Really Need Help

[Edeleon]

Hi my name is Eddie, I have been looking into Islam for sometime now. I was raised as a Catholic and my family being hispanic are very conservative Catholics. I grew up as a partier and lived a crazy lifesyle. After looking into Islam I realized what I was doing wasn't right, the drinking and drugs. I wanted a change in my life but I couldn't do it living under the roof of my parents. I really don't have a problem with my mom but it's my dad who is a major issue.
Ultimately my main problem is if I choose to convert or revert, my family will be upset. My dad and my extreme catholic grandma won't be happy and I don't know what is going to happen. I love them with all my heart of course, but I want Islam without loosing them. I need help. I would love to hear opinions or someone who had the same problem, whatever.
Thanks, Eddie.

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/Peace to you Edeleon

If u think , family members will be very upset and can make troubles for u , then do not disclose right now . U may watch video or read some books like Jesus & Mother Mary pbut in Islam and share these with them .

I am sure when they will learn that Muslims respect both Jesus & Mother Mary pbut ,they will be surprised and may feel curious to know more about the religion.

Ask Allah to help you .

[peaceandlove]

Brother , its just your fear OR you are certain of it.

If its reeally cause problem then donot disclose you islam to them at once , first try to tell them thing about Islam , might be indirectly , like tell the you have a muslim fried and you are surprized to know that they also belive in All the Prophets etc, then give them some literate by telling them that you bougth it from your friend to know what they belive , you your self can thing better ?

Secdonly , just want to ask you one question , i alwasy heard that (i might be worng so sorry for that) in west people have to much right , they can do what ever they want and no body can do any thing to taht , so why people are said that they will be harmed by their family when the accept Islam ? i heard that no parent can even hit their childs

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Peace,

As difficult as it seems, once the truth is revealed, and you have accepted it then... going back to the way things were becomes almost impossible.

Is it possible to return to a promiscuous life knowing about the One who created you and your purpose in life?
Is it possible to behave in a way which leads to hell knowing in your heart that it leads in that direction?


I sincerely hope matters become easier for you, perhaps moving out and taking it slowly on your own is a possible solution?

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[Edeleon]

You're right people in the west, most of the time, have alot more right. But choosing to go to Islam will seperate me from my family. People tell me "don't say anything now" but either way when I do, things will not be positive. What am I suppose to say to my dad when he asks if I am? I tell him now, it's done. Is it bad if I keep it from him? Hamza81, please send me a contach information, I can't respond to your message. I would love to speak with you.

[Vigno]

Peace Eddie

It is nice to hear how you feel about Islam now, I am always glad when someone sees the light. About your family, I can understand how you feel about it, believe it or not I feel a bit rejected at home too coz am trying to do all right and my family thinks am becoming an extremist. However, that should be no reason to not follow what is right.
Of course its good to love your family but this love should not exceed your love to Allah, its more important to gain his love than anyone else. I am not saying just ignore your parents but Allah says to obey parents in all except disobedience to Him. So first try to hide your Islam, if all gaps are filled and you are stuck, then you have no choice but be sure Allah will be with you and I will pray to Allah to help you inshallah.

[peaceandlove]

You're right people in the west, most of the time, have alot more right. But choosing to go to Islam will seperate me from my family. People tell me "don't say anything now" but either way when I do, things will not be positive. What am I suppose to say to my dad when he asks if I am? I tell him now, it's done. Is it bad if I keep it from him? Hamza81, please send me a contach information, I can't respond to your message. I would love to speak with you.

OK ,IF you think that you must have to tell you parents at now then as you know your situation well so you can take the best solution seems good to you.

Just a suggetion , just try to give this information to your mother first (as its seem from your message that your father might get angry with you , but as a mother she will try to udnerstand you) with light and polite manner , even if they angry on you , donot get angry its bad in Islam and never shout or talk loudly with your parents , talk to them politecy and try to give them reason why you want to convert? try to teach tehm with the message of islam etc,

And one thing this will inshahllah help you a lot , first of all pray to Allah to help you and secondly trust on Allah , donot get afraid leave all the things on Allah , Allah will inshahallah create ease for you, just turst on Allah and be relaxed , if any wrogn thought come in you mind just say you left this on Allah and inshahallahy Allah will solve your problems in such a way that you never think it off.

[Insaanah]

Greetings, Eddie, and welcome to the forum.

All praise be to Allah that your heart is warming to Islam. Only you can judge whether you need to hide your reversion from your family, but don't let the fear of their reaction stop you from embracing Islam once you've recognised it as the truth.

Perhaps your relatives won't be happy because they don't know what Islam actually is. Some people have negative views about Islam without really knowing what it's all about. Also people can be very set in their ways. You need to reassure them that you haven't gone off the wall. Here are some points that might be worth mentioning to them:

Islam is the only non-Christian religion which makes it an article of faith to believe in the central figure of Christianity, i.e. Jesus Christ (peace be upon him). If a person calls himself a Muslim and doesn't believe in, respect, or love Jesus (peace be upon him) then he is NOT a Muslim. No other non-Christian faith has this stipulation.

We believe that Jesus (peace be upon him) was one of the mightiest messengers of God, and that his mother Mary (peace be upon her) was one of the most pious and noble ladies to ever walk the face of this earth.
We believe that he was the messiah, translated as christ.
We believe he was born miraculously without any male intervention, which many modern day Christians today do not believe.
We believe that he gave life to the dead with Gods permission.
We believe he healed those born blind and lepers with Gods permission

However we do not believe that Jesus (peace be upon him) ever claimed divinity, or that he was God, son of God, or that he said "Worship me". Nor do we believe that he himself ate, or allowed the eating of pork. We also do not believe that he was crucified, nor died for anyones' sins. In Islam, each person is accountable for their sins, and each baby is born sinless. God is Just, and it is not in the nature of a Just and Fair God to make one person die for the sins of all humanity. It also denigrates the power of God that he could not forgive mankind without making a sacrifice.

We believe in One God, who has no associates whatsoever in His Divinity, and we believe in all the prophets that He sent to mankind, whether we have heard of them or not. That includes the final Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). We are not allowed to pick and choose those we believe in. They didn't preach different faiths, but said to people "Worship Allah, my Lord and your Lord, and associate none in His Divinity." We do not reject any of the prophets (peace be upon them), neither do we exaggerate the status of any of them to something it wasn't (i.e. divine).

We also believe in the existence of all the books of God i.e. Bible, Torah, Psalms of David (peace be upon him), and any other books that we have not been told about, revealed before our time. We also believe in the angels, and Day of Judgement.

All the Messengers of God preached the same message, which was to worship ONE God. The message didn't suddenly change when it came to Jesus (peace be upon him) with a three in one god. Jesus (peace be upon him) preached the same message that Moses (peace be upon him) had preached earlier:

'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one." Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), Jesus's brother in Prophethood, and the last of the Prophets, came preaching exactly the same thing. Thus by becoming a Muslim you are following Jesus's original message, i.e. what he actually preached. As a Muslim, you love, respect and honour him more than you did when you were Christian.

God is One, with no sons or daughters or relatives of any kind. He is not similar to humans in any way, and He is Eternal and never dies. He is the only One that can answer prayer, no human being who has died, has any power to help us, we pray to God only. The Qur'an is 100% God's word, unlike the Bible.

I found the following excellent link which gives commands that are common between the Qur'an and the Bible (such as abstaining from pork, alcohol, women covering themselves, prayers and washing before prayer, Jesus peace be upon him not being divine etc etc), which Muslims follow and Christians don't, and it gives you all the Biblical (and Qur'anic) references to back it up.

http://www.irf.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=128&I temid=146"]http://www.irf.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=128&I temid=146"]http://www.irf.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=128&I temid=146

Various issues are discussed and then the conclusion is reached that, actually, Muslims are more Christian than the Christians themselves! All because they are following the unadulterated teachings of Christ (peace be upon him). But it's explained in a nice, non-condescending and non-patronising way.

This may be useful when it comes to telling your family.

Peace.

[Noble Dream]

Hi Eddie ,
First of all u must thank God for guiding u to the right path.
and most important of all dont hesitate for a second to embrace and practice islam because if u do u will regret it later. As for ur family i tell u God's love should be above all kinds of love and this doesnt mean that u treat them bad or neglect them , on the contrary u should be so kind and merciful with them but do not oby them if they ask u to disoby god.
(( Tell them about Islam and try to help them and above all pray allah to guide u and them to the right path))
My best wishes for u and for ur family.

[malek]

Alsalamu alaikum Eddie
First of all,may Allah bless you and assist you in your journey of faith.
One option you can consider is to do salat al estikhara which means the prayer of asking .In Islam,if you want to do something and you are not sure of its consequenses,you pray to Allah this kind of prayer which consists of 2 reqaa,and after you finish the prayer,you raise your hands and ask Him Allmighty,to show you whether what you intend to do is good or bad.You have to intend something in particular and then ask Him (azw) about it specifically.

[serena77]

Eddie - peace to you
i know this is a hard step for you w/ your family because i'm having simillar issues.. If i didnt live in the area of the states that i did ... and if i my parents were a bit more open .... I don't think there would be any question in me reverting... sadly in the rural area i'm in, there's no one for me to talk to in person. if you live in a larger area w/ a mosque then maybe you might want to go and talk w/ them, see if they know oif anyone with a simillar issue and how they handled it.... i'm currently Catholic though my parents are atheist.. and so i understand how hard it can be.. a lot of the people in my parish .. havev serious issues w/ islam... it hurts me very deeply to hear them be so closed minded and brings fear if they were to find out i'm looking at reverting.
I wish you peace in your journey and for God (swt) to be w/ you every step of the way. remember to listen, He (Swt) will often give you the answer you need if your just open to the message.

Salaam
Serena

[May Ayob]

I personnally think that you should , revert in secret and after becoming a muslim , i think that they will notice a change in your behavior and character, as to your granmother and father, i think that you should pray to Allah to make things go well but You DONT have to deliberately tell them that hey i'm a muslim , but when you feel its the right time then tell them , im sorry i cant help more i dont have any expierience so i hope that was helpfull



Salaam