Friendship of the opposite gender in Islam

[muslimah2010]

Salam!

I have an odd question. I have become very close to a muslim brother. We have started using niknames which were initiated by him. Names include honey, sweetie, cutie, and darling. Is there anything wrong with this.

Please help!!!

New sister in Islam...

[Perseveranze]

One thing will lead to another, it's fact. Islam really wants to protect you against commiting sin, so in your situation you should stop doing what your doing with that guy (unless you decide to get married ofcourse).

[Ar-RaYYan]

Salam!

I have an odd question. I have become very close to a muslim brother. We have started using niknames which were initiated by him. Names include honey, sweetie, cutie, and darling. Is there anything wrong with this.

Please help!!!

New sister in Islam...

:sl: sis,

Islamically speaking its not appropriate to be close to (non- mahram) opposite genders or form friendship with them. In fact its better to avoid having some kind of friendship with them full stop. As the brother above said it can lead to another thing which can then lead to sinful things.
I also think its not appropriate for this brother to use those endearments and you should be firm and honest with him and tell him to call you by your name.

[Ghazalah]

Wslm...

You both might think being 'friends' is something innocent and nothing bad will come of it. But the beautiful thing about Islam is if something is made haraam, like fornication, then Allah SWT forbids all the steps which lead to this act making it easier for us not to commit it. Think about that for a moment.

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[Haya emaan]

walaikum assalam

when a woman and a man(non-mehram) are there the third one between them is shaytan... leading them from small innocent steps towards big one..

[Tyrion]

We have started using niknames which were initiated by him. Names include honey, sweetie, cutie, and darling. Is there anything wrong with this

I'm not going to say anything about the rights and wrongs of interacting with the opposite gender, but about those nicknames.... Uhmm... Isn't it obvious that they are inappropriate? Those are nicknames used by couples... He obviously has some sort of interest in you, romantically... Perhaps he even thinks you're in a relationship :p Generally when a guy gets really close to a girl as friends, it means he's interested...

[Ummshareef]

:wa: sister,

Firstly, a big warm welcome to Islam!

Now to your question. One of the key things that differentiates Islam from other religions is that mixing between the genders outside the bond of marriage is strictly forbidden. This is for good reason - it is very evident in western societies that innocent relationships can lead to very harmful situations where pregancies take place outside of marriage and that sort of thing. Subhanallah. To give you an idea of how serious this matter is viewed, in Islamic countries will be arrested if caught alone with an unrelated man and will face punishment - even in moderate countries like Malaysia, you can be caned for khalwat (close proxity with the opposite gender). So sister, you must stop your relationship with this man - he is clearly after only one thing. If you wish to get married then find a suitable partner (one that follows the Deen) through Islamic means - and remember that dating is forbidden and that Allah subhana wa ta'alaa sees everything.

[muslimah2010]

Thank you all for your replys.

I think that there is more to this that just friendship...Now he is insisting that I am like a sister to him. He says he wants me to move to his country with him (central Asia) and live with his family as a sibling. He told me that I would not have to work anymore and that I would not have to worry about going out alone as someone would always be with me from his family. He also told me that if I comes there he wants me to go with his mother and meet a girl whom he might marry. Then he says to me that he wants to have me forever with him...How can he marry a girl and still have his so called sister (me) with him?? Are there muslim guys that actully think they can adopt another muslim sister as a real sister?? I am so confused. Yet I really feel good when we are talking together, I am starting to become afraid of this relationship...Am I over reacting??

[Tyrion]

I hope this is a joke thread...

If its not, just know that it isn't normal, and this guy sounds like he's really just interested in you... (and a little creepy too.) Get away from him and cut everything off before it goes any further.

[muslimah2010]

No, this is no joke....
I should have known better to be more careful however after converting to Islam I became alone and just wanted to mke some new Islamic friends..
Thank you for your kindness and stay blessed.

[Riana17]

No, this is no joke....
I should have known better to be more careful however after converting to Islam I became alone and just wanted to mke some new Islamic friends..
Thank you for your kindness and stay blessed.

SALAM sis
If I am on your shoes, I will do everything to stay away from him, blv that we have written fate. If you are meant for each other, time will come you will be together inshallah
also, I advise you stick in this site, it will increase our Iman inshallah

[Alpha Dude]

It does sound creepy. You should definitely stay away from him.

[Futuwwa]

Thank you all for your replys.

I think that there is more to this that just friendship...Now he is insisting that I am like a sister to him. He says he wants me to move to his country with him (central Asia) and live with his family as a sibling. He told me that I would not have to work anymore and that I would not have to worry about going out alone as someone would always be with me from his family. He also told me that if I comes there he wants me to go with his mother and meet a girl whom he might marry. Then he says to me that he wants to have me forever with him...How can he marry a girl and still have his so called sister (me) with him?? Are there muslim guys that actully think they can adopt another muslim sister as a real sister?? I am so confused. Yet I really feel good when we are talking together, I am starting to become afraid of this relationship...Am I over reacting??

That's a pretty big red flag there. You are definitely not overreacting. What he suggests cannot possibly be halal (and I say that as a guy who thinks many Islamic communities take gender segregation to absurd lengths). For him to want you to move in together with him, but not marry you, that's pretty worrisome. I suspect he wants you, but something keeps him from making a marriage proposal. Maybe he's insecure. Maybe he is promised to someone else, or his family insists on some other match. In any case, my advice to you is to call him on his intentions, insist that he tells you right away what he's really after, what he feels for you. Tell him that his suggestion makes you uneasy, and that he better get completely transparent or you'll have to distance yourself from him.

[muslimah2010]

Futuwwa...

The relationship seems to be getting closer. We are using Skype these days and I have met his mother as well as his siblings through skype. I have asked him if he knows who he is going to marry. He replied with "Do you know?" So I said to him that I think I know but I am not sure. So he says "wait until you come here and then I will tell you". I really do like him. I am having a hard time turning from him. I do want to be nearer to him. His mother even wants me to move there as well. I just want to know if he really does want me. But he does seem shy about telling me. I will have to wait and see. I just do not want to wait too long because I would like to have a husband within the next year.

[Salahudeen]

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Futuwwa...

The relationship seems to be getting closer. We are using Skype these days and I have met his mother as well as his siblings through skype. I have asked him if he knows who he is going to marry. He replied with "Do you know?" So I said to him that I think I know but I am not sure. So he says "wait until you come here and then I will tell you". I really do like him. I am having a hard time turning from him. I do want to be nearer to him. His mother even wants me to move there as well. I just want to know if he really does want me. But he does seem shy about telling me. I will have to wait and see. I just do not want to wait too long because I would like to have a husband within the next year.

Assalaamu Alaaykum uktee..

If you want to get married to him then ask your parents to get in contact with him and his parents insha'Allaah

if you want barakah in your marriage then do not speak to him thinking its okay to before, if your not intending for marriage then like already mentioned stay away from him..

Also be aware that it is easy to just 'like' anyone like that, because as recorded in hadeeth 'man and women are never alone except shaytaan is the third amongst them', he is suppose to be your enemy not your friend, so its easy to like someone just because they're being nice to you on some chat messenger (as from my understanding of your posts you havent met each other as hes from some other country) but in real they may be not so 'nice' you will be spending a life together you have to be aware of the individual, how he is, his deen, does he fear Allaah? etc etc..

become aware dear sister, begin to fear Allaah and think about your other duties in life towards your creator

I hope i havent sounded harsh please forgive if so..

[Alpha Dude]

Futuwwa...

The relationship seems to be getting closer. We are using Skype these days and I have met his mother as well as his siblings through skype. I have asked him if he knows who he is going to marry. He replied with "Do you know?" So I said to him that I think I know but I am not sure. So he says "wait until you come here and then I will tell you". I really do like him. I am having a hard time turning from him. I do want to be nearer to him. His mother even wants me to move there as well. I just want to know if he really does want me. But he does seem shy about telling me. I will have to wait and see. I just do not want to wait too long because I would like to have a husband within the next year.

I think you should be careful. Going over to another country for a random guy doesn't sound so safe.

[Innocent Soul]

Sister please say us anything about what is happening now.

You have only two simple options.

If you want to get married to him then ask your parents to get in contact with him and his parents insha'Allaah

become aware dear sister, begin to fear Allaah and think about your other duties in life towards your creator

Leave him and focus on other things and try to get to married to a muslim brother as soon as possible if you are feeling alone.

[Salahudeen]

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...ml#post1444338

[al yunan]

Whoever is killed under a blind banner, calling for Asabiyyah, or supporting Asabiyyah, he dies a Jahiliyah (disbelief time) death."

Do you ever read your own signature ?

[GuestFellow]

Salam!

I have an odd question. I have become very close to a muslim brother. We have started using niknames which were initiated by him. Names include honey, sweetie, cutie, and darling. Is there anything wrong with this.

Salaam,

That is disturbing. There is something wrong here. Those names are inappropriate.

Thank you all for your replys.

I think that there is more to this that just friendship...Now he is insisting that I am like a sister to him. He says he wants me to move to his country with him (central Asia) and live with his family as a sibling. He told me that I would not have to work anymore and that I would not have to worry about going out alone as someone would always be with me from his family. He also told me that if I comes there he wants me to go with his mother and meet a girl whom he might marry. Then he says to me that he wants to have me forever with him...How can he marry a girl and still have his so called sister (me) with him?? Are there muslim guys that actully think they can adopt another muslim sister as a real sister?? I am so confused. Yet I really feel good when we are talking together, I am starting to become afraid of this relationship...Am I over reacting??

Stay away from him. He could be dangerous. O_____________O

It is as simple as that.

[Salahudeen]

Do you ever read your own signature ?

All the time, when have I ever called for asabiyah? There's a difference between desiring someone who speaks a common language and thinking your nation is better than another, which I am free from alhamdulilah.

[Futuwwa]

As far as I see it, the only possible redeeming feature about him would be if he actually wants to marry you. However, if he does, he certainly seems to have some pretty serious issues. The fact that he can't bring himself to propose to you directly and be upfront about his intentions does raise the question, is he ready for marriage to begin with? I doubt it.

[loving_quran]

The video says it all.

[Salahudeen]

The video says it all.

Sadly emotions and feelings blind people, so they can't see it so clearly .