marriage

okay... first reminder.... i haven't reverted yet... that said i'm looking at things from an islamic view ... but marriage.
I've never had a real desire to get married... i'm an only child i live w/ my parents... in large part because to help them.... i need to be around.. though they will need me much more later .. just not sure how much later .

i know a lot of girls.. young women ..women my age who looked at wedding magazines in books... thought about what they wanted as a spouse. I've done none of that... ever. As i haven't reverted yet... i have dated... though none of it ever seems to work out the way that it should.

I have to wonder.... is that gonna cause me more problems if i don't revert ? May Allah (swt ) guide me if that is his wish, buti just can't imagine being married. I can't imagine waking up to the same person every morning for hopefully the next many years....

Serena

thank you lily.... i do appreciate that.
Serena

With me its same as you cant imagine having children, im not saying i dont want kids, im very broody at the min (yes guys do get broody)lol

You might regret it one day when you are old, and you have no one there,

Im sure we all want to be loved, and im sure you will think differently when you meet that person.

Inshallah you will make shahada

serena77 said:

okay... first reminder.... i haven't reverted yet... that said i'm looking at things from an islamic view ... but marriage.
I've never had a real desire to get married... i'm an only child i live w/ my parents... in large part because to help them.... i need to be around.. though they will need me much more later .. just not sure how much later .

i know a lot of girls.. young women ..women my age who looked at wedding magazines in books... thought about what they wanted as a spouse. I've done none of that... ever. As i haven't reverted yet... i have dated... though none of it ever seems to work out the way that it should.

I have to wonder.... is that gonna cause me more problems if i don't revert ? May Allah (swt ) guide me if that is his wish, buti just can't imagine being married. I can't imagine waking up to the same person every morning for hopefully the next many years....

Serena

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Hello there Serena, it is natural to be in fear of something that one does not understand or has not yet experienced. I was in fear of high school when i was at Juniors because i did'nt know what it will be like but when i got there i thought "Why was i ever worried"?

I was also in fear of college when i was at High school because it was a whole new world for me to go into but when i got there i thought "Why was i ever worried its fine".

I was also in fear of University when i was in College because i thought going out there living on my own and doing everything for myself is like a whole new experience and naturally one is in fear at that stage but when i got there i thought "Why was i ever worried its a good experience."

Sameway you must be in fear of what it will be like when you become a Muslim inshallah because it is a whole new life changing experience for you but when you become a Muslim inshallah then you will feel like a big burden lifted off of your shoulders and you will feel more amazing than you have ever imagined possible and you will think "Why did'nt i ever revert earlier this is nothing like i imagined for this feeling is beyond comprehension". By the way I am basing these reactions on the experiences of many reverts that i have known in my life and from what i have seen but of course every person is different but i am sure you feel feel similar to how they felt if not even better.

So Serena what i would say to you is marriage will not be what you think it is right now because naturally we fear what we don't understand or what we haven't experienced. Once you do get married inshallah then you will think "Why didn't i ever get married earlier". Again this is based on the experiences of many married people i have known in my life and from what i have seen, as i myself am not married as yet but marriage is such a beautiful thing and i am sure you will feel similar if not even better to how they felt when they got married for the first time.

So right now at this stage in your life concentrate on Islam and once you have taken the step to revert then you can think about other things like marriage etc. As long as you do things in the right way as in Islamically go about looking for marriage and do everything within the boundaries of Islam then everything in your life will click into place like a jigsaw puzzle i promise you.

And Allah knows best in all matters

I'm not married so I can't really say much.

My sister got married over a year ago. Mashallah she's changed so much, it really is like a dead flower which has come back to life. She seems much more alive now. Anyway, she told me that in order to be happy in marriage the couple have to make each other happy.

jimbo123 said:

I'm not married so I can't really say much.

My sister got married over a year ago. Mashallah she's changed so much, it really is like a dead flower which has come back to life. She seems much more alive now. Anyway, she told me that in order to be happy in marriage the couple have to make each other happy.

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salaam

I think thats the key to all strong marriages. Creating a calm, safe and trust based relationship.

peace

Salaam/Peace

serena77 said:

is that gonna cause me more problems if i don't revert ?

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If u are sure Islam is the Truth , then u must convert

. I can't imagine waking up to the same person every morning for hopefully the next many years....

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it's such a blessing to spend years together with a pious life partner . Do pray that God bless u with that.

Dear Serena!
Seeing things from an Islamic view is a good thing. I think that if you really find Islam true, you should revert. You should convert to Islam but from the heart because the first thing is Islam is tawheed[faith].

Salaam Serena, I think you will know deep down when it's the right person Insha'Allah, my advice is work on your own self advancement first maybe the deen,career,education. Be the person you want to be, marriage is like a project it takes time and will be up and down. If you decide to revert it's also half the deen, I hope Allah blesses you with a pious partner in the future.