Paying back

[Life_Is_Short]

:sl:

When your parents pay for something extra of yours, besides education, food etc, do you feel the need to pay them back? Perhaps when you are financially able.

Just wondering. :hmm:

[EllyDicious]

Now that I'm living with my parents I don't feel like I have to pay them back.
But once I start a life of my own, I'd sure pay them back for anything extra they paid for me.

[Abu Zainab]

I wouldn't call it pay back....Whatever we do we cannot repay them....We should support them in every way possible and not make them feel that we are doing any favor or something...because we are not. Its our duty.

Rabbir-harhuma kama rabbaayaani sagheeraa (Oh my Lord have mercy on them both...like the way they raised me and cared for me when I was young)

[Life_Is_Short]

Of course, we can not pay every favour but I was talking about paying back the extra money.

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[GuCcI]

I think it's a nice gesture, agree with Imraan,.. if you're earning at a certain point you should be giving some whether they 'need' it or not. It would make them happy.

[tyciol]

I believe this largely depends on the type of life you have led with them. Despite idealism, parenting is not (or is rarely, at most) a purely giving role. There is always some 'take'. I believe parents who are more fully giving are more likely to have children who want to reward them for their generosity.

Conversely, a parent who exploits/abuses their children, gives a bare minimum, sets a bad example, I would not expect their children to feel a need to reward them.

[PouringRain]

I never felt a need to pay back my parents, but a lot of that is because of how I was raised. What I mean is, for example, no extra money was ever given unless I worked around the house and did chores. So, I was mowing the lawn at age 12, cooking full time for my family a few years after that, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, dusting, etc. And then the money I was given, my allowance, was next to nothing. It was something like $5 a week, and that was not in a day and age when $5 was a lot. :) All of my peers got $25 or more and had much less chores to do. My parents lived very frugally, so I was never taken out for clothes shopping or to have any pampering, etc. I did not get my own vehicle until I was on my own, out of the house, and supporting myself. I was living on my own since 17 1/2 and fully supporting myself 100% at 18 1/2. Those are only some examples, but for me I did not ever feel the need to pay back my parents for anything.

At the point in my life now, if I go out to eat with my parents, the majority of the time either I pay or else I give my father money for mine and my children's food. It is very rare that he pays for us all, even though his income is more than 10 times my own. This is just how things are. :)

[Unkn0wn]

When you're a children, parents support you both in financial and emotional. When you grow up, you do the same. So you can't really call it a pay back.

['Abd Al-Maajid]

^ I agree. Paying back the extra our parents spent on us looks rude to me.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
it depends. if its something that is customary to know that you should pay back (such as a large amount of money they have lent you or if its expected/family norm, etc that they should pay you back), then yes you should.

you should be forgiving and overlook any money of yours they spend whether they take it from you unknowingly or with your permission.

things they do for you when you where little, i dont think should be paid back...thats usually "translated" when you are older into spending on them, caring for them, etc.

[__follower]

depends wat kind of situation are u in
and if u are reli able to pay then u shud pay back