Muslim Women Marrying a Non-Muslim Man

[Hanan_x3]

This is been something that ive been thinking about a lot lately.
I think its very unfair that a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim man, but a Muslim women can't marry a Muslim man. Why is that?

The reasons I heard was that the children would take their father's view rather than their mothers. But dont kids spend most of their time with the mother? Doesnt the mother teaches the kids everything? Isnt a mother a kid's first teacher?

I dont think ive heard of any other reason rather than all the sheikhs said so. I'm sorry, but ii dont blindly follow. Just bcuz someone said, doesnt mean ill follow it. I need reason.

Can anyone tell me why this is so? Thank you.

[Alpha Dude]

1. A muslim man can only marry a non-muslim woman that is 'of the book' (Jewish/Christian).

2. It is actually discouraged for a muslim man to marry a non-muslim woman if he is weak in iman (faith) in case she sways him away from Islam. It's mubah (permissible) for men but not recommended in the sense that there is reward for it at all.

3. Men and women are different and there is no such thing as absolute equality. It's a myth and you shouldn't be yearning toward it. Islam caters for the differences of men and women.

Men, out of their masculinity, would be better equipped when it comes to guiding a non-muslim wife into Islam (which would ultimately benefit her in the hearafter).

A woman would behave in an opposite manner, in that she's more likely to take on the faith of her non-muslim husband due to her emotional nature. Which would be detrimental to her. So this rule is actually safeguarding her.

[TrueStranger]

Sister, the only reason you need is that Allah did not allow us to marry Non-Muslim men. That alone should be a good reason. It's the command of Allah. "We Hear and We Obey"

As for Alpha Dude

"Men, out of their masculinity, would be better equipped when it comes to guiding a non-muslim wife into Islam (which would ultimately benefit her in the hearafter)."

Where did you get the idea that being masculine is supposedly better equipped at guiding someone to Islam? Allah is the one who guides not "the masculinity of men".

I hate those nonsense/offensive reasons some people come-up with. Allah did not make it halaal and that should be the only logical reason that is presented.

[Alpha Dude]

Where did you get the idea that being masculine is supposedly better equipped at guiding someone to Islam?

Men are better equipped at not being influenced by women.

Allah is the one who guides not "the masculinity of men".

It goes without being said that Allah is the true guider. I don't recall implying otherwise.

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[Maryan0]

I think the whole Idea is that you are what your father is in that you take your fathers name as a last name, if you come from a tribal society like mine you take your fathers tribe, In the west women take their husbands last name as their own etc. It may also be because men are considered the heads of their households...
Either way a muslim women takes precedence over a non muslim and why certain men marry non muslim women when there are muslim women around I will never understand.
Salam

[Asiyah3]

Men and women are different and there is no such thing as absolute equality. It's a myth and you shouldn't be yearning toward it. Islam caters for the differences of men and women.

A woman would behave in an opposite manner, in that she's more likely to take on the faith of her non-muslim husband due to her emotional nature. Which would be detrimental to her. So this rule is actually safeguarding her.

men are considered the heads of their households...

Sister, the only reason you need is that Allah did not allow us to marry Non-Muslim men. That alone should be a good reason. It's the command of Allah. "We Hear and We Obey"

^^^I agree with these.

[Candle]

I think its very unfair that a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim man

:ermm::ermm::ermm:

[marwen]

^ hahaha ;D yes that would be unfair !

[Insaanah]

Man by nature tends to be dominant and woman by nature tends to be compromising. This is a fact which cannot be denied. Some women might claim that they are more dominant in their marriage etc and hence it is not always true that men are dominant. Even if I do agree that there are some women who are more dominant as compared to their husbands, these still are rare cases. Like two in a thousand and thus a minority. Islam is a universal religion and thus needs to secure people at a global level and thus in certain issues its rulings are based on the majority rather than minority.

One might ask here how Islam is securing the woman by its rulings on this matter. Primarily Islam teaches us to believe in all the prophets(pbut) that were sent by Allah(swt) to Mankind. Thus a Muslim by default believes in Jesus(as) and Moses(as). On the other hand, the Christian does not believe in Prophet Muhammad :saws: and the Jew does not believe in Muhammad :saws: nor Jesus(as) as prophets of Allah(swt). This is a very important point because a Muslim man would by default respect the prophet which his non-Muslim wife believes in but a non-Muslim man would not believe or respect the prophet which his wife believes in.

After the couple has children, the non-Muslim wife would teach their child to love and respect the prophet she believes in. The Muslim man would certainly not object if his child is being taught to love Jesus(as) or Moses(as) because he already believes in her prophet and all prophets. So he would not and could not refuse that.

On the other hand the non-Muslim husband might object when his Muslim wife would teach their child about Islam, because he himself does not believe in Prophet Muhammad :saws: . And he could try to refuse her teaching them that.

It is also important to point out that the non-Muslim man could later on, either of himself or out of pressure from his family, compel the Muslim woman to accept the faith he follows. On the other hand, a Muslim man respects the People of the Book and is under strict instructions from Allah(swt) not to compel his wife to change her faith. Hence the rights of a non-Muslim wife are secure and protected in the house of a Muslim man whereas it is not necessarily the same in a vice versa situation.

There are other factors as well, but ultimately Allah has protected the Muslim woman and her future children. Muslim woman are clearly better off marrying a Muslim man as opposed to a non-Muslim man. Allah(swt) has Absolute Wisdom and thus He has set laws which are only better for us. We, being humans, have limited wisdom which is negligible in front of Allah(swt) and thus at times we might not be able to comprehend the true reason why certain things are forbidden in Islam. Allah(swt) does know that many would not recognize that which is bad for us and thus He says in the Quran:

But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. – [Quran 2:216]

[Raziah]

Actually,it is really sad when I see some women who get married to non-muslim men,althought they know that is prevented in Islam.

[Hanan_x3]

:ermm::ermm::ermm:

Lol Oops, uk wut ii meant :p

[Hanan_x3]

Actually,it is really sad when I see some women who get married to non-muslim men,althought they know that is prevented in Islam.

I dont see it as sad, ii see it as fair.

[Insaanah]

I dont see it as sad, ii see it as fair.

Did you read any of the posts above?

Do you think it is unfair of Allah to put in place measures that protect both you and your faith, and that of your children? Those measures sound like mercy from a Most Compassionate Lord to me.

Just bcuz someone said, doesnt mean ill follow it.

Even if Allah said it?

In the Qur'an, Allah says this on the matter: "They [Muslim women] are not lawful to them [the disbelievers] nor are they [the disbelievers] lawful for them." Surah al-Mumtahanah, ayah 10.

After reading the above posts, do you not think that Allah was Most Wise in His decision, knowing human nature better than we do?

Either way, supposing there's a law that says you can't park your car on double yellow lines on the road, but cyclists can. This measure might be in place to prevent congestion by on the road. You might see it as unfair that you can't park your car but cyclists can park their cycles. But just because you personally may see it as unfair, that doesn't make the law wrong. The law is there to protect everyone on the road regardless of what you personally think, even if, for arguments's sake, you either can't understand, can't accept or don't want to accept it.

Sister, please read more on Islam. Allah is not wrong and Islam is not at fault. It seems perhaps you need to develop a deeper understanding of the faith.

Please ask further questions, but in your questions ask what you'd like to know and don't taint Islam with, "xyz is unfair in Islam, why is this?", when it's not Islam that's at fault, but your limited understanding. It may be the case that you "inherited" Islam from your parents without having a proper understanding. That being the case, now is the time to start learning. Don't turn away from Allah just because you don't understand something. Start afresh, make a new connection with Allah, ask Him for guidance, start reading the Qur'an (which is Allah's word to you and all mankind) and Islamic books, and ask questions here. We are happy to accept that there are certain things which Allah, in His Divine Wisdom, knows best. We are all here for you.

[cat eyes]

This is been something that ive been thinking about a lot lately.
I think its very unfair that a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim man, but a Muslim women can't marry a Muslim man. Why is that?

The reasons I heard was that the children would take their father's view rather than their mothers. But dont kids spend most of their time with the mother? Doesnt the mother teaches the kids everything? Isnt a mother a kid's first teacher?

I dont think ive heard of any other reason rather than all the sheikhs said so. I'm sorry, but ii dont blindly follow. Just bcuz someone said, doesnt mean ill follow it. I need reason.

Can anyone tell me why this is so? Thank you.

Allah wants to protect women from kafir men sister its simple and who told you that a muslim man can marry non muslim woman so easily? i heard a story from a sister i know that an imam refused to do nikkah for muslim man and non muslim girl. not every scholar agrees to it

[revert2007]

This is been something that ive been thinking about a lot lately.
I think its very unfair that a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim man, but a Muslim women can't marry a Muslim man. Why is that?

The reasons I heard was that the children would take their father's view rather than their mothers. But dont kids spend most of their time with the mother? Doesnt the mother teaches the kids everything? Isnt a mother a kid's first teacher?

I dont think ive heard of any other reason rather than all the sheikhs said so. I'm sorry, but ii dont blindly follow. Just bcuz someone said, doesnt mean ill follow it. I need reason.

Can anyone tell me why this is so? Thank you.

The reason is simple.In Islam a woman must obey her husband and in Islam Muslims not suppose to be lead by a disbeliever.IN a family the husband is the leader and a non Muslim man is not suppsoe to lead a Muslim woman.And when a Muslim woman must obey her husband,it means a Muslim woman will have to obey her non Muslim husband.So this is not permissible as ones faith is in risk.

Even in friendship with disbelievers,if this friendship can destroy ones faith,then one not suppose to have friendship with disbelievers.

Who knows us better and who knows what is good and bad for us?Allaah The Exalted who created us know better than we do.It is not wise to Question what Allaah has forbidded.

Allaah The Exalted knows the best.

[revert2007]

Allah wants to protect women from kafir men sister its simple and who told you that a muslim man can marry non muslim woman so easily? i heard a story from a sister i know that an imam refused to do nikkah for muslim man and non muslim girl. not every scholar agrees to it

Assalamualikum

Yes..I can see in today's time it is a treand for Muslim men to marry Christian women as they missinterprate the Quran and they think it is permissible.

In Quran it is very cleary that both men and women are not allowed to marry polytheist and idolaters.Who are these Christian women?Aren't they all idolaters when they worship Jesus pbuh?Aren't they all idolaters when they believe in trinity?

I strongly believe that a Muslim man who can marry a woman from people of the book should believe in Allaah and accept the prophet sent to her race either Moses or Jesus pbu(them).
In Quran as well Allaah has said clearly that a soleh man is for a solehah woman and vice versa.How can a believer marry a non believer?

A good Muslim man should do dawah to a woman and advice her to convert for the sake of Allaah.If she doesn't then he should forget her and move on as eve she doens't convert at all,she is not going to be with him in Jannah.

Allaah always test us.Subahana Allah.

[YusufNoor]

:sl:

it's not about what is fair and what is not fair, it's about what is allowable. there are actually technical reasons that you should understand. in Islam, the man is the head of the family. IF a Muslim were to take a "chaste woman of the book" as a wife, and i know of at least 1 Mufti who would refuse to do the nikkaah, that man would not require that his wife violate her faith on a daily basis. it would not be against her faith to NOT cook pork for him or to NOT serve him alcohol. however, if a Muslim woman had a Christian husband, she might have to cook haram food for him and to serve him alcohol as these are allowed by HIS faith but NOT by hers.

that being said, Mufti Ismail Menk of Zimbabwe has ceased performing nikaahs of that nature. while it was allowed in early Islamic history to marry captives or slaves who were "women of the book", it was most probable that they would convert, and at least they were living among mostly Muslim societies with shariah in full efect. and while it may be TECHNICALLY allowed, it is haram to "date" them, so how would you end up getting married? it is a non sequitor.

:wa:

[kite runner]

IF a Muslim were to take a "chaste woman of the book" as a wife, and i know of at least 1 Mufti who would refuse to do the nikkaah, that man would not require that his wife violate her faith on a daily basis. it would not be against her faith to NOT cook pork for him or to NOT serve him alcohol. however, if a Muslim woman had a Christian husband, she might have to cook haram food for him and to serve him alcohol as these are allowed by HIS faith but NOT by hers

very very true!!