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muslimsister1
08-23-2010, 03:00 PM
:sl:

Ramzan Mubarak to all, hope your all well by the grace of Almighty Allah SWT and enjoying Ramzan, im posting the above cuz @ da moment im off from work for ramzan, n i feel as tho i could be a full time housewife, but at the same time i have my reservations as to whetehr i would be able too stick @ it, i live with my inlaws and have no kids at the moment, Inshaallah i will in the near future. Im jst wondering if any sisters are houcewives and how is it for them, i truly beleve that it will be Allah SWT who will give barkat in my husbands earnings and feel that if i was to become a housewife Allah SWT will be pleased and bestow us with many blessings Inshaallah. Look forward to your replies.

:wa:
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S_87
08-23-2010, 03:18 PM
maybe you could study part time so you dont get bored or something.
i dont know how it would be living with inlaws and being with them all day but many people do do it and seem ok with it. it depends on the person i guess
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Rhubarb Tart
08-23-2010, 03:34 PM
:wa:

It depends on what you are like. Not what other sisters feel or think.

Do you get on well with your family in law? Are you able to spend all day with them?

Do like cooking, cleaning etc during the day? Is there other stuff to do in your local area?

Sister can come and tell you how they are getting on as housewives. But ultimately their circumstances are a lot different to yours. I think you need to discuss this with your hubby and find out what he expects from you.
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Cabdullahi
08-23-2010, 03:56 PM
Originally Posted by sweet106
:wa:

It depends on what you are like. Not what other sisters feel or think.

Do you get on well with your family in law? Are you able to spend all day with them?

Do like cooking, cleaning etc during the day? Is there other stuff to do in your local area?

Sister can come and tell you how they are getting on as housewives. But ultimately their circumstances are a lot different to yours. I think you need to discuss this with your hubby and find out what he expects from you.
Good post masha'Allah
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Abdul Wahid
08-23-2010, 04:24 PM
Originally Posted by sweet106
:wa:

It depends on what you are like. Not what other sisters feel or think.

Do you get on well with your family in law? Are you able to spend all day with them?

Do like cooking, cleaning etc during the day? Is there other stuff to do in your local area?

Sister can come and tell you how they are getting on as housewives. But ultimately their circumstances are a lot different to yours. I think you need to discuss this with your hubby and find out what he expects from you.
Best possible advice.

:sl:

Everyone is different so everyone will have different situations. Many of my relatives who have degrees haven't worked a single day in their lifes cos once they got married, they devoted their life to their families and are full time housewives. Nothing wrong with that. Their husband's work and earn money for the family. Others who are married part time and are housewives who get help from their in-laws.

Like the sister mentioned, speak to your husband.
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innocent
08-23-2010, 04:51 PM
Salamalaikum.
I have been a housewife on and off and I have been working now for a few years. When you are working the idea of staying at home is very attractive but when you are a housewife you would get bored after a while once the novelty wears off. I would go for part time instead.
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Muslim Woman
08-23-2010, 05:25 PM
Salaam Sis

I am a housewife . I worked for 5/6 years and find job very tough & tiring .

I am a freelance translator and work as a volunteer for 4 Islamic sites online. I am enjoying staying at home. I can't think of going back to job .

U can learn Arabic or any other language or do any volunteer service if don't need any full time job.
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IbnAbdulHakim
08-23-2010, 06:47 PM
^ you are exactly like my older sister.

mashAllah.
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piXie
08-23-2010, 08:30 PM
Earning is mans job. :ermm:
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Cabdullahi
08-23-2010, 08:33 PM
Originally Posted by piXie
Earning is mans job. :ermm:
Its been a long wait but someone says it finally

Alhamdulilah
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Rhubarb Tart
08-23-2010, 08:40 PM
In ideal Islamic world, women would have to work anyway. So technically no earning is not just a man job.:statisfie
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ابن آل مرة
08-23-2010, 08:41 PM
Originally Posted by piXie
Earning is mans job. :ermm:
I agree with ya 100%
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~Raindrop~
08-23-2010, 08:44 PM
Originally Posted by piXie
Earning is mans job. :ermm:
Agreed. If Allah SWT has made it easy for us gals, why try to prove/say otherwise?

Before anyone jumps down my throat, I'm not saying it's wrong for a woman to work, as long as her Deen is not compromised.
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Rhubarb Tart
08-23-2010, 08:48 PM
^if all women were to have your attitude then you would have to deal with male nurses, lawyers, teachers, doctors etc which some people would not want to. Nothing wrong with staying at home as there also nothing wrong with working. Like I said, if islamic world were to be perfect then we would need some women to work.
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IbnAbdulHakim
08-23-2010, 08:48 PM
hmm sweet106.



i just realised what you mean, in an ideal islamic world where segregation is everywhere, no one would object to women working :)
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Rhubarb Tart
08-23-2010, 08:58 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
hmm sweet106.



i just realised what you mean, in an ideal islamic world where segregation is everywhere, no one would object to women working :)
:sl:

Yes that is what I meant. Even in mixed world, I rather have muslimah as my midwife, nurse or doctor (she is most likely to know about dignity from islamic perspective) than a non muslim woman. Unfortunately we dont get to choose. But if there were more muslimah we wouldn't need to feel to choose. And the NHS as a service would probably improve and understand where muslims are coming from. I am seeing this happen, which is great!
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Raaina
08-23-2010, 09:08 PM
Having been unemployed for 18 months, I've come to the conclusion that I NEVER want to be a house wife. I would be unbelievably bored!!

But some people love that life, it all depends on you sis :)
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piXie
08-23-2010, 10:23 PM
Originally Posted by sweet106
:sl:

Yes that is what I meant. Even in mixed world, I rather have muslimah as my midwife, nurse or doctor (she is most likely to know about dignity from islamic perspective) than a non muslim woman. Unfortunately we dont get to choose. But if there were more muslimah we wouldn't need to feel to choose. And the NHS as a service would probably improve and understand where muslims are coming from. I am seeing this happen, which is great!
:w:

If a sister wants to be a doctor due to a requirement or need in the Muslim community for female doctors, and her family support her in that, I think this is praiseworthy and there is a lot of reward. This is a big sacrifice to make, and an honorable position. In this situation and an Ideal Muslim world, if the sister has children and wants to become a doctor or teacher, her relatives such as her mother or sister, and the Muslim community should take care of her children and give them full support - for they are the future, and their stability, tarbiya and upbringing is a priority and should not be compromised or put at risk. This should be TEAM WORK. The sister should not do this on her own or have to send her children to the non Muslim nurseries in order to achieve this. If this is the case, or her children will be deprived or neglected or their tarbiya effected, then I am personally against that sister becoming a doctor and I think she should wait until her children grow up or let the other sisters who are in a position or who don't have children do it. and Allaah knows best
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PouringRain
08-23-2010, 10:29 PM
Originally Posted by sweet106
:wa:

It depends on what you are like. Not what other sisters feel or think.

Do you get on well with your family in law? Are you able to spend all day with them?

Do like cooking, cleaning etc during the day? Is there other stuff to do in your local area?

Sister can come and tell you how they are getting on as housewives. But ultimately their circumstances are a lot different to yours. I think you need to discuss this with your hubby and find out what he expects from you.
This is great advice.


I have never understood how someone could be bored being a housewife. The times when I was, I always found plenty of things to occupy my time, and I was never bored. Of course, I also do quite a bit. With gardening, cleaning, kids, cooking, sewing, beading, crochet, home maintenance, etc. I just never had time for boredom-- and that was even before I had ever discovered the internet to occupy myself with. LOL I'd love to be a full time SAHM, but unfortunately life has not afforded me that privilege. :) If I had that time, I could get so much more things done!!!
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cat eyes
08-23-2010, 10:35 PM
:sl:

id like to work if i ever get married and have kids inshallah. i think its nice for a woman to have a little part time job.. its nice for her to have a social life outside of the home too.

:p
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Rhubarb Tart
08-23-2010, 10:36 PM
Originally Posted by piXie
:w:

If a sister wants to be a doctor due to a requirement or need in the Muslim community for female doctors, and her family support her in that, I think this is praiseworthy and there is a lot of reward. This is a big sacrifice to make, and an honorable position. In this situation and an Ideal Muslim world, if the sister has children and wants to become a doctor or teacher, her relatives such as her mother or sister, and the Muslim community should take care of her children and give them full support - for they are the future, and their stability, tarbiya and upbringing is a priority and should not be compromised or put at risk. This should be TEAM WORK. The sister should not do this on her own or have to send her children to the non Muslim nurseries in order to achieve this. If this is the case, or her children will be deprived or neglected or their tarbiya effected, then I am personally against that sister becoming a doctor and I think she should wait until her children grow up or let the other sisters who are in a position or who don't have children do it. and Allaah knows best
:wa:

I agree if a sister has children, the children obviously need close support. I never said I agree with day care by non muslims. In fact I am strongly against children being brought up by strangers. I dont have a problem with it if a sister was to that part time or had a family to support her. But I wouldnt discourage sister from working. It is not just doctors, shop keepers (would you want a man to measure you?), lawyers, teachers, a lot of jobs really. Not all married women have children like the OP.

I just dont get this attitude presented by muslims in general that women shouldnt work when they are first to request a woman to deal with their sisters and daughters. Like I said women are needed in society.

Allah (swt) knows best...
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muslimsister1
08-23-2010, 10:42 PM
:sl:

Jazakallah for all your replies, may Allah SWT reward you all for your time and effort, i have spoken with my hubby n he has sed it is up 2 me as lng as i am happy, i am working prt time as a admin assistant 9-1 but my job is so boring i sit on the net for at least most of the time i am there. ple say i hve it cushy and yeh i do but theres only so much internet u can take, u do need motivitation, im worried that im looking at becoming a housewife as a way to get out of the job im in. during the day its only me n my mother inlaw
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Alpha Dude
08-23-2010, 10:45 PM
Im jst wondering if any sisters are houcewives and how is it for them, i truly beleve that it will be Allah SWT who will give barkat in my husbands earnings and feel that if i was to become a housewife Allah SWT will be pleased and bestow us with many blessings Inshaallah. Look forward to your replies.
Asalamu alaykum sister,

You have noble intentions, mashaAllah. I would just like to advise that if you do become a housewife and contrary to what you hope for now, you end up with what seems like little material blessing, don't lose hope or assume you made the wrong decision. Life is not meant to be rosy and there will always be trials, even if you are fully Islamically orienting yourself (in whatever capacity).

In such a case, the blessings would display fruit in the akhirah at least inshaAllah.
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Rhubarb Tart
08-23-2010, 11:18 PM
Originally Posted by PouringRain
This is great advice.


I have never understood how someone could be bored being a housewife. The times when I was, I always found plenty of things to occupy my time, and I was never bored. Of course, I also do quite a bit. With gardening, cleaning, kids, cooking, sewing, beading, crochet, home maintenance, etc. I just never had time for boredom-- and that was even before I had ever discovered the internet to occupy myself with. LOL I'd love to be a full time SAHM, but unfortunately life has not afforded me that privilege. :) If I had that time, I could get so much more things done!!!
the cooking, cleaning and house maintenance takes me 2 hours max. When I was a housewife I never used to be bored because I found other things to do outside the community. I agree one can keep themselves occupied but the cooking and stuff doesnt take long for me personally.
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Rhubarb Tart
08-23-2010, 11:21 PM
Originally Posted by muslimsister1
:sl:

Jazakallah for all your replies, may Allah SWT reward you all for your time and effort, i have spoken with my hubby n he has sed it is up 2 me as lng as i am happy, i am working prt time as a admin assistant 9-1 but my job is so boring i sit on the net for at least most of the time i am there. ple say i hve it cushy and yeh i do but theres only so much internet u can take, u do need motivitation, im worried that im looking at becoming a housewife as a way to get out of the job im in. during the day its only me n my mother inlaw
If you want to be housewife but can find other stuff in your local area (asking your mosque? helping out the eldery? local hospital?) to do or you can just and try find a meaningful course or job? Either way find something that is meaningful to you and suited to your house.
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PouringRain
08-24-2010, 12:58 AM
Originally Posted by sweet106
the cooking, cleaning and house maintenance takes me 2 hours max. When I was a housewife I never used to be bored because I found other things to do outside the community. I agree one can keep themselves occupied but the cooking and stuff doesnt take long for me personally.
I have heard others also say that the cooking, cleaning, and house maintenance take very minimal time. (When I say house maintenance I am talking about basic carpentry, painting, basic plumbing, repairing things, caulking, etc. I've never had the luxury of hiring outside help for anything.) For me, even my cooking takes about 2 hours a day. ;D Prep time for a meal can take anywhere from 30-60 minutes, depending on what I am making. I have to make all my foods from scratch, including baking my breads.

Most of the time when I stayed home I was also in school. There was also a period of time when I homeschooled the children. I've never been home without at least one child home with me though.
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Muslim Woman
01-10-2012, 02:39 AM
:sl:


I am a full time housewife and I enjoy it :) I know many women don't like to hear it but it's true :statisfie

I worked in an office for 6 years and I hated it :heated: So many contacts with men and sometimes I needed to go out for field trilps - I did not like it .


Now I spend my time on translating Islamic books . As I don't work , when any female relative needs to go to doctor and needs company when admitted to hospital , they think of me lol :p


So sis , it's up to u . If u stay home , many people wont' appreiciate it and wil say that it's a wastage of time . It's ur life ; so within the bounday of Islam , u have to decide how to spend it .
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ardianto
01-10-2012, 01:48 PM
:sl:

Not every wife that does not work is a housewife. The housewife is a wife who works daily care of the house and everything in it, taking care of her husband and her children.

In fact, there are wives who do not work but spends their time just to have fun, hang out with other women for gossiping. While the home affairs entirely left to the maid, and child care is left entirely to the baby siter.

Such wives can not be called a housewife.
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Reflections
01-10-2012, 04:38 PM
MashaAllah some interesting points brought forward here.
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Muslim Woman
01-12-2012, 02:47 PM
:wa:


Originally Posted by ardianto
:sl:

Not every wife that does not work is a housewife. The housewife is a wife who works daily care of the house

I read a fatwa that if husband can afford , it' ok to have maids.

there are wives who do not work but spends their time just to have fun, hang out with other women for gossiping. While the home affairs entirely left to the maid,

hmmm reminds me of the marriage joke -;D

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
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syilla
01-12-2012, 02:53 PM
^^^remind me of my friend. she asked her husband : lets go to london? husband answered: London? you mean london weight management? and my friend was speechless lol and complaint in her fb lol
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ardianto
01-12-2012, 03:14 PM
Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
I read a fatwa that if husband can afford , it' ok to have maids.
I know. My mommy always had a maid to help her.

But there is a difference between hiring maid, with hand over all the housekeeping to the maid without going to care what happens at home.

As an example. may hire a maid to cook, but the wife still have to determine what food should be cooked for the family because this is her responsibility as a housewife. Do not let the maid determines what will be cooked while the wife does not care at all.

what I mean by a wife who is not a housewife is a wife who employ maid only because she does not want to be responsible with household affairs and wants to spend time just for fun without regard to her husband and children.

Wives like this are really exist.
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syilla
01-12-2012, 03:58 PM
i never had maids...or maid do i considered as a housewife. i tried to do everything but with the help from my mom (but she is busy with islamic studies) and from my very helpful hubby.

of course there are times when we can't cope with all the housework but we manage and we never even feel like or need to have one.

reading the comments in this thread... i felt that i 'can' be considered as a housewife lol
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UmmuShaheed
01-27-2012, 02:13 AM
Im in the middle.
I do believe earning is a mans job
but its nice for us sisters to contribute the ummah.
If things get bad, then you should have something that you can fall back on.
And like many people have said before, it does depend on the persons personality.
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Txyib
01-27-2012, 02:24 AM
salam
being a housewife can be adorably fun if you get on with your in-laws and if you really connect and laugh about and do the work at the same time whilst working . this way they will think pleasant of you and you are helping clean their house and do work gaining thawab good deeds
however if you dont get on with inlaws it can be a real challenge for you thou you still get the rewards and you can just think of doing the work for the good
wasalam
محمد طيب
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esperanza
01-27-2012, 08:01 AM
being a housewife can also be extremely lonely at times
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ardianto
01-27-2012, 08:28 AM
Originally Posted by esperanza
being a housewife can also be extremely lonely at times
When we lived in our old home, my wife often complain like this. But not again since 7 years ago after we moved to the house where we are living now. I work at home, I mean my office is in my house. So, we always together everyday.
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Paprika
01-27-2012, 01:12 PM
Why are you looking for the housewives sisters????

kya zamaana agaya, speak to the waali's man....
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Riana17
01-28-2012, 04:58 PM
Asalam Alaikkum

I agree with almost everyone, really depends on personality and circumstances
I do not consider myself housewife yet, but inshallah one day soon I will be one

I was working since young age and once the focus of my life was my career.
Alhamdollellah I am blessed with a husband who never force me to do all household chores or stop me from working

I am working 8hrs/6x a week & my husband is 8hrs/5x a week, now I am very slowly doing a housewife job
It becomes a routine to cook every Thursday now, thanks to Brother Ardianto, very effective advise mashallah
Subhannallah my husband would finish his meal to pieces whether my cook is salty, sweet&sour, over or under cook :D

aside from work, we have small business and my husband and I spent like 3x a week on it, alhamdollellah
I work not because my husband cannot provide, its because my husband is okay with it and he gives me freedom, I love it when I am able to contribute & have my own, because of the Mercy of Allah & my job, I was once the instrument of Allah to send my nephew in open heart surgery, Alhamdollellah. Really nice to have your own work, inshallah I can work for longer period.Ameen ya Rabb

Im not trying to show off or something but one of the beauty of Islam, is zakat or saddaqah & alhamdollellah I can do it from my own sweat, simple deed overflows my heart like last time me & our Teaboy (Muslim) shared & get one cow to Indian family, I didnt knew he arranged a pregnant one, Mashallah after 2months he had a baby!!!! Hehehehe really love the feeling

I can imagine if I am not employed, dont know really :(
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ardianto
01-29-2012, 07:15 AM
Originally Posted by Riana17
I am working 8hrs/6x a week & my husband is 8hrs/5x a week, now I am very slowly doing a housewife job
It becomes a routine to cook every Thursday now, thanks to Brother Ardianto, very effective advise mashallah
Subhannallah my husband would finish his meal to pieces whether my cook is salty, sweet&sour, over or under cook
You're welcome. :)

You start enjoy the fun of cooking, aren't you?. Don't forget to always cook with love.
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Riana17
01-29-2012, 07:23 AM
Asalam brother

Thank you for taking time and enlighten our marriage life
Subhanallah you give advise based on your experience thats why they are effective

Yes I read one of your post, I am also cooking with him and he likes it
even when we make mess with already messy kitchen

Last time it was fun, we got tired of food from restaurant so we got indonesian/filipino packed noodles and boiled an egg, yum nice dinner
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