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SafaAuditore
12-20-2010, 08:43 PM
Someone can come up with a title for this one cause honestly, i couldn't think of one. sowwie.

It's about...everything.

__________________________________________________ ___

It wasn’t a lightening storm, no


That gave birth to our earth,


It was the one above,


That created us first,



Who made up colors?


Who made up thoughts?


Who made the metal turned to deadly shots?



What’s this spell that’s got mankind under?


We’re firing the bullets, without considering a number,



The victims, the targets, they’re all human,


White phosphorus they’re all consumin’,



They’ve tied up children,


Shot the parents,


It’s all about winning,


No thinking, no guidance.



Shooting bullets at their hearts,


Sticking knives in their arteries,


Like it’s a game of darts,


How could it be a part of me?



It’s not right, it’s not human,


Swimming in blood, they’re still human,


They’re the enemy, and you’re inhuman,


God must be pissed, to see his damaged humans.



They’ve held bodies, before they got cold,


Fresh, with fading spirit, five years old,


Why’d God make us, if this is how we go?





Copyright © 2010 Serena G




Feedback Welcome and Appreciated! =)
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Perseveranze
12-20-2010, 09:45 PM
Asalaamu Alaikum,

Wonderful and deep poem :) I'm not good with names unfortunatly. Sounds like your talking about the "Creation of the Creator" though.
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Muhaba
12-21-2010, 07:07 AM
how about "that's life" or just "life"

i don't like the question at the end though.
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Rafeeq
12-21-2010, 07:28 AM
ISRAEL.......

A title might be "Cruelty"
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Abdul-Raouf
12-21-2010, 01:33 PM
"The Impatient Creation" or "The Impatient"
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SafaAuditore
12-21-2010, 06:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by muhaba
how about "that's life" or just "life"

i don't like the question at the end though.
Why not? lol. I said why'd god make us if this is how we're gonna go. By that i mean why'd he create humans if they're just gonna kill themselves and each other. Why create things that're just going to fight each other till extinction? It's not questioning creation, but it's questioning violence.





And thanks everyone =)
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Muezzin
12-21-2010, 06:52 PM
A well-written, insightful piece.

As for a title, how about 'Birth'?
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