My son wishes to change his name to a muslim name, advice?

[Nizam1]

For those of you who may not have come across me before, I reverted to Islam with my wife and family last year. My sons are all now being raised as muslims.

My two eldest boys, who are teenagers, will be attending an Islamic school from the start of the next academic year in September. They have been in agreement with this, and we want them to have as much of a good Islamic education as is possible.

However, I found out today that my eldest son is worried about starting his new school because he is worried he won't fit in. His concerns are that he won't fit in because he's white (whereas almost all the school is not), because he is a revert (whereas it's doubtful there are many other revert boys there) and because he doesn't have an Islamic name (whereas the other boys will). For that reason, he wants to change his name.

Up until now I have been opposed to doing that, because I didn't feel it was necessary, and because it is a huge change; possibly the biggest one he has yet had to make since reverting to Islam. But it broke my heart to hear him say he was worried about not fitting in. I tried to reassure him, but I don't think I was too successful.

So I'm looking for any advice you can give me, if you would be so kind.

My son's name is Jamie, so, is there any Islamic equivalent or something similar? If not, what would you recommend? Any opinion or suggestion would be a huge help. Maybe then we can take things one step at a time and see how things go.

Thanks for reading.

[Nizam1]

By the time this got approved this is well on its way to a resolution.

My son is presently deciding between Jamal and Jameel/Jamil. Though, who knows, that could all change tomorrow.

[Just_A_Girl13]

Asaalamu alaikum,

Glad to hear it :) I hope your son likes his new school, insha'Allah.

Peace and blessings be with you (and your family)

[MustafaMc]

Brother, this is a big decision. How old is your son? I legally changed my name to Mustafa at the age of 44 because I wanted to be known as a Muslim and as a 'no-turning-back-now' commitment to Islam. I personally would advise your son to not hastily change his name so he will hopefully fit in at his new school. Can't he pick a Muslim name and go by that at school and at home without legally doing so?

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[Kas1m]

Walaikum Assalam

Jameel is a nice name. I think it is a good idea and you are changing it at the right time (just before they are starting the islamic school) because once started and he has registered in the school with Jamie and all in the paperwork, it would be difficult to manage so change it before and start it with a fresh muslim name.

May Allah help you in every step of your life. Ameen.

[Nizam1]

I realise it is a big decision, but it is something he wants to do and he is sincere about it. It's difficult to know what to do. I am a cautious person and I don't like to rush difficult decisions, so I am in large agreement with you there, but as I said, it is something he really wants to do. I think he could choose a new name and have it as a "known" name instead of a legal name, but I know that won't go down well with him. I am a bit suck on this one, I must say. I an happy for him to choose a new name, but like you, I'd like to be absolutely sure it's something he won't later regret.

[Nizam1]

Again, I also sympathise with your view. It would make things easier now than later, and in many ways I think that's probably his motivation.

I forgot to mention to MustafaMc that my son is 15. I also have another son who will be starting the same school at the same time as him and he is 13. However, he has not asked to change his name (Jason) and I haven't raised the issue with him. I don't want to force the issue, or make them feel as if they have to do so. It has to be their own choice in their own time, but ultimately, I have to support them either way.

I should say that my two eldest sons are absolutely committed to Islam - there is no doubt about that. They both chose to revert, have learned about Islam, learned to pray, pray as required, observe what they are supposed to, have made lots of muslim friends, identify as muslims, wear topees so they can be identified as a muslim when out and about (including at their present school) and they also willingly underwent circumcision last year. All of this they have done themselves - we have encouraged them - but not forced them. So, they have both made some major decisions already, although I know this is probably the biggest decision as it is a legal issue. I'm under no illusions that it is a big decision.

Any advice or suggestions are always gratefully received.

[MustafaMc]

Brother, I am glad that my message was received in the manner it was intended - as friendly advice. I suggest that you advise your son of the possible positive and the negative results of his decision. It sounds to me as though you have wonderful children which I believe is at least in part a reflection of you as a parent. I am exceedingly happy for you in the choice you have made and that your family also sees the truth of Islam. May Allah swt preserve this precious faith in all of you and have you to grow in faith and practice of our beloved deen.

[aadil77]

He shouldn't have to change his name because of fear of racist/ignorant muslim kids, but he should change his name to be known as a muslim

[Nizam1]

He has chosen to be known as Jameel. I very much like that name and it is sensible.

As for legally changing it, that is something we'll have to discuss a lot more. But Jameel is a very nice muslim name and it suits him.

[Nizam1]

Brother, I am glad that my message was received in the manner it was intended - as friendly advice. I suggest that you advise your son of the possible positive and the negative results of his decision. It sounds to me as though you have wonderful children which I believe is at least in part a reflection of you as a parent. I am exceedingly happy for you in the choice you have made and that your family also sees the truth of Islam. May Allah swt preserve this precious faith in all of you and have you to grow in faith and practice of our beloved deen.

Thankyou Brother.

In your experience what would you say were the positives and negatives?

Allah (SWT) has truly blessed me with wonderful children. I am very proud of them all, my eldest two especially. They've changed so much in their lives in a short time and they've done it all of their own choice. They haven't moaned or groaned about any of it, they've just got on and done it. I am a lucky man.

[MustafaMc]

Positive
1. I now have one of the best names in the world
2. I am known as a Muslim immediately upon meeting someone new
3. It was a point of personal commitment to Islam
4. Perceived acceptance by Muslims that I am sincere
5. No problem in getting a hajj visa

Negative
1. The hassle of legally changing my name
2. It seems to be a point of embarrassment or alienation for my family as they still call me by my birth name even after 7 years (my wife and I are the only Muslims in our entire families)
3. I liked my old name and it was a part of my 'personal identity'
4. Potential for not being considered for a job
5. Potential for being profiled as a possible terrorist

[إحسان]

Salam!

About your son and his worries about his new Islamic school. I wouldn't worry much if I were you or him. As a born and raised Muslim girl (I'm only 16) so I could possibly relate to your son's age, most people are intrigued by those who convert to Islam. And much interested in their 'story of conversion' lol. Hopefully inshAllah he'll have a warm welcoming to the school. And Jameel is a lovely name! MashAllah! May Allah give you and your family happiness, and great health! Ameen.

- Dua

[Abz2000]

dunno about "muslim name" as a name is a name as long as it isn't laced with ignorance or idolatry,

here are some examples of people who kept their "non-muslim" names:

1. Muhammad
2. Abu Bakr
3. Ali
4. Uthman
5. Khadijah
6. Hamzah
7. Khalid

Arabic names - yes
pre-Islamic names - yes
Islamic names - yes

Suhaib -ar - Rumi (A Roman!)

some of them had to change their names because they were called "servant of such-and-such idol"

but if he's fixed on it, i'd say Jamil is a nice name - it means beautiful.

i personally like it when i hear a Muslim with his european or american or indian or chinese name - as it shows the reach of Islam and makes me puff up with with happiness. and doesn't enforce the stereotypes as being foreign or tied to a certain land or culture.

but if he want's to do it to distance himself from the baggage of Jahilliyyah and familiarity with being connected to it - then YES, IMHO it's recommended.

peace

[Futuwwa]

I would seriously advise against it. If he does it just out of conformism rather than actual conviction, he's essentially giving up his identity to fit in. Something he may very well come to regret later.

The whole practice of changing name on conversion bothers me. Islam is universalistic and not supposed to assign special status to any culture. The moment your sons said the shahada, Jamie and Jason became Islamic names. The end.

I was at one point tempted to change name simply out of conformist pressure too, but then I realized that if I do, I'll just become part of the problem.