Is it a sin to marry someone who doesnt pray ??

[distressed]

Salaam

I wanted to know the rulings on this ?? some1 has mentioned this to me, and it got me thinking, would i be committing a sin, if i married some1 who doesnt pray ?? would the marriage be invalid ?? children illegitmate ?? do i make this a requirement when looking 4 a partner ?? what if he starts off praying, in the beginning, then refuses to after ?? Ive been told if this happened, then a divorce would have to be sought ? is this true ??

D

[revert2007]

Assalamualikum.A woman who is married to a man who doesn't pray at all and that man says clearly that he doens't pray at all and he addmits it..then that woman must get divorce.She can divorce him in this case.She must go to the religious department and get the divorce.

The hadith said,marry a woman for her deen.I guess same goes to a woman-marry a man for his deen.
Allah knows the best.

Assalamualikum

[distressed]

This is the first ive heard of this ?? so basically if i marry som1 who doesnt pray im committing a sin ?? then ive no chance of gettin wed...cos the suitors that are likely to be matched up, arent going to pray, so do i just keep refusing then ??

[aadil77]

This is the first ive heard of this ?? so basically if i marry som1 who doesnt pray im committing a sin ?? then ive no chance of gettin wed...cos the suitors that are likely to be matched up, arent going to pray, so do i just keep refusing then ??

actually scholars have gone as far as saying that if you marry someone who has abondoned the prayers then you are actually commiting zina as the person is not considered muslim

sis if the person prays on and off due to laziness but has not given up on praying then that is a different case, inshAllah you will find someone suitable

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[aadil77]

this should explain it inshAllah http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/95077

[CosmicPathos]

There is a difference in a person who doesnt pray and believes that prayer is nto necessary and the person who does not pray but does believe that prayer is obligatory.

[cat eyes]

Dont get confused though. some women can easily get the wrong idea and just go ahead and divorce there husband if he just misses one or two prayers lol.

[distressed]

actually scholars have gone as far as saying that if you marry someone who has abondoned the prayers then you are actually commiting zina as the person is not considered muslim

sis if the person prays on and off due to laziness but has not given up on praying then that is a different case, inshAllah you will find someone suitable

I dont pray myself, & i wasnt aware of this till yesterday. I do wana pray again, but on the marriage front, I dont feel like i can make such demands on a man.

[cat eyes]

This is the first ive heard of this ?? so basically if i marry som1 who doesnt pray im committing a sin ?? then ive no chance of gettin wed...cos the suitors that are likely to be matched up, arent going to pray, so do i just keep refusing then ??

Some people just need to be given a little bit of dawah to help them on there way. you will find many muslims that dont know that if you miss your prayers its very serious

Others do know the seriousness of it but still neglect but still we should not judge because a person might have stopped praying due to depression or what ever or many reasons and they just need a push and a reminder

[distressed]

Some people just need to be given a little bit of dawah to help them on there way. you will find many muslims that dont know that if you miss your prayers its very serious

Others do know the seriousness of it but still neglect but still we should not judge because a person might have stopped praying due to depression or what ever or many reasons and they just need a push and a reminder

I mentioned this to a friend at work, & she said it wasnt true which is why i asked the question here. The thing is i cant keep refusing marriage, cos the chances of me getting matched up with a praying person are like NIL! people are getting annoyed with me already. So what do i do ?

[cat eyes]

I mentioned this to a friend at work, & she said it wasnt true which is why i asked the question here. The thing is i cant keep refusing marriage, cos the chances of me getting matched up with a praying person are like NIL! people are getting annoyed with me already. So what do i do ?

what you do is pray istikharah :) asK Allah for guidance. this is what we do when we are confused about a certain thing. you see we can't look in to somebodies heart only Allah can so inshaAllah your heart will be guided in the right direction. also sister it would be better if you asked a scholar about this... he will be able to give you a more detailed answer. some scholars are actually more strict then others when it comes to certain things like salah. some scholars say that if the husband is supporting you, feeding you etc but not praying, he has not left the fold of islam if he is doing the other duties of a husband. also remember like i had told you on your thread that you should start praying but take your time then gradually build it up to 5 times a day. dont rush it. take your time. and just remember that Allah gives us everything and he will give you a husband too.

[aadil77]

I mentioned this to a friend at work, & she said it wasnt true which is why i asked the question here. The thing is i cant keep refusing marriage, cos the chances of me getting matched up with a praying person are like NIL! people are getting annoyed with me already. So what do i do ?

sis are you saying all your muslims marriage proposals are from men who do not believe in praying and do not pray at all?

if you can't find someone who does not pray 5 times a day, then atleast find someone who prays sometimes and only misses prayers due to laziness and not due to him considering prayers uncompulsary, hope you get what I mean

[distressed]

sis are you saying all your muslims marriage proposals are from men who do not believe in praying and do not pray at all?

if you can't find someone who does not pray 5 times a day, then atleast find someone who prays sometimes and only misses prayers due to laziness and not due to him considering prayers uncompulsary, hope you get what I mean

yep, no prayers at all, & finding som1 that prays sometimes well thats hardly gona happen either, guys dont do that sort of thing, well not the ones, that i can look in2 marrying in2. The thing is i didnt wana marry before, & i had a lot of pressure, now ive kinda come round to the idea, but then i find out this yesterday. I cant make them sorts of demands on sum1. for a girl its seen as a disgrace to be unmarried at a certain age, & people start to talk (not that im bothered about that). Its just ive been told i have to stick within the caste system (which i dont agree with ) and now if i marry sum1 that doesnt pray then its a sin ?? then isnt it just better that i just dont marry ?? but then im made to feel guilty...with people saying its fard etc, etc.

Cat-eyes Ive neva done istikhara, so what if i get guided to sum1 thats a gud person, but doesnt pray ?? again i cant marry him can i ?? cos thats a sin rite ?

[Jennie]

Salaam,
I don't think it's sin to marry someone who doesen't pray.
World isn't full of good men and women, so when you have found one, you don't need him/her pray.

[revert2007]

Salaam,
I don't think it's sin to marry someone who doesen't pray.
World isn't full of good men and women, so when you have found one, you don't need him/her pray.

Assalamualikum.,Have you studied Islam well to give your own fatwa which contradicts Quran and Sunnah?
Be aware of what you say.Islam doesn't depend on our opinion and what we think.Islam depends on what is written in Quran and Hadith.

Assalamualikum

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
this isn't from the Islamic perspective but my own opinion. i think its important to try to marry one who will have a good influence on both ourselves and our future children.
marrying someone who doesnt pray is a no-no imo as they could lead you astray, and if you have kids, they will grow up thinking that missing prayers is ok. also, they may have trouble fulfilling this obligation as there was on-one steadfast on the deen to teach them how important it is...not to mention if the kids do grow up not praying, and later on Allah guides them, they may feel very angry at their parents for not teaching them this.

[shuraimfan4lyf]

Salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi Wa barakatuh
"Marriage proposal from one who smokes and drinks, and doesn’t pray regularly"

Praise be to Allaah.

Our answer to you will consist of three messages in which there is advice: to them (your brothers), to the suitor and to you. This is how we will answer your question.

Firstly:

A message to your brothers:

1 – Allaah has commanded you to look for that which is in the best interests of your sister in both religious and worldly terms, which includes choosing a good husband who is suitable for your sister, and not preventing her from marrying one who is suitable. You know that marriage cannot be done without a wali (guardian), and that one of the most important duties of the wali is to look for a good husband and make a good choice, even if that means the guardian offering his sister or daughter in marriage to righteous people. Marrying your sister to one who is not suitable or preventing a suitable man from proposing marriage to her is a betrayal of the trust with which Islam has entrusted you.

2 – You should note that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has told you of the qualities to be found in the man who is suitable for your sister, which may be summed up in two characteristics: religious commitment and good character. These two characteristics, in sha Allaah, will guarantee good and happiness for your sister and her children. The one who is religiously committed will take care of her rights and he will do what Allaah has commanded him to do towards her and her children. He will encourage her to do good and obey Allaah, and will warn her against evil and sin.

His good character will prevent him from mistreating her, and will make him continue to treat her well; if he dislikes one characteristic in her, he will be pleased with another, so he will be patient in putting up with any crookedness in her nature which Allaah has created in her, and if he wants to leave her he will do so in a kind manner and will give her her rights.

3 – You should note that it is not permissible for you to marry her to a kaafir, and it is not good for an evildoer to marry your sister. Marriage to a kaafir means that the marriage is invalid, and marriage to an evildoer is a betrayal of the trust and a failure to protect her.

The one who does not pray is not a Muslim. The fact that he is a kaafir is mentioned in the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and that was the consensus of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them). The one who prays but neglects prayer in congregation is an evildoer (faasiq). The one who smokes is also an evildoer, as is the one who drinks alcohol, which is the mother of all evils. Such a man should not be married and he cannot be trusted to take care of his wife and protect her honour, and he cannot be trusted to take care of his children.

Allaah has made you the guardians in charge of arranging your sister’s marriage, and He has enjoined upon you to fulfil the trust and be sincere towards her in the best of ways. This means that you should find out how religiously committed the one who proposes marriage to your sister is, and how good his character is. If you find that he does not pray, then do not give your sister in marriage to him, because by not praying he is a kaafir. But you must advise him. If he is careless about praying on time or he does not pray in congregation, or he drinks alcohol, then do not give your sister in marriage to him either, because the trust requires you to marry her to one whose religious commitment and character are good.

4 –Fear Allaah with regard to your sister, and do not mistreat her. Do not be upset by the delay in her getting married or her remaining single. She is putting up with worries which we do not think that you men could bear. Instead of that you should try to support her and help her to be patient, and you should keep her good company, until she is blessed with a righteous husband and good children who will give her good company.

Secondly:

Our message to the suitor:

1 – Remember that Allaah, may He be exalted, has judged the one who does not pray to be a kaafir. The same is mentioned in the Sunnah, and the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) were unanimously agreed upon that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“But if they repent [by rejecting Shirk (polytheism) and accept Islamic Monotheism], perform As-Salaah (Iqaamat-as-Salaah) and give Zakaah, then they are your brethren in religion”

[al-Tawbah 9:11]

It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer.” Narrated by Muslim (82).

‘Abd-Allaah ibn Shaqeeq said: The companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not think that failing to do any deed counted as kufr, except prayer. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2622). If you are not praying, then you must repent from this deed and you have to go back to praying regularly, as Allaah has enjoined you, at the proper times fulfilling the conditions of prayer and doing all the obligatory parts of prayer.

2 – You should note that neglecting the prayer until the time for it is over is one of the deeds for which Allaah has warned of punishment. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As‑Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell”

[Maryam 19:59]

“Those who delay their Salaah (prayer from their stated fixed times)”

[al-Maa’oon 107:5]

3 – As for alcohol, how evil it is. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), and gambling, and Al‑Ansaab (stone altars for sacrifices to false gods) and Al‑Azlaam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaytaan’s (Satan’s) handiwork. So avoid (strictly all) that (abomination) in order that you may be successful”

[al-Maa’idah 5:90]

And the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every intoxicant is khamr and every intoxicant is haraam. Whoever drinks khamr in this world and dies when he is addicted to it and has not repented, will not drink it in the Hereafter.” Agreed upon.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every intoxicant is haraam. Allaah has made a covenant that whoever drinks intoxicants, He will give him to drink of the mud of al-khabaal.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, what is the mud of al-khabaal? He said: “The sweat of the people of Hell, or the juice of the people of Hell.” Narrated by Muslim (2002).

And he said: “Khamr is the mother of all evils. Whoever drinks it, his prayers will not be accepted for forty days, and if he dies with that in his stomach he will have died a death of Jaahiliyyah.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani, classed as hasan by al-Albaani.

4 – You should note that smoking is haraam, and it destroys wealth and the body. Allaah will ask you about your wealth and on what you spent it. If smoking is the cause of your death then you will come under the ruling on one who committed suicide, which is a major sin.

5 – We appreciate your honouring your parents, especially your mother. We also appreciate your good treatment of other people and your attention to your work. But you must note that your not praying or your shortcomings with regard to prayer, and the fact that you smoke, mean that the guardians must refuse to marry you to their sister, and the woman must refuse to accept you as a husband. We hope that you will review your deeds and make all of them good and righteous, then you will deserve to be the husband of a righteous woman, and you and she can build a righteous household based on the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and form a good and blessed family.

Thirdly:

Our message to you:

1 – We advise you to be patient and adhere steadfastly to the truth, and we do not advise you to compromise on the issue of religious commitment and good character in those who propose to you, even if you remain unmarried for a long time. Women are weak by nature, and a woman may marry a man who commits sins with the aim of guiding him, but many women have failed in that. So do not follow this path which many have followed before you, without succeeding. It is said that a woman follows the way of her husband.

2 – If your brothers want to insist on your marrying this suitor, then they must understand why you are refusing to marry him, and they should tell him frankly about that, and take a promise from him that he will adhere to the laws of Allaah. That may be done with the knowledge of his family, so as to ensure his seriousness about keeping his promise. There should be a lapse of time to prove whether he is actually keeping his promise, before the marriage contract is completed.

3 – If we exclude his not praying, the other sins that he is committing do not affect the validity of the marriage contract, but we advise you to do that which is best. If you choose to marry him in spite of all the problems he has, with the hope that he will be guided, that is up to you. Rather we say this so that you will not think that marrying him – in the latter case – is haraam, although we prefer for you to be patient and make du’aa’, so that Allaah will give you a way out and send you a husband who is better than him.

4 – You should note that married life with one who is religiously committed and of good character is a happy life in which a woman can establish her household in accordance with Qur’aan and Sunnah, and develop herself and raise her children in accordance with that which our Lord loves and is pleased with. But a life with one who commits sin will bring worries and distress and a focus on worldly matters, and a failure to attain the pinnacle of good morals. Sin drags a person to further sin, until his heart becomes blackened and he does not acknowledge anything good or condemn anything bad. The one who is of good character and religiously committed may occasionally do something bad, just as the one who commits sin may occasionally do something good, but marriage, partnership, love and brotherhood can only be based on that which is present and established, not that which is hoped for or impossible.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The most important characteristics for which a woman should choose a suitor are good character and religious commitment. Wealth and good lineage are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the suitor should be religiously committed and of good character, because the woman will not lose anything with a husband who is religiously committed and of good character. If he keeps her, he will keep her on reasonable terms and if he divorces her he will release her with kindness. Moreover the one who is religiously committed and of good character will be a blessing for her and her children, and she will learn good attitudes and religion from him. But if he is not like that, then she should keep away from him, especially some of those who are negligent about performing prayers or who are known to drink alcohol – Allaah forbid. As for those who do not pray at all, they are kuffaar and it is not permissible for them to marry believing women, and they are not permissible for (believing women) either. What matters is that the believing woman should focus on good character and religious commitment. As for good lineage, if that is present too, then it is better, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then give (your daughter or female relative under your care) in marriage to him.” But if they are socially compatible, that is better.

Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah (2/702)

And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If the suitor does not pray in congregation, then he is a faasiq (evildoer) who is disobeying Allaah and His Messenger, and is going against the consensus of the Muslims, which is that praying in congregation is one of the best acts of worship. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (23/222): The scholars are unanimously agreed that it – i.e., praying in congregation – is one of the most emphasized acts of worship, best acts of obedience, and greatest symbols of Islam. End quote.

But this evil deed does not put him beyond the pale of Islam, so it is permissible for him to marry a Muslim woman, but someone else who adheres more strictly to the religion and good attitudes is better than him, even if he is less wealthy and of an inferior lineage, based on what is said in the hadeeth: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then give (your daughter or female relative under your care) in marriage to him.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, even if he has some fault? He said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then give (your daughter or female relative under your care) in marriage to him,” three times. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi. And it is narrated in al-Saheehayn and elsewhere from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”

These two ahaadeeth indicate that the first things that should be sought in both men and women are religious commitment and good character. What the guardian who fears Allaah and takes his responsibility seriously should do is to pay attention to the teaching of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), because he will be asked about that on the Day of Resurrection. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And (remember) the Day (Allaah) will call to them, and say: What answer gave you to the Messengers?”

[al-Qasas 28:65]

“Then surely, We shall question those (people) to whom it (the Book) was sent and verily, We shall question the Messengers.

7. Then surely, We shall narrate unto them (their whole story) with knowledge, and indeed We have not been absent”

[al-A’raaf 7:6-7]

But if the suitor does not pray at all, whether in congregation or alone, then he is a kaafir who is beyond the pale of Islam who must be asked to repent. If he repents and starts to pray, then Allaah will accept his repentance if it is sincerely for the sake of Allaah, otherwise he should be executed as a kaafir and apostate, and he should be buried somewhere other than the Muslim graveyard, without being washed or shrouded or having the funeral prayer offered for him. The evidence that he is a kaafir is to be found in the texts of the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). – He quoted the evidence for the one who does not pray being a kaafir, then he said:

As it is clear from the texts of Qur’aan and Sunnah that the one who does not pray is a kaafir whose kufr puts him beyond the pale of Islam, it is not permissible for him to marry a Muslim woman, according to the texts and scholarly consensus. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you”

[al-Baqarah 2:221]

“then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”

[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]

The Muslims are unanimously agreed upon what is indicated by these two texts, that it is haraam for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir. Based on that, if he gives a woman whose guardian he is, whether his daughter or anyone else, in marriage to a man who does not pray, the marriage is not valid and the woman does not become permissible to that man as the result of that marriage contract, because it is a contract which is not in accordance with the command of Allaah and His Messenger. It is narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever does an action that is not in accordance with this matter of ours will have it rejected.”

So if a marriage is to be annulled because the husband gives up praying, unless he repents and comes back to Islam by praying, so what about marrying someone who is already known not to pray?

To sum up: with regard to this suitor who does not pray, if he does not pray in congregation then he is a faasiq (evildoer) whose evil deed does not make him a kaafir, and it is permissible to marry him in that case, but one who is religiously committed and of good character is better than him.

If he does not pray at all, either in congregation or alone, then he is a kaafir and apostate who is beyond the pale of Islam, and it is not permissible for him to marry a Muslim woman under any circumstances, unless he repents sincerely and starts to pray and adhere to the religion of Islam.

Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (12/question no 31).

Seek the help of Allaah with patience, prayer and du’aa’, and we ask Allaah to make you steadfast in obeying Him, and to bless you with a righteous husband and good offspring.

And Allaah knows best.

[brotherubaid]

As-salaam Alaikum, Inshallah this may clear your doubts.

Question: If you do not pray salat out of laziness on purpose, are you a kafir or just a bad Muslim? Please answer.


Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.


Imaam Ahmad said that the one who does not pray because of laziness is a kaafir. This is the more correct view and is that indicated by the evidence of the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, and by the words of the Salaf and the proper understanding. (Al-Sharh al-Mumti’ ‘ala Zaad al-Mustanqi’, 2/26).
Anyone who examines the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah will see that they indicate that the one who neglects the prayer is guilty of Kufr Akbar (major kufr) which puts him beyond the pale of Islam.


Among the evidence to be found in the Qur’aan is:


The aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they repent [by rejecting Shirk (polytheism) and accept Islamic Monotheism], perform As-Salaat (Iqaamat-as-Salaat) and give Zakaat, then they are your brethren in religion.” [al-Tawbah 9:11]
The evidence derived from this aayah is that Allaah defined three things that the Mushrikeen have to do in order to eliminate the differences between them us: they should repent from shirk, they should perform prayer, and they should pay zakaah. If they repent from shirk but they do not perform the prayer or pay zakaah, then they are not our brethren in faith; if they perform the prayer but do not pay zakaah, then they are not our brethren in faith. Brotherhood in religion cannot be effaced except when a person goes out of the religion completely; it cannot be effaced by fisq (immoral conduct) or lesser types of kufr.


Allaah also says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell. Except those who repent and believe (in the Oneness of Allaah and His Messenger Muhammad), and work righteousness. Such will enter Paradise and they will not be wronged in aught.” [Maryam 19:59-60]
The evidence derived from this aayah is that Allaah referred to those who neglect the prayer and follow their desires, Except those who repent and believe, which indicates that at the time when they are neglecting their prayers and following their desires, they are not believers.


The evidence of the Sunnah that proves that the one who neglects the prayer is a kaafir includes the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his neglect of the prayer.” (Narrated by Muslim in Kitaab al-Eemaan from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)).
It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Husayb (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘The covenant that distinguishes between us and them is the prayer, and whoever neglects it has disbelieved (become a kaafir).’” (It was narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawood, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa’i and Ibn Maajah). What is meant here by kufr or disbelief is the kind of kufr which puts a person beyond the pale of Islam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made prayer the dividing line between the believers and the disbelievers. It is known that the community of kufr is not the same as the community of Islam, so whoever does not fulfil this covenant must be one of the kaafireen (disbelievers).


There is also the hadeeth of ‘Awf ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him), according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of your leaders are those whom you love and who love you, who pray for you and you pray for them. The worst of your leaders are those whom you hate and who hate you, and you send curses on them and they send curses on you.” He was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, should we not fight them by the sword?” He said, “Not as long as they are establishing prayer amongst you.”


This hadeeth indicates that those in authority should be opposed and fought if they do not establish prayer, but it is not permissible to oppose and fight them unless they make a blatant show of kufr and we have evidence from Allaah that what they are doing is indeed kufr. ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called us and we gave bay’ah (oath of allegiance) to him. Among the things that we pledged to do was to listen and obey him both when we felt enthusiastic and when we were disinclined to act, both at times of difficulty and times of ease, and at times when others were given preference over us, and that we would not oppose those in authority. He said: ‘unless they made a blatant show of kufr and you have evidence from Allaah that what they are doing is indeed kufr.’” (Agreed upon). On this basis, their neglecting the prayer, for which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said we should oppose them and fight them by the sword, constitutes an act of blatant kufr for which we have evidence from Allaah that it is indeed kufr.


If someone were to say: is it not permissible to interpret the texts about a person who neglects prayer being a kaafir as referring to the one who neglects the prayer because he does not think it is obligatory?


We would say: it is not permissible to interpret the texts in this way because there are two reservations about this interpretation:
it involves ignoring the general description that the Lawgiver took into consideration and to which the ruling was connected. The ruling that the person who neglects prayer is a kaafir is connected to the action of neglecting prayer, not to his denial of it being obligatory. Brotherhood in religion is based on performing the prayer, not on whether a person declares it to be obligatory. Allaah did not say, “If they repent and state that the prayer is obligatory”, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not say “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his denial that the prayer is obligatory” or “The covenant that distinguishes between us and them is our statement that the prayer is obligatory, so whoever denies that it is obligatory has disbelieved.” If this is what Allaah and His Messenger had meant, then not stating it clearly would have contradicted what is said in the Qur’aan. For Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And We have sent down to you the Book (the Qur’aan) as an exposition of everything” [al-Nahl 16:89]

“And We have also sent down unto you (O Muhammad) the Dhikr [reminder and the advice (i.e. the Qur’aan)], that you may explain clearly to men what is sent down to them” [al-Nahl 16:44] It is not correct to refer to a reason which the Lawgiver did not make a factor in ruling a person to be a kaafir, because if a person who does not have the excuse of ignorance denies that the five daily prayers are obligatory then he is deemed to be a kaafir, whether he prays or not. If a person performs the five daily prayers, fulfilling all the conditions of prayer and doing all the actions that are obligatory or mustahabb, but he denies that the prayers are obligatory with no valid reason for doing so, then he is a kaafir, even though he is not neglecting the prayers. From this it is clear that it is not correct to interpret the texts about neglecting the prayers as referring to denying that they are obligatory. The correct view is that the person who neglects the prayer is a kaafir who is beyond the pale of Islam, as is clearly stated in the report narrated by Ibn Abi Haatim in his Sunan from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) exhorted us: ‘Do not associate anything in worship with Allaah, and do not neglect the prayer deliberately, for whoever neglects the prayer deliberately puts himself beyond the pale of Islam.” Moreover, if we interpret the ahaadeeth about neglecting the prayer as referring to a denial that it is obligatory, there would be no point in the reports referring specifically to the prayer, because this ruling applies equally to zakaah, fasting and Hajj – whoever neglects any of these, denying that it is obligatory, is a kaafir, if he does not have the excuse of ignorance.
Just as the one who neglects the prayer is deemed to be a kaafir on the basis of the evidence of the texts and reports, so he may also be deemed to be a kaafir on the basis of rational analysis. How can a person be a believer if he neglects the prayer which is the pillar of religion, and when there are aayaat and ahaadeeth urging us to perform prayer which make the wise believer rush to do the prayer, and when there are aayaat and ahaadeeth warning against neglecting it, which make the wise believer scared to ignore the prayer? Once we have understood this, a person cannot be a believer if he neglects the prayer.

If a person were to say: can we not interpret kufr in the case of one who neglects the prayer as meaning a lesser form of kufr (kufr al-na’mah) rather than the kind of kufr which puts a person beyond the pale of Islam (kufr al-millah)? Or can we not interpret it as being less than Kufr Akbar (major kufr) and more like the kufr referred to in the ahaadeeth, “There are two qualities that exist among people which are qualities of kufr: slandering people’s lineage and wailing over the dead” and “Trading insults with a Muslim is fisq (immoral conduct) and exchanging blows with him is kufr”, etc.?

We would say that this interpretation is not correct for a number of reasons:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made prayer the dividing line between kufr and faith, between the believer and the disbeliever. This is where he drew the line, and the two things are quite distinct and do not overlap. Prayer is one of the pillars of Islam, so when the person who neglects it is described as a kaafir, this implies the kind of kufr that puts a person beyond the pale of Islam, because he has destroyed one of the pillars of Islam. This is a different matter from attributing kufr to a person who does one of the actions of kufr. There are other texts which indicate that the kufr of the one who neglects the prayer is the kind of kufr which puts a person beyond the pale of Islam, so what is meant here by kufr should be interpreted according to the apparent meaning, so as avoid contradictions between the texts. The description of kufr in those ahaadeeth is different. Concerning neglecting the prayer, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Between a man and shirk and kufr.” Here the word kufr is preceded in the original Arabic by the definite article “al”, which indicates that what is referred to here is the reality of kufr. This is in contrast to the other ahaadeeth where kufr is referred to without the definite article, or in a verbal form, which indicates that this is a part of kufr or that the person has disbelieved by doing this action, but it is not the absolute kufr which places a person beyond the pale of Islam.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said in his book Iqtidaa’ al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem (p. 70, Al-Sunnah Al-Muhammadiyyah edn.), concerning the hadeeth of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ““There are two qualities that exist among people which are qualities of kufr”:

“The phrase ‘which are qualities of kufr’ means that these two qualities which exist among people are qualities of kufr because they are among the deeds of kufr and they exist among people. But not everyone who has a part of kufr becomes a kaafir because of it, unless there exists in his heart the reality of kufr. Similarly, not everyone who has a part of faith becomes a believer because of it, unless there exists in his heart the essential reality of faith. So there is a distinction between kufr that is preceded [in the original Arabic] by the definite article “al”, as in the hadeeth ‘Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands nothing but his neglecting the prayer’, and kufr that is not preceded by the definite article but is used in an affirmative sense.’”

So it is clear that the person who neglects the prayer with no excuse is a kaafir who is beyond the pale of Islam, on the basis of this evidence. This is the correct view according to Imaam Ahmad, and it is one of the two opinions narrated from al-Shaafa’i, as was mentioned by Ibn Katheer in his tafseer of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts” [Maryam 19:59]

Ibn al-Qayyim mentioned in his book Al-Salaah that it was one of the two views narrated from al-Shaafa’i, and that al-Tahhaawi narrated it from al-Shaafa’i himself.

This was also the view of the majority of the Sahaabah, indeed many narrated that there was consensus among the Sahaabah on this point. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Shaqeeq said: the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not think that neglecting any deed made a person a kaafir, apart from neglecting the prayer. This was reported by al-Tirmidhi and al-Haakim, who classed it as saheeh according to the conditions of (al-Bukhaari and Muslim). Ishaaq ibn Raahawayh, the well known imaam, said, It was reported with a saheeh isnaad from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that the one who neglects the prayer is a kaafir. This was also the view of the scholars from the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) until the present day: that the person who deliberately neglects the prayer with no valid excuse, until the time for that prayer is over, is a kaafir. Ibn Hazm said that it was reported from ‘Umar, ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf, Mu’aadh ibn Jabal, Abu Hurayrah and others among the Sahaabah. He said: “We do not know of any opposing view among the Sahaabah.” Al-Mundhiri narrated this from him in Al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, and added more names of Sahaabah: ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas, Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah and Abu’l-Dardaa’ – may Allaah be pleased with them. He said: apart from the Sahaabah, there are also Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Ishaaq ibn Raahawayh, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mubaarak, al-Nakha’i, al-Hakam ibn ‘Utaybah, Ayyoob al-Sakhtayaani, Abu Daawood al-Tayaalisi, Abu Bakr ibn Abi Shaybah, Zuhayr ibn Harb and others.
And Allaah knows best.


Reference: Risaalah fi Hukm Taarik al-Salaah (Paper on the ruling on one who neglects the prayer) by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen.

[Alpha Dude]

:sl:
Sister, please do not take this as me belittling you.

This is the first ive heard of this ?? so basically if i marry som1 who doesnt pray im committing a sin ?? then ive no chance of gettin wed...cos the suitors that are likely to be matched up, arent going to pray, so do i just keep refusing then ??

I dont pray myself, & i wasnt aware of this till yesterday. I do wana pray again, but on the marriage front, I dont feel like i can make such demands on a man.

The fact that you have to say things like this implies that you don't quite grasp the gravity of your religion.

This life is a test. A short one at that too. We are not meant to be here forever and compared to the hearafter, it is nothing.

By not following Allah's commands, we will most likely end up in hell. Our goal is to worship Allah to the best of our abilities. We should lift our gaze away from the dunya and change our focus onto the akhirah. We are slaves of Allah. Pause and think what that entails.

Worshipping shouldn't be seen as a burden either. Connect with Allah. Make dua for guidance.

When our mindset is such that we desire Allah's pleasure above all else (as we all should desire) then asking about a practising partner becomes a moot point. We would not even think to do it. Much like marrying a non-muslim, we wouldn't even consider it.

But the fact that you ask, implies that you don't place due importance to the worship of Allah. So first step sister, should be for you to change your perspective on life such that you wholeheartedly and unreseverdly desire the pleasure of Allah, above all else and secondary to none.

Consquences of not having that desire is hellfire. Somebody that doesn't attach importance to prayer and worship is going to be punished severely. Why would you want to marry somebody who will have that fate? He would most likely drag you down with him.

As for not being able to get married if you make such a demand, then realise that all is in the control and power of Allah. Make sincere dua, place religion above all else and InshaAllah doors will open while you thought it was impossible. Be patient and perservere.

Strive to marry an Allah focused individual that will guide you into to become a better muslim too and ultimately take you to jannah.

Cat-eyes Ive neva done istikhara, so what if i get guided to sum1 thats a gud person, but doesnt pray ?? again i cant marry him can i ?? cos thats a sin rite ?

Sister, understand that none of the 'goodness' a person can have will avail him in the hearafter if he didn't worship Allah.

The criterion ought to be religion first and foremost (which would automatically imply goodness in a person).

[أبو سليمان عمر]

I dont pray myself, & i wasnt aware of this till yesterday. I do wana pray again, but on the marriage front, I dont feel like i can make such demands on a man.

as for thisinshallah u need to know how importantit is to pray anyhow inshallah u canread this

Virtues of the Prayer

Author:Imaam Muhammad Ibn Saalih Al-'Uthaimeen
Source:Sifat Salaat-in-Nabee
Translator:isma'eel alarcon
Produced by:al-manhaj.com
The Prayer: is the second pillar from the pillars of Islaam and the most important pillar of Islaam after the Shahaadah (testimony) of Faith.

The Prayer: is a link between the servant and his Lord. The Prophet (saws) said: "Indeed, when one of you prays, he speaks privately with his Lord." [Reported by Al-Bukhaaree] And Allaah says in the qudsee hadeeth: "I have divided the prayer between Myself and My servant into two parts, and My servant will have what he asks for.

So when the servant says: ‘Al-Hamdulillaahi Rabb-il-‘Alameen’, Allaah says: ‘My servant has praised Me.’

And when he says: ‘Ar-Rahmaan-ir-Raheem’, Allaah says: ‘My servant has extolled Me.’

And when he says: ‘Maaliki-yawm-id-Deen’, Allaah says: ‘My servant has honored Me.’

And when he says: ‘Iyyaaka Na’bdu wa Iyyaaka Nasta’een’, Allaah says: ‘This is between Me and My servant and My servant will have what he asks for.’

And when he says: ‘Ihdinaas-Siraat-al-Mustaqeem. Siraat-aladheena an’amta ‘alaihim. Ghairil-Maghdoobi ‘alaihim wa lad-Daalleen’, Allaah says: ‘This is for My servant and for My servant will be what he asks for.’" [Reported by Muslim]

The Prayer: is a garden of ‘ibaadaat (acts of worship), in which every splendid type of worship is found. There is the takbeer, by which the prayer is initiated, the standing in which the person praying recites the words of Allaah, the bowing in which he extols his Lord, the rising from the bowing position, which is filled with the praising of Allaah, the prostration in which he glorifies Allaah by His highness and in which he implores him through supplication, the sitting in which there is the tashahhud and (more) supplication and the closing with tasleem.

The Prayer: is a means of support and assistance in times of distress and grief. And it prevents one from evil and shameful deeds. Allaah says: "Seek assistance in patience and prayer." And He says: "Recite what has been revealed to you from the Book and establish the prayer. Verily, the prayer prevents one from evil and shameful deeds."

The Prayer: is the light of the believers in their hearts and in their place of gathering (on the Day of Judgement). The Prophet (saws) said: "The prayer is light." And he (saws) said: "Whoever guards it (his prayers), it will be a light, a proof and a (means of) salvation for him on the Day of Judgement." [Reported by Ahmad, Ibn Hibbaan and At-Tabaraanee]

The Prayer: is the joy and delight of the believers’ souls. The Prophet (saws) said: "My delight was placed in the prayer." [Reported by Ahmad and An-Nasaa’ee]

The Prayer: wipes away sins and expiates evil deeds. The Prophet (saws) said: "Do you think that if there was a river by the door of one of you and he bathed in it five times a day that there would remain any dirt on him?" They (the Companions) answered: "There would not remain any dirt on him." The Prophet (saws) said: "That is how it is with the five (daily) prayers, through them Allaah washes away the (minor) sins." [Reported by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim] And the Prophet (saws) said: "The five (daily) prayers and Jumu’ah (prayer) to Jumu’ah (prayer) are an expiation for what (sins) occur between them so long as one is not guilty of major sins." [Reported by Muslim]

The Prayer in Congregation: Ibn ‘Umar (raa) reported that the Prophet (saws) said: "Prayer in congregation is better than praying alone by twenty-seven degrees." [Reported by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim] Ibn Mas’ood (raa) said: "Whoever would be happy to meet Allaah tomorrow as a Muslim, then let him preserve (in establishing) these five prayers from the place where they are called from (i.e. masjids), for verily, Allaah has legislated for your Prophet the ways of guidance. And indeed these (five prayers in the masjid) are from the ways of guidance. And if you were to pray in your homes as this man who refrains (to pray in the masjid) prays in his home, then you would have abandoned the Sunnah of your Prophet. And if you were to abandon the Sunnah of your Prophet (saws) you would go astray. There is not a man that performs the ablution and does it well, then sets out to go to one of these masjids except that Allaah records a good deed for him for every step he takes and raises him up one level and erases one evil deed due to it. You have certainly seen us, and no one would refrain from the prayer (in the masjid) except the hypocrite whose hypocrisy was well known. And indeed a man would be brought supported by two men until he was made to stand in the row (for prayer)." [Reported by Muslim]

Al-Khushoo’ (Submissiveness) in the Prayer, which means that 1) the heart is present and attentive, and 2) preserving that condition - are both from the means of entering Paradise. Allaah says: "Successful indeed are the believers. Those who in their prayers are submissive. And those who turn away from vain talk. And those who pay their Zakaat. And those who protect their private parts - Except in front of their spouses or those (women) whom their right hands possess, for indeed they are not held to blame (in that). So whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors. And those who keep their trusts and covenants. And those who preserve their prayers. They are the inheritors - the ones who will inherit Al-Firdaus (highest level in Paradise), in which they will abide forever."

Being sincere to Allaah in the prayer and performing it according to the manner it is described in the Sunnah are the two fundamental conditions for its acceptance. The Prophet (saws) said: "Verily, actions are by intentions and every person will have what he intended." [Reported by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim] And he (saws) said: "Pray as you have seen me pray. {Reported by Al-Bukhaaree]

Written by Muhammad Ibn Saalih Al-‘Uthaimeen
On 4-13/1406H
and this
and this
dont forget this

Assalamualikum.,Have you studied Islam well to give your own fatwa which contradicts Quran and Sunnah?
Be aware of what you say.Islam doesn't depend on our opinion and what we think.Islam depends on what is written in Quran and Hadith.

Assalamualikum

JazakAllahu Khyargreat post



.....
It is not permissible for a person who does not pray to be married to a Muslim woman who does pray, since he is not a suitable match for her, because abandoning the prayer is an act of major disbelief, according to the saying of the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salam:

‘Between a man and polytheism and disbelief is the abandonment of prayer.’ (muslim no.82)

And the saying of the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salam:

‘The covenant between us and them is prayer; whoever abandons it has committed an act of disbelief.’ (At-tirmithi no. 2621)

Narrated by Imam Ahmad and the compilers of the Sunan, with an authentic chain of narrators.

There are many other evidences in the Book (of Allaah) and the Sunnah which prove the disbelief of one who abandons the prayer, even if he does not reject its obligation, according to the most correct of two opinions held by the scholars. However, if he rejects its obligation or mocked it, then he is guilty of major disbelief according to the consensus of the Muslims.

taking from Shaykh `Abdul-`Azeez Bin Baz
Fatawa Islamiyyah, Darussalam, volume 5, pages 173/174

[Zafran]

Assalamualikum.,Have you studied Islam well to give your own fatwa which contradicts Quran and Sunnah?
Be aware of what you say.Islam doesn't depend on our opinion and what we think.Islam depends on what is written in Quran and Hadith.

Assalamualikum

Salaam

The same can be applied to you and everyone that has given there "fatwa" on this issue in this thread as none opf us are scholars or are qualified to give a fatwa - she should go to her local Imam and ask him the question or a scholar in her area.

peace

[revert2007]

Salaam

The same can be applied to you and everyone that has given there "fatwa" on this issue in this thread as none opf us are scholars or are qualified to give a fatwa - she should go to her local Imam and ask him the question or a scholar in her area.

peace

Well I gave the answer given by a scholar.As a revert I am more aware of giving own opinion which contradicts quran and sunnah.Just because I didn;'t give the evidence in the beginning,it doens't mean what I said is from me or what I said is wrong.

Just check out this video

[piXie]

........................

[S_87]

not praying is a pretty serious issue, the majority opinion for a person who doesnt not pray is that it is kufr. this counts for a person that doesnt pray because they are lazy, even if they accept that praying is obligatory. for more on this read:
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/104412/pray%20kufr

now if we are looking for righteous people with deen, prayer must be on the forefront. it is one of the pillar sof islam, how can you find a good muslim who doesnt pray?
and remember the same works for you, you must try to pray my dear sister, whatever you do in life, you must not give into the shaytaan with regards to prayer. because once you have given into him for that, the rest of his job is easy. try to pray again and may Allah bless you with a righteous man who you will be happy with

[brotherubaid]

Salaam

The same can be applied to you and everyone that has given there "fatwa" on this issue in this thread as none opf us are scholars or are qualified to give a fatwa - she should go to her local Imam and ask him the question or a scholar in her area.

peace

People have posted here the fatwa of the schlras , that CONTAIN the evidences and views of the sahaba n the tabieen n the imams!! check my earlier reply and DO read it may Allah bless u.

[Raziah]

Alsalam alikum,

Do you really think that he will appreciate you if he doesn't appreciate Allah(swt)?

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam

. man says clearly that he doens't pray at all and he addmits it..then that woman must get divorce.

what I read that if one deos nt pray out of laziness , then it does not make him/her a kaafir. But if one denies that there is no need for prayer or claim that s/he does not believe in Allah and worshipping Him through salat , then s/he is not a Muslim anymore. S/he will be given a chance to repent .

To the OP sis , pl. talk to a Mufti.

[Zafran]

Well I gave the answer given by a scholar.As a revert I am more aware of giving own opinion which contradicts quran and sunnah.Just because I didn;'t give the evidence in the beginning,it doens't mean what I said is from me or what I said is wrong.

Just check out this video

do you know anything about schools of thought - if you do then it would be nice to know what school of thought the fatwa you have taken is from?

[Zafran]

Salaam




what I read that if one deos nt pray out of laziness , then it does not make him/her a kaafir. But if one denies that there is no need for prayer or claim that s/he does not believe in Allah and worshipping Him through salat , then s/he is not a Muslim anymore. S/he will be given a chance to repent .

To the OP sis , pl. talk to a Mufti.

salaam

Yes - this is also what I have read to.

peace

[Masuma]

Salaam

I wanted to know the rulings on this ?? some1 has mentioned this to me, and it got me thinking, would i be committing a sin, if i married some1 who doesnt pray ?? would the marriage be invalid ?? children illegitmate ?? do i make this a requirement when looking 4 a partner ?? what if he starts off praying, in the beginning, then refuses to after ?? Ive been told if this happened, then a divorce would have to be sought ? is this true ??

D

Really? Well then I would wait for the replies too. :D

But I don't think that it will make marriage haram. Nauzbillah! I mean if your "would-be husband/wife" doesn't pray, then you can make them to and in this way Allah will reward you too for every prayer they offer.

But here is a thing. Why marry a person who is not a practicing Muslim? Prophet (s.a.w) said that when a man marries, he might marry for one of the four things.
1. wealth
2. beauty
3. I forgot. :D
4. Taqwa (i.e. God's consciousness)
And the best among them is number 4.

So while marrying, don't you think we should see to it that whether the other person is more or equally religious as you; which is important for having a good life?

In this way, the other person can even guide you about religion and the respect between the partners would further increase.

But I don't know this matter properly. So I'm leaving it on others. May Allah Bless you!

[distressed]

:sl:
Sister, please do not take this as me belittling you.

The fact that you have to say things like this implies that you don't quite grasp the gravity of your religion.

This life is a test. A short one at that too. We are not meant to be here forever and compared to the hearafter, it is nothing.

By not following Allah's commands, we will most likely end up in hell. Our goal is to worship Allah to the best of our abilities. We should lift our gaze away from the dunya and change our focus onto the akhirah. We are slaves of Allah. Pause and think what that entails.

Worshipping shouldn't be seen as a burden either. Connect with Allah. Make dua for guidance.

When our mindset is such that we desire Allah's pleasure above all else (as we all should desire) then asking about a practising partner becomes a moot point. We would not even think to do it. Much like marrying a non-muslim, we wouldn't even consider it.

But the fact that you ask, implies that you don't place due importance to the worship of Allah. So first step sister, should be for you to change your perspective on life such that you wholeheartedly and unreseverdly desire the pleasure of Allah, above all else and secondary to none.

Consquences of not having that desire is hellfire. Somebody that doesn't attach importance to prayer and worship is going to be punished severely. Why would you want to marry somebody who will have that fate? He would most likely drag you down with him.

As for not being able to get married if you make such a demand, then realise that all is in the control and power of Allah. Make sincere dua, place religion above all else and InshaAllah doors will open while you thought it was impossible. Be patient and perservere.

Strive to marry an Allah focused individual that will guide you into to become a better muslim too and ultimately take you to jannah.

Sister, understand that none of the 'goodness' a person can have will avail him in the hearafter if he didn't worship Allah.

The criterion ought to be religion first and foremost (which would automatically imply goodness in a person).

Salaam

When i wrote this post, things were different, so your prob right i didnt have any idea about my religion. these last few weeks ive learnt a whole lot more, things are getting a bit clearer, and i understand lots more.

Although i understand NOW, what every1 is saying on here. Ive been told i hav to marry, like now, the thing is my only options are people that dont pray. so what do i do ? I cant ask an imam cos the ones in our community do cultural things mixed with relgion,.and ive only realised this recently. I knw if i ask a imam in our area, i wont get told the truth as such, cos there backwards.! & in our area no1 prays..well not the younger generation. If i refuse, then im given the nyc label that theres "something wrong " with me and upset my family + i dont get to talk to that person..

I know if i start asking about the prayer thing..then im gona offend people. obviously my religion comes first to me, but try telling this stuff to others.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
what about if you agree to meet the brother (even if you know he doesn't pray) ask subtly/indirectly (or whichever method you feel best will give you an answer) whether he prays or not and if he answers you with something you dislike then, you-already having preformed your preferences- thus disagree then everyone has seen the reason why you have rejected him with their own eyes- thus no reason to speculate and be suspicious???

if that doesn't work and you still get pestered by people/your family, then by you rejecting him, they know what your preferences are and*hopefully* will see why you wont settle for anything less. so basically you have to let them know that accepting one who doesnt pray is a no-no. be stubborn about it and dont accept otherwise.

i think you also (if you can) wait until you feel steadfast in your deen and have been practicing for a while...this will show people the type of person you are/the type of person you are looking for and more importantly it could be dawah for others and in a while there will be more people praying...so it wont seem such an alien practice that you want someone who prays.

if not many people in your area pray, is it possible to move somewhere to a place where you will meet a brother who is of your culture but does pray?

[distressed]

:
what about if you agree to meet the brother (even if you know he doesn't pray) ask subtly/indirectly (or whichever method you feel best will give you an answer) whether he prays or not and if he answers you with something you dislike then, you-already having preformed your preferences- thus disagree then everyone has seen the reason why you have rejected him with their own eyes- thus no reason to speculate and be suspicious????

I was thinking of doing this but the thing is if i agree to meet sum1, then people will take it as gospel that ive agreed to the marriage just thru 1 meeting. I can try this, but im not sure how many q's if any and how much time i will have to ask what i need to. basically, any1 that gets put forward, i'll have basic family background knowledge, so i'll know b4 meeting them if they pray or not.

:if that doesn't work and you still get pestered by people/your family, then by you rejecting him, they know what your preferences are and*hopefully* will see why you wont settle for anything less. so basically you have to let them know that accepting one who doesnt pray is a no-no. be stubborn about it and dont accept otherwise.

I understand what your saying, if only it was that simple. The thing is cos of my age, i cant really hang around or so ive been told (im 29 next month) for a woman to be unmarried its not acceptable, well not not in our community, & theres only so much critism you can take from elder aunties, that like to take a dig or two over there tea, when there asking shaadi questions.

:i think you also (if you can) wait until you feel steadfast in your deen and have been practicing for a while...this will show people the type of person you are/the type of person you are looking for and more importantly it could be dawah for others and in a while there will be more people praying...so it wont seem such an alien practice that you want someone who prays.

if not many people in your area pray, is it possible to move somewhere to a place where you will meet a brother who is of your culture but does pray?

I dont think just by me praying some1 will take notice, wud be nyc, but i know that wont happen. ive only starting looking in2 islam myself last few weeks -history etc. I did think, if the pressure gets worst, then i move out, but then again, same thing, cos then i'll get labelled as a woman whos doing something wrong, if you get what i mean & my family will get the backlash, even though im not that sort of person. Its hard to know wat to do for the best sumtimes.

D

[Ummu Sufyaan]

I was thinking of doing this but the thing is if i agree to meet sum1, then people will take it as gospel that ive agreed to the marriage just thru 1 meeting. I can try this, but im not sure how many q's if any and how much time i will have to ask what i need to. basically, any1 that gets put forward, i'll have basic family background knowledge, so i'll know b4 meeting them if they pray or not.

just intentionally meet a guy who you know everyone else dislikes as well and use that as your "veil" :P

I understand what your saying, if only it was that simple. The thing is cos of my age, i cant really hang around or so ive been told (im 29 next month) for a woman to be unmarried its not acceptable, well not not in our community, & theres only so much critism you can take from elder aunties, that like to take a dig or two over there tea, when there asking shaadi questions.

yeah people dont shut up but would you really marry someone you don't really like just to shut people up? don't people eventually get bored of talking about the same thing :hmm:

I dont think just by me praying some1 will take notice, wud be nyc, but i know that wont happen. ive only starting looking in2 islam myself last few weeks -history etc. I did think, if the pressure gets worst, then i move out, but then again, same thing, cos then i'll get labelled as a woman whos doing something wrong, if you get what i mean & my family will get the backlash, even though im not that sort of person. Its hard to know wat to do for the best sumtimes.

i guess your best bet is dua then. hope all goes well :]

[Salahudeen]

Some sayings Amongst the Companions That the One Who Does Not Pray Is A Disbeliever

1 - Mujahid bin al-Hajjaj (the noble Tabi’i) asked Jabir bin ‘Abdillah (the noble Companion): “What actions did you use to differentiate between belief and disbelief during the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)?” He replied: “The prayer.”

[al-Marwazi in 'Ta'dhim Qadr as-Salah' (2/877) and al-Lalaka'i in 'I'tiqad Ahl as-Sunnah' (4/829), by way of Ya'qub bin Ibrahim, who is known as a trustworthy narrator]

2 - The noble Tabi’i ‘Abdullah bin Shaqiq al-’Aqili said: “The Companions of Muhammad did not see the abandonment of any actions as consituting disbelief except for the prayer.”

[at-Tirmidhi (2622) and al-Hakim (1/1248) by way of Bishr bin al-Mufaddal. al-Hakim declared it to be authentic on the conditions of al-Bukhari and Muslim]

al-Mubarakfuri commented on this in ‘Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi’ (7/370) by saying: “This saying of ‘Abdullah bin Shaqiq – in its apparent meaning – proves that the Companions of the Messenger of Allah believed the abandoment of prayer to be disbelief. What is apparent from this statement is that the Companions were all agreed in this, since he said: “The Companions of Muhammad…,” which is a collective attribution.”

3 - The noble Tabi’i al-Hasan al-Basri said: “It has reached me that the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) used to say: “Between a servant and his falling into polytheism and disbelief is that he leaves the prayer without a valid excuse.”

[al-Lalaka'i (4/829, 1539), Ibn Battah in 'al-Ibanah' (p. 87), and al-Khallal in 'as-Sunnah' (4/124 and #1372)]

4 - Hammad bin Zayd narrated from Ayyub (a well-known Tabi’i) that he said: “To leave the prayer is disbelief. There is no difference of opinion on this.”

[al-Marwazi in 'Ta'dhim Qadr as-Salah' (2/925 and 978)]

5 - al-Marwazi also mentions that he heard Ishaq bin Rahwiyah (the well-known trustworthy narrator, the companion of Ahmad bin Hambal) say: “It has been authentically narrated from the Prophet (peace be upon him) that the one who leaves the prayer is a disbeliever. Likewise, this has been the opinion of the people of knowledge since the time of the Prophet up until our times: that the one who leaves the prayer beyond its proper time – intentionally and without a valid excuse – is a disbeliever.”

6 - al-Marwazi also mentioned in ‘Ta’dhim Qadr as-Salah’ (2/925): “We mentioned the reports narrated from the Prophet (peace be upon him) regarding the disbelief of the one who leaves the prayer, and his leaving the creed of Islam, and the permissibility of fighting the one who refuses to establish it. Then, we received similar reports from the Companions, and we did not come across any difference from this opinion from a single one of them. However, the people of knowledge began differing in this afterwards…”

And it is well-known that Muhammad bin Nasr al-Marwazi was famous for his vast knowledge of the sayings and opinions of the people of knowledge in the area of agreement and differing on various legal issues, as was mentioned by al-Khatib al-Baghdadi in ‘Tarikh Baghdad’ (3/315): “He was from the most knowledgable of people of the differences of opinion amonst the Companions and those who came after them.” Also, adh-Dhahabi supported this saying in ‘Siyar A’lam an-Nubala” (14/34): “It is said: “He was by far the most knowledgable of the scholars regarding the differences of opinion between the scholars.”"

7 - Ibn Taymiyyah mentioned in ‘Sharh al-’Umdah’ (2/75), as did Ibn al-Qayyim in ‘as-Salah’ (p.67), that this is the consensus of the Companions, due to the saying of ‘Umar, in the presence of the Companions, without any of them opposing his saying: “There is no share of Islam for the one who leaves the prayer,” or: “There is no Islam for the one who does not pray.”

8 - With all of this, nobody who says that the one who does not pray is not a disbeliever can find a single Companion who holds their opinion. In fact, they cannot find even a single Tabi’i except az-Zuhri, who was himself a minor Tabi’i.

Ibn Hazm says in ‘al-Muhalla’ (2/242): “We do not know of what we have mentioned from the Companions any difference of opinion amongst them, and the followers of the four madhahib are very eager to hold onto the difference of opinion from a Companion if this is in accordance with their desires. And it has been narrated from ‘Umar, ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Awf, Mu’adh bin Jabal, Abu Hurayrah, and other than them from the Companions that the one who leaves a single obligatory prayer – intentionally and beyond its proper time – then he is a disbelieving apostate.”

And al-Mundhiri mentioned in ‘at-Targhib wat-Tarhib’ (1/393) additional Companions who reported this: “…’Abdullah bin Mas’ud, ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas, Jabir bin ‘Abdillah, and Abu ad-Darda’ – may Allah be pleased with them all.” And from other than the Companions: “…Ahmad bin Hambal, Ishaq bin Rahwiyah, ‘Abdullah bin al-Mubarak, Ibrahim an-Nakha’i, al-Hakam bin ‘Utaybah, Ayyub as-Sakhtiyani, Abu Dawud at-Taylasi, Abu Bakr bin Abi Shaybah, Zuhayr bin Harb, and other than them.”

And this is the saying of the majority of the people of Hadith, and this was the opinion of Sa’id bin Jubayr, al-Hasan al-Basri, al-Awza’i, and Muhammad bin al-Hasan. It is the authentically narrated opinion of ash-Shafi’i, as Ibn Kathir mentioned in his ‘Tafsir’ (in his explanation of verse 59 in ‘Maryam’) and at-Tahawi narrated from ash-Shafi’i personally.

Final benefit: Ibn al-Qayyim said, in ‘as-Salah’: “The Muslims do not disagree that the intentional abandonment of the obligatory prayer is from the greatest and most major of sins, and that the sin of such a person is greater in the Sight of Allah than the sin of the one who commits murder and steals wealth, and commits fornication, and drinks alcohol, and that he is exposing himself to the punishment and anger of Allah, and humiliation in this life and the next.”

[cat eyes]

sister you need to marry somebody who will help you with your deen and not drag you down therefore find pious brother instead of one who does not practice and this is best advice i can give. its better for you in the hereafter

[distressed]

sister you need to marry somebody who will help you with your deen and not drag you down therefore find pious brother instead of one who does not practice and this is best advice i can give. its better for you in the hereafter

I get it ! but its not gona happen..and ive heaps of pressure on me, and im bein made to feel guilty...stress which i dont need in terms of my health! Ive all the emotions runnin within me, frustration, anger, the lot, wats worst is i wasnt even consulted..! The thing is my family are more bothered about what "will people think" to be honest i couldnt give a crap of wat small minded ignorant ppl think of me ? but hey wat do i do ? Ive had enuf of people bringing me down and making me out to be less of a woman, just cos i dont hav a ring on my finger.

I dont get chance to meet that person or ask q's so i wont get to know how compatible i am ? but again thats not something that i shud be worrying about apparently. the thing is im not ready for marriage i know that within myself, but ive 2 choices, i either stay as i am, and get this headache all the time which i really cant handle or marry sum1 and then get an annulment later..I know its not right..but im really stuck on wat to do!

so im just gona go along with what ever is decided and hopefully i'll get 4giveness from god..for making this huge mistake, thats basically gona ruin my life.

thanks for all the input..Im gona read up on the suggested sources.

D

[Ansariyah]

I dont see why people get so dramatic, seriously! We all know that Imaan is always fluctuating, its never the same. If Allah guides someone to pray they'll pray if they want to pray. Theres really no one who loves Allah n Islam n willingly refuses to pray never, there are inner Imaan issues.

We all know that sometimes we are misguided sometimes we need an Imaan boast. I dont understand why we're rulling out all those who don't pray for marriage. Who will help these people if they all rulled out for marriage?

I always hear people asking 'does he pray'? 'does she pray'? How many people pray n still committ sins? I know that our only connection wit Allah is through prayer, thats why I pray...but some people don't know that. They need dawah not a hammer!

[cat eyes]

I get it ! but its not gona happen..and ive heaps of pressure on me, and im bein made to feel guilty...stress which i dont need in terms of my health! Ive all the emotions runnin within me, frustration, anger, the lot, wats worst is i wasnt even consulted..! The thing is my family are more bothered about what "will people think" to be honest i couldnt give a crap of wat small minded ignorant ppl think of me ? but hey wat do i do ? Ive had enuf of people bringing me down and making me out to be less of a woman, just cos i dont hav a ring on my finger.

I dont get chance to meet that person or ask q's so i wont get to know how compatible i am ? but again thats not something that i shud be worrying about apparently. the thing is im not ready for marriage i know that within myself, but ive 2 choices, i either stay as i am, and get this headache all the time which i really cant handle or marry sum1 and then get an annulment later..I know its not right..but im really stuck on wat to do!

so im just gona go along with what ever is decided and hopefully i'll get 4giveness from god..for making this huge mistake, thats basically gona ruin my life.

thanks for all the input..Im gona read up on the suggested sources.

D

Pray istikharah. don't just rush in to the marriage! also you need to stop caring what people think.. this is very difficult to do i know sis but you have to try inshallah. when you do that you will be more confident and clear minded to make decisions and you won't feel pressured anymore!

I dont see why people get so dramatic, seriously! We all know that Imaan is always fluctuating, its never the same. If Allah guides someone to pray they'll pray if they want to pray. Theres really no one who loves Allah n Islam n willingly refuses to pray never, there are inner Imaan issues.

We all know that sometimes we are misguided sometimes we need an Imaan boast. I dont understand why we're rulling out all those who don't pray for marriage. Who will help these people if they all rulled out for marriage?

I always hear people asking 'does he pray'? 'does she pray'? How many people pray n still committ sins? I know that our only connection wit Allah is through prayer, thats why I pray...but some people don't know that. They need dawah not a hammer!

Im very disgusted with your remarks sister. the scholars have said chose a practicing bro/sis over a non practicing one. are you going to disagree with the scholars now too? :/

[Salahudeen]

I dont see why people get so dramatic, seriously! We all know that Imaan is always fluctuating, its never the same. If Allah guides someone to pray they'll pray if they want to pray. Theres really no one who loves Allah n Islam n willingly refuses to pray never, there are inner Imaan issues.

We all know that sometimes we are misguided sometimes we need an Imaan boast. I dont understand why we're rulling out all those who don't pray for marriage. Who will help these people if they all rulled out for marriage?

I always hear people asking 'does he pray'? 'does she pray'? How many people pray n still committ sins? I know that our only connection wit Allah is through prayer, thats why I pray...but some people don't know that. They need dawah not a hammer!

The reason we are so dramatic is because missing the prayer is a big sin, The Messenger of Allah (saw) has also said: “The difference between us and them is salaah. Whoever neglects it is a kaafir.” [Reported by Imaam Ahmad and the authors of Sunan with a Saheeh isnaad] –

it is no trivial thing to miss the salah, it is one of the pillars and a building can not stand without it's pillars.

[Ansariyah]

Im very disgusted with your remarks sister. the scholars have said chose a practicing bro/sis over a non practicing one. are you going to disagree with the scholars now too? :/

u shud look towards ur adab, cause theres nothing 'disgusting' about my post. Besides, praying doesnt necessarily mean 'practising'.

[Snowflake]

Relax inshaAllah chums :) Sadly, this discussion about those who pray and those who don't wouldn't even be happening if muslims had put deen before degrees and the duniya, and had every muslim prayed. However, it's better to choose a person who prays even if they're not a great muslim in other ways. Allah says prayer protects us from other evils, so although it might take time with some people, it's better than having a weak barrier than no barrier at all. Those who don't pray might as well be waving a 'come and get me' sign to the shaytaan. But it's also our duty to call our brothers and sisters to the right path. Maybe if more of us did, they'd be more potential spouses who prayed!

This might sound a bit contradictory to what I said about it's better to choose someone who prays, but actually it isn't. However, we have to remember that in the Prophet's (saw) times all muslims taught their kids about Islam, so nobody was ignorant about the importance of prayer. And in that case if they neglected prayer than others had a right to be wary of them.

Nowadays however, sadly, and very very sadly, some people aren't clued up at all due to their upbringing, so if they are good marriage material otherwise, then they should be given dawah/naseehah to start praying. I'd say 3 months maximum, and that's stretching it.. cuz salah is no light matter. If they start praying then al hamdulillah fantastico! If they don't then don't marry them. At least then there is no excuse for them to not pray.



:wa:

[Ansariyah]

The reason we are so dramatic is because missing the prayer is a big sin, The Messenger of Allah (saw) has also said: “The difference between us and them is salaah. Whoever neglects it is a kaafir.” [Reported by Imaam Ahmad and the authors of Sunan with a Saheeh isnaad] –

it is no trivial thing to miss the salah, it is one of the pillars and a building can not stand without it's pillars.

I completely believe the above n am not speaking against that...

but good to see that u too have missed my point.....

[cat eyes]

u shud look towards ur adab, cause theres nothing 'disgusting' about my post. Besides, praying doesnt necessarily mean 'practising'.

i will speak out if somebody is being wrongly advised when making one of the biggest decisions of her life.

i suggest you read over your post again so u can understand why i quoted you inshallah.

praying is one of the important pillars of islam and nobody is being dramatic about it. we all are trying to advise th sister according to what the scholars say and not just our own personal opinions.

we should not let our emotions get in the way.

i agree with sis scents. giving dawah would be a good start.

[Salahudeen]

I completely believe the above n am not speaking against that...

but good to see that u too have missed my point.....

What is your point? :hmm: that we should marry people who don't pray? or as sister scents said give them dawah first on the importance of prayer then if they don't pray refuse them?

[AhmadibnNasroon]

I dont see why people get so dramatic, seriously! We all know that Imaan is always fluctuating, its never the same. If Allah guides someone to pray they'll pray if they want to pray. Theres really no one who loves Allah n Islam n willingly refuses to pray never, there are inner Imaan issues.

We all know that sometimes we are misguided sometimes we need an Imaan boast. I dont understand why we're rulling out all those who don't pray for marriage. Who will help these people if they all rulled out for marriage?

I always hear people asking 'does he pray'? 'does she pray'? How many people pray n still committ sins? I know that our only connection wit Allah is through prayer, thats why I pray...but some people don't know that. They need dawah not a hammer!

Assalamu 3laykum,

The problem with your understanding of this issue is you're basing this on an issue regarding sin. Abandoning of the prayer is not as light as that, in fact, its an issue regarding emaan/kufr as many of the previous posters have mentioned.

Lets keep in mind Abu Bakr a'Siddeeq radiallaahu anhu fought the people who refused to pay zakat, and Zakat is a pillar AFTER salah, so what about the salah? The salah has such great importance that it is the first thing we will be questioned about on yawmul'qiyyamah.

If a person abandons the salah, then this person has expelled himself from the religion. This alone should tell you how serious this is and if a person doesn't pray, how do you expect them to teach your children? The prayer is essential and its value, essence, and importance is only superceded by Tawheed and jihad.

May Allah guide us all

[Alpha Dude]

I dont see why people get so dramatic, seriously! We all know that Imaan is always fluctuating, its never the same. If Allah guides someone to pray they'll pray if they want to pray. Theres really no one who loves Allah n Islam n willingly refuses to pray never, there are inner Imaan issues.

We all know that sometimes we are misguided sometimes we need an Imaan boast. I dont understand why we're rulling out all those who don't pray for marriage. Who will help these people if they all rulled out for marriage?

I always hear people asking 'does he pray'? 'does she pray'? How many people pray n still committ sins? I know that our only connection wit Allah is through prayer, thats why I pray...but some people don't know that. They need dawah not a hammer!

I don't think the people here are suggesting that those that don't pray are not in need of dawah. Of course they are and as you allude, using a 'hammer' approach is likely to have a negative consequence. No disagreement there.

However, when it comes to choosing a spouse, it is always better to marry someone that will encourage us in deen. The sister that created this thread is somewhat new to Islam. It would be very unfortunate for her to marry someone that is far from Islam.

She herself is having some difficulty in keeping strong in faith, how is she going to guide another that is further away from Islam than even her?

It's commendable that you don't like to judge people but don't be so emotional and say the first thing that comes into your mind, sister. Look at the context and advise accordingly.

[Ansariyah]

i will speak out if somebody is being wrongly advised when making one of the biggest decisions of her life.

i suggest you read over your post again so u can understand why i quoted you inshallah.

praying is one of the important pillars of islam and nobody is being dramatic about it. we all are trying to advise th sister according to what the scholars say and not just our own personal opinions.

we should not let our emotions get in the way.

i agree with sis scents. giving dawah would be a good start.

I think u completely mis'read my post but wat right do u have to call it 'disgusting'? Is this wat u call 'speaking out'? I think ur the 1 who needs to keep her emotions in check, practise wat u preach...miss 'only I give good advice'.

[cat eyes]

I think u completely mis'read my post but wat right do u have to call it 'disgusting'? Is this wat u call 'speaking out'? I think ur the 1 who needs to keep her emotions in check, practise wat u preach...miss 'only I give good advice'.

how far you will go to embarrass yourself? just accept that you have purposely given the sister wrong advice.. it will be better for you in future. get rid of your pride and your ego inshallah.

i have not misread your post at all. read the posts here and the evidence that people have given. the one that does not offer any salah puts him out of the fold of islam and for the sister to marry some one like this, it would be almost like she is marrying a non muslim THIS IS WHAT I FIND DISGUSTING!

and then you had the nerve to say that members who are telling the sister on what steps to take according to islam this is all to dramatic for your liking. i mean really if this is not disgusting, i don't know what is. to go against what islam is asking us to do and what is best for us.

again we are not making up all this from our own heads ''miss'' we are following islam.

now you are my sister in islam and i am not picking fight with you. im telling you be careful in future when advising somebody. this has consequences

[Ansariyah]

how far you will go to embarrass yourself? just accept that you have purposely given the sister wrong advice.. it will be better for you in future. get rid of your pride and your ego inshallah.

i have not misread your post at all. read the posts here and the evidence that people have given. the one that does not offer any salah puts him out of the fold of islam and for the sister to marry some one like this, it would be almost like she is marrying a non muslim THIS IS WHAT I FIND DISGUSTING!

and then you had the nerve to say that members who are telling the sister on what steps to take according to islam this is all to dramatic for your liking. i mean really if this is not disgusting, i don't know what is. to go against what islam is asking us to do and what is best for us.

again we are not making up all this from our own heads ''miss'' we are following islam.

now you are my sister in islam and i am not picking fight with you. im telling you be careful in future when advising somebody. this has consequences

I got nothing to b emberrassed about, no matter wat flaws I have, atleast im not displaying ur blatant holier than thou attitude. U cudve jst told me ina nice way wat I said wrong, instead of insulting me on a personal level, thats rich coming from someone who speaks of the importance of prayer.

[cat eyes]

I got nothing to b emberrassed about, no matter wat flaws I have, atleast im not displaying ur blatant holier than thou attitude. U cudve jst told me ina nice way wat I said wrong, instead of insulting me on a personal level, thats rich coming from someone who speaks of the importance of prayer.

rich for you maybe but let Allah be the judge of me thank you very much :) he knows my intention!

im not insulting you. im just laying out the facts clearly so sister distressed can see. i said i was disgusted which i was. i was being nice has i could possibly be! your overly sensitive. don't cry now cheer up! i just don't like people saying that for some one to follow islam is being dramatic. you are muslim, you of all people should know, we can not be talking like this.

[Ansariyah]

I don't think the people here are suggesting that those that don't pray are not in need of dawah. Of course they are and as you allude, using a 'hammer' approach is likely to have a negative consequence. No disagreement there.

However, when it comes to choosing a spouse, it is always better to marry someone that will encourage us in deen. The sister that created this thread is somewhat new to Islam. It would be very unfortunate for her to marry someone that is far from Islam.

She herself is having some difficulty in keeping strong in faith, how is she going to guide another that is further away from Islam than even her?

It's commendable that you don't like to judge people but don't be so emotional and say the first thing that comes into your mind, sister. Look at the context and advise accordingly.

I will repeat myself again 'sigh'....I never said to the sister marry someone who doesnt pray. I dont have to say wat everyone has already said, I was just stressing the point of dawah with gentleness without jumping to judging n labelling. There are good people wit good characters who don't pray but InshaAllah they will start praying when they are given dawah n Allah guides them.

Also the whole idea of basing the entire marriage decision on 'does he pray' is somewat strange to me, wat about the other factors?

[distressed]

Oh dear. no arguments plz! i merely asked a question, debate is healthy..but i hope it remains so.

thanks for the advice. Can i just say, I dont actually pray myself, apart from ramadan. having sed that b4 every1 guns me down, i know how important salah is, I know its one of the pillars etc. I didnt however realise that it was a must 2 pray if that makes sense. I dont come from a background of people that pray, most of my family only started practising maybe 10+ years ago. this is what its like in our community, no1 really prays. Ive taken all the advice on board with regard to a potential partner. although i agree wat your saying i dont think theres any chance of it happening.

although i acknowledge that its a sin, to neglect salah, i dont think its right any1 calling some1 else a kuffar ? if a person acknowledges islam, belives in allah but refuses to pray out of laziness..there still muslim..cos tats me.

saying that, the praying aspect changed today...i had a weird encounter last nite, I was drifting in and out of sleep and heard what sounded like kids screaming, for some reason i think there was a white man with the kids, but i dnt really know, it was pictured in my head, anyway at first i thought it was coming from outside but then i realised it was part of a dream..i then starting feeling anxious and remember someone saying that when you have a bad dream you recite:

A'uzu billahi min ash shaitani r rajimi Bismi 'llahi 'r-rahmani 'r-rahim and then spit over your shoulder I couldnt remember which one ?

I recited it, and as i was asleep on my left side i imitated spittin ova my left shoulder, I felt some kind of force stopping me from doin it, and i felt weak, i recited it a second time, but wen i tried to spit again, my duvet felt like it was fighting against me if that makes any sense, i could barely move my head, but managed to spit again, but i felt a real strong force, trying to over power me. It was auful, im not really good at explaining things, but i could hardly move. my body felt like jelly, and i was unable to move either from fear ? or wat ever this thing was. I dont know. I proceeded to recite 1st kalimah. when i looked at the time it was half 2 (uk time).

this isnt the first time this has happened to me, I used to suffer quite a lot during the nite. Ive had periods where i would either be in pain, & remember something pushing in2 my side, or i either try and move, and then realise i cant, due to being paralysed from waist down. I try to call for help, and nothing comes out of my mouth ? no words. Im left feeling anxious and distressed, so much to the point, where i used to be scared of going to sleep.

I was advised that maybe there was something in the room, as in a bad spirit, (every1 thats slept in the room has had a prob) so i changed the whole layout of my room, which was nearly 2 months ago. Nothing has happened since, so i thort everything was ok, but now this happens again. This has happened to me when i was staying with relatives also, but i remember seeing something white type as in a figure that was pushing into my side..again, i was paralysed waist down and unable to shout/talk. When i told people about this they thort i had lost it, so i tried to put it down to it all being in my head but it wasnt.

It happened so often..I didnt know what to think. the last time i had an episode like this, was when i sat and recited ayatul kursi for an hour in my bedroom...the following nite i get an episode. Im not gona lie, i stopped reading..from then on, for fear of this happening, which was probably wrong of me, but its like everytime i try and do something faith related i get an episode. I just want it to stop, cos i cant handle it. I do read 1st kalimah x3 and also ayatul kursi before i go bed... is there anything else i should be reading ? I know this isnt an excuse, but everytime i try something bad happens.

can i put this down to shaytaan ? (& me recently familirising myself with islam again ?)If so how come now ? why doesnt it happen to any1 else. As far as im aware, it doesnt happen 2 other non- practising people..none of this happens to them. so why me ? Wats worst, is when ive had an episode i then tend to dwell on it, and expect it to happen the following nite, just purely cos i cant get it out of my head. When it happens its truly auful, cos i cant do anything, as in im helpless and cant move.

My faith is weak atm, but its like everytime i try, something like this hinders me so i end up leaving things and dont bother.

This happening 2 me last nite, I actually made the step and did my first salah today..Ive been thinking on praying for weeks now, but i knew i had to be the one that pushes myself to do it not any1 else and 2day i did. how long it will last i really dont know. Ive slowly removed negativity from my life, and im going to put £100% + effort in2 salah from now on but the thing is i know im going to get recurrance of what happened last nyt. Is this happening cos im looking in2 islam again ? work of satan ? or something else?

[cat eyes]

''although i acknowledge that its a sin, to neglect salah, i dont think its right any1 calling some1 else a kuffar ? if a person acknowledges islam, belives in allah but refuses to pray out of laziness..there still muslim..cos tats me.''

nobody here is calling anybody a kafir. okay lets just say if all the scholars had this soft approach.. would anybody even worship our creator? we would not even remember him never mind worship him!

a person might acknowledge islam but where is he getting his imaan from? for a person to achieve imaan they must do acts of worship. each salah that a person misses his heart becomes black.

so id be very interested to know where the person is achieving there imaan from because they are only doing destruction to themselves.

again we are only advising you to marry somebody who will help you with your deen and one whom will increase your imaan.

the last words of our beloved prophet (saw) was to guard the prayer.

i hope inshallah i have not offended you or any other member in this thread. it would just be very sad to see you sister marrying somebody that might never practice at all when there is so many good religious brothers out there.

and i have also agreed that dawah would be good too before marrying somebody but theres no reason for you to take a risk marrying somebody and then giving dawah.. its better to do it before.

all the best inshallah. i hope u listen to my advice.

oh yeah and don't forget to do the istikhara prayer!

[dew of paradise]

Confused: My Marriages Failed Despite Istikhara
By Mufti Taqi Usmani
Posted: 23 Rajab 1422, 11 October 2001
Q.) I am extremly perplexed and grieved concerning my present situation and shaytan is also attacking me with various iman endangering thoughts. Please can you answer my following question and put my mind at rest. I married a woman about 3 years ago. I went to see her and everything was done the Islamic way. i.e. I did Mashwera (consultation) and Istikhara (and I saw good dreams and my heart felt content.) But despite the istikhara, etc. Our marriage broke up after just a few weeks of living together, as it transpired that she was mentally unstable. I married again this year, this time I was extra cautious and therefore did Istikhara over a long period and begged Allah to guide me, as a result of which I saw many good dreams. I also had the dreams interpreted by a scholar who gave me the go ahead. After that I did consultation with my superiors and they also gave me the go ahead. But, Again this marriage has broken down in a short span of time.
Why is it that both my marriages have failed (through no fault of mine, I tried my best both times) even though I did Istikhara and Mashwera both times and felt content at heart.
Please reply soon and put my mind at rest, I am losing hope and shaytan is playing with my mind and making me doubt the words of Allah and his Prophet. (naoozobillah) Please reply soon. Jazakallah. A distressed brother in need. [s.m.]
A.) Istikhara is a particular form of prayer and the masnoon way of doing is that a person offers 2 Rakats with the intention of Istikhara then recites the Dua for Istikhara which may be found in all the books of prayer. The other ways of Istikhara which are suggested by some persons are not masnoon. So far as the effect of Istikhara is concerned you must observe the following points:
First of all you must know that Istikhara is nothing more than a normal Dua in which a person prays to Allah Subhanahu Taala to guide him to reach a right decision. It is not correct to presume that in response to an Istikhara Allah gives an answer in the form of a dream. Similarly it is not necessary that a dream is seen after making an Istikhara and even though a dream is seen by the relevant person it is not an absolute answer towards a particular direction because dream is not treated in Shariah as a binding proof of something. The expected result of Istikhara is that the relevant person himself takes a decision which is good for him in this world or in the hereinafter or in both. But just as the grant of other prayers depends on certain conditions the Istikhara is subject to those conditions as well. If some of these conditions are lacking, it is not necessary that this prayer is granted
Second, to make an Istikhara does not mean that a person abandons all other necessary enquiries. A person must carry out all efforts necessary to reach a correct decision even after making Istikhara. If a person is content on Istikhara only and does not make the required efforts to reach the correct decision he may fall into error.
Third, in this particular case the reason for breakup of marriages is not certainly known. It is possible that the marriage failed not because the decision to marry that woman was wrong but because the husband could not properly handle the marriage. In other words it is possible that the decision to marry the woman was correct but the decision to divorce her was wrong.
Fourth, as mentioned in the first point in some rare cases Istikhara does not prove to be fruitful in this world but it is certain to be fruitful in the world hereinafter.

[qurantour.com]

Marry a pious person

[distressed]

''although i acknowledge that its a sin, to neglect salah, i dont think its right any1 calling some1 else a kuffar ? if a person acknowledges islam, belives in allah but refuses to pray out of laziness..there still muslim..cos tats me.''

nobody here is calling anybody a kafir. okay lets just say if all the scholars had this soft approach.. would anybody even worship our creator? we would not even remember him never mind worship him!

Sister I just knew that would come next, wen i mentioned i didnt pray. thats all i ment. when you dont know the significance of it or have strayed its a big change..Ive however made the first steps. Personally, if someone comes out pushing religion in my face, then i aint gona take notice, for me i had to read up, study and learn myself which is what im doing.

a person might acknowledge islam but where is he getting his imaan from? for a person to achieve imaan they must do acts of worship. each salah that a person misses his heart becomes black. so id be very interested to know where the person is achieving there imaan from because they are only doing destruction to themselves.again we are only advising you to marry somebody who will help you with your deen and one whom will increase your imaan.
the last words of our beloved prophet (saw) was to guard the prayer.

where do i get mine from ?? Honestly ? I suppose im a bit of a selfish muslim then, cos i only turn to god when i need him, in times of distress/bereavement. I do believe in our creator, i just didnt realise or fully understand all the other things that go with islam..hence why im learning now.

i hope inshallah i have not offended you or any other member in this thread. it would just be very sad to see you sister marrying somebody that might never practice at all when there is so many good religious brothers out there.

and i have also agreed that dawah would be good too before marrying somebody but theres no reason for you to take a risk marrying somebody and then giving dawah.. its better to do it before.
all the best inshallah. i hope u listen to my advice.

oh yeah and don't forget to do the istikhara prayer!

You havent offended me-advice is appreciated, but i know myself and i knew when i joined up this forum, that i wouldnt just pray cos sum1 told me to..i had to do it myself and i had done last nite.! until a few weeks ago i didnt know wat istikhara was, i did it first time ysday, although i dont know arabic, so i just read it off paper ? is this acceptable? Ive tried listening to it on youtube, and practising, but im finding it extremely difficult..but will perservere. I know i will have done it wrong, last nite, as in not pronounced things properly..im presuming im ok, to continue with this method, till i get fluent in it ?

D

[Seek]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I hope Allah will help you and guide you.

I have a proposal for you. Why don't you try and ask them if they are going to pray from time to time? I mean not abandon it completely. Like at least once a week? I know it is wrong. But what is wrong is abandoning it completely.

Try and ask the men you meet. I hope you find the perfect man... Personally, I want to marry a muslimah from UK ... It is a loss that I'm not from there and not in my early 30's.. or I would have proposed to you.

Please try and don't lose faith. Thinking the way you are thinking and putting your religion in front is what Allah loves.. He will reward you.. Be patient.. I know asking you to be patient is out of the question.. But try..

From the depth of my heart, I will make da'wa for you to find a good praying husband.

May Allah help you my dear sister.