Please Brothers and Sisters. I need help regarding Repentance

[Flower1111]

Salam Wa Alaikum

Dear brothers n sisters. Im trying my best to follow Allahs path and commandments the best as i can. If i do sth wrong i get such a bad feeling with Allah, that he will be angry on me. I have repented several times frm sinful acts with my "Not-yet-Husband" but soon inshAllah. First question is, am i doing real zina if i dont hv the actual intercourse but doing sinful other acts which i dont want to describe of course.
Secondly i dont really know wat to do anymore according to repentance. I always think tht im hving in my back head to repent if it happens again, but i knw this repentance isnt accepted. So i repent and really say to Allah i wont do again, but happend again. I knw Allah is most forgiving, but is my repentance valid. I have such a bad feeling. Pls help me, as i dont to with my own khatir, I want to marry but my parents arent letting me as they find me to young. What am i to do. If i neednt the permission of my wali i wud hv married of course long time back. I dont hv gud relation to my father. He has turkish christian backround and converted to islam to marry my mother only, but isnt following anything in our deen and isnt a very good man to my mother too. Do i need the permission even of him to hv a halal valid nikah?I cant marry nor can i be with my boyfriend in halal way. Im so upset .Pls make dua for me. and kindly answer me and give me advice to my questions. Jazakum Allah Khair

[ebuhadha]

Wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullah

I ask Allah to guide and forgive you and all the Muslims around the globe.

You have indeed raised a dozen issues with your question and i will try to answer them, if Allah wills.

I would like to congratulate you for doing an effort to follow Allah's path and commandments because that is what all slaves of Allah should do; otherwise, they will be punished in both worlds.

When we do wrong we are required to feel bad about what we did and basically that is part of our repentance, i.e. feeling bad about what we previously did. And yeah, when we do cross the boarders Allah gets angry at us, may He protect us from that, amin!

One of the conditions of a true repentance is the fact that you feel sorry of what you did and you would decide not to go back to that sin anymore. This is the case that should be realized in your case. You should aether ask that your "not-yet-husband" marry you or quit doing things that are haram. Wallahi all the stuff you do can very well have a negative effect in your future with that person. You should repent once for all that you did with that person and ask for Allah to help you on your requests.

The Prophet (savs) said "Whosoever makes the Hereafter as a goal Allah will gather all of his preoccupations and the dunya will come to him forcefully; and whosoever makes the dunya his goal, Allah will separate his preoccupations and will put the poorness on his heart and nothing will come from the dunya more than it was destined for him." This hadith was classified as sahih by shaikh Albanee, rahimehullah.
If you make your concern the ahira (hereafter) your path to marriage will be made easy, inshAllah. Try to be a devoted slave of Allah and do a lot of eebada; read Quran a lot, pray, make a lot of du'a, try to be kind to your parents and your family, and all what good deeds cover. Do not neglect any of the good deeds.

Dear sister, know that we have not been brought to this world to make our desires flow; rather, our mission is to be slaves of Allah and fight our desires. When we know that we are slaves we should not behave as masters! It is hard to be separated from the person you love but for Allah's sake and then for your own good you should quit your relations with that person. This should be at least until you are allowed from your father to marry that person. Being with him in haram does not help you at ALL; in contrast, it damages you, your eeman and your future with that person.

It is from the signs of the Hour that people will die without any medical or other reasons, i mean fast deaths, as we are witnessing them these days. Who guaranties you and me that we will live another day and time will be given to us so that we repent.

Please don't be as those which Allah tells us about them. The cry: "Until, when death cometh unto one of them, he saith: My Lord! Send me back,That I may do right in that which I have left behind! But nay! It is but a word that he speaketh; and behind them is a barrier until the day when they are raised."

Take care of your eeman first; forget about the rest. Try to be close to your good sisters and ask for their advice and friendship. Don't think about that person until you can legally do something with him.

May Allah protect you from every bad thing in this world and the ahira, ameen.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
keep repenting even if you are doing wrong. as long as you realize you are doing wrong and are regretful for it, it is better then giving up altogether...dont give up on asking for forgiveness. you should fear Allah all the same and speak to your mahrams about marriage. you should speak to the imam if your wali if giving you grief and preventing you form marriage. you should NOT however act on your feelings outside the prescribed means, otherwise yaa ukthee, you run the risk of destroying yourself not to mention people who have nothing better to do will spread unnecessary gossip about you.

[Salahudeen]

You don't need permission of him to have a valid nikah according to the Hanafi madhab, however you can go to the shari'a courts and unless your wali gives a valid reason as to why he is preventing the marriage then the marriage can not be stopped, the judge will act as your wali instead. I assume your potential marriage partner is Muslim?