Tutor issues???? Need help!

[Xander]

Hey, I am signed up to study chemistry for summer school. It starts on Monday. I made an arrangement with my tutor, who I once loved, to aid me with chemistry and help me understand what chemistry works. She said okay, I will meet up with you on 7 July 2011 at 2:30 PM (14:30) at the main public library.

Then I asked her two or three times if she understood the concepts of it. (I asked this so I can understand it and get good marks). She never answered the question, she either ignored it or dodged it with "I hope so, I got A + in chem and organic chem" and when I asked her again (last time asking) if she understood it by saying I want to understand why it works. I don't want to memorize how to the questions like our teacher did. She responded "Then maybe I'm not the person to help you". I replied claiming are you kidding me? You claim to have good marks in it but you do not understand why it works. Then she told me to f*** off and claimed she does not want to do it again.

I know this girl comes from an extremely rich family and does not need the money. The past love experiences between us both is suppose to be dead between us. However, I fear this is negative past experiences coming back, which is why after two months of claiming she wanted to do it refused to do it four days before the class started.

My question is what should I do? I have another tutor, however, he is extremely hard to get a hold of and I doubt he will ever meet up with me? I was thinking calling her and explaining what I meant and why I want understanding. Furthermore, since this was all through text messaging I believe the "Are you kidding me?" statement angered her.

[Alpha Dude]

The are you kidding me does sound smug.

If you think she can help you, then ask otherwise go for the other tutor. What's the big deal?

Also, if she does say yes, it's better if you let her teach you whichever way she knows how, without finding fault in her methods. If you can't appreciate that, then it really is better if you go with someone else.

[Xander]

So you thinking call her up tomorrow and attempting to explain over the phone, so she can hear my voice, will be best? I think this fight happened because of the way she read it. I don't think she understand what I meant about the words I wrote to her.

[Alpha Dude]

Yeah go for it. I don't see why not.

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[Dagless]

There are no shortage of tutors. Get yourself a new one. I don't care what you said to her, someone in her position should not be saying "f*** off".

The are you kidding me does sound smug.

Perhaps you could also recommend an English tutor for brother Alpha? ;)

[Alpha Dude]

There are no shortage of tutors. Get yourself a new one. I don't care what you said to her, someone in her position should not be saying "f*** off".

He did mention they had a thing between them, by which we can assume their relationship became more informal. Although on second thought, I agree with what you say.

[Dagless]

He did mention they had a thing between them, by which we can assume their relationship became more informal. Although on second thought, I agree with what you say.

I thought it was just the usual being in love with your tutor thing, but I reread and see you're right... that would lead to informality. I agree with your agreement of what I say.

[Xander]

I thought it was just the usual being in love with your tutor thing, but I reread and see you're right... that would lead to informality. I agree with your agreement of what I say.

What gives you the idea that I am in love with her? I used to love her back in 2006 and she used to, according to her, had intense romantic interest with me back then there as well. I thought that may be the reason why she was easily angered. Furthermore, in the entire city, I cannot get a reliable tutor. I posted seven request on a local website and no callers. My 'friend' claims he will do it, but he does not reply back to when I call or text. I feel she is only hope for aid and I believe she will use everything in her power to rip me off for more money.

[Yanal]

:sl:

In my opinion,the best option would be to leave her as she is and find yourself another tutor,insha'Allaah.

[Kitsune92]

In my opinion,the best option would be to leave her as she is and find yourself another tutor,insha'Allaah.

Agreed. I don't believe romantic feelings ever truly leave... Not completely anyway. It might be safer for you to just find someone else. :)

[SFatima]

Knowing girls, I dont think its a good idea for you to get tution from her, 'cause even at this time she and you, both seem to have not matured enough to really put it all behind and be normal to each other, no matter how any of you might not even be interested in going ahead personally, they way she has reacted means that she is not completely comfortable with the way you spoke to her and despite her having the intent of teaching you, you spoilt her teaching spirit.

Also, you cant expect somebody to teach you well, if you as a student are not used to showing some respect that a teacher requires/demand. Tutors always look forward to teach respectful students, and it isnt a great idea, if in mid conversation their previous feelings creep in to destroy the respect equation. If you genuinely do seek to be only tutored, you will have to respect her feelings and her way of teaching, and for that you should apolojize first to her if anything you said had upset her, genuinely ( you should be able to, if you have no feelings for her , but respect ). And then show a genuine interest in being tutored by her ( if you are emailing her), by promising to hold and maintain a respectful approach.

If she does not accept your offer, you can also ask her to help you find a chemistry tutor who is good enough( that way she'll be sure that you really are only interested in being tutored). Good luck.

[birkah]

I think tutors are a huge waste of time. There are plenty of resources available for studying online. Youtube Khan academy, free-lance teach, academic earth, screencasts. If you are having trouble with a concept, type it in youtube. However, if you do need a tutor, then it should be to help you with homework etc. Don't use the tutor to teach you the concepts, since you can do that easily at home, and some of the best teachers are online, and you can also repeat stuff. Try to study with you friends -- those who are serious -- and get help from you teacher as well. Since you mentioned Organic Chemistry, Im guessing you might be in university. For this use TAs, Profs office hours... but the best resource for Organic IMO is free-lance teach and Organic Chemistry as a Second Language by David Klein.

[SyrianFellow]

Just google a tutor in your area, and even better, craigslist.ca can help you.

[Abz2000]

if i once had "intense romantic interest" towards a strange woman and she had "intense romantic interest" in me, i would be cautious of going to the library with her as i would fear that i'd be paying less and less attention to what's above the table.................................especially with an upcoming exam.

[syed1]

I agree with the other brothers on there that TUTORS ARE A WASTE OF TIME.. There are so many efforts and initiatives being taken to make learning as easy, accessible and affordable as possible....

Please don't resort to your ex- lover from 2006 ... hmm so now its 2011.. Are you in grade 12? if so, then that would put your romantic love relationship with this girl during middle school or grade 6? that's funny... I didn't even know you could love at that age...lol

but point is..please don't result to a tutor.. costs money and time.. use KHAN academy as the other brother posted and you will do fine...

if you must get one.. then get one.. I don't know where you are location wise but around here there are plenty of readily available tutors.