The English version of my Arabic story

[Muhaba]

Due to popular demand, I am posting this. It is the english version of my Arabic story and is actually the original, since I wrote it first and then the arabic. however it's probably not so good since i was only trying to put down my thoughts when writing it. It may be slightly different from the arabic since i edited that after writing it but didn't make any changes in the english version.


July 24, 2009 To Be Free (or liberated)
Free

Dina sat on her bed pondering over the day's events. Why had her life become this way? How many men's hearts was she going to break? Not that it was her fault; it just happened that way. everywhere she went, head's turned, men became impressed with her, and if she stayed too long, they were head over heels in love with her. but she was only a fleeting thing. she would disappear from their lives in a little while while their hearts broke.

Now in her final year of college, she was thinking over Samir, how he had bared his feelings, telling her he wanted to marry her, wanted to be close to her, asking her to spend time with him, and on and on and on. every single day.

But she hadn't said anything. She just ignored him, was it the right thing to do or should she have said it wasn't possible.
.
But why should she have said that, she wondered? She didn't know what the future held, who knows she might end up marrying him after all if it was in her fate, she thought as her cell phone rang. She checked the number, then answered.

You should have told me you were planning to keep me waiting here again! her freind Huda exclaimed.

oh umm, Dina said lookin at the clock.
.
you forgot again didn't you. I should’ve known. Whatever is on your mind, exams finished long ago.

i'll be there in 5 minutes, Dina answered, pushing her hair to a side and pulling on a headband to keep her hair out of her eyes ,she grabbed her bag and rushed out. the drive to the mall would take only a little over 15 minutes, but she loved the wind blowing over her face. it helped her forget her worries.

once seated at the restaurant across from Huda, Dina started telling her about her worries.

"Oh my, " Huda said, "i've seen how Samir stares after you. it's like he's mad about you."

What am i to do, Dina asked, it's not just him. that guy who works in the library always stares at me so longingly, even kauther noticed it.

Have you considered wearing hijab? Huda asked. I hear it makes guys stay away.


Dina looked over huda's really short head scarf. what difference would it make to cover her hair?
.
"I really couldn't, not right now anyway. Dina shook her head. I don't think i could find a job and i really need that internship i've applied for."

But a headscarf won't make much of a difference, Huda said.


Dina shrugged. I don't know, it seems so bizarre to me. covering the hair, noone in my family does it.

it might keep the guys from staring / from bothering you?



Dina thought over what Huda had said, but couldn’t get herself to take such a big step. She’d have to change her form of dress as well, wear loose, flowing dresses and shirts. It was too big a change, what would her family say? Finally she said, I wonder if it will, ppl say it's my eyes. Dina shrugged. don't know what they see in them, they seem so plain to me.

then how about some sunglasses, i saw some designer ones.

Dina considered that, well i could give it a try. she said.


So after eating lunch, the two of them went and bought some designer sunglasses.

***
the next day, at college

Dina your glasses are so beautiful. they really make you stand out from the crowd. Samir exclaimed.

Dina walked past him without even looking, not that he'd know she wasn't looking.
.

all day, in class she only thought about that, would a head scarf make a difference? she couldn't even consider the rest of hijab as none of her family would accept it. they were all so free, they only wore it for prayer.

But as she walked out of campus, as she heard a few guys whistling after her, her mind was made up. She was sick of it and she would try whatever in her power to give them the message that she didn't appreciate the unwanted attention, whichever way she could. So on the way home, before she could change her mind, she stopped over at the scarf shop and bought a few; not one, but several, so she wouldn't be able to stop herself from wearing it because of all the money she spent on them. they were just head scarves but with some loose plain dresses (like Huda’s?) they would be okay for now. it would be one step at a time. when she got back into the car, she quickly opened the bag and put on one of the scarves. then went home. luckily no one was there, so she didn't have to face her family yet. what would her sisters say when they saw her wearing it the next day? they were all younger than her, and she wanted to be a good example for them. she didn;t want them to go through the same treatment as herself. would they follow her footsteps and start wearing hijab as well or would they mock her and try to change her mind? oh well time would tell, but she felt an inner peace she hadn't felt in a long time. and she prayed samir and the others would get the message: that she was a hijabi and should be treated with respect.

the next day at breakfast her parents and sisters asked about her scarf. are you going to collge like that? asked her mom.

looks nice doesn't it, Dina replied, it's the latest fad! she had thought about that reply all night and hoped it worked.


is it, her sister Alia asked, i haven't seen many.

You should see the latest magaizne, Rania was wearing it in the show.

oh yea, she was & it looked so pretty, but it was just for the role. Alia replied

well, everyone wants to be like her, Dina gave her younger sister a smile.

im going to get one too, the jade one just like her. can you take me to the mall. Said her youngest sister.


of course, Dina gave her a hug "After school insha-Allah" and then grabbed her bag and started for college. I hope it goes well. she thought.


i always wondered how you’d look in hijab, samir remarked as she made her way to class. Is this a permanent change or just a trend? *** will you get a job wearing that. he didn't seem to be too happy about the thought/ prospect.

Lifetime change insha-Allah, replied Dina.

How will you get work?

Dina shrugged. The rest of the day things went well. A few ppl asked her about her headscarf but it was just a scarf and quite few wore it in her class so she didn't get that much attention / didn't make that much of a commotion. On the way out, she was glad that while she got quite a few stares, noone whistled or commented after her. Even Samir didn't bother her, although he did seem to be thinking.

i really like that, Huda said. it looks good on you too.


Thanks, Dina answered. it makes me feel like a new person. i feel like a free person now, not some item in a showcase.


In the coming days she saw that guys really did stay clear of her and treated her with more respect. Additionally she learnt from some of the other hijabis in school that the company she had applied to didn’t mind women wearing hijab, so this wouldn’t affect her career either. She considered the rest of the hijab / jilbab but decided this was ok for now. she would do this one step at a time. Insha – Allah when college finished, she would start wearing the abaya/mantoo as well.