourself you can give us something substantial to work with, especially from your line of questioning and/or reasoning (or lack thereof) you crusade for the same, although from what it appears without any strong interest in what anyone else has to say!

all the best

[CosmicPathos]

Has anyone, ever, in the history of asking this question in front of a mahram, said no? Unless they have kids or are divorced I think 100% of people would answer yes, even though 100% of people are not virgins.



There is no contradiction though :S I don't know how you can think that. You are moulding the statements to fit your own definition of contradiction. Here are YOUR 2 statements:

1) God judges and punishes sinners.
2) People judge and punish sinners.

Your second statement is incorrect. The actual statements should be:

1) God judges and punishes sinners.
2) People carry out the will of God, whatever that may be.

God has set out the punishments for certain sins and so by carrying them out it is the will of God which is being carried out, not the will of people.

I know but I guess as an honest person you would expect the answer? Specifically if a woman is asked and if her hymen is not intact even though she is a pious woman, I do not think she should feel shame in disclosing it because it could be broken by regular daily tasks.

Secondly asking this question gives the Muslim a legitimate reason to ask for divorce if it he/she somehow finds that they were lied to before marriage by the other spouse!

But as The Vale Lily mentioned, it is not a litmus test to determine virginity, lol. Cosmetic surgeons are IN these days.

[جوري]

I know but I guess as an honest person you would expect the answer? Specifically if a woman is asked and if her hymen is not intact even though she is a pious woman, I do not think she should feel shame in disclosing it because it could be broken by regular daily tasks.

Secondly asking this question gives the Muslim a legitimate reason to ask for divorce if it he/she somehow finds that they were lied to before marriage by the other spouse!

But as The Vale Lily mentioned, it is not a litmus test to determine virginity, lol. Cosmetic surgeons are IN these days.

When you think about it, a man's proclivities before marriage aren't known to the woman either.. she too will have to take him on his word of honor before God.. there is no way to prove whether a guy has slept around or not either .. so it is someone's word of honor before God which you have to put faith in or simply move on to someone you find more trustworthy..
casting doubt on the chaste is in and of itself a sin.. look what happened to Saiida Aisha (RA), the prophet' sage response and how Allah swt exonerated her.. not every person is so lucky to be divinely exonerated!

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

[CosmicPathos]

When you think about it, a man's proclivities before marriage aren't known to the woman either.. she too will have to take him on his word of honor before God.. there is no way to prove whether a guy has slept around or not either .. so it is someone's word of honor before God which you have to put faith in or simply move on to someone you find more trustworthy..
casting doubt on the chaste is in and of itself a sin.. look what happened to Saiida Aisha (RA), the prophet' sage response and how Allah swt exonerated her.. not every person is so lucky to be divinely exonerated!

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

indeed. May Allah allow us to be faithful and chaste.

w salam.

[omar ibrahim]

I see.
Well, how can we be sure if that's God's will?
Just because Q'uran says it?

its a really good question,first of all you say you believe in god right?i am sure you do so ask him say please god show me the right path o god tell me if you have a religion to follow,ask him with sincirity.secondly, i will tell you something a quran has proves for every period of time,this time for instance is the science time isnt? ok ^^ i will examine that later,you might say so what about people who live at the time of prophet mohmmed,the biggest miracle is in the language of quran in the arabic language,at the time of propet people like poems and good speaches sooo much,they were use language as a challenge,for example,there were rules for challenge like sjaa tbaag many like you have to make a 10 sentence and each sentence has to end with two letters and they have to follow the meaning etc .i am an arab but i am not will knowing in this field,i hope i gave you an idia,however many people at the time prohet hearing the quran was so enough to prove that this is not from human.even people who dibelieve in him at that time they still aknowledge that the quran was amazing,but they do you know what they say , they said that he get it from seaten or devil,i will give you a short story regarding that ^^ so please be patience. the disbelievers sent a person who was very very good in arabic language because they want him to tell mohammed to stop telling people worshipping god alone instead of idols and creatsions with god,this person told prophet mohammed that we will give an honour and dignity and we will let you marry whatever you want and we will make you a leader upon us and give you money etc the prophet did listen to this guy,after he finished the prophet said did you finish,and he did reply yes ,the prophet quote ayat from the quran and recite it to him i forgot the ayat so please forgive me, then this person was amazed,and he turned to his people and described the quran to his people in a good description i cant even translate it,after that his people say to the people of makah to be aware to not listen to the quran,because they say to them he will make you crazy etc and when he try to recite the quran people put their hands in their ears.However every prophet was given a miracle wich is suitable to his people,like at the time of moses the magic was popular.At the time of jesus pbuh the medicine was popular so he was given an ability to give the death people life,to make the blind see etc.Whatever, i will return to nowday.there are a number of scientific facts in the quran i brought to you a very good site which is been founded by a former christian brother yusef estes and he has many sites, this is one of them
http://www.scienceislam.com/

Although at the time of prophet there were miracles,some people disbelieve they were arrogant,like at the time of moses some people say we will never believe in you until we see god
there was a great punishment in this life ,and there will be in the hereafter.

However sister i would advice that you dont take knowledge without proves in islam,because some muslims are ignorant and they speak from their opinions not from islam,if you would like really to know whether read the quran and its explaintion,the first word was revealed iqra read recite.^^
i hope you get benefit.

[EllyDicious]

Greetings,

what does this have to do with my comments above?

Again, nothing to do with what I wrote.. you have neither addressed where those state laws came from, nor have you addressed how living with Godless laws under Enver were perceived and enjoyed by your country-folk

I was actually talking about the era I'm living in. I didn't know you referred to the Enver era. He used to be a dictator. Laws were made according to his principles.
I wasn't born at that time. But from what I've heard/read he used to treat people unfairly. I've heard many unfair stories and everyone who lived at that time can't believe it is already over. They say all their life had been a night-mare. His laws weren't enjoyed at all. He killed millions of people for ridiculous reasons.
Now in democracy, everything's changed. [some for better and some for worse -- but the worst part is over].
Now everyone is free to have the life they want [of course respecting the law].
Enver wouldn't allow God's laws because he himself thought he was above God.

[EllyDicious]

its a really good question,first of all you say you believe in god right?i am sure you do so ask him say please god show me the right path o god tell me if you have a religion to follow,ask him with sincirity.secondly, i will tell you something a quran has proves for every period of time,this time for instance is the science time isnt? ok ^^ i will examine that later,you might say so what about people who live at the time of prophet mohmmed,the biggest miracle is in the language of quran in the arabic language,at the time of propet people like poems and good speaches sooo much,they were use language as a challenge,for example,there were rules for challenge like sjaa tbaag many like you have to make a 10 sentence and each sentence has to end with two letters and they have to follow the meaning etc .i am an arab but i am not will knowing in this field,i hope i gave you an idia,however many people at the time prohet hearing the quran was so enough to prove that this is not from human.even people who dibelieve in him at that time they still aknowledge that the quran was amazing,but they do you know what they say , they said that he get it from seaten or devil,i will give you a short story regarding that ^^ so please be patience. the disbelievers sent a person who was very very good in arabic language because they want him to tell mohammed to stop telling people worshipping god alone instead of idols and creatsions with god,this person told prophet mohammed that we will give an honour and dignity and we will let you marry whatever you want and we will make you a leader upon us and give you money etc the prophet did listen to this guy,after he finished the prophet said did you finish,and he did reply yes ,the prophet quote ayat from the quran and recite it to him i forgot the ayat so please forgive me, then this person was amazed,and he turned to his people and described the quran to his people in a good description i cant even translate it,after that his people say to the people of makah to be aware to not listen to the quran,because they say to them he will make you crazy etc and when he try to recite the quran people put their hands in their ears.However every prophet was given a miracle wich is suitable to his people,like at the time of moses the magic was popular.At the time of jesus pbuh the medicine was popular so he was given an ability to give the death people life,to make the blind see etc.Whatever, i will return to nowday.there are a number of scientific facts in the quran i brought to you a very good site which is been founded by a former christian brother yusef estes and he has many sites, this is one of them
http://www.scienceislam.com/

Although at the time of prophet there were miracles,some people disbelieve they were arrogant,like at the time of moses some people say we will never believe in you until we see god
there was a great punishment in this life ,and there will be in the hereafter.
i hope you get benefit.

Thank you for sharing the stories. :)
But still they are stories and still there is a doubtful part in them because I don't think anyone would be able to confirm about their truthfulness.
A story brings another story and so on and people take these as true, automatically.

Anyway, i'll take a look at the website.

However sister i would advice that you dont take knowledge without proves in islam,because some muslims are ignorant and they speak from their opinions not from islam,if you would like really to know whether read the quran and its explaintion,the first word was revealed iqra read recite.^^

That's a good advice.

[tango92]

you know without even trying to verify the info your given theres no chance youll accept it to be true. youl find it hard to believe anything.

how can you be 100 percent sure of anything? there is always that chance your really in a coma and everything is just a dream. or so the philosophers would like you to believe.

the first principle of science is to provide evidence for theories, and you have to sit down and review that evidence thoroughly instead of just saying ahh sod it its probably all made up...

may allah guide you, things will become clear if you give quran a chance inshallah

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

*not aimed at anyone in this thread*

here is a very beautiful story, it reminds me of what you said "always forgive"

question is would it be so easy to forgive if it went the other way around?

typical usual one sided rubbish.

[omar ibrahim]

Thank you for sharing the stories. :)
But still they are stories and still there is a doubtful part in them because I don't think anyone would be able to confirm about their truthfulness.
A story brings another story and so on and people take these as true, automatically.

Actually this story is from the serah of prophet mohmmed which based on sources,we know the people who brought it,and whether if they trustworthy or not and it many of them come from different sources and other things every ayat or sorah from the quran has a reson before it reveled,and there is ounly one quran with about 600 pages memorized completely by milions of people word by word,actually in the quran itself it says wa lagd yasrna al quraana le dekr fhl mn mdekr meaning we make the quran easy to memorize is there a memorizer >sorry for my bad translation,but i think the meaning is clear.

Anyway, i'll take a look at the website.

That's a good advice.

.................................................. ..

[Missinglinks]

:sl:

*not aimed at anyone in this thread*


question is would it be so easy to forgive if it went the other way around?

typical usual one sided rubbish.

The reward doesn't have to be in this world, never forget that there's an hereafter.
so no not really, because I believe in Allah and He said:

"These will be given their reward twice over, because they are patient, and repel evil with good.."(Chapter #28, Verse #54)

and the two other verses in surah 41...

Sahih International
And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.

Tafsir al-Jalalayn
And they are not equal, the good deed and the evil deed, [even] with respect to their subdivisions, because any number of such [good deeds] are [always] above any number of the latter. Repel, the evil deed, with that, in other words, with that trait, which is better, such as [repelling] anger with endurance, ignorance with forbearance, and [the intention to inflict] harm with pardon, then, behold, he between whom and you there was enmity will be as though he were a dear friend, in other words, then your enemy will become like a close friend in terms of [his] affection [for you], if you act in such a way (alladhī, ‘he … whom’, is the subject; ka-annahu, ‘as though’, is the predicate; idhā is an adverbial particle for [expressing] the comparative import).

Sahih International
But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].

Tafsir al-Jalalayn
But none is granted it, in other words, [none] is given that better trait, except those who are steadfast; and none is granted it except one [deserving] of a great reward.

I believe in Allah and I am convinced that this statement is true...

moreover if we go to tafsir ibn kathir, then to chapter 8 al-Anfal... we find a hadith about forgiving, a very beautifull one...
فَاتَّقُواْ اللَّهَ وَأَصْلِحُواْ ذَاتَ بِيْنِكُمْ
"Vrees Allah en sticht vrede onder jullie”

يقول أنس بينا رسول الله جالس إذ رأيناه ضحك حتى بدت ثناياه فقال عمر ما أضحكك يارسول الله بأبي أنت وأمي
فقال رجلان من امتى جثيا بين يدي رب العزة فقال احدهما يارب خذ لي مظلمتي من اخى فقال الله عز وجل أعط أخاك مظلمته
قال يارب لم يبقى من حسناتي شئ قال رب ليحمل عنى من اوزارى
فقال الله للطالب ارفع رأسك فانظر في الجنان فرفع رأسه فقال يا رب أرى مدائن من فضة وقصورا من ذهب مكللة باللؤلؤ لأي نبي هذا
لأي صديق هذا لأي شهيد هذا قال هذا لمن أعطى الثمن قال يارب ومن يملك الثمن قال أنت تملكه قال ماذا يا رب
–تعفوعن أخيك قال عفوت عنه فقال تعالى خذ بيد أخيك فادخله الجنة
ثم قال رسول الله فاتقوا الله وأصلحوا ذات بينكم فإن الله يصلح بين المؤمنين يوم القيامة
Anas said: we sat with the messenger of ALlah pbuh and all of a sudden he smiled. Umar said: (May my mother and father be sacrificed for you) o messenger of Allah, what made you smile? He said: Two men from my ummah sitting before their Lord tabaraka wa ta3aala on their knees. One of them says:
O my Lord, take my injustice that is done to me by my brother.
Allah 3azza wa jall will say; take your injustice from your brother(i.e. take his hasanaat)
He(the wrongdoer) will say: "O Lord, I have no hasanaat left.
He(the asker) says: O my Lord, let him carry my sayi-aat(evil deeds)
Then ALlah will say: Raise your head and look into the heavens. He lift his head up and says:
O my Lord, I see cities/places of silver and palaces of gold croned with pearls! For wich prophet is this? For wich trustworthy, honest person? For wich martyr (is this)?
He(Allah) tabaraka wa ta3aala will say: This is for a person who gives something very valuable for it.
He(the asker) will say: And who is the one who can give this valuable thing (to get it)?
He(Allah) tabaraka wa ta3ala will say: You are the one owning it
He(the asker) will say: And what is it o my Lord?
"FORGIVING YOUR BROTHER"
He will say: O my Lord I have forgiven him
Then Allah the Almighty will say: take your brother by his hand and enter paradise.
Then the messenger of Allah recited (the vers): "Fear Allah and make peace between each other", for verily Allah will make peace between the believers on the Day of Judgement
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see the virtues of forgiving and yet people reject to forgive!!!!