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Irisheyes
04-25-2011, 01:15 AM
hey everyone,

I am alittle confused at the minute with this one.

I am non muslim thinking of converting (insha'Allah) and i am going to marry a muslim. Some muslims have told me it is haram for a muslim to marry a non muslim others or then tellim me it is allowed.

Is there anyone that can tell me wats the real thing is. i have been trying to read the Qur'an and to my understand allah said that it was ok for this marriage between muslim man and a non muslim woman.

Im just so confused
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Woodrow
04-25-2011, 02:53 AM
Peace,

It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman, if she is a virtuous woman and one of the People of the Book (Jew, Christian or Sabian).

A word of caution. In your other thread you mentioned a desire to revert to Islam. It is very possible you may turn out to be a better practicing Muslim than your husband to be, in which case you may decide not to marry him.

If you do go ahead and revert to Islam do it for one reason only and that being because you desire to please Allaah(swt) and only for that reason. do not revert to please any man. to accept Islam is between you and Allaah(swt) alone. Only Allaah(swt) and yourself will be the only ones who know if you said the shahadah in full sincerity.
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Irisheyes
04-25-2011, 02:59 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
Peace,

It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman, if she is a virtuous woman and one of the People of the Book (Jew, Christian or Sabian).

A word of caution. In your other thread you mentioned a desire to revert to Islam. It is very possible you may turn out to be a better practicing Muslim than your husband to be, in which case you may decide not to marry him.

If you do go ahead and revert to Islam do it for one reason only and that being because you desire to please Allaah(swt) and only for that reason. do not revert to please any man. to accept Islam is between you and Allaah(swt) alone. Only Allaah(swt) and yourself will be the only ones who know if you said the shahadah in full sincerity.
This is my worry that if and when i do it people will think i have done it for myself. i want to do it for me and my daughter. i love to learn about it.

The first time i realised that it meant something to me was when..... i was reading a book that my friend a young convert gave to me about other women, thier stories of how they converted and while reading it i got this strange but wonderful feeling in my stomach. i cant explain the feeling but it was amazing.

it was then that i started to ask question both to my partner and my friend. My partner has never spoke to me about islam unless i asked about it, he has never presurised me in any way and he has told me what ever my decision he will support me.

in my town to my knowledge there is only my friend who is muslim so becasue people dont know anything about it they will think i will have had to turn muslim to marry him. i dont want them to think bad of him!
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Irisheyes
04-25-2011, 03:07 AM
i meant to say that i will not have done it for myself
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Ramadhan
04-25-2011, 03:29 AM
You shouldn't be too worried about other people's reactions.
Even if the whole world does not believe that you are converting not because you want to marry him, the most important thing is you do it for the right reason, and remember that Allah knows absolutely everything.
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Yanal
04-25-2011, 03:42 AM
:sl:

I have some questions about Islam, could you explain them for me? Is it permissible for someone who follows Islam to marry someone who does not follows Islam without that person converting to Islam after marriage?.



Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman if she is Christian or Jewish, but it is not permissible for him to marry a non-Muslim woman who follows any religion other than these two. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are At‑Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends”
[al-Maa'idah 5:4]
Imam al-Tabari said in his commentary on this verse:
“chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture” means, free woman among those whom have been given the Scripture, namely the Jews and Christians who believe in what is in the Tawraat (Torah) and Injeel (Gospel) from among the people who came before you, O believers in Muhammad, whether from among the Arabs or other people; you are permitted to marry them “when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” which means, if you give to those whom you marry of your (Muslims’) chaste women and their (Jews’ and Christians’) chaste women their mahrs or dowries.”
(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 6/104)
But it is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Magian (Zoroastrian) woman or a communist woman or an idol-worshipping woman, etc.
The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
A mushrikah is an idol-worshipping woman who worships stones, whether from among the Arabs or others.
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim from any other religion, whether from among the Jews or Christians, or any other kaafir religion. It is not permissible for her to marry a Jew, a Christian, a Magian, a communist, an idol-worshipper, etc.
The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
Imam al-Tabari said:
What is said concerning the interpretation of the words “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you” is that what Allaah meant by that is that Allaah has forbidden the believing women to give birth to a mushrik, no matter what kind of shirk he believes in. So, O believers, do not give your daughters in marriage to them, for that is forbidden to you. For you to give them in marriage to a believing slave who believes in Allaah and His Messenger and that which he brought from Allaah is better for you than to give them in marriage to a free mushrik even if he is of noble descent and honourable origins, even if you like his descent and background…
It was narrated that Qutaadah and al-Zuhri said, concerning the phrase “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon”, It is not permissible for you to give them in marriage to a Jew or a Christian or a mushrik who is not a follower of your religion. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 2/379).


Islam Q&A


Source.
Insha'Allaah that helps give you some hindsight on the question you asked.
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Woodrow
04-25-2011, 03:50 AM
If you do feel you want to revert. revert prior to marriage and begin on the right foot by being married Islamically and for all courtship be halal and through a wali. as a revert you will not have any relative to serve as your wali. In which case you contact the Imam of the nearest mosque and ask for him to find a wali for you. The wali would most likely have to be one by telephone contact. But that is ok. Next you begin plans for what you want in your Nikkah (Marriage contract) and your wali asks your husband to be to list what he wants in the Nikkah. the contract is than written up including both of your desires. You both read the contract and sign it in the presence of witnesses.
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Irisheyes
04-26-2011, 04:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
If you do feel you want to revert. revert prior to marriage and begin on the right foot by being married Islamically and for all courtship be halal and through a wali. as a revert you will not have any relative to serve as your wali. In which case you contact the Imam of the nearest mosque and ask for him to find a wali for you. The wali would most likely have to be one by telephone contact. But that is ok. Next you begin plans for what you want in your Nikkah (Marriage contract) and your wali asks your husband to be to list what he wants in the Nikkah. the contract is than written up including both of your desires. You both read the contract and sign it in the presence of witnesses.
I want to convert, i mean i would like to convert but if i do ti before marriage everyone here wil think i will have had to, to marry him! i dont want people more bad of muslim culture!!
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Woodrow
04-26-2011, 05:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Irisheyes
I want to convert, i mean i would like to convert but if i do ti before marriage everyone here wil think i will have had to, to marry him! i dont want people more bad of muslim culture!!
Do not ever worry about the opinions of others. If you know you are doing the right thing, do it. We are to please Allaah(swt), if our actions please him and displease everybody on earth it is of no importance. The uninformed will always see what ever we do as being wrong or forced upon us. Those who understand Islam will know that the only way you can revert is by your own choice.
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Ramadhan
04-26-2011, 06:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Irisheyes
I want to convert, i mean i would like to convert but if i do ti before marriage everyone here wil think i will have had to, to marry him! i dont want people more bad of muslim culture!!
If you do it for the sake of Allah, Allah will take care of everything else.

You shouldnt do things to please people, especially when it comes to such matter as faith.

You said people would assume you convert just because of the marriage if you do it before.

However, if you do it after marriage, people may also still assume that your husband forces you to revert after marriage.
Just do the right thing and sooner or later people will see the truth although it may not seem that way in the beginning.
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Irisheyes
04-26-2011, 10:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by naidamar

If you do it for the sake of Allah, Allah will take care of everything else.

You shouldnt do things to please people, especially when it comes to such matter as faith.

You said people would assume you convert just because of the marriage if you do it before.

However, if you do it after marriage, people may also still assume that your husband forces you to revert after marriage.
Just do the right thing and sooner or later people will see the truth although it may not seem that way in the beginning.
Thank you, i just wish my family were so understanding or at least have an open mind about it!! x
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Irisheyes
04-26-2011, 10:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
Do not ever worry about the opinions of others. If you know you are doing the right thing, do it. We are to please Allaah(swt), if our actions please him and displease everybody on earth it is of no importance. The uninformed will always see what ever we do as being wrong or forced upon us. Those who understand Islam will know that the only way you can revert is by your own choice.
i never before worried wat people thoguht of me i just got on with my life nut i have a young friend who is a convert 3 years and she is the only muslim in the town untill i convert and it is so hard for her.

The other day at the hospital a middle aged man spat at her! she is so much more stronger than me and as well i most of the tiem have my 2 year old daughter with me i would fear for her safety x
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Woodrow
04-27-2011, 12:37 AM
I have found that most people are more curious than hateful. Yes, there are hateful people, but they tend to hate everybody. We all run the risk of hatred in anything we do, we can only trust in Allaah(swt) to protect us.
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