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MoeeTee
06-09-2011, 05:33 PM
Salamalakoom.


My name is Mohannad T. I am 21years old. I live in Brooklyn, New York. Please consider helping/reading this, I cannot go to my local Imam, due to embarrassment, and they have relations with the people around me, who if will find out, would perhaps ruin my reputation, please.



I am going through a tough time now where every aspect in my life is going downhill and contemplating the doubt of God's existence. I have been depressed for days, empty, neglected, no real friends to talk to, or parents that would actually recognize the value of my depression. I really don't know what to do, and the fact of doubting God's existence is making me more depressed than ever before. I lost my job, I failed my class, I have no friends, my bosses will not pay me for my last work. I am going to get my license revoked, I'm financially depressed. There are alot of meaningful events and things with clear and pure intentions I have done for my family and myself and I feel like, God's if there is one, neglected/rejected my attempt to purify myself and do good deeds, and I feel like God spat on my face.


I have 8 people in my household. I have two sisters, who were being very sneaky to me, by her hiding in the bathroom before passing by me to change clothing, because she knew I didn't like it. And I toild my father and she told them no school. Than after a few days since she is graduating, he allowed them and now my sister fixed her way of dressing. But I have yet to speak to them directly.


I have an older brother, which I don't speak to, which I have more hate for him than my boss; and I hate my boss purely. My older brother is useless, selfish, arrogant. He does not work, he is never going to finish class and he lacks value and principle. He hangs around with his friends, he doesn't put in no effort in looking for a job, he is overweight, he likes to live poorly. He sleeps, eat and goes out. He is just a rock, he does not support me or my father financially. He is sneaky, a liar and a coward. He doesn't see the tears I shed or the situations or stress nor the pressure I am in just to make a dollar or the anything else besides work. What I am worrying about i.e bills, the kids, money etc etc. HE SHOULD be worrying about, what I have interest in, HE SHOULD have interest in, I drive every morning 7am to drive to send all 4 of the kids to school and my father to work. and make it back in time before class starts. And I come home at 11pm and barely sleep. I leave the house, I see him sleeping, I come back at the end of the day..I seem him sleeping/or arriving from his friends. If I had his support in all aspects, depression would've never existed nor would I be writing on here. since he is not doing what he is suppose to be doing, I have to carry it and carry the weight on my shoulders, because who will? It makes me sad and makes me tear at times.



My father is old, and takes the train to another borough in NY to work 8am-8pm everyday. With a infectious foot, it looks all burnt and thick and vieny, and makes me sad he has to go through that, because of brother not helping.


I had this girl whom I been friends with for many years we were best-friends, and after a lecture of some sort she heard and she quickly as a scholar the scholar told, she said it is a sin to have a relationship with her opposite gender, and slowly stopped talking to me. I mean this girl, I adore as a friend level. Because when she needed advice or something I was there and I gave her advice that clearly gave her clearer vision. If Allah knows my intention and our relationship as she is good company, as someone should surround themselves, why is it harram? We barely see each other, we just talk instant messaging. We talk about Islam, social life, school, work, advice...nothing beyond that. She was my only friend, and now she changed, which is really not surprising.



The things that are and fell apart...

- My jewish, lying, self centered boss, cut off our salary due to insufficient funds and not enough business generating. Which is a complete lie. HE is a pig, a scum, he is caught in lying, he is a greedy, selfish person. I wish he would be trapped in a cabinet with a small air-hole, dugged in a desert, I wish nothing but death for him. He yells at me, threatens me, is the cause of my financial depression. I decided to quit BUT after I get my last two checks, When I asked it, he made an excuse that someone has beeen attempting to take out money out of their business account, and had to freeze the accounts for a few days, He wanted me to get another client, and pay me for my old clients, than **** and delay my pay for the new client. He does that to every past client...


- After my eye surgery, I came in 2 weeks late of school, I did the makeups everything required, and the prof. gave me a complete F.


- I have court in August 26th and I am assuming they are going to suspend my license because a year ago, in the depression of my ex-love It was 7am and I drove past an old couple going 10mph and the cop caught me.


- I am technically jobless it is hard to find a job now, whilst I am taking courses this summer. And hate the fact my dad is working in his condition and my brother is DOING ****ING NOTHING.


I have been praying every Friday and reading the Quran. I been being superman all this time.. worrying about the bills, helping my dad stay on track, send the kids, pick them up, maintain school, and work, I did the vacation for them, I have plans for my family, I worry about stuff that should happen when it won't. i am trying to find a second job when my first one was active, to try and make my families life easier... I don't understand. I give charity, I pray every friday, I do alot of good things for my self and my family. Yes I did some sins and mistakes in the past, like everyone...

One example I did as an act of an event, was I made a surprise vacation for my parents which they never been to vacation in 40years to south cancun, all paid for. It took me 2months, blood, sweat and tears to get the money with my stealing, greedy boss. They were on vac for 1 week, and a surprise dinner, and a surprise watch.


I don't understand why everything is slowly falling apart to me and I'm considering just leaving my family and living on my own, I need help, why do I doubt God's existence? Why is everything I prayed for happening the opposite? Do I deserve this? If there was a God why is He allowing this to happen? Why does he want me to contemplate his existence? How am I going to pray to God now, if I am having confusion in his existence? Why is everything I am doing, slowly fading away? Maybe I need guidance and direction with answers to my thoughts, this really really is a bad stage in my life and it's getting worse every-time, what am I missing? Is what I am doing for the sake of god, family and myself insufficient? Do I deserve this? Is this a punishment? Where is God to help me? Who is God's creator? Why arent we allowed to question his existence? Why does God want us to believe in him? Why can't he give us proof to make everyone believe in God? Why are their atheist? If Allah knows everything whats the point of our existence even with free will? After everything falling apart, I been watching debates between a Muslim and an Atheist and it got to me, that even more depressed that there might be no god.


Why is this happening to me? and Why am I doubting his existence? How can I believe? Am what I am doing not enough? Is it? If so? why is this happening to me? I am looking for DIRECT answers not indirect answers (i.e Allah is Oft-Forgiving, He is Great, bla bla bla) I need real answers, please I am getting more depressed every morning I wake up, like I should just stop and do nothing, since its pointless on what I been striving to do.
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tigerkhan
06-10-2011, 04:48 AM
there is no shame in learning knowledge and seeking guidance from learned ones. so brother i suggest u should visit some pious and knowledgeable scholar/imam and discuss ur problems. i am hopeful u will find some solution insh.
for what i can suggest with my limited understanding,
1. incerse ur iman. read quran, the message from Allah SWT. its is necessary bcz what u had confusion about him, He has answer in his book, u need to read it rather making ur own proposition about him.
2. if u can marry, dont delay it.
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Karl
06-10-2011, 05:21 AM
Get out of the place, get away you are burning out, you must leave the situation. Go to another town and get yourelf together. See a doctor about the depression, you are also stressed out. Look after yourself. Seek peace.
Reply

Asiyah3
06-10-2011, 05:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
I have been praying every Friday
I pray every friday,
A Muslim must pray five times a day.
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Pure Purple
06-10-2011, 06:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
Why is this happening to me? and Why am I doubting his existence? How can I believe? Am what I am doing not enough? Is it? If so? why is this happening to me? I am looking for DIRECT answers not indirect answer
My English is very weak you might not be able to understand I am trying my level best.

If your Dua ,prayer dose not work out your problems of this world,dose not mean god dose not exist.For time being you see your problem,but Allah subhana talah knows better than us.He may sort out your problems after wards and give what you have not even think of.If you do not get here in this world,Hereafter Definitely (100%)you will get sawab of that and that time you might be thankful that you are getting sawab of that now . Allah subhan talah sometimes test followers ,Because when we are in trouble than our faith ,Iman is checked.
Pray tahajjud prayer and ask allah talah to sort your problems soon.
Reply

Ğħαrєєвαħ
06-10-2011, 06:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
Salamalakoom.


My name is Mohannad T. I am 21years old. I live in Brooklyn, New York. Please consider helping/reading this, I cannot go to my local Imam, due to embarrassment, and they have relations with the people around me, who if will find out, would perhaps ruin my reputation, please.
Wa Alaaykum As'salaam brother

I will try answer your quesitons to the best of my knowledge

format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
I am going through a tough time now where every aspect in my life is going downhill and contemplating the doubt of God's existence. I have been depressed for days, empty, neglected, no real friends to talk to, or parents that would actually recognize the value of my depression. I really don't know what to do, and the fact of doubting God's existence is making me more depressed than ever before. I lost my job, I failed my class, I have no friends, my bosses will not pay me for my last work. I am going to get my license revoked, I'm financially depressed. There are alot of meaningful events and things with clear and pure intentions I have done for my family and myself and I feel like, God's if there is one, neglected/rejected my attempt to purify myself and do good deeds, and I feel like God spat on my face.
Are you aware that God tests everyone in their life? Depression will occur, but this should not take you away from believing God exists..When there is faith/emaan it will only take you closer to your lord..

If you feel you are putting the effort in and pleasing Allaah at the same time then at the end you say "and i feel like God spat on my face", do you think what the boss does is Gods fault? no infact it is his and not Gods, what if God sends these times of hardship upon you for a reason? lets say to make you stronger and patient individual and prepares you to be a better and good mannered individual? do you realise these are qualities of a believer? If Allaah sends hardship on us, it is for a reason we need to wake up and realise this life isnt Jannah but dunya. we wont get what we want but rather what we need. Allaah is your lord and most wise.

Have you remembered God in the time of hardship? have you asked for his help?

Allaah says : "Therefore remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me." [Al Qur'aan 2:152]


format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
I have an older brother, which I don't speak to, which I have more hate for him than my boss; and I hate my boss purely. My older brother is useless, selfish, arrogant. He does not work, he is never going to finish class and he lacks value and principle. He hangs around with his friends, he doesn't put in no effort in looking for a job, he is overweight, he likes to live poorly. He sleeps, eat and goes out. He is just a rock, he does not support me or my father financially. He is sneaky, a liar and a coward. He doesn't see the tears I shed or the situations or stress nor the pressure I am in just to make a dollar or the anything else besides work. What I am worrying about i.e bills, the kids, money etc etc. HE SHOULD be worrying about, what I have interest in, HE SHOULD have interest in, I drive every morning 7am to drive to send all 4 of the kids to school and my father to work. and make it back in time before class starts. And I come home at 11pm and barely sleep. I leave the house, I see him sleeping, I come back at the end of the day..I seem him sleeping/or arriving from his friends. If I had his support in all aspects, depression would've never existed nor would I be writing on here. since he is not doing what he is suppose to be doing, I have to carry it and carry the weight on my shoulders, because who will? It makes me sad and makes me tear at times.
Do you think by having hate for your bro will solve anything? and speaking words of hate about him behind his back will gain you benefit or solve the issue? maybe you should speak to your bro about this in person? try reasoning with him but in a polite kind way..
because that may be a step for him knowing what is going on his family, how hard you work, and the support you need. You should realise that he is only harming himself, example is being overweight can lead to death at times..He needs to be told and not critisized behind his back, rather given advice and spoken to so that he does realise that he is only harming himself so be patient, patience is the answer and actually helping him..insha'Allaah

format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
My father is old, and takes the train to another borough in NY to work 8am-8pm everyday. With a infectious foot, it looks all burnt and thick and vieny, and makes me sad he has to go through that, because of brother not helping.
This isnt Gods fault, rather your father is old and he is having to work with an infectious foot, he needs support. Allaah SWT is most mercyful, he gave you parents, they took care of you in your times of need, where you couldnt walk, talk etc..he Allaah swt wants you to take care of them in their times of hardship..It seems you need to advice your bro by speaking to him, he is your brother and so speak to him and you yourself do as much as you are able to..if you feel helpful remember Allaah is there, not on a certain day or time, but all the time, every day, hour sec..call upon him but with sincerety, supplicate..

format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
I had this girl whom I been friends with for many years we were best-friends, and after a lecture of some sort she heard and she quickly as a scholar the scholar told, she said it is a sin to have a relationship with her opposite gender, and slowly stopped talking to me. I mean this girl, I adore as a friend level. Because when she needed advice or something I was there and I gave her advice that clearly gave her clearer vision. If Allah knows my intention and our relationship as she is good company, as someone should surround themselves, why is it harram? We barely see each other, we just talk instant messaging. We talk about Islam, social life, school, work, advice...nothing beyond that. She was my only friend, and now she changed, which is really not surprising.
The scholar is correct, it not permissable for a man and women to be alone together as shaytaan is the third as narrated in hadeeth..
Whether it be about Islaam, dont let this false temptations take you away from the remembrance of Allaah, especially when Islaam forbids one from doing such an act, dont fool yourself as shaytaan is indeed an enemy of the believer.
Allaah says in his noble book :
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.)…" (An-Nur 24:31)

Though if you are interested in marriage you may ask for her hand in marriage insha'Allaah but in the Islamic way, she shouldnt be alone, her mahram should be involved..


format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
The things that are and fell apart...

- My jewish, lying, self centered boss, cut off our salary due to insufficient funds and not enough business generating. Which is a complete lie. HE is a pig, a scum, he is caught in lying, he is a greedy, selfish person. I wish he would be trapped in a cabinet with a small air-hole, dugged in a desert, I wish nothing but death for him. He yells at me, threatens me, is the cause of my financial depression. I decided to quit BUT after I get my last two checks, When I asked it, he made an excuse that someone has beeen attempting to take out money out of their business account, and had to freeze the accounts for a few days, He wanted me to get another client, and pay me for my old clients, than **** and delay my pay for the new client. He does that to every past client....
Firstly, it is a good way to give dawah to your boss, also it is best not to crititize him,it is more wise to speak to him instead of speaking about him behind his back, if he insult, do not insult back be respectful as it increases hate and anger for the other which doesnt help at all ..

format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
- I am technically jobless it is hard to find a job now, whilst I am taking courses this summer. And hate the fact my dad is working in his condition and my brother is DOING ****ING NOTHING.

"The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allah, that you may receive mercy.O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimun (wrong-doers, etc.)." [Al Qur'aan 49:10-11]

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: "The Prophet never used bad language neither a 'Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say 'The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.' (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)"


format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
I have been praying every Friday and reading the Quran. I been being superman all this time.. worrying about the bills, helping my dad stay on track, send the kids, pick them up, maintain school, and work, I did the vacation for them, I have plans for my family, I worry about stuff that should happen when it won't. i am trying to find a second job when my first one was active, to try and make my families life easier... I don't understand. I give charity, I pray every friday, I do alot of good things for my self and my family. Yes I did some sins and mistakes in the past, like everyone...
As mentioned by sister Asiyah, salaah is daily total of 5 times everyday..if you feel you are superman, then continue to have patience.

You can continue to give charity, pray everyday, etc doesnt mean your not going to die..but you have to realise these are deeds which will benefit you in the hereafter.. And trust me you would rather bare the pain in this life for the sake of the next..

I advice you to read up on the stories of the prophets of God, the hardships they had they never gave up..what makes you a loser is giving up..By having hate for the other is you making things hard for you, Allaah is making it easy for you, by this i mean to say, when times are hard do not get angry, be patient have trust in Allaah that what hardship you went through is good for you whether it be the hereafter..

format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
One example I did as an act of an event, was I made a surprise vacation for my parents which they never been to vacation in 40years to south cancun, all paid for. It took me 2months, blood, sweat and tears to get the money with my stealing, greedy boss. They were on vac for 1 week, and a surprise dinner, and a surprise watch.
format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
I don't understand why everything is slowly falling apart to me and I'm considering just leaving my family and living on my own, I need help, why do I doubt God's existence? Why is everything I prayed for happening the opposite? Do I deserve this? If there was a God why is He allowing this to happen? Why does he want me to contemplate his existence? How am I going to pray to God now, if I am having confusion in his existence? Why is everything I am doing, slowly fading away? Maybe I need guidance and direction with answers to my thoughts, this really really is a bad stage in my life and it's getting worse every-time, what am I missing? Is what I am doing for the sake of god, family and myself insufficient? Do I deserve this? Is this a punishment? Where is God to help me? Who is God's creator? Why arent we allowed to question his existence? Why does God want us to believe in him? Why can't he give us proof to make everyone believe in God? Why are their atheist? If Allah knows everything whats the point of our existence even with free will? After everything falling apart, I been watching debates between a Muslim and an Atheist and it got to me, that even more depressed that there might be no god.
Do not leave your family, i believe from the understanding of your post, they need you definetly, if you give up on them it will only get worse for them and so you need them..I dont see the reason to doubt God's existence, be sincere in what you do, be mindful of what you say.. If you dont get what you want, remember Allaah knos best, he knows best if this is good for you or not, and so he will grant you with what you need instead.. we humans have not always been wise in making decisions by ourselve, believe me..

There is definetly a God, whatever he is allowing is for a reason..From it we sometimes gain things such as patience, strengh to deal with things in life and all that best for us.. But remember he gave us free will, free will is what we attempt to do by following our desires realising we just want it, but not caring if its good us or not, it may well bad for us. so we stay away from what he forbade us and do that which he commanded us, because there is no harm in what he commanded us and no benefit in what he forbade us.

Continue to ask for his help and if you have any complaint, complain to Allaah, i remember hearing in a lecture once that Allaah loves when his servants nag him.. like a human would get angry when you would nag him constantly about wanting somethimg, but Allaah loves this.. I believe you need a boost of increase in emaan, that should help you look at life positively insha'Allaah..

Allaah says he created us for a reason, the reason he mentioned in his noble book : "And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone)."[Al Qur'aan 51:56]

For the sake of Ibaadah, Ibadaah consists of many ways not just salaah, but being kind, caring of parents, helping out etc but for the sake of Allaah.
format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
Why is this happening to me? and Why am I doubting his existence? How can I believe? Am what I am doing not enough? Is it? If so? why is this happening to me? I am looking for DIRECT answers not indirect answers (i.e Allah is Oft-Forgiving, He is Great, bla bla bla) I need real answers, please I am getting more depressed every morning I wake up, like I should just stop and do nothing, since its pointless on what I been striving to do.
It is not pointless, your existence is not pointless. You are striving to please Allaah in every way possible.

Supplicate and call upon your lord for he hears all your prayers..

I hope i havent offended you in any way or havent made sense in some parts of my post, i hope it helped a little bit insha'Allaah..

You are my Du'aas and do not give up, may Allaah SWT ease your situation and grant you happiness in both this life and the hereafter Aameen

Also i hope these vid's helps insha'Allaah






.. peace ..
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
06-10-2011, 06:43 PM
double post........................
Reply

PiousGirl_86
06-10-2011, 08:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Pєαяℓ σf Wιѕ∂σм

Wa Alaaykum As'salaam brother

I will try answer your quesitons to the best of my knowledge



Are you aware that God tests everyone in their life? Depression will occur, but this should not take you away from believing God exists..When there is faith/emaan it will only take you closer to your lord..

If you feel you are putting the effort in and pleasing Allaah at the same time then at the end you say "and i feel like God spat on my face", do you think what the boss does is Gods fault? no infact it is his and not Gods, what if God sends these times of hardship upon you for a reason? lets say to make you stronger and patient individual and prepares you to be a better and good mannered individual? do you realise these are qualities of a believer? If Allaah sends hardship on us, it is for a reason we need to wake up and realise this life isnt Jannah but dunya. we wont get what we want but rather what we need. Allaah is your lord and most wise.

Have you remembered God in the time of hardship? have you asked for his help?

Allaah says : "Therefore remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me." [Al Qur'aan 2:152]




Do you think by having hate for your bro will solve anything? and speaking words of hate about him behind his back will gain you benefit or solve the issue? maybe you should speak to your bro about this in person? try reasoning with him but in a polite kind way..
because that may be a step for him knowing what is going on his family, how hard you work, and the support you need. You should realise that he is only harming himself, example is being overweight can lead to death at times..He needs to be told and not critisized behind his back, rather given advice and spoken to so that he does realise that he is only harming himself so be patient, patience is the answer and actually helping him..insha'Allaah



This isnt Gods fault, rather your father is old and he is having to work with an infectious foot, he needs support. Allaah SWT is most mercyful, he gave you parents, they took care of you in your times of need, where you couldnt walk, talk etc..he Allaah swt wants you to take care of them in their times of hardship..It seems you need to advice your bro by speaking to him, he is your brother and so speak to him and you yourself do as much as you are able to..if you feel helpful remember Allaah is there, not on a certain day or time, but all the time, every day, hour sec..call upon him but with sincerety, supplicate..



The scholar is correct, it not permissable for a man and women to be alone together as shaytaan is the third as narrated in hadeeth..
Whether it be about Islaam, dont let this false temptations take you away from the remembrance of Allaah, especially when Islaam forbids one from doing such an act, dont fool yourself as shaytaan is indeed an enemy of the believer.
Allaah says in his noble book :
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.)…" (An-Nur 24:31)

Though if you are interested in marriage you may ask for her hand in marriage insha'Allaah but in the Islamic way, she shouldnt be alone, her mahram should be involved..




Firstly, it is a good way to give dawah to your boss, also it is best not to crititize him,it is more wise to speak to him instead of speaking about him behind his back, if he insult, do not insult back be respectful as it increases hate and anger for the other which doesnt help at all ..




"The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allah, that you may receive mercy.O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimun (wrong-doers, etc.)." [Al Qur'aan 49:10-11]

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: "The Prophet never used bad language neither a 'Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say 'The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.' (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)"




As mentioned by sister Asiyah, salaah is daily total of 5 times everyday..if you feel you are superman, then continue to have patience.

You can continue to give charity, pray everyday, etc doesnt mean your not going to die..but you have to realise these are deeds which will benefit you in the hereafter.. And trust me you would rather bare the pain in this life for the sake of the next..

I advice you to read up on the stories of the prophets of God, the hardships they had they never gave up..what makes you a loser is giving up..By having hate for the other is you making things hard for you, Allaah is making it easy for you, by this i mean to say, when times are hard do not get angry, be patient have trust in Allaah that what hardship you went through is good for you whether it be the hereafter..





Do not leave your family, i believe from the understanding of your post, they need you definetly, if you give up on them it will only get worse for them and so you need them..I dont see the reason to doubt God's existence, be sincere in what you do, be mindful of what you say.. If you dont get what you want, remember Allaah knos best, he knows best if this is good for you or not, and so he will grant you with what you need instead.. we humans have not always been wise in making decisions by ourselve, believe me..

There is definetly a God, whatever he is allowing is for a reason..From it we sometimes gain things such as patience, strengh to deal with things in life and all that best for us.. But remember he gave us free will, free will is what we attempt to do by following our desires realising we just want it, but not caring if its good us or not, it may well bad for us. so we stay away from what he forbade us and do that which he commanded us, because there is no harm in what he commanded us and no benefit in what he forbade us.

Continue to ask for his help and if you have any complaint, complain to Allaah, i remember hearing in a lecture once that Allaah loves when his servants nag him.. like a human would get angry when you would nag him constantly about wanting somethimg, but Allaah loves this.. I believe you need a boost of increase in emaan, that should help you look at life positively insha'Allaah..

Allaah says he created us for a reason, the reason he mentioned in his noble book : "And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone)."[Al Qur'aan 51:56]

For the sake of Ibaadah, Ibadaah consists of many ways not just salaah, but being kind, caring of parents, helping out etc but for the sake of Allaah.


It is not pointless, your existence is not pointless. You are striving to please Allaah in every way possible.

Supplicate and call upon your lord for he hears all your prayers..

I hope i havent offended you in any way or havent made sense in some parts of my post, i hope it helped a little bit insha'Allaah..

You are my Du'aas and do not give up, may Allaah SWT ease your situation and grant you happiness in both this life and the hereafter Aameen

Also i hope these vid's helps insha'Allaah

.. peace ..
Assalaamu Alaykum Brother,

Brother, i believe the two previous sisters have advised you very well on how to approach the various matters in your post. I also advise you make lots of d'ua and make sure you do all your prayers and give to charity and fast etc. Please do not see this as a burden. Do all these in pure sincerity and wholeheartedly. It is not quantity but the quality of your prayers and fast etc. In addition, as sister Khan Rahila has said, do your tahajjud prayers. I must tell you do not lose hope and faith in Allah. You need to put your full trust in Allah.

I know my situation is not the same as yours, but i need to tell you that for the past 3 years of my life i have had one bad thing after the another happen to me in my life that i have never imagined would happen to me. I always think to myself i have never planned for my life to be this way and you know what no one ever does. I lost my job through recession, I suffered the lost of a family member, then i had my marriage breakdown whilst i was pregnant due to my ex husband being very abusive towards me. Now my mother is very ill whilst my father could face losing his job, plus more. We have had one hit after the other. But do you know what, as depressing it is sounds and i will admit i have been sad and low at times, i even cry, i just have to lower myself and surrender and pray to Allah (swt). I feel He is the only one to help me in these times. No one in this world can help you, to help yourself you must sincerely turn yourself and surrender to Allah (swt). I have come to realise that Allah is testing every single one of us. I personally find that he tests the best of us in order for Him to test our patience and make you stronger, ultimately bringing you closer to Him. Please do not think Allah has forsaken you. He has most certainly not. Do you recall the Prophet Ayub (as), Him having been tested by Allah by having everything taken away from him, his children, his wealth and property and his health? Do you remember he increased his faith every step of the way? He always remembered Allah, he knew Allah was testing him and He was still listening to his prayers, he was always patient. Allah can take these material things away in your life, but he will always bless you with something better, more beneficial. Allah always knows what is best for us.

I know you are feeling very upset, stressed and depressed over your situation. Sister Pearl of Wisdom has given you some very good advice. I do not think i can add anything more to it as she has mentioned what i was going to say. I think it is good you have come on here for help, you should never feel ashamed. It is good to talk these problems out. I know how it is for people to judge and put you down. But i want you to know that it is not a shameful situation.

Never lose hope and faith in Allah (swt). I will make dua for you and i pray Allah (swt) makes your situation easy, Inshallah.
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Ali_008
06-12-2011, 03:34 AM
Walekumassalaam brother
It is not unusual to come across difficulties in life. You can't start doubting Allah's existence (nauzbillah) as a result of it. If it wasn't God, who else guided you to come to this forum and seek answers? If it wasn't God, who else has imbibed this care and sympathy towards your father in you? Allah tests all of us, some more fiercely than others. Allah says in the Qur'an "no burden do We place on any soul, but that which it can bear" [7:42]. He knows you can face and overcome it which is why you are going through all this. It is easy to believe in God during happy times but the real test of iman is when a person devotes him/herself to pleasing and worshiping Allah even at turbulence. It is during such hardships when our iman starts to tumble and for shaytaan its open season to misguide us and fill our hearts with his whispers. It should be in your power to be able to control your nafs. Blindly following every thought that comes to your head will only lead to confusion and frustration. You must sieve all your thoughts through a righteousness net and see what is best for you (for both this life and the hereafter). And you've mentioned that you pray on Fridays. People who pray all 5 times everyday also suffer from problems so in your case, it could well be a punishment for not praying the other 6 days of the week. Others above, as well, have given you some great advice, follow it and stop doubting Allah's existence. He DOES EXIST and He is absolutely AWESOME.

format_quote Originally Posted by MoeeTee
I don't understand why everything is slowly falling apart to me and I'm considering just leaving my family and living on my own, I need help, why do I doubt God's existence?
It is shaytaan who is trying to pass these thoughts on to you that God does not exist and you are very gullibly falling in his trap. Shut those thoughts down.

Why is everything I prayed for happening the opposite?
You don't always get what you pray for. According to a Hadith, when a person prays one of the 3 things happen:
1. The prayer is accepted.
2. An obstacle equal in magnitude as the prayer is removed from the worshiper's way.
3. If either of the above 2 don't happen then it is saved for compensation in the hereafter.

Do I deserve this?
Nobody can say whether you deserve it or not, it is only Allah who can judge his servants.

If there was a God why is He allowing this to happen?
To test you. He tested his beloved messengers and prophets with a lot harsher methods.

Why does he want me to contemplate his existence?
Allah says in the Qur'an "And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone)."[51:56]

How am I going to pray to God now, if I am having confusion in his existence?
You are gonna convert this confusion to a concrete belief that He does not exist (nauzbillah) if you stop praying and you can't blame anyone for that.

Why is everything I am doing, slowly fading away? Maybe I need guidance and direction with answers to my thoughts, this really really is a bad stage in my life and it's getting worse every-time, what am I missing?
Faith. Have faith in his mercy. Allah says in the Qur'an "verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief" [94:5,6]. He mentions it twice only to emphasize that surely there is light at the end of darkness.

Is what I am doing for the sake of god, family and myself insufficient?
Maybe, we have no idea how much effort you are putting into finding a credible job and helping your family.

Is this a punishment?
From my own personal experiences, I have seen troublesome times even when I'm upright righteous. But I've also seen outright ambushes aimed at me only when I was starting to divert out of the way. If you neglect your duties towards Allah, you get punished in this world as well. I wouldn't answer that question more than that. I don't want to doubt your faith or deeds, brother. :)

Where is God to help me?
Allah is closest to the servant who calls upon him. He is listening to your prayers and will inshAllah answer them soon.

Who is God's creator?
None. He created everything, He wasn't created. Allah says in the Qur'an: "He begetteth not, nor is He begotten. And there is none like unto Him." [114:3,4].

It was narrated in a Hadeeth by Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be with him, said:

‘Some people will keep asking questions until they ask: ‘Allah created the creation but who created Allah?’ Whoever is asked this question, let him (simply) say ‘I believe in Allah’.’ (Narrated by Muslim)

Why arent we allowed to question his existence?
Because in Islam, not believing in Him is the biggest sin. You can very well ask people questions and clear your doubts but at the end of the day, it is totally up on you whether you believe or not.

Why does God want us to believe in him?
The sister already quoted the verse above from Surah Dhariyat (Surah 51) to answer that question for you.

Why can't he give us proof to make everyone believe in God?
He has given plenty of proofs. The perfect cycle in which the sun and moon execute their functions is one giant proof. Just think about it, such giant bodies doing some random stuff on their own and creating LIFE. How can anyone find that logical? There has to be a great super power behind all this to create life.

Why are their atheist?
Misuse of the limited freewill allotted to every human.

If Allah knows everything whats the point of our existence even with free will?
He knows His creation well and knows how they will stand in front of obstacles. He has not destined for them to do sins and wrong stuff, He just knows how his creation will face each hardship. Just like how a teacher knows which of his/her students will perform best in an exam.

After everything falling apart, I been watching debates between a Muslim and an Atheist and it got to me, that even more depressed that there might be no god.
They are never gonna end and rather the answers of Muslims should strengthen your iman.

And about the financial side, if you have some special talent then offer freelance services with it. You keep all the profits in freelancing and your pay is directly proportional to the work you do.

Wassalaamualaikum
Reply

DippedinJannah
06-21-2011, 07:37 AM
Google for Hassan Elwan's "Why Bad Things Happen to Good People". It is a lecture about 1 hour long and is fantastic. I can't post a link yet because I don't have enough posts, but if you google for that you'll find it.
Reply

tw009
06-21-2011, 04:36 PM
^Here it is, hope it will be of help. InshAllah.

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldv...o-good-people/
Reply

Perseveranze
06-21-2011, 05:10 PM
Asalaamu Alaikum,

Put yourself in the shoes of the people mentioned in the text below and reflect upon it.

"Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said: 'When (will come) the help of Allah?' Yes! Certainly, the help of Allah is near!" [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 214]

Your asking when God will help you from your misery and yet we know that even messengers of God asked the same questions (their situation, their trials and hardships were far greater then yours could ever be), yet we know in the end Allah(swt) did help, He did protect them and He did Guide them.

I think this is a time for you to be strong brother, if you can only get through this, to keep strong to your faith, then believe me, Inshallah you'll see it was worth it all.
Reply

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