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syed1
11-19-2011, 11:59 PM
okay.. So you know how they say that if you hang with bad company you will become like them or be influenced by them etc....

Well that is precisely my case, because I have a group of friends from child hood whom I have grown up with and hang with them a lot I became like them as well ( or they became like me)

The problem is now that I am trying to become a better Muslim, I don't find it right or don't feel in the right place when I am hanging around with these guys because their mentality of having a good time involves, smoking drinking partying / women etc.

I was once like them too and so at that time I didn't mind but now I can't even imagine my self being in those types of situations...

as a result I have been slowly distancing my self from these guys, ( don't get me wrong I still love them as my brothers ) but I just refrain from going out with them when ever they call...

I guess my problem now is that I don't really have any friends any more...

I find my self at home most weekends not doing much, usually on this forum or watching videos/debates and listening to the quran but after all that I just find my self a little lonely?


so ... wana be my friend?
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SyrianFellow
11-20-2011, 12:18 AM
Honestly, I was in the same situation as you. My best friends from school always liked to party and whatnot and I started to stop hanging out with them and my excuse for not going to their parties would be that I had basketball practice and so on. I then started to go to the masjid more often, and that's where I found many people who had similarities with me.

I would advise you to go and find real muslim friends who encourage you to pray and practice your religion. Try to visit the local mosque more often as you may find many of them there. As said, most importantly, make du'a and ask Allah to help you and guide you.

And Allah know best.
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syed1
11-20-2011, 12:37 AM
Thanks for your advice..

you know lately I have been finding my self at the mosque more often than before and I have been meaning to start meeting new muslim brothers...

I don't know what it is .. I use to be so social and talkative an fun to be around but lately I find that I have become very socially awkward and I kind of just sit in my own little corner and do my own thing.. even at the masjid..

Inshallah it will change soon
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SyrianFellow
11-20-2011, 01:39 AM
No problem,

Once you find a good group and continue to visit the masjid inshallah you'll be more social and talkative. There was a saying once, I forgot where I heard it from but it was a hadith and it was somewhere along the lines of "If Allah likes you, then he will make everyone around you like you."

Stay positive and look on the bright side of this decision of yours. :)

And Allah knows best.
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Abdul-Raouf
11-20-2011, 02:21 AM
It happens bro... It happened to me as well... Things were different in the past...but In the last 2-3 yrs...Allah has blessed me with many muslim bros who are friends...some are below my age.. some are more than 10 yrs older than me.....All from my Mohalla..met them at my masjid.. thy had relocated to my mohalla.. ...

Alhamdulillah..whenever we meet we talk about deen... sometime we drive out to beach/shopping/restaurants.... when i am with them.. we always have the prayer time in our mind.

Masjid is the koolest place... ask Allah for friends.. you will find them there... and the best thing about them is that.. when they give you a ring and ask you "how are you?" .. you will 100% feel that they are asking from their heart...InshaAllah.. you will soon get close friends in your masjid.. will dua for that..:)
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IslamicRevival
11-20-2011, 02:48 AM
I know where youre coming from, i used to hang around with people who were..lets say bad influences but thankfully i managed to break free from the crowd. I do socialize with the odd friend now and then..but most of the time, i just do my own thing.

Am I lonely? Yes but honestly..i prefer it this way
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syed1
11-20-2011, 05:00 AM
Yeah I don't mind being lonely most of the time . but sometimes it gets really depressing, especially when I am at home alone and my family is out doing whatever..


I use to have a girl friend and she was my company a lot of the times for example, texting, and it kept my day going...

lately when I'm alone it gets worse cause i look at my phone no msgs, and no one to communicate to except on here on these forums which is my only type of communication I get now..

Sorry im just ranting on... to be honest I am getting use to it an beginning to like it this way when I consider it in light of the "bigger picture​" it makes me feel better...
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GuestFellow
11-20-2011, 12:10 PM
Sure, I'll be your friend.
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Asiyah3
11-20-2011, 12:28 PM
Loneliness can be a trial from Allah. Please stay patient and make du'aa. Fa Iinna ma'al usri yusraa, inna ma'al usri yusraa.

May Allah grant you patience and tawakkul.
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Ghazalah
11-20-2011, 12:56 PM
When you have no one, you have Allah swt. When you feel lonely, pray 2 rakats and see how you feel afterwards.

As others have stated, masjid is the best place to find pious friends inshAllah.
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Beardo
11-20-2011, 02:42 PM
Remember this: loneliness and solitude are two different things.

I have also been through the same situation and now, I just keep on good relations with everyone but I don't necessarily bond with everyone like a best friend. Does it ever itch when I see everyone else hanging in pairs? Of course. But I always remember the first sentence of this post and remind myself that I'm not lonely. :)

And besides, on IB, we're one big, happy, virtual family. Alhamdulillah. :)
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ardianto
11-20-2011, 03:19 PM
Originally Posted by syed1
so ... wana be my friend?
In the real world, when I talked about winter, I said "according to my friend who lives in America.....". Friend who I meant is uncle Woodrow. And when I gave an advice I said "this is an Islamic advice from my friend who lives in London". That is brother Hamza.

You wanna be my friend ?. ... You have become my friend. Everyone in this forum is my friend. :)


One thing that makes me happy in my life is easiness to get friends, although I am not talkative person. Even like I've written in another thread, actually I am a stutterer.

I have many friends in the real world, from many circle of socialization. Sometime it made people around me were amazed because someone who they knew recognized me.

And I never differentiate my friends by their social status. I always greet pedicab driver same like I greet rich businessman.

We don't need to be talkative person if we want to get friends. I am not a talkative person. I don't know what must I say if I must give speech. But we need to able to introduce ourselves to someone, and we need able to speak some basic speaking words to start a chatting like "where are you come from ?" or "sunny day, isn't it ?"
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YusufNoor
11-20-2011, 04:40 PM
Originally Posted by syed1
okay.. So you know how they say that if you hang with bad company you will become like them or be influenced by them etc....

Well that is precisely my case, because I have a group of friends from child hood whom I have grown up with and hang with them a lot I became like them as well ( or they became like me)

The problem is now that I am trying to become a better Muslim, I don't find it right or don't feel in the right place when I am hanging around with these guys because their mentality of having a good time involves, smoking drinking partying / women etc.

I was once like them too and so at that time I didn't mind but now I can't even imagine my self being in those types of situations...

as a result I have been slowly distancing my self from these guys, ( don't get me wrong I still love them as my brothers ) but I just refrain from going out with them when ever they call...

I guess my problem now is that I don't really have any friends any more...

I find my self at home most weekends not doing much, usually on this forum or watching videos/debates and listening to the quran but after all that I just find my self a little lonely?


so ... wana be my friend?
:sl:

bored, eh? challenge yourself! see how many times you can make it to all 5 prayers at the Masjid on the weekends. check the Masjid sked for lectures, check 'em out. if you hear of any Salat-l-Janazah, go to it as well. try this for a while and In Sha'a Allah, you find yourself among most excellent company. making friends should be easy as pie!

wa Salaam
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syed1
11-20-2011, 05:12 PM
Originally Posted by Tragic Typos
Sure, I'll be your friend.
nice =) +1 ! lol
Originally Posted by Asiyah3
Loneliness can be a trial from Allah. Please stay patient and make du'aa. Fa Iinna ma'al usri yusraa, inna ma'al usri yusraa.


May Allah grant you patience and
hm thats for the dua. can you translate it please?

Originally Posted by Beardo
And besides, on IB, we're one big, happy, virtual family. Alhamdulillah.
yes that we are! I am very glad I joined.
Originally Posted by YusufNoor
see how many times you can make it to all 5 prayers at the Masjid on the weekends.
Honestly, I think about going the masjid everyday for salat, Usually I am unable to when I am at home because I do not have my own car but Inshalllah when I do I will make it for every salat possible!
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Ghazalah
11-20-2011, 05:23 PM
Originally Posted by syed1
hm thats for the dua. can you translate it please?
They're ayahs from surat al-Sharh.


For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.







Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

(94:5-6)
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