Marrying a Muslim girl whilst being a revert

[Daniyal]

Hello brothers and sisters

My name is darren ( daniyal ) I am a new Muslim revert recently took my shaadah around a month ago, I guess I should give the background to the story so it makes sense.

I met my current partner amna around six months ago it was raining and I hid under her brolly lol we hit it off and became good friends I'm from a religious background so always been interested in Islam and how it's portrayed etc etc so I started to ask questions and stuff I found myself consumed by a thirst to learn more abt our prophet muhammad and his life befor I knew it I was thinking like a Muslim I wished to revert and found a group in the Bradford area who helped my a great deal.

During this time I'd fallen in love with my partner who is a Muslim and asked her to marry me because I didn't want to be living in sin she said she would have to speak with her family which is when this gets messy I'm not sure if it is because I'm White or a new Muslim or a clash of cultures or ideals but I was told through her father to sling my hook that I'd never be able to marry his daughetr and that if I did it would bring shame upon the family.

I am a good Muslim as good as I can be I have never smoked took drugs or touched a drop of alcohol in my life I give to charity already and lead a good stable life with no vices yet in her fathers eyes I'm not good enough or a proper Muslim.

Obv this puts me in a very tricky spot I can't leave my partner because then I will be doing what they think I could do if I was to marry her but I don't want to have her cast aside by her family all I wish is to have a loving with that I can help learn new things and worship Allah together

What hope is there I'm twenty seven a White British male thank younfor taking the time to read this

[Scorpian]

Hey dude
Have you talked this over with her?I`d say it`s probs more to do with you only just being a muslim, i`d expect in a few more months,they`ll think otherwise.

P.S This is why i`m scared of marrying a muslim women,it`s not the women it`s the family,that worries me.

PBUH

[جوري]

:sl: and :welcome: aboard Darren

Masha'Allah and Allah Akbar..
I am not sure what the deal is with certain families about converts, I can tell you that there is a lady here whose son was in pursuit of a bengali girl, whose family refused and refused and then finally saw that they were meant for each other.. what I am trying to say is, everything that is worth anything will probably come with a few obstacles, the more rewarding the more difficult the obstacles and that goes for everything career, marriage, raising children and especially the road to paradise is paved with hardships not pleasures but attainment is the end result as Allah swt reminds us in the noble Quran:

2:110] And be steadfast in prayer and regular in charity: and whatever good ye send forth for your souls before you, ye shall find it with Allah: for Allah sees well all that ye do.

I'll be thinking of you and wish you the very best insha'Allah..

:w:

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam bro

My name is darren ( daniyal ) I am a new Muslim revert recently took my shaadah .... I'd never be able to marry his daughetr

Welcome to Islam :)

Some parents don't like to see their duaghter getting married with a man from other culture , came from other religion etc. Because they fear that he can go back to his previous religion or she might face problem adjusting with new cultures at in- laws family etc.

Offer Istekhara salat and if u see any positive sign , tell her parents . InshaAllah they will be convinced.

May Allah bless u with the right , pious partner , Ameen.

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[Daniyal]

Thank you the replys yes I have approched her family I was told it's a no go it does seem to be a culture thing that I can understand but it's said that to refuse a man who is pure has means to support his partner eyc eyc is wrong

[جوري]

You are right, it is wrong and that is something that they will beheld accountable for before God.. however, I wouldn't give up just yet, give it a few more tries and insha'Allah once they see that you are very serious and it isn't just a passing fancy type thing, they'll come around..

:w:

[Daniyal]

If only it was that easy there have now been threats to smash my face in from the father and same threats said to his own daughter I find this appaling and question how some people choose to live there lives even there religion

[aadil77]

hmm they sound they like a typical paki..stani family from bradford, very cultural and backwards

if they keep at it bro, then I think its best to leave it, cause islamically the sister will be unable to marry you without her fathers permission

[Asiyah3]

Can the girl take her father to talk with the local imam or via phone? He could explain to him the Islamic stance.

May Allah guide her family and grant you a pious wife.

[Asiyah3]

Double post. Please remove it mods.

[Daniyal]

Surely Allah can't condone the denial of the righ to marry a Muslim to another Muslim? Regarding the comment abt his express permission from her father that can't be the be all and end all am afraid that the backword thinking family she from means the father will never meet with a iman his response tonthat was I know more than any iman.

I think that I'll have to marry her and bope the family come round to the idea I know Allah would not judge me unkindly on looking after a sister who has tried every possible option leaving her is not a option

[aadil77]

Surely Allah can't condone the denial of the righ to marry a Muslim to another Muslim? Regarding the comment abt his express permission from her father that can't be the be all and end all am afraid that the backword thinking family she from means the father will never meet with a iman his response tonthat was I know more than any iman.

I think that I'll have to marry her and bope the family come round to the idea I know Allah would not judge me unkindly on looking after a sister who has tried every possible option leaving her is not a option

There is no valid marriage without the women having permission of a wali, it won't work

Ask your imam if she's allowed to appoint another wali

[Daniyal]

hmm they sound they like a typical paki..stani family from bradford, very cultural and backwards

if they keep at it bro, then I think its best to leave it, cause islamically the sister will be unable to marry you without her fathers permission

Salam- thats not true- a women has the right in Islam to chose her own husband- To make a marriage Islamically sound, both people should be of adult age and consenting- in the womens case she must marry a muslim man. A Muslim man shouldn't marry an idolatress.

[aadil77]

Salam- thats not true- a women has the right in Islam to chose her own husband- To make a marriage Islamically sound, both people should be of adult age and consenting- in the womens case she must marry a muslim man. A Muslim man shouldn't marry an idolatress.

yes she cannot be forced to marry someone, but to marry someone she needs the permission of a wali:

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709.

[Asiyah3]

Surely Allah can't condone the denial of the righ to marry a Muslim to another Muslim? Regarding the comment abt his express permission from her father that can't be the be all and end all am afraid that the backword thinking family she from means the father will never meet with a iman his response tonthat was I know more than any iman.

I think that I'll have to marry her and bope the family come round to the idea I know Allah would not judge me unkindly on looking after a sister who has tried every possible option leaving her is not a option

Will her family let you marry her?

[Daniyal]

But if her gaurdian dis owns her then she has no gaurdian surely obv I shall try to win the familys approval but they won't even meet me or entertain the idea of a marrige

[Zafran]

yes she cannot be forced to marry someone, but to marry someone she needs the permission of a wali:

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709.

Salaam

If she is pakistani then she probably follows the Hanifi madhab - the strongest opinion is that a sane adult women does not need a wali for marriage- and it is still valid.

http://ebrahimsaifuddin.wordpress.co...wali/#more-564

http://www.scribd.com/doc/13296013/E...-Guardian-Wali

However saying that you should try to persuade the family - otherwise there might be trouble in the future. Trust me that would be better for you.

peace

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

Surely Allah can't condone the denial of the righ to marry a Muslim to another Muslim?

in some cases non-Muslim men convert only to marry the Muslim girls. Later they go back to the previous faith , thus create problems for both wife , kids . So , parent of a Muslim girl sometimes don't like to see their girl is getting married with a new Muslim.

Brother , have patience and ask Allah to easy the matter for you.