Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,
I write this on behalf of a sister and iAllah she will check if everything is accurate upon arrival from a journey. I have known her for many years and so iAllah the detailing will be correct.
Well, the sister (whom i will assign a pseudonym - Mariam) is 21 and was in an illicit relationship since 14 years of age..
She was quite a practicing Muslim and she met a guy who was not. They dated for a period of two years and then to
avoid haram, they secretly married. They told quite a few friends about this and their intention was to tell their families within a year or so. A year
became three and the couple in question had grown apart considerably within the first year of the marriage. They would argue very often and make up after many
hurtful and abusive comments were made. They would then be extremely happy with each other, only to argue again within a couple of days.
They held onto their marriage through it all with the hope things would improve and through detesting divorce. And besides, Mariam would say they were deeply in love.
Over the years, from what I know of my friends character and from what I saw and heard about her husband, they had both been raised to high levels of piety and were
what i would describe as 'devout Muslims’..
However, the strain of the relationship became too great for both parties to bear and so they decided separating was the best option. They both went their separate ways,
never contacting each other until a year after the split.. The ex husband contacted Mariam telling her their marriage was not valid due to they only being two female witnesses
present and nobody else.
Mariam was extremely hurt and disgusted by the sins she had committed, sincerely repented. She deems this whole situation as the worst choices she made in her life. Her ex husband
had settled down with another woman and so there was no option of her marrying him.. Mariam is now at a stage in her life where she is ready for marriage.
Myself and Mariam were discussing the implications of this situation and how it would later affect her in life. I recall her talking of how Allah will help her and He will do what is
best for her, as He has always done.
However, we both could not help but think of what potential suitors would think of her.. Say, a potential spouse was very happy with Mariam being his potential wife and so he was ready
to finalise the agreement, so to speak. But then, Mariam told him of her past (and no, unfortunately the sister is not a virgin)..
What would he decide to do?
Guaranteed, it will depend on the character of the man, but we wondered what Muslim men out there would think they would do if they were in the situation where they really liked Mariam but discovered this secret..
Your opinions are valued, as are the girls if they’d like to make any comments.. JazaakAllah