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Aspects
06-08-2010, 03:53 PM
I am in need of serious help with my marriage and completing my divorce

I would like some advice on how to go about divorce in our current situation.

I have spoken to my wife and told her that I would like our marriage to come to an end several times. My reason being my unhappiness due to too much dishonesty in our relationship. She now threatens me telling me that I cannot divorce her unless she agrees to it. Which I do not understand. Both her and my family know about the situation. Both family's feel that we should not remain married. She has begun to delay our divorce for her own selfish reasons. The marriage has become very ugly one could say. She has become greedy and has taken everything we have gotten or bought during our marriage. These are things I do not care about and I would only like the marriage to end as my unhappiness is dragging me down.

What I would like to know is what steps I should be taking in completing the divorce and what I require to do so.

Shukran.
Reply

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Muslim Woman
06-08-2010, 04:43 PM
Salaam/Peace

format_quote Originally Posted by Aspects
I have read all these answers and the Question and I find myself in a similar situation but I am giving up on my wife.
if u are a Muslim , then pl. think again. Among all lawful things , Allah dislikes divorce .
Reply

Aspects
06-08-2010, 04:49 PM
I feel and I hope that Allah finds my reason just and right. I only seek to live a peaceful life.
Reply

Muslim Woman
06-08-2010, 05:01 PM
Salaam

format_quote Originally Posted by Aspects
I feel and I hope that Allah finds my reason just and right. I only seek to live a peaceful life.
may Allah grant what is good for u , Ameen.
Reply

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Aspects
06-08-2010, 05:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
Salaam



may Allah grant what is good for u , Ameen.

Hi5 to you Shukran
Reply

Aspects
06-08-2010, 05:28 PM
May I ask your opinion:

I have posted a thread like this but it has not come up...

I am in need of serious help with my marriage and completing my divorce

I would like some advice on how to go about divorce in our current situation.

I have spoken to my wife and told her that I would like our marriage to come to an end several times. My reason being my unhappiness due to too much dishonesty in our relationship. She now threatens me telling me that I cannot divorce her unless she agrees to it. Which I do not understand. Both her and my family know about the situation. Both family's feel that we should not remain married. She has begun to delay our divorce for her own selfish reasons. The marriage has become very ugly one could say. She has become greedy and has taken everything we have gotten or bought during our marriage. These are things I do not care about and I would only like the marriage to end as my unhappiness is dragging me down.

What I would like to know is what steps I should be taking in completing the divorce and what I require to do so.

Shukran.
Reply

Snowflake
06-08-2010, 06:24 PM
:sl:
Assalamu alaykum,

May Allah ease your affairs brother. Ameen.



Divorce is detestable when there is no need for it. But the ruling varies according to each situation.

Allah, is Merciful and Wise, and in such cases where staying married to your spouse is harmful, then

divorced becomes desirable as sustaining martial bonds causes more harm. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi

wa sallam, said:

"One should not harm others nor should one seek benefit for oneself by causing harm to others."



If a spouse is neither righteous or pious and they do not rectify their mistakes, then divorce even

becomes obligatory. In the case of adultry Ibn Taimiyyah rahimahullah said, "If the wife commits

adultery, then it is not for the husband to keep her. Otherwise he will be considered a cuckold." I'm

assuming that means beghairat. Similarly if the husband is not righteous then it is obligatory for the

wife to ask for divorce, or separate from him by khul.


Divorce is prohibited during the time a wife is in her menses and during the time between her menses if

sexual relations have already taken place. Your wife is mistaken in believing that you cannot divorce her. The prophet (saw) said:


"Divorce belongs only to the one who takes hold of the leg (i.e.) the husband." Allah, Exalted be He says in the Quran:



Giving three divorces at one is prohibited


"Divorce is twice...." (al-Baqarah 229)


"O prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them for the commencement of their waiting period..." (at-Talaq: 1)


"...Then after that either keep her in an acceptable manner or release her with good treatment..." (al Baqarah:229)


The above verses show that divorce is not to be given thrice at once, and that the right to divorce belongs to the man.




Divorce is only not valid when a man is forced to divorce his wife, in oppression, or persecution or in the case of insanity which is not due to taking intoxicants. The prophet (saw) said:

"There is no divorce or emancipation in case of duress." (related by Ahmad, Ibn Majah and Abu Dawud)


Islam acknowledges that divorce brings relief and is a good solution when the wife is harmed by staying in the married, either of the married couple are immoral, disobedient, and irreligious and incompatible.

Allah subhana wa ta 'ala says:

"But if they separate (by divorce), Allah will enrich (each of) them from His abundance. And ever is Allah Encompassing and Wise." (An-Nisa 130)



Brother if you need help to understand the exact process of talaq, inshaAllah I can copy it up for you.



wa alaykum assalam.



P.S. Everything I have posted was in my own words from Shaykh al Fawzaan's, 'A summary of islamic Jurisprudence.' Any mistakes are from me not the author.
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
06-09-2010, 12:33 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aspects
[...]

What I would like to know is what steps I should be taking in completing the divorce and what I require to do so.

Shukran.
go an speak to an imam.
Reply

Snowflake
06-09-2010, 05:02 PM
^make sure he knows the fiqh. Someone I know went to an imaam to divorce his wife and the imaam told him it counted a two divorces at once! It caused a lot of mess and the dispute still isn't settled.
Reply

Muslim Woman
06-10-2010, 05:46 PM
Salaam.

a related link.

A husband who wants to divorce his wife should use the words of divorce with full awareness after much thinking and consideration. Using the words of divorce in haste or anger is not right.

The proper procedure is to give divorce when a woman is not pregnant and is not going through her monthly menstrual cycle. Divorce can take place by saying one time "I have divorced you" (talluqtuki) or "You are divorced" (anti taliq). After this the women should spend the time of her `iddah.

During the period of `iddah the husband can cancel his divorce and can resume the matrimonial relationship, but if it does not happen then the divorce takes effect and at the end of the `iddah period their marriage ends. There is no need to repeat the words of divorce more than once. Even one divorce is sufficient to terminate the relationship.



Read more: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...#ixzz0qTPkmsBT
Reply

cat eyes
06-10-2010, 07:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aspects
I am in need of serious help with my marriage and completing my divorce

I would like some advice on how to go about divorce in our current situation.

I have spoken to my wife and told her that I would like our marriage to come to an end several times. My reason being my unhappiness due to too much dishonesty in our relationship. She now threatens me telling me that I cannot divorce her unless she agrees to it.
speak with a scholar he might be able to arrange counseling. divorce is very difficult for a woman to bear.


IT is not right that you come on a forum demanding you want divorce.. we are not scholars here that we can guide you on what steps to take especially only going by one side of the story so brother its better for you if both of you went to scholar and keep your marriage problems private for your wives sake.
Reply

Muslim Woman
06-11-2010, 04:36 AM
Salaam

format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah




In the case of adultry Ibn Taimiyyah rahimahullah said, "If the wife commits

adultery, then it is not for the husband to keep her. Otherwise he will be considered a cuckold." I'm assuming that means beghairat. Similarly if the husband is not righteous then it is obligatory for the wife to ask for divorce, or separate from him by khul.
.
In some cases , for the sake of children , wife/ husband continue the married life though they suspect / may have proof that spouse has secret affairs . In that case , s/he will be a sinner ?
Reply

Snowflake
06-11-2010, 11:11 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
Salaam



In some cases , for the sake of children , wife/ husband continue the married life though they suspect / may have proof that spouse has secret affairs . In that case , s/he will be a sinner ?
:sl: Shariah says that it is obligatory to divorce a spouse who is neither righteous or upright and they do not rectify their mistakes, hence is becomes a must to divorce them. How grave a sin is it to ignore an Islamic obligation? You'd have to ask a scholar sis. And Allah knows best.
Reply

cat eyes
06-11-2010, 06:44 PM
im very interested to get more solid evidence on that sister scents.

what marriage is perfect and what marriage does not have faults? we all make mistakes.

would it be kind of extreme to divorce your spouse just because there not as pious as you and not on the same level as iman?

also marriages have problems for certain reasons, it could be due to black magic or the evil eye.
Reply

dew of paradise
06-11-2010, 08:43 PM
I dnt knw why v people think v r perfect,and v thnk only solution is divorce.remember Allah can forgive any of his rights on judgmentday u didn fulfiled but Allah will never forgive the rights of human u didn fulfiled.shaitan create distance between husband n wife.the problem is v don't knw our own religion Islam.do u knw by Quran & Sunnah there r five (5)steps of divorce in Islam.the 1st is counselling then u have to go throughore 4 four steps to reach to final divorce level,ur wife is right man dnt hv right to open his mouth n say divorce words either!!!Allah should save our all Muslim husband n wives marriged.Amin
Reply

Salahudeen
06-12-2010, 12:32 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by dew of paradise
I dnt knw why v people think v r perfect,and v thnk only solution is divorce.remember Allah can forgive any of his rights on judgmentday u didn fulfiled but Allah will never forgive the rights of human u didn fulfiled.shaitan create distance between husband n wife.the problem is v don't knw our own religion Islam.do u knw by Quran & Sunnah there r five (5)steps of divorce in Islam.the 1st is counselling then u have to go throughore 4 four steps to reach to final divorce level,ur wife is right man dnt hv right to open his mouth n say divorce words either!!!Allah should save our all Muslim husband n wives marriged.Amin
I'm interested to see the evidence that says Allah will never forgive you for not fulfilling the rights of another human as you claim. And I'm also interested to see the evidence for the "5 steps to divorce" as there is a hadith where a woman came to the prophet pbuh and told him she couldn't stand her husband and she was worried she would commit kuffar by staying with him so he told her to divorce him through khula straight away. He didn't suggest a 5 step method.

Can you show me where this 5 step method comes from? I agree other options should be explored like councelling, but their not obligatory on a person are they? if the person is being harmed physically to the extent brusing is being left then they should leave straight away not wait around and get more beaten up.

And as for you're saying that Allah will never forgive you for taking the rights of another person then this is wrong as you're limitng the mercy of Allah, who are you to limit the mercy of Allah and say he will not forgive for taking the rights of another person? doesn't Allah forgive all sins except shirk? do not limit the mercy of Allah this is a big sin to say "allah does not forgive so and so" because you're limiting the mercy of Allah.

Allah forgives all sins except shirk. He even forgives shirk as long as a person does not die upon it. As for fulfilling the rights of another human then it works both ways you know,

a husband is responsible for fulfilling rights towards his wife also, such as taking good care of her, providing for her, treating her good. In Islam the husband has to provide for his wife, if he doesn't then he is not fullfilling her rights over him. and she has the option to divorce.

And if he doesn't pray and pratice the religion then she also has right for divorce. Also if he hits her and beats her this is taking away her rights also, a wife is not a punch bag.
Reply

dew of paradise
06-12-2010, 04:14 AM
In the Hadith it's clearly mentioned She would commit kufar nw ordinary husband n wife who fights r not gona commit kufar.If Allah wants Allah can forgv shirk even bcz Allah is Khaliq the creator,but Allah has created laws for us how to spend our lives in this world.in hadeeth it's mentioned "A person is a Muslim only if from his hands & tounge the other Muslim is safe"this hadeeth clearly mentions v r gone out of limits.in other hadeeth Prophet pbuh said "on the day of judgment rights will be given to those whom they are due & wrongs will be redressed".if any person who will steal r won't fulfill the rights of any other human Allah will send ths person to the bottom of Hell to get the other person rights r stuff,ths person will start his journy frm the top n he will be burning goin down wen he will reach to the bottom n get the person rights r stuff he will start going up again where the other person will be waiting on top.but wen ths person he or she will reach on top will slip again n will reach to the bottom of he'll,the angels will tell him r her to start again n go to the top n he will be burning again start going up!the 1st step of divorce 1of the spouse has to prove tht the other is not doing what is suppose to be done.the 2nd is counselling.3rd is to live under same roof wen u giv 1st divorce.wait until 3 months it's possible tht both of thm will reunite.4th is if she is pregnant wait untill child is born bcz there is still chance of reconciliation.the 5th Is before finalizing the divorce agree to take care of children but normally husband is responsible for thm.give ur wife gifts n finish off in good manners!
Reply

Salahudeen
06-12-2010, 04:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by dew of paradise
In the Hadith it's clearly mentioned She would commit kufar nw ordinary husband n wife who fights r not gona commit kufar.If Allah wants Allah can forgv shirk even bcz Allah is Khaliq the creator,but Allah has created laws for us how to spend our lives in this world.in hadeeth it's mentioned "A person is a Muslim only if from his hands & tounge the other Muslim is safe"this hadeeth clearly mentions v r gone out of limits.in other hadeeth Prophet pbuh said "on the day of judgment rights will be given to those whom they are due & wrongs will be redressed".if any person who will steal r won't fulfill the rights of any other human Allah will send ths person to the bottom of Hell to get the other person rights r stuff,ths person will start his journy frm the top n he will be burning goin down wen he will reach to the bottom n get the person rights r stuff he will start going up again where the other person will be waiting on top.but wen ths person he or she will reach on top will slip again n will reach to the bottom of he'll,the angels will tell him r her to start again n go to the top n he will be burning again start going up!the 1st step of divorce 1of the spouse has to prove tht the other is not doing what is suppose to be done.the 2nd is counselling.3rd is to live under same roof wen u giv 1st divorce.wait until 3 months it's possible tht both of thm will reunite.4th is if she is pregnant wait untill child is born bcz there is still chance of reconciliation.the 5th Is before finalizing the divorce agree to take care of children but normally husband is responsible for thm.give ur wife gifts n finish off in good manners!
Here is the hadith for you

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas (RA): The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un-Islamic manner (if I remain with him)." On that Allah's Apostle said (to her), "Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)?" She said, "Yes." Then the Prophet said to Thabit, "O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

He never had any defects in his character or religion she just could not stand him and was worried she would "behave in a unislamic manner". So the prophet gave her a divorce through khula. And you never presented any hadith for the rest of what you say.


"With regard to repentance from a sin that affects the rights of other people, the three conditions below are required, and to them is added a fourth: he must restore to people what is due to them and settle the matter, or else ask for forgiveness and find a way to relieve himself of this burden of sin".

He must give up the sin immediately

He must regret what he has done

He must resolve not to do it again.

It doesn't mean that a person will definitely go to hell for a sin that takes away the rights of another person, because if the person does good deeds towards the person who's rights he took away for example making dua for them and their forgivness then he can make up for his wrong doing towards him. If everyone went to hell for not fulfilling the rights of another individual as you claim then every 1 would be in hell cos we have all at some stage taken away the rights of a another individual, whether it be a son not giving the due respect to his mother or a husband not providing for his wife and taking her money and beating her. Everyone at some stage has taken the rights of another. And doing good deeds towards them such as making dua will make up for it. read the below link for the evidence.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/6308/forgivness

Also your claiming that a person will definitely go to hell for a sin that involves the rights of another person is also incorrect based upon the below

Question 4: If the sin involves a right of man then what form should repentance take?

Answer: The basis for the Answer is the tradition of the Prophet who said: "He who has a right of his brother on him, be it of the nature of money or honor, let him compensate for it before he is made to compensate for it on a Day when there will be neither Dinar nor Dirham to deal with. Instead, if he has a good deed in his account it will be taken away from him and given to the person he had wronged. And if he has no good deed in his account, sins of the other person will be taken from him and added to his account." (Bukhari). Accordingly, the repentant can escape the questioning only by either giving back the people wronged their due or seeking their forgiveness. If they forgive, he need not worry, but if they do not, then he must return their dues.

So you can see it doesn't mean a person will definitely go to hell from the above hadith :) if he does not restore the persons rights in this life then on the day of judgement they will take a good deed to make up for the it :) So please don't go around saying people are doomed to hell before researching cos it could give people the wrong idea about Islam.

Also you never provided any evidence from Qur'an or sunnah that councelling is obligatory, and you never prooved the 5 step method with hadith. Islam does not force a woman to stay with a man she does not want to be with that's why she has the right of asking for a khula if there exists a legitimate reason such as he does not pray, provide for her, clothe her, takes her money, beats her.
Reply

dew of paradise
06-12-2010, 09:53 PM
as it is mention in hadeeth tht she will leave islam boundaries nw if husband n wife fight over some little thng do b cannot brng it as v will cross the limits of islam n nw i need divorce,problems can b solved if both of thm r willing ididnt mention anywhere the word definately will be doomed to hell!!as if u read propely i said Allah will never forgv the rights of human is u hv to make up to thm.try to solve the matter if u dnt even try to solve matter what makes us thnk v will be forgiven?my all point to say is the human rights r very important n thy r nt meant to be neglected never said ths person will be thrwn straight in to hell clearly u need to improve ur ENGLISH!n neither m against divorce but wt v do is just open our mouths n say the divorce words..if a man dnt pray so there is a hadeeth "A wife who will help her husband with his deen will be 70000 more beautifl thn the jannah hoor"my all point about divorce is for little thngs we create such a big scene.if he makes her life dificult so she hv a riht wen did i said she dnt hv?but little patience can change.sum women want divorce bcz thy hv litl difrences r thy hv depression so there is a hadeeth "a women who will ask for divorce without any reason r hypocrate n thy wont smell the fragrance of jannah"jus like our faces r change our thinkings wil be change aswell it dsnt mean v shoud start singing tht i need divorce.before doin divorce v r meant to do MASHWARA mean ask guidance after Allah.counselling is bcz v always think v r right n wen u sit with imam r any wise muslim older experienced person u listen to him r her mite be u realise tht wt i wz doin r thnking was wrong n marrige can be saved.....
Reply

cat eyes
06-12-2010, 11:00 PM
there could be one million reasons as to why a husband or a wife asks for a divorce. Allah can not just throw the person in to hell.
Reply

Salahudeen
06-12-2010, 11:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by dew of paradise
as it is mention in hadeeth tht she will leave islam boundaries nw if husband n wife fight over some little thng do b cannot brng it as v will cross the limits of islam n nw i need divorce,problems can b solved if both of thm r willing ididnt mention anywhere the word definately will be doomed to hell!!as if u read propely i said Allah will never forgv the rights of human is u hv to make up to thm.try to solve the matter if u dnt even try to solve matter what makes us thnk v will be forgiven?my all point to say is the human rights r very important n thy r nt meant to be neglected never said ths person will be thrwn straight in to hell clearly u need to improve ur ENGLISH!n neither m against divorce but wt v do is just open our mouths n say the divorce words..if a man dnt pray so there is a hadeeth "A wife who will help her husband with his deen will be 70000 more beautifl thn the jannah hoor"my all point about divorce is for little thngs we create such a big scene.if he makes her life dificult so she hv a riht wen did i said she dnt hv?but little patience can change.sum women want divorce bcz thy hv litl difrences r thy hv depression so there is a hadeeth "a women who will ask for divorce without any reason r hypocrate n thy wont smell the fragrance of jannah"jus like our faces r change our thinkings wil be change aswell it dsnt mean v shoud start singing tht i need divorce.before doin divorce v r meant to do MASHWARA mean ask guidance after Allah.counselling is bcz v always think v r right n wen u sit with imam r any wise muslim older experienced person u listen to him r her mite be u realise tht wt i wz doin r thnking was wrong n marrige can be saved.....
Thank you for your opinion but I disagree, it depends on the circumstances and the people involved, divorce may be the best thing to do it may not, it depends on the circumstances. For example if a husband never prays or pratices Islam and doesn't fulfills her rights such as providing for her then the woman has the right to a divorce and there is nothing compelling her to stay with him. It's not her responsibility to make him pray and pratice Islam. The husband is the leader of the family, he is like the shepard and his family are his flock. It's not his wifes burden to make him pratice Islam. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (893) and Muslim (182).

And if he doesn't fulfill her rights over him then this is no little thing, these are BIG THINGS, for example if he takes her money and hits her this is a very BIG THING not little thing, the husband is NOT supposed to take his wifes money or hit her, he's meant to treat her nicely and clothe her as well as feed her. Any money she gets his her OWN and her husband has NO rights to it. On top of that if he doesn't pray or pratice Islam this is also BIG THING, many scholars say he is no longer a muslim if he doesn't pray and it's haraam for her to be married to him.

I know of one sister who's husband would shout at her whenever she asked him to pray and follow Islam so she divorced him. A wife can help in deen but if the husband is not even doing the basics to be a Muslim such as the 5 pillars then how is she meant to help some 1 who is not even a Muslim according to the scholars? what if the husband doesn't change no matter how much the wife tries to help him? It really depends on the people involved and their circumstances.



Can she withhold herself from her husband who does not pray?
Can a husband or wife withhold oneself from his or her partner if they do not pray? In other words, is it permissible to demand that your partner pray in order for you to give yourself to them?

Praise be to Allaah.

Indeed it is obligatory for the woman (in this situation) to withhold herself from that intimate relationship, and the opposite also applies [i.e., a man should withhold himself from his wife if she does not pray]. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives…” [al-Muntahanah 60:10]

It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to stay with a man who does not pray at all or does not pray most of the time; she has to leave him and not stay with him, because he is a kaafir who has gone beyond the pale of Islam. We ask Allaah to keep you safe and sound.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/5281/...0not%20praying

So you can see it is no little thing if the husband does not pray, the wife can refuse sex if he does not pray :) and the scholars advise a woman to leave this man.

here is another answer about a husband who does not pray :)



Ruling on staying with a husband who does not pray
My husband neglects his religion; he does not fast in Ramadaan and he does not pray, and moreover, he stops me from doing any good deed. He has also started to be so suspicious of me, that he has left his work to stay home so he can watch over me. What should I do?

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible to stay with a husband who is like this, because by neglecting the salaah (prayer) he is a kaafir, and it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir or stay with him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… if you ascertain that they [women] are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them…” [al-Mumtahinah 60:10]

The marriage between you and him is null and void, and there can be no nikaah (marriage) between you unless Allaah guides him and he repents to Allaah and comes back to Islam. In that case the marriage will remain valid. The husband’s conduct is not correct, and it seems to me that he is suffering from some kind of (mental) illness, namely paranoia and waswaas (insinuating whispers of the Shaytaan) from which some people suffer with regard to their worship and their dealings with others. Nothing will get rid of this sickness but remembering Allaah (dhikr), seeking refuge in Him and putting one’s trust in Him to get rid of it. What matters is that for your part, you have to leave him and not stay with him, because he is a kaafir and you are a believer. With regard to your husband, we advise him to come back to his religion and to seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan, and to try to recite some beneficial du’aa’s with which to rid his heart of this waswaas. We ask Allaah to help him. And Allaah knows best.

From the Fataawa of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, in al-Da’wah magazine, no. 1709, p. 34

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/6257/...0not%20praying
Reply

Snowflake
06-28-2010, 03:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
:sl:
Assalamu alaykum,

May Allah ease your affairs brother. Ameen.



Divorce is detestable when there is no need for it. But the ruling varies according to each situation.

Allah, is Merciful and Wise, and in such cases where staying married to your spouse is harmful, then

divorced becomes desirable as sustaining martial bonds causes more harm. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi

wa sallam, said:

"One should not harm others nor should one seek benefit for oneself by causing harm to others."



If a spouse is neither righteous or pious and they do not rectify their mistakes, then divorce even

becomes obligatory. In the case of adultry Ibn Taimiyyah rahimahullah said, "If the wife commits

adultery, then it is not for the husband to keep her. Otherwise he will be considered a cuckold." I'm

assuming that means beghairat. Similarly if the husband is not righteous then it is obligatory for the

wife to ask for divorce, or separate from him by khul.


Divorce is prohibited during the time a wife is in her menses and during the time between her menses if

sexual relations have already taken place. Your wife is mistaken in believing that you cannot divorce her. The prophet (saw) said:


"Divorce belongs only to the one who takes hold of the leg (i.e.) the husband." Allah, Exalted be He says in the Quran:



Giving three divorces at one is prohibited


"Divorce is twice...." (al-Baqarah 229)


"O prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them for the commencement of their waiting period..." (at-Talaq: 1)


"...Then after that either keep her in an acceptable manner or release her with good treatment..." (al Baqarah:229)


The above verses show that divorce is not to be given thrice at once, and that the right to divorce belongs to the man.




Divorce is only not valid when a man is forced to divorce his wife, in oppression, or persecution or in the case of insanity which is not due to taking intoxicants. The prophet (saw) said:

"There is no divorce or emancipation in case of duress." (related by Ahmad, Ibn Majah and Abu Dawud)


Islam acknowledges that divorce brings relief and is a good solution when the wife is harmed by staying in the married, either of the married couple are immoral, disobedient, and irreligious and incompatible.

Allah subhana wa ta 'ala says:

"But if they separate (by divorce), Allah will enrich (each of) them from His abundance. And ever is Allah Encompassing and Wise." (An-Nisa 130)



Brother if you need help to understand the exact process of talaq, inshaAllah I can copy it up for you.



wa alaykum assalam.



P.S. Everything I have posted was in my own words from Shaykh al Fawzaan's, 'A summary of islamic Jurisprudence.' Any mistakes are from me not the author.
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