Having a hard time at home :(

[Ami]

Am feeling very down tonight because of words my mum said to me. I didn't tell my family I am Muslim yet but I have said I do not believe in the Catholic religion but my mum has seemed to figure out I believe in Islam because I do not eat pork and these things. She said horrible things to me tonight, she was drunk also and I couldn't believe what she was saying so now I feel even worse and that I can't tell them I am Muslim because of what they will think. I always thought she would be open minded so its really disappointing. I duno what to do now - I do not want to hide my religion but I do not want to cause a disaster in my family.

[Woodrow]

Am feeling very down tonight because of words my mum said to me. I didn't tell my family I am Muslim yet but I have said I do not believe in the Catholic religion but my mum has seemed to figure out I believe in Islam because I do not eat pork and these things. She said horrible things to me tonight, she was drunk also and I couldn't believe what she was saying so now I feel even worse and that I can't tell them I am Muslim because of what they will think. I always thought she would be open minded so its really disappointing. I duno what to do now - I do not want to hide my religion but I do not want to cause a disaster in my family.

It is very difficult for a Catholic to revert because of family pressure. even though many Catholics are only Easter and Christmas Catholics. Many Catholic families see it as a disgrace to the family if one of the family leaves Catholicism. To a Catholic family when one leaves the Church it is as if the person has renounced god and the family. You have to work to show that you have not stopped believing in God and it is because you were a good Catholic you were led to Islam.

[Little_Lion]

You're stronger than I am Ami . . . the lure of bacon is sometimes SO LOUD!!!! Oh, WHY must I live three blocks away from Bacon-Double Cheeseburgers??? *laughs*

But seriously, showing by example that you are first and foremost still their daughter and still the person they always loved is probably one of the best testaments to Islam you can give, especially in the western world where it's still seen as a cult of terrorists by many. When I gave my shahada, I did not tell my husband for a week; not because I wanted to hide it from him or was afraid, but because when I DID tell him, he would be able to look back at that week and see that I was the same person he married and loved. It worked, after he had a day or two to think about it.

Reverting is not easy, and you're going to face many trials, there's no mistake about that. But I'll pass on the advice that was given me, if it will help insha'Allah: you have given your shahada, and Allah is all-knowing and the best of judges, and knows what is in your heart. He has knows what we do not: how much time we have left on this Earth. He has also given us many messages that Islam is not meant to be a hardship upon the Ummah.

Take your time. There is much to learn, and much to do in strengthening our relationship with Allah. Just as no one could expect you to learn the salat, du'as, Hadith (both reputable and non), and be able to recite the Qur'an in a day, to expect the family to accept such a change in a day is also unreasonable. Take the journey in small steps, together as much as possible.

I'll have to quote from a Disney movie here, but I think it's appropriate. Family means no one is left behind, or forgotten*. Lilo and Stitch. :) I know it will be difficult, but I hope that both sides can see each other in love and make sure no one is forgotten or left behind.








*Unless it is my mother. Her you can leave behind or forget in Siberia, or better yet, the bottom of the Mariana Trench. But that has nothing to do with my reversion. :D

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam sister

Welcome to Islam :)

sorry to know u are facing problmes :( Have patience pl. InshaAllah u will be rewarded for all your
hard tests .

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[missy]

Salaam Ami,

U knw wat sis….You are being rewarded for everything that you do for the sake of Allah (SWT)…even in times of difficulty you should be grateful to Him that He has guided you to the Straight path, you should be steadfast in ur Prayers and ask Allah (SWT) to help u , He's the Most Merciful, u shud have complete trust in Him…and He will make things easy for u…..He says in the Holy Quran:
"MY MERCY ENCOMPASSES ALL THINGS" [AL-ARAF 7: 156.]

These verses will hopefully bring ease to ur heart….:)
"… And Allaah is the Wali (Protector and Helper) of the believers.” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:68]
“…And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).” [al-Talaaq 65:2]
“… Allaah will grant after hardship, ease.” [al-Talaaq 65:7]
5."so Verily, with every hardship, there is relief, 6. Verily, with every hardship, there is relief" (Ash-Sharh 94:5-6)

You have to work to show that you have not stopped believing in God and it is because you were a good Catholic you were led to Islam.

^I agree wid Bro Woodrow ....u shud show them that there are many similarities in Islam and Christianity...and that true faith in Prophet Jesus will lead one to Islam...
u can refer to Islamic books and take the help of Muslims on this forum to teach u the correct method of inviting ur parents to Islam......Allah (SWT) says,
"Who is better in speech than one who calls [men] to Allah, works righteousness, and says: ‘I am one of the Muslims?’" [Surah Fussilaat (41), ayah 33.]

May Allah (SWT) help u out in every step u take...and Guide ur parents to Islam.Ameen

<3

[julie sarri]

salaam its not easy my mother is also catholic and she also guessed i had become Muslim well she new it would happen as my husband is a Muslim but when i started to cover my head hijab she blew a fuse lucky for me i was not living with her anymore but she wouldn't let me come to visit her and spoke to me only by phone but after 3 months she missed me so much that she gave up and i came to see her wearing hijab now she fine with it she dosent ask me to much about islam i do try and correct her some times but mostly we have a normal family and now i have the twins she knows that safiyyah will wear hijab at some point and that zakariya was circumcised she even said he looked cute in his thobe some times it takes people a whlie to get used to the idea like my mum lots of du'a sis it helped me a lot

[MustafaMc]

Matters of faith are fundamental to a persons self identity and, whether we like it our not, they are also important to our sense of affinity with others. When I became a Muslim my basic beliefs about God and my relationship to Him changed and my relationship with my family became more distant as they did not approve of my conversion to Islam. I did not treat them differently after becoming a Muslim, but I sensed a separation between our hearts that remains until today. I advise you to not become confrontational, but to let them know about your acceptance of Islam as your religion with its requirements to live your life according to its tenets. Be prepared for the worst and pray for the best.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
one of my close friends is a revert i think from the same religion you reverted from as-well... her family are extremely strict and she has told me that her mother has insulted the Prophet, sallahu aleyhi wa sallam.

she told me even before she reverted she stopped eating pork and that kind of stuff. and she also had difficulty with the hijab around her parents. i think she mentioned that her parents wouldnt let her wear it when she came to visit them.

but mashallah, you would never figure out that she has faced difficulty with her family becuase she is very steadfast in the deen. she doesn't care what anyone thinks...same with her husband.

i dont know if that was any help...but i thought you'd like to know because your situation sounds similar to hers. keep your head above water and kill your parents with kindness (but not in a bad way :P)

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam Sis,

if u live in London , u may contact here

support for revert sisters in London



SOLACE was set up by a group of sisters who were concerned about the difficulties that revert sisters often face. Whilst there are many organisations who cater for the educational and Islamic needs of new revert sisters, we felt there lacked an organisation whose aim was relieving the difficulties of revert sisters regardless of whether they have been a Muslim for a few weeks or many years.


Since SOLACE launched just over a month ago, 25 revert sisters in difficulty are receiving emotional and practical support. Alhamdulillah!


SOLACE currently provides support for revert sisters in London and a phoneline service for sisters living outside of London. We are expanding to other areas around the United Kingdom inshaAllah.
Please spread the word about SOLACE.

Website: www.solaceuk.org Contact: info@solaceuk.org

Quote of the Day



Those who have left their homes or been driven out of them, or suffered harm in My cause, or fought or been slain - truly I will blot out from the, their inequities and admit them into gardens with rivers flowing beneath, a reward from the Presence of God; and from His presence are the best of rewards.
3: 195

[Perseveranze]

Quote of the Day



Those who have left their homes or been driven out of them, or suffered harm in My cause, or fought or been slain - truly I will blot out from the, their inequities and admit them into gardens with rivers flowing beneath, a reward from the Presence of God; and from His presence are the best of rewards.
3: 195

Beautiful verse.

Dear Sister, I hope you can remain strong and remember your doing this for your Creator, everyone is tested in their own special way for a reason.

[Ranya]

I have the same problem with my mother. I didn't tell her anything about my conversion to Islam but I try everyday to explain the Qu'ran and the very Islamic teachings, not what she watch in Tv. As a result, she hate more and more Islam and I decided it's better to keep quiet.

[Ami]

Thanks all for the kind words and support it was really helpful to me, my mum has apologised today for the things she said to me and I tried to explain to her that as people we shouldn't judge each other on the basis of beliefs because I am still her daughter and I still care about her. I did not out straight say I was Muslim because I did not want to make the situation worse but it is just something I think she knows without me saying. I do not want to shove everything in her face about Islam because I know if someone did that to me before I was Muslim I wouldn't want to know, that is why I am taking it slowly, maybe now and then I can tell her the things my beliefs have in common with hers rather than pointing out what is wrong etc.
I felt better when I read this in the quran, I know being patient is so important in Islam so I am trying my best , thanks again for all the support.

And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient). [2.155]

[Samiro]

Sister may Allah grant you sabr through these hard times! Show your mother the goodness of Islam through your manners :)

[ummibby]

Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried? Surat Al-Ankabut (2)

Dear sister, the early days as a muslim are hard but your struggles are not in vain.

Showing by example is such good dawah. May Allah grant you strength and sabr, ameen.