format_quote Originally Posted by
nshah
I have a question here. She has been very supportive, very understanding and every good change in me is because of her and we do not talk or perform sin when we are alone or we talk on the phone. Is talking to someone whom we love or intend to marry in a righteous way considered as sin, also our parents are aware of our relationship. Would it be wrong of me if I take a liberal stand on the same? After coming here, i hold great respect for the brothers and sisters who help people like me here. I cant help but wonder about how much knowledge is out there, out here. I apologise if anything i utter sounds offensive, because that is certainly not what my heart means.
Regards,
N shah
Asalaamu Alaikum, One Scholar said:
It is important to remember the teaching and basis of Islam. Islam is neither too lenient in matters nor is it too strict; it is free from both extremes and therefore adopts the "middle" path.
A great importance has been placed on marriage in Islam. Therefore, Shari'ah allows the proposed partners to look at each other and talk to one another, but this has its boundaries and extent. One cannot communicate with the proposed partner outside the boundaries set by Shari'ah.
Hadhrat Umar Radhiallahu Anhu related that Rasulullah
said: “Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Shaytan makes a third”
(Tirmidhi).
Sayidina Ibn Abbas (radiAllahu anh) narrates that he heard Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) saying, “It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman...
[Volume 4, Book 52, Number 250: Imaam Bukhari]
Also, Hadhrat Ibn Abbas Radhiallahu Anhu related that Rasulullah
said: “Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative within the prohibited degrees”
(Bukhari, Muslim).
Ibn Juraij (radiAllahu anh) narrated that ‘no person should be alone with a woman except when there is a
mahram with her.
’ [Book 007, Number 3112 Imaam Muslim]
Talking to one's proposed partner is also allowed in Islam providing her mahrams are present at all times. This is to ensure that we know the nature and character of the person we are proposing to marry. However, as with all matters, there are guidelines and limitations:
The talk should contain no essence of flirtatious speech of a sexual nature. The purpose of talking is to get to know one another, and to achieve this shame and modesty should not be forgotten.
Topics discussed can include each other’s interests, financial situation of the man, who is Islamically responsible for providing for his wife and children, and the two potential spouses’ relationship with their parents. Or any other topic that concerns them regards to their marriage.
Furthermore,
it should be noted that talking should not be just for the sake of talking. The purpose is to assure that the proposed spouse is compatible with the person. Thus, if is known that the person is not compatible then the conversation should not drag on for the sake of talking.
In conclusion, whilst taking all the above into account, it should be clear that it is not religiously correct for a person to keep in contact with the proposed spouse through any means, be it text messaging, e-mailing or any form of communication, even if it means no free-mixing.
The proposed partner is a non-Mahram and therefore no contact is allowed in Islam except for the purpose of Nikaah. And for this need there are rules and boundaries as mentioned.
End
So my brother i am sure that there is no more need for you and her to drag on your conversations with each other as you are both sure that you want to marry each other so therefore you must go to her house with your parents as soon as is possible and waste no time in doing so.
As mentioned above with regards to the guidelines and limits which shariah has set then you should not be in touch with her without her mahrams present and you should also speed up the process of going to her house with your parents as there is no more need to "get to know her" anymore as you are both sure that you want to proceed to marriage.
After your parents have met then you and her should discuss the matter with your parents and then do isthikhara a few times and take things from there. Whatever is best for the both of you will happen inshallah.
And Allah knows best in all matters