I Want to Understand Islam, but My Mother Fears...

[caadam]

Assalamu alaikum.

I've recently begun my understanding of Islam and a few days ago I told my mother this. I only told her that I was reading about the religion. Her reaction was startling: She gasped loudly and covered her mouth with her shirt. Her eyes got wide and she looked like she was watching someone falling off a building. :exhausted

For me, this reaction was upsetting. I didn't say I was reverting, only that I wanted to read about Islam. Not only that, but I was upset that the word itself struck fear into her. We began to discuss my feelings about Muslims, and I found hers to be more about common assumptions and stigmas. She said that every time she saw a Muslim woman wearing niqab, she would automatically become nervous that this woman might have a bomb. I tried to explain to her the meaning of a niqab, but she didn't care enough to know.

I found myself defending Muslims during this whole conversation, because all my mother could think about was Islam = terrorists. -sigh- It was frustrating. I can only imagine what she will think if in the future I might feel drawn to revert.

Is there any way I can go about understanding Islam and not be held back by my family's fear? My mother and father being my only family, their thoughts and feelings mean a lot to me as their daughter. My mother is very liberal about her Christian beliefs, my father is more firm in his.

[YusufNoor]

:sl:

i'm not sure that i understand the question. can you learn more about Islam, absolutely. can your folks be convinced about the truth versus whacked out terrorists and western imperialism? that ones tough!

do you live in western Washington? if yes, there is 1 resource that might be able to help - Khalid Yasin. he opened up a community center on MLK and Juneau [across from the Filipino Community Center]. you could arrange a meeting with your folks if you wanted, i would be happy to assist you in this, In Sha'a Allah.

of course if you meant that you wanted to be able to learn more so that you could talk to your folks, the community center is available for that as well.

and don't forget, not all the terrorism that has been blamed on Muslims was done as portrayed by the media! i have an extensive collection of dvds if you would like to expand your knowledge in this area.

i also have many dvds, mp3 discs and cds available on Islam if you are interested. all are available for free. i don't copy any Khalid Yasin material for copyright reasons, but he himself is pretty generous with his media, as well as with his time. and Islam vrs Terrorism is one of his specialties.

let me know what we can do to assist you!

:wa:

[peaceandlove]

Assalamu alaikum.

I've recently begun my understanding of Islam and a few days ago I told my mother this. I only told her that I was reading about the religion. Her reaction was startling: She gasped loudly and covered her mouth with her shirt. Her eyes got wide and she looked like she was watching someone falling off a building. :exhausted

For me, this reaction was upsetting. I didn't say I was reverting, only that I wanted to read about Islam. Not only that, but I was upset that the word itself struck fear into her. We began to discuss my feelings about Muslims, and I found hers to be more about common assumptions and stigmas. She said that every time she saw a Muslim woman wearing niqab, she would automatically become nervous that this woman might have a bomb. I tried to explain to her the meaning of a niqab, but she didn't care enough to know.

I found myself defending Muslims during this whole conversation, because all my mother could think about was Islam = terrorists. -sigh- It was frustrating. I can only imagine what she will think if in the future I might feel drawn to revert.

Is there any way I can go about understanding Islam and not be held back by my family's fear? My mother and father being my only family, their thoughts and feelings mean a lot to me as their daughter. My mother is very liberal about her Christian beliefs, my father is more firm in his.

:sl:

Its seems that you mother is greatly influence by the media propoganda , so the first thing i suggest you is to try to remove that conceptions. I think you already know that and give them figures how many terrorist attack were assciated to muslim but not prove (even 9/11 was not proved to be done by muslim, its only media saying that) , give them figures if you are christian just count the number of innocnet muslims children , women , old person killed by christians (american forces) in afghanistan,iraq, heroshima bombing , they are in lacs , so will you assiciate it with some christina act or whole chritianinty? if you donot associate these killing with chritanity so why you are associating it some bad act to Islam

Secondly, try to explain them what Islam says , specailly about Prophet Eisa alisalm ,

Finally, it good that you love you family and they mean to you but tell me if they are doing something wrong or they belive something wrong its your duty to tell and guide them their understanding is wrong not that you are byself saying that i also belive teh wrong as my family believe teh wrong.

I would also suggest you to buy or downlaod some speeches of Dr zakir naik about christianity and Islam , and try to show them to your parents and ask question what is right and what is wrong. they had given very good speech.

Pray to Allah to over you difficulties, and donot get disharted by that , try to show your parents what actually you belive , might be they did not like the word islam due to media propoganda , but tell them what actuallty Islam say , and ask them what wrong it that? in this way you might give good understanding of Islam to your parents.

May Allah give hidayat to all of us.

[serena77]

peaceandlove
while my mother was not quite as umm right word... not quite as vocal... i suspect that as much as she doesn't like main stream media etc... i want to revert ( this phrase is getting easier and easier to say out typed ) ...i have heard others here say that even ifyou become muslim, your parents don't have to know right away.

As i am not islamic yet and cannot perform Dua'a for you i will still keep you in my thoughts.
Serena

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[caadam]

:sl:

i'm not sure that i understand the question. can you learn more about Islam, absolutely. can your folks be convinced about the truth versus whacked out terrorists and western imperialism? that ones tough!

do you live in western Washington? if yes, there is 1 resource that might be able to help - Khalid Yasin. he opened up a community center on MLK and Juneau [across from the Filipino Community Center]. you could arrange a meeting with your folks if you wanted, i would be happy to assist you in this, In Sha'a Allah.

of course if you meant that you wanted to be able to learn more so that you could talk to your folks, the community center is available for that as well.

and don't forget, not all the terrorism that has been blamed on Muslims was done as portrayed by the media! i have an extensive collection of dvds if you would like to expand your knowledge in this area.

i also have many dvds, mp3 discs and cds available on Islam if you are interested. all are available for free. i don't copy any Khalid Yasin material for copyright reasons, but he himself is pretty generous with his media, as well as with his time. and Islam vrs Terrorism is one of his specialties.

let me know what we can do to assist you!

:wa:

Sorry if I wasn't very clear with my question. I guess I was asking what I could do to learn about Islam without feeling like I have live under a rock because of my family. lol But then again, I don't want to have to feel like that while defending Muslims to my family; every Muslim that I have personally met have been very kind and sensible. If I am to learn about Islam, I want to be open to the possibility that it could be the truth. I'm a seeker of the truth, after all, and I want my family to understand that reality. I'm not on this earth to be idle in my actions.

Thank you very much for the resources you're offering! I might take you up on the offer. The more understanding I can get, the better.

[caadam]

:sl:

Its seems that you mother is greatly influence by the media propoganda , so the first thing i suggest you is to try to remove that conceptions. I think you already know that and give them figures how many terrorist attack were assciated to muslim but not prove (even 9/11 was not proved to be done by muslim, its only media saying that) , give them figures if you are christian just count the number of innocnet muslims children , women , old person killed by christians (american forces) in afghanistan,iraq, heroshima bombing , they are in lacs , so will you assiciate it with some christina act or whole chritianinty? if you donot associate these killing with chritanity so why you are associating it some bad act to Islam

Secondly, try to explain them what Islam says , specailly about Prophet Eisa alisalm ,

Finally, it good that you love you family and they mean to you but tell me if they are doing something wrong or they belive something wrong its your duty to tell and guide them their understanding is wrong not that you are byself saying that i also belive teh wrong as my family believe teh wrong.

I would also suggest you to buy or downlaod some speeches of Dr zakir naik about christianity and Islam , and try to show them to your parents and ask question what is right and what is wrong. they had given very good speech.

Pray to Allah to over you difficulties, and donot get disharted by that , try to show your parents what actually you belive , might be they did not like the word islam due to media propoganda , but tell them what actuallty Islam say , and ask them what wrong it that? in this way you might give good understanding of Islam to your parents.

May Allah give hidayat to all of us.

I see what you're saying. Yes, I've spoken to my mother about many of the things the Church has done to others in the past, and it still does today. Sadly, many Christians out there are no better than many violent groups out parading as Muslims, or what the media tries to convince us are Muslims. I even told my mother how much the media has influenced her to think that Islam is a terrorist religion, but she denies it. But it's true. I was once like that myself. I once thought of Islam as a violent, war religion, but it's not. I am very lucky to have found an English translation of the Qur'an and I've been reading it steadily. It's amazing; I'm sure if I read a little to my mother, she would think I was reading straight from the Bible. lol Of course, it isn't the Bible, but while I was reading the Qur'an I was directly reminded of it.

I guess it will just take time. I don't want to have to give up knowing just because my family has fears inspired by America's media. Ugh.

[caadam]

peaceandlove
while my mother was not quite as umm right word... not quite as vocal... i suspect that as much as she doesn't like main stream media etc... i want to revert ( this phrase is getting easier and easier to say out typed ) ...i have heard others here say that even ifyou become muslim, your parents don't have to know right away.

As i am not islamic yet and cannot perform Dua'a for you i will still keep you in my thoughts.
Serena

I see. Well... one day at a time. :) Right now, the only truth I know is the Bible, though the more I read from the Qur'an, the more I wonder. You know? I'm not about to be hasty or anything, but as I said: I am a seeker, is all. I just want to know God and submit to God.

[Santoku]

Assalamu alaikum.

I've recently begun my understanding of Islam and a few days ago I told my mother this. I only told her that I was reading about the religion. Her reaction was startling: She gasped loudly and covered her mouth with her shirt. Her eyes got wide and she looked like she was watching someone falling off a building. :exhausted

For me, this reaction was upsetting. I didn't say I was reverting, only that I wanted to read about Islam. Not only that, but I was upset that the word itself struck fear into her. We began to discuss my feelings about Muslims, and I found hers to be more about common assumptions and stigmas. She said that every time she saw a Muslim woman wearing niqab, she would automatically become nervous that this woman might have a bomb. I tried to explain to her the meaning of a niqab, but she didn't care enough to know.

I found myself defending Muslims during this whole conversation, because all my mother could think about was Islam = terrorists. -sigh- It was frustrating. I can only imagine what she will think if in the future I might feel drawn to revert.

Is there any way I can go about understanding Islam and not be held back by my family's fear? My mother and father being my only family, their thoughts and feelings mean a lot to me as their daughter. My mother is very liberal about her Christian beliefs, my father is more firm in his.

I wonder if your phrasing has/had something to do with it. Most Christians say CONVERT not REVERT.

[Ramadhan]

I see. Well... one day at a time. Right now, the only truth I know is the Bible, though the more I read from the Qur'an, the more I wonder. You know? I'm not about to be hasty or anything, but as I said: I am a seeker, is all. I just want to know God and submit to God.

As long as you are very sincere in your quest for the truth, God SWT will show you the way Insha Allah.
Please make very sincere du'a (supplications) that God will show you the straight path and give you strength and conviction to follow His guide amiin.

Also, before you can explain to your family the truth about Islam, you must learn Islam first from the trusted sources yourself, so you have the proper knowledge.

Here's some more resources that may help you to understand Islam better:

http://www.bilalphilips.com/bilal_pa...sk=view&id=288

http://www.islamicinvitationcentre.com/index.htm

http://islamicweb.com/begin/understanding_islam.htm

http://www.call-to-monotheism.com/home

May Allah SWT guide you to the straight path. amiin.

[Ramadhan]

I wonder if your phrasing has/had something to do with it. Most Christians say CONVERT not REVERT.

It is very clear from her story that she did NOT tell her mother using the "revert" word.

She used the term "revert" for the benefit of this forum readers/members.

Anyone with basic capacity at reading comprehension can understand that.

What is actually your point, santoku?

[caadam]

As long as you are very sincere in your quest for the truth, God SWT will show you the way Insha Allah.
Please make very sincere du'a (supplications) that God will show you the straight path and give you strength and conviction to follow His guide amiin.

Also, before you can explain to your family the truth about Islam, you must learn Islam first from the trusted sources yourself, so you have the proper knowledge.

My quest for truth is sincere in that I only wish to serve God to the best of my human ability. And to only obey God and His will in everything I do.
Thank you for the Websites. I'll check them out. I already went on the Islamic Invitation Centre site, but found that some of their links don't work. :( Other than that, what information I could get to has been very useful.

[peaceandlove]

As i am not islamic yet and cannot perform Dua'a for you i will still keep you in my thoughts.
Serena

Sister, why cannot you make dua , whether a person accept islam or not he/she can surely make duas from Allah , Allah is your creater same as mine , Allah is your Lord same as mine so why did you say you cannot make duas?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

even in Muslim families its hard to practice, preach and just generally be a good Muslim as we also face these types of difficulties amongst our families as well. its not something uncommon.

if i were in your shoes, i would continue seeking/learning about Islam, but still be as dutiful and kind to your paretns as possible. Gently explain Islam to your parents and clear any misconceptions, even if they dont get it the first time, and it takes 100 times to explain, then do that. don't give up explaining or learning about islam because of one or two negative reactions, you must be persistent (and couple that with kindness) becuase through persistence (and kindness) people listen. dont get frustrated and loose your patience because then it wont really help your cause.

all the best =)

[Grace Seeker]

Assalamu alaikum.


Is there any way I can go about understanding Islam and not be held back by my family's fear? My mother and father being my only family, their thoughts and feelings mean a lot to me as their daughter. My mother is very liberal about her Christian beliefs, my father is more firm in his.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother's reaction to Islam. It does get a lot of undeserved negative press. Here are a few things you might do to allay their fears:
1) Let them know that your relationship with them is paramount in your life. Nothing about seeking to learn about one of the world's great religions in anyway jeapardizes your relationship with them unless they make it so. You won't.
2) Remind your parents "an unexamined faith is not worth living." That line, which is adapted from Socrates comments about the "unexamined life" has been spoken by so many notable Christian theologians and authors it is impossible to cite its origin. But it's universal applicability can hardly be questioned. It really is true, and Christianity does not get a pass just because it is the faith you were raised in or that your parent's hold.
3) Examining something and learning about it are different than converting. And, even if you did consider converting, at the age of 23 mom and dad should trust you to think for yourself, or don't they trust the job they did in raising you.
4) Commit to not making any hasty decisions and to sharing your thoughts with them throughout the entire process. This will let them know that you aren't just reacting, but are thinking. It also gives them permission to be involved in the process and to observe and learn with you.
5) Get more than one source. Don't depend just on this forum, but also make friends with Muslims in your community. Just as you are wise to learn about Islam from actual followers of Islam rather than the secular media, so too you want to learn from more than one source within Islam. That serves as a safeguard to your parents that no one person will be in a position to exercise control over you and as a plus for you that you will be learning about Islam rather than just how one person (or one group) understands and practices it.
6) This Tuesday is the celebration of the Eid, a time when I have found Islamic Centers very open to welcoming guests. Find out about any special service and see if it might be appropriate to not just attend for your own benefit, but invite one or both of your parents to visit with you -- in their case for educational purposes, not necessarily religious.
7) Invite some of your new Muslims friends to visit in your home so that they can be around your parents in a more casual setting. Don't even bother to introduce as being Muslims; they are just new friends, like any other new friend you might invite home (unless you never do that).
8) Lastly, consider that I am a Christian pastor and I haven't voiced one reservation about you seeking to learn more about a different faith than that which we have in common. I don't believe that there is anything to fear in the process. But, if your parents still have reservations, tell them they are welcome to contact me; I'll be happy to talk with them as needed.

[Abz2000]

salaam caadam, her's a quote which may interest you:

Abu Hurairah embraced Islam through Tufayl ibn Amr the chieftain of his tribe.
Tufayl had returned to his village after meeting Muhammad and become a Muslim in the early years of his mission. Abu Hurairah was one of the first to respond to his call, unlike the majority of Tufayl's tribesmen.
Abu Hurairah accompanied Tufayl to Mecca to meet Muhammad who renamed him Abd al-Rahman (servant of the Merciful, one of the 99 Attributes of God). Abu Hurairah then returned to his tribe for several years.
His mother, who was still a polytheist (multi-god worshipper) , was with him. He prayed for her to become a Muslim, but she refused and was scornful. Sunni sources report:
One day, he again invited his mother to believe in the One God and His Prophet. She answered with some bad words about the Prophet. Abu Hurairah went to the Prophet with tears in his eyes. “Why are you crying, Abu Hurairah?” asked the Prophet. “I always invite my mother to Islam, and she always refuses,” said Abu Hurairah. “I asked her again today. But she said some things about you that made me sad. Can you pray to Allah for her to turn to Islam?” The Prophet prayed for Abu Hurairah’s mother to accept Islam. When Abu Hurairah went home, he found the door closed. He heard the splashing of water. He tried to enter the house, but his mother said, “Wait a minute. Don’t come in yet.” Then she got dressed and said, “You can come in now.” When Abu Hurairah went inside, his mother said, “I declare that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger.” Abu Hurairah again went to the Prophet crying. But this time his tears were tears of joy. “I have good news, Rasul Allah,” he said. “Allah has answered your prayer and guided my mother to Islam.”

6. And if any strive (with might and main), they do so for their own souls: for Allah is free of all needs from all creation.

7. Those who believe and work righteous deeds,- from them shall We blot out all evil (that may be) in them, and We shall reward them according to the best of their deeds.

8. We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not. Ye have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did.

9. And those who believe and work righteous deeds,- them shall We admit to the company of the Righteous.

10. Then there are among men such as say, "We believe in Allah.; but when they suffer affliction in (the cause of) Allah, they treat men's oppression as if it were the Wrath of Allah. And if help comes (to thee) from thy Lord, they are sure to say, "We have (always) been with you!" Does not Allah know best all that is in the hearts of all creation?

11. And Allah most certainly knows those who believe, and as certainly those who are Hypocrites.

12. And the Unbelievers say to those who believe: "Follow our path, and we will bear (the consequences) of your faults." Never in the least will they bear their faults: in fact they are liars!

13. They will bear their own burdens, and (other) burdens along with their own, and on the Day of Judgments they will be called to account for their falsehoods.

Quran 29:6-13

here's part of the story of Abu Dharr:
While he was in the Waddan desert, news reached Abu Dharr that a new Prophet had appeared in Makkah. He really hoped that his appearance would help to change the hearts and minds of people and lead them away from the darkness of superstition. Without wasting much time, he called his brother, Anis, and said to him:

"Go to Makkah and get whatever news you can of this man who claims that he is a Prophet and that revelation comes to him from the heavens. Listen to some of his sayings and come back and recite them to me."

Anis went to Makkah and met the Prophet, peace and blessings of God be on him. He listened to what he had to say and returned to the Waddan desert. Abu Dharr met him and anxiously asked for news of the Prophet.

"I have seen a man," reported Anis, 'who calls people to noble qualities and there is no mere poetry in what he says."

"What do people say about him?" asked Abu Dharr.

"They say he is a magician, a soothsayer and a poet."

"My curiosity is not satisfied. I am not finished with this matter. Will you look after my family while I go out and examine this prophet's mission myself?"

"Yes. But beware of the Makkans."

On his arrival at Makkah, Abu Dharr immediately felt very apprehensive and he decided to exercise great caution. The Quraysh were noticeably angry over the denunciation of their gods. Abu Dharr heard of the terrible violence they were meting out to the followers of the Prophet but this was what he expected. He therefore refrained from asking anyone about Muhammad not knowing whether that person might be a follower or an enemy.

At nightfall, he lay down in the Sacred Mosque. Ali ibn Abi Talib passed by him and, realizing that he was a stranger, asked him to come to his house. Abu Dharr spent the night with him and in the morning took his water pouch and his bag containing provisions and returned to the Mosque. He had asked no questions and no questions were asked of him.

Abu Dharr spent the following day without getting to know the Prophet. At evening he went to the Mosque to sleep and Ali again passed by him and said:

"Isn't it time that a man knows his house?"

Abu Dharr accompanied him and stayed at his house a second night. Again no one asked the other about anything.

On the third night, however, Ali asked him, "Aren't you going to tell me why you came to Makkah?"

"Only if you will give me an undertaking that you will guide me to what I seek." Ali agreed and Abu Dharr said: "I came to Makkah from a distant place seeking a meeting with the new Prophet and to listen to some of what he has to say."

Ali's face lit up with happiness as he said, "By God, he is really the Messenger of God," and he went on telling Abu Dharr more about the Prophet and his teaching. Finally, he said:

"When we get up in the morning, follow me wherever I go. If I see anything which I am afraid of for your sake, I would stop as if to pass water. If I continue, follow me until you enter where I enter."

Abu Dharr did not sleep a wink the rest of that night because of his intense longing to see the Prophet and listen to the words of revelation. In the morning, he followed closely in Ali's footsteps until they were in the presence of the Prophet.

As-salaamu Alayka Yaa Rasulullah, (Peace be on you, O Messenger of God)," greeted Abu Dharr.

Wa Alayka salaamullahi wa rahmatuhu wa barakaatuhu (And on you be the peace of God, His mercy and His blessings)," replied the Prophet.

Abu Dharr was thus the first person to greet the Prophet with the greeting of Islam. After that, the greeting spread and came into general use.

The Prophet, peace be on him, welcomed Abu Dharr and invited him to Islam. He recited some of the Quran for him. Before long, Abu Dharr pronounced the Shahadah thus entering the new religion (without even leaving his place). He was among the first persons to accept Islam.

Let us leave Abu Dharr to continue his own story...

After that I stayed with the Prophet in Makkah and he taught me Islam and taught me to read the Quran. Then he said to me, 'Don't tell anyone in Makkah about your acceptance of Islam. I fear that they will kill you."

"By Him in whose hands is my soul, I shall not leave Makkah until I go to the Sacred Mosque and proclaim the call of Truth in the midst of the Quraysh," vowed Abu Dharr.

The Prophet remained silent. I went to the Mosque. The Quraysh were sitting and talking. I went in their midst and called out at the top of my voice, "O people of Quraysh, I testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah."

My words had an immediate effect on them. They jumped up and said, 'Get this one who has left his religion." They pounced on me and began to beat me mercilessly. They clearly meant to kill me. But Abbas ibn Abdulmuttalib, the uncle of the Prophet, recognized me. He bent over and protected me from them. He told them:

"Woe to you! Would you kill a man from the Ghifar tribe and your caravans must pass through their territory?" They then released me.

I went back to the Prophet, upon whom be peace, and when he saw my condition, he said, "Didn't I tell you not to announce your acceptance of Islam?" "O Messenger of God," I said, "It was a need I felt in my soul and I fulfilled it." "Go to your people," he commanded, "and tell them what you have seen and heard. Invite them to God. Maybe God will bring them good through you and reward you through them. And when you hear that I have come out in the open, then come to me."

I left and went back to my people. My brother came up to me and asked, "What have you done?" I told him that I had become a Muslim and that I believed in the truth of Muhammad's teachings.

"I am not averse to your religion. In fact, I am also now a Muslim and a believer," he said.

We both went to our mother then and invited her to Islam .

"I do not have any dislike from your religion. I accept Islam also," she said.

From that day this family of believers went out tirelessly inviting the Ghifar to God and did not flinch from their purpose. Eventually a large number became Muslims and the congregational Prayer was instituted among them.

peace

[Abz2000]

(Also mention in the Book (the story of) Abraham: He was a man of Truth, a prophet.

42. Behold, he said to his father: "O my father! why worship that which heareth not and seeth not, and can profit thee nothing?

43. "O my father! to me hath come knowledge which hath not reached thee: so follow me: I will guide thee to a way that is even and straight.

44. "O my father! serve not Satan: for Satan is a rebel against ((Allah)) Most Gracious.

45. "O my father! I fear lest a Penalty afflict thee from ((Allah)) Most Gracious, so that thou become to Satan a friend."

46. (The father) replied: "Dost thou hate my gods, O Abraham? If thou forbear not, I will indeed stone thee: Now get away from me for a good long while!"

47. Abraham said: "Peace be on thee: I will pray to my Lord for thy forgiveness: for He is to me Most Gracious.

48. "And I will turn away from you (all) and from those whom ye invoke besides Allah. I will call on my Lord: perhaps, by my prayer to my Lord, I shall be not unblest."

49. When he had turned away from them and from those whom they worshipped besides Allah, We bestowed on him Isaac and Jacob, and each one of them We made a prophet.

50. And We bestowed of Our Mercy on them, and We granted them lofty honour on the tongue of truth.

[bamboozled]

Assalamu alaikum.

I've recently begun my understanding of Islam and a few days ago I told my mother this. I only told her that I was reading about the religion. Her reaction was startling: She gasped loudly and covered her mouth with her shirt. Her eyes got wide and she looked like she was watching someone falling off a building. :exhausted

For me, this reaction was upsetting. I didn't say I was reverting, only that I wanted to read about Islam. Not only that, but I was upset that the word itself struck fear into her. We began to discuss my feelings about Muslims, and I found hers to be more about common assumptions and stigmas. She said that every time she saw a Muslim woman wearing niqab, she would automatically become nervous that this woman might have a bomb. I tried to explain to her the meaning of a niqab, but she didn't care enough to know.

I found myself defending Muslims during this whole conversation, because all my mother could think about was Islam = terrorists. -sigh- It was frustrating. I can only imagine what she will think if in the future I might feel drawn to revert.

Is there any way I can go about understanding Islam and not be held back by my family's fear? My mother and father being my only family, their thoughts and feelings mean a lot to me as their daughter. My mother is very liberal about her Christian beliefs, my father is more firm in his.

Wow.

Your Mother just seems to really care about you, unfortunately though she has (to some degree) let the media influence her interpretation on what it is to be a REAL Muslim and this is a great shame.

Mashallah (praise be to Allah), you actually seem to have a desire for knowledge and that is great, there is nothing better than making ones own decision from ones own carefully and precise research - There is nothing more empowering.

Here is what I advice you do bro/sis.

Mashallah, there is a wealth of information out there on all subjects, including Islam. However, it can mean that some false information gets circulated so any information you find make sure it is backed up by the Quran and a autehntic Hadith (bhakari, Muslim etc (these are just names of books)) or post it here for confirmation.

For a soruce of information, I strongly reccomed youtube videos by three speakers, for three different reasons:

1. Ahmed Deedat - he focuses on comparative religion between Islam and Christianity and has debated with some of the great Christian Evalgelists. IMO he is a One man Army, may Allah give him Jannah Firdous (the highest heaven). He is an example that one should be encouared to learn other religions. Ahmed Deedats father converted to Islam when he was a child or before he was born (cant remember). He should help provide answers to your mothers concerns. He was self taught (like you want to be) and beat these degree based christians in countless debates

2. Zakir Naik - talks a lot about islam and comparative religion as well as a great more scietific features of the Quran and its other miracles. Naik is a student of Deedat.

3. Yassir Qhadi, simply because he is responsible for one of my fav Islamic videos of ALL time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uHlNYVa62I

How Do You Speak To Your Lord? - Yasir Qadhi. I think you will like the above, watch it when you get a chance.

About your Mothers comment about getting scared from a covered Muslim women, you might want to ask her politely, what Mother Mary pbuh worn (we Muslims believe in her also) or ask her what the religious Nuns of today wear? Stay polite though, Islam doesnt allow us to be disrepectful to our parents.

Also watch this, which might help you explain to your mother, its part one of four, other parts for it are on you tube also, its titled 'Dr.Zakir Naik on Sania Mirza [Part 1]'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtE3uL9J0PA

You are searching for knowledge, its what brought you here. Keep searching and may you find what you heary yearns

Peace

[Abu-Abdullah]

Sister Cadaam,

go for it sister; learn about Islam [in secet though, so you dont have any problems from your parents] to your hearts content, for if it is the truth from God [and trust me it is], you dont want to be held back from it due to your feelings for your mum and dad, for God should allways come first; after all it is ultimately God/Allah [swt] that created you and is sustaining you and to Him we have to return and face the consequences of our actions on earth, wether they be good or bad

if you decide to revert in the near future, then do so sister no matter how much opposition you will face from your parents, for any opposition from your parents is only a part of the test from God for you, and inshAllah, when your parents see that you have changed for the better, and with gradual explaining about Islam to them, they will soon understand that it is a very ethical and moral religion

[IAmZamzam]

You're free to learn here on the internet. We can give you all sorts of links. If you need help being convinced there is my site (link below) and, for that matter, an entire site called "Be Convinced".

[truthseeker63]

Tell her there is nothing to fear from wanting to understand Islam.

[Wyatt]

If I weren't held back from converting to Islam because of some current beliefs of mine or ways of thinking, I would definitely.

Good luck! I think you'll really find Islam interesting. Would be nice if you were a convert as well. Spread more tolerance. I'm glad you research.

If you converted, maybe it would force your mother or father to learn about Islam, so that they could understand. It's funny to see how many women convert while people are all, "Islam represses women!" with... modesty?

Not sure if you want to convert. Do you have a Qur'an to read? You can get free ones in the mail from online. I got one in English and Spanish, then I finally bought myself an Arabic one.

You should see if the Qur'an burns a hole in the table when your mother sees it. ;D

[abjad]

Is there any way I can go about understanding Islam and not be held back by my family's fear? My mother and father being my only family, their thoughts and feelings mean a lot to me as their daughter. My mother is very liberal about her Christian beliefs, my father is more firm in his.

(47:1) Allah has caused the works of those who disbelieve *1 and hinder people from the way of Allah *2 to go to waste. *3
*1 "Those who disbelieved": Those who refused to accept the teachings and guidance presented 'by Muhammad (upon whom be Allah's peace and blessings).
*2 The verb sadd (from which saddu of the original is derived) is used both as a transitive and as an intransitive verb in Arabic. Therefore, the sentence would mean "they themselves refrained from adopting Allah's Way" as well as they prevented others from adopting this way." There are several ways of preventing others from adopting Allah's Way: (1) That one should forcibly prevent another from believing; (2) that one should so persecute the believers that it should become difficult for them to remain steadfast on the Faith and for others to embrace the Faith in view of the dreadful conditions; (3) that one should mislead the people against the Religion and its followers in different ways and create doubts in the hearts so that the people may become suspicious of the Religion itself. Besides, every disbeliever prevents others from the way of Allah in the sense that he brings up his children on the way of disbelief, and then it becomes difficult for his future generation to give up the ancestral faith and accept Islam. Likewise, every unbelieving society is an obstruction to the Way of AIlah, for it creates obstacles in the way of the progress of the Faith by its system of education and training, its government and its customs and prejudices.
*3 The words adalla a 'mala-hum (led their deeds astray, Iet them go to waste) are very comprehensive in meaning. Their one meaning is: AIIah deprived them of the grace that their efforts and their labours should be spent in the right way: now, whatever they do, they will do that for wrong aims and objects in wrong ways: aII their endeavors will be directed to the way of error and deviation - instead of guidance. Their second meaning is: The works that they have been performing as pious deeds, e.g. guardianship of the Ka'bah, entertaining the guests, treating the kindred well, and such other works, which are counted among religious services and noble actions morally, were rendered fruitless by AIIah; they will get no reward for them, for when they refuse to accept Tauhid and to adopt the way of Allah's service and worship and stop others also from adopting Islam none of their works can be acceptable to Allah. The third meaning is AIIah rendered fruitless an$ vain the efforts they were making to obstruct the way of the Truth and to keep their creed of disbelief alive in Arabia as against the Prophet Muhammad (upon whom be Allah's peace and blessings): all their designs and endeavours now are aimless: they will never attain their goals by these designs.
وَالَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَآَمَنُوا بِمَا نُزِّلَ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَهُوَ الْحَقُّ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ كَفَّرَ عَنْهُمْ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ وَأَصْلَحَ بَالَهُمْ ﴿47:2﴾
(47:2) As for those who attained to faith and did righteous works and believed in what was revealed to Muhammad *4 – which indeed is the Truth from their Lord *5 – Allah has remitted their evil deeds and has set their condition right. *6
*4 Although after saying alladhina amanu (those who believed) there was no need to say wa amanu bi-ma nuzzila 'ala Muhammed-in (and accepted that which has been sent down to Muhammad), for belief by itself implies believing in the Holy Prophet Muhammad and in the teachings sent down to him, yet making a separate mention of it is particularly meant to assert this: After the appointment of Muhammad (upon whom be Allah's peace and blessings) to Prophethood, a person's belief in Allah and the Hereafter and the former Messengers and the Books cannot be beneficial until he also believes in him and the teachings brought by him. This explanation was necessary because after the emigration, the Muslims had also to deal with those people, who recognized and accepted all the requirements of the Faith but refused to acknowledge and accept the Prophethood of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (upon whom be Allah's peace and blessings).
*5 This has two meanings: (l) That Allah wiped off from their record all those sins which they had happened to commit in the pre-Islamic days of ignorance: now, they will not at alI be held accountable for them; and (2) that Allah removed from them the evils of creed, thought, morals and action in which they were involved. Now their minds were changed; their creed and ideas were changed; now there was faith in their hearts instead of ignorance and righteous acts instead of the immoral evil.
*6 This also has two meanings: (1) That Allah changed their previous condition and put them on the right path and improved and bettered their lives for them; and (2) that AIlah has taken them out of the condition of weakness and helplessness and oppression in which they were placed till then; now He has created for them such conditions in which instead of being persecuted they will defend themselves against the oppressors; instead of living as subjects, they will now live and order their lives as free people, and will have the upper hand instead of being subdued and suppressed.
ذَلِكَ بِأَنَّ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا اتَّبَعُوا الْبَاطِلَ وَأَنَّ الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا اتَّبَعُوا الْحَقَّ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ كَذَلِكَ يَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ لِلنَّاسِ أَمْثَالَهُمْ ﴿47:3﴾
(47:3) That is because those who disbelieved followed falsehood whereas those who believed followed the Truth that came to them from their Lord. Thus does Allah set forth to people parables showing their true state. *7
*7 That is, "He makes both the parties aware of their positions. One party insists on following falsehood; therefore, Allah has brought all its endeavors to naught: and the other party has adopted obedience of the Truth; therefore, AIIah has purified it of its evils and corrected its condition."

[zaidss786]

This is the biggest problem people looking into islam are facing. But let me tell you once you overcome this challenge Allah will make it easy on you. You will see that your family and friends are becoming more distant from you and ****an will try to once again make you leave islam. But hold strong because surely this is the hardest step. and inshallah allah will make it easy on you. Ameen.

[abdullah_001]

Assalamu Alaikum,

You know what they say sister, lead through example. Since, we're not there to clear the social stigmas and represent Islam, why don't you represent Islam for us. (Ka ching!)

Assalamu Alaikum

[moonseo]

Some non Muslims believe that women, in Islam, are viewed as utterly subservient to males. See their arguments below and accompanying hints on these arguments and seek the truth yourself:
Have sex with your women whenever and as often as you like. 2:223 [Hint: The verse is truncated. The the verse says (meaning English translation): {Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but plan in advance and do some good act for your souls beforehand (foreplay sex) ; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe. (223)}. This means don't approach in sex with other than your wife that you can approach whenever you want. However, you should have foreplay sex first with her to please yourselves and get her acceptance. When approaching your wife fear Allah (God) and be kind to your wife.]
Women have rights that are similar to men, but men are "a degree above them." 2:228 [Hint:again the verse says (meaning English translation): {... And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise. (228)}. The men degree above wives is only in money spending. It is the Islam obligation that Husbands are responsible of all marriage expenditures even if the wives work and earn money. The wife money is for her own investment to her own choice. This is explained explicitly in verse 4:34 that says: {Men are the support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them)}
A woman is worth one-half a man. 2:282 [Hint: This is absolutely wrong. Only in two cases. First, in witness regarding money affairs, witness of two men is required or one man and two women. In other cases of witness, only woman witness is necessary. second, in inheritance by sons and daughters. the son inherit twice the daughter because it is the Islam obligation that Husbands are responsible of all marriage expenditures even if the wives work and earn money. The wife money is only for her own investment to her own choice. Accordingly, males are in more need of money than females.]
"Marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four." 4:3 [Hint: Again the verse is truncated and miss understood. The verse says{marry women who are lawful for you, two, three, or four; but if you fear you cannot treat so many with equity, marry only one}. Accordingly, it is conditional to marry more than one. You must treat them equally, get the approval of previous wife before the new marriage, each wife to have independent and same level residence and receive same expenditure and appreciation, .... Because of the difficulty to fulfill these many conditions it very rare and very seldom to find one marrying more than wife. It is not like some Christian denominations that allow unconditional polygamy with unlimited number of wives]
Males are to inherit twice that of females. 4:11 [Hint: This is only in one case. When the one passing away has sons and daughters. The son inherits twice the daughter because it is the Islam obligation that Husbands are responsible of all marriage expenditures even if the wives work and earn money. The wife's money is only for her own investment to her own choice. Accordingly, males are in more need of money than females. Other cases are quite different. For example, if one died and has one daughter and his parents are alive. His daughter inherits 1/2 his wealth. His parents each equally gets 1/6 of his wealth.]

Men are in charge of women, because Allah made men to be better than women. 4:34 [Hint: Allah made men better than women only in expenditures. Otherwise, they are equal or in some cases women are better than men. The verse 4:34 says: {Men are the support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them)}]
Don't pray if you are drunk, dirty, or have touched a woman lately. 4:43. [Hint: The statement is misleading and not correct. The verse says: {O you who believe, do not perform your service of prayer when you are intoxicated until you are sure of what you are saying, nor when in a state of seminal pollution (due to intercourse sex with wife), until you have taken a bath,...}. The verse is very. Don't pray when drunk. If you are in a state of seminal pollution due to sex with wife, you should take bath. Is there any wrong ?]
Women are feeble and are unable to devise a plan. 4:98 [Hint: Please read the the verse before this verse and the verse after it to understand the meaning. The verses 97-99 say, those who dye as unbelievers and claim that they were oppressed will be punished in the day of judgment because they didn't migrate to other lands. The exceptions are men, women, and children who are feeble and can't plan to migrate. Those will be forgiven by God. Is there any thing here against women?]
"Unto the male is the equivalent share of two females." 4:176 [Hint: Refer to the Hint under item # 3]
When it's time to pray and you have just used the toilet or touched a woman be sure to wash up. If you can't find any water, just rub some dirt on yourself. 5:6 [Hint: it means don't pray without ablution (minor or major ablution) if you used the toilet or made sex with your wife. If you don't find water make what is called 'Taiammum'. In taiammum, you beat the floor (or carpet or the like) once and wipe your face and another time and wipe your face as symbol for rituals before praying. What is wrong in this and what is against women in this?] :)

Teaching Quran is my site we are offering Quran Teaching, Quran Recitation, Hadith, Tafseer, Tajweed, and more if you want to learning quran so pleace contact us +44 208 144 1476, +1 949 769 2326, This our number and teaching quran is my site so vist teachingquran.com

[Aqua]

I had the same reaction as yours from my mom. I understand you,but what i understood from my mom is that she was too old and indoctrinated from the Tv and general media to have fear from Muslims, that couldn't not do anything about it.
What i did was not telling more to her what i read and what i do. I advise to find another person in your neighbor or school to talk with him/her cuz you will have always a lot of questions,and you need to know what books to read first.
If you will meet a Muslim of your age and tell him i want to learn more about islam ,can you teach me,every one will do it with pleasure,i guarantee you.
After understanding most of Islam,start learning about the Christian religion and the mistakes that are in the bible,and after learning 101 of 1000 go to your mother and confront her. Explain her the mistakes in her religion ,open her mind about the evil in this world and then show her the wright road,islam.
Selam Alejkum