Help, I have no friends

[highway_trekker]

[syilla]

Subhanallah i love this video thank you for sharing :)

[$tr@wB3rRy]

Shaykh Shinqitee is the top shaykh masha'Allaah, may Allaah ta'ala preserve him, ameen

Jazaakillaah khyran for sharing, ukhtee

[syed1]

I have no friends. Every where I go it seems like people come in my life and they eventually leave so now I've learned that no good thing lasts and I never get attached to anyone emotionally. My own father won't speak to me. it aches me inside. I don't know what to do. It feel like everywhere I go I am being reject, from job interviews from forums like this one whom won't even give me access to the brother section. It is quite unfortunate. But I'm use to it so it doesn't phase me.

This was a good video, but to be honest although everything he said was absolutely true there are times when people need a human connection, a shoulder to cry on or some one to talk to. Last night I wept, silently. I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm 20 years old male and I'm trying my best to adhere to my faith after living a foul lifestyle for so long. I go to the mosque frequently now, and I remember Allah constantly. I try to keep a smile on my face, as the prophet would and I try to follow his sunnah as much as I can. but I realized I am very fragile and could literally break any moment..

I don't know what going to happen to me. I don't know what my purpose in life is (in terms of career etc). TBH I wish I'd die a peaceful death, with a smile on my face and the shahada on my tongue and just rest in my grave till the day of qiymah. Obviously I have no idea if I have been forgiven or not so I hope that Allah will have mercy on me. I still fear death because I don't know what will happen but I guess all we can do is hope and fear.

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[syed1]

double posted.

[Abz2000]

May Allah reward you brother, i am downloading this to watch on the phone when i have a bad day or feel down,
will listen to it on the train and when resting, and i dont think i'll get tired of it til i've memorized it

[Sothis Girl]

I have no friends too since I was grad school. My fiance said I'm more "stone-hearted" now that what I used to be because it;s been quite long time I don't make friends like I used to in undergraduate. I've tried to talk to my classmates, but they are not for me. We have too different "vibrations". :hmm: I spend my hours alone in the bedroom dorm, with my dolls, diary, e-books, and computer. I know I'm very friendly person, but I'm too shy to initiate conversation, and hence prefer to stay in the background.

Being friendless sucks. In the beginning you can lie to yourself "it's okay, I'm okay, I can still live". But as time goes by, you will realize that something in your heart is missing and there's a big hole in it. That is when you realize you're actually very lonely and need someone to share your happiness and pain to. Someone to share a part of your life - other than spouse. My fiance is the only person I've ever talked heart-to-heart to for this recent 2 years.

[abdullah_001]

:sl:

No ya akhi, certain things you only realize when you go through certain situations. And Wallahi, listening to the Sheik speak the hair on my skin stood up. What he spoke was the truth and the fruits of imaan are only experienced by those who have faith in Allah (swt). And remember this life is nothing but trials and tribulations, and remember that the Prophet (saws) said that this world is a prison for the believer and paradise for the disbeliever. Remember we are human beings and our cause is noble -- and while many people may have numerous friends if they had no faith they would feel empty even if they were surrounded by the entire world as their family. Peace only comes from remembering Allah (swt). And lastly, remember that no matter what trials you go through, Prophet Muhammad (saws) went through much worse, peace be upon him.

Like the sheikh said, Whatever you do for the sake of Allah (swt), Allah (swt) will reward you for it in this life AND the next one, inshaAllah.

:sl:

[real islam]

Do you need friends really?If than why?
Please try to find out one friend who can
help you when you are wrong.In your right
time everyone can except your friendship.
But when you are in wrong to them they will
deny you.But i would always try to be with my
well wishers.Thanks for the post.Please
communicate

[Periwinkle18]

SubhanAllah gr8 video jazakAllah for sharing, i always wanted frnds who were religious neva had those type of frnds buh alhumdulillah now i know i don't need anyone Allah is there for me :) i do think at times tht im alone i just hav to remember tht im not, i do hav some one who i could talk to :)

jazakAllah for the amazing reminder

[Who Am I?]

Friends?

Bah, who needs them?

I never had many friends and I turned out OK...

.. with my neckbeard, my Legos, my dogs, my computer games, and surrounded by various Star Wars and Star Trek figurines...

They're not dolls, they're action figures!!

[Periwinkle18]

Friends?

Bah, who needs them?

I never had many friends and I turned out OK...

.. with my neckbeard, my Legos, my dogs, my computer games, and surrounded by various Star Wars and Star Trek figurines...

They're not dolls, they're action figures!!

lol they're dolls :p

[GodIsAll]

Friends?

Bah, who needs them?

I never had many friends and I turned out OK...

.. with my neckbeard, my Legos, my dogs, my computer games, and surrounded by various Star Wars and Star Trek figurines...

They're not dolls, they're action figures!!

That's about the 10th time "Who Am I?" has made me laugh out loud! Thank you!

I hereby nominate (pardon the democratic process in me) "Who Am I" as the funniest Muslim in the world.

[Who Am I?]

lol they're dolls :p

They're not....

(ok, maybe they are dolls)

... but they're not mine, I swear!

Oh, and GodIsAll, I appreciate the nomination, but I am not seeking office this term.

I just want to live and laugh, man... live and laugh...

[GodIsAll]

I just want to live and laugh, man... live and laugh...

Shouldn't we all, my friend? Shouldn't we all?

The world would be such a better place!

[Abz2000]

it's nice to have good friends, believers who you will die for and who would die for you, when you'd never betray each other.
seems those types of friends only come by Allah's grace,
I come across many other types but never answer the phone after getting wrong vibes.
better we promote Islam then we'll have good friends to support each other.
a true friend can be useful, you can always call each other and get each other to do things,
can you pick this up for me, wot area r u in? this shop doesn't accept cards over the phone, can you pop into the shop around the corner from you put a deposit on this for me before someone else takes it?
can you pick my son up, i just got nicked, can u hide this quickly! :p

still, those ones only come from Allah, the others fall apart at the second instance if not at the first.
hey, we got 2 billion friends, thicker than family, just a matter of coming together.

[Who Am I?]

Shouldn't we all, my friend? Shouldn't we all?

The world would be such a better place!

I keep telling management at work this, but they keep telling me that I should be serious. But I fight the system!

it's nice to have good friends, believers who you will die for and who would die for you, when you'd never betray each other.
seems those types of friends only come by Allah's grace,
I come across many other types but never answer the phone after getting wrong vibes.
better we promote Islam then we'll have good friends to support each other.
a true friend can be useful, you can always call each other and get each other to do things,
can you pick this up for me, wot area r u in? this shop doesn't accept cards over the phone, can you pop into the shop around the corner from you put a deposit on this for me before someone else takes it?
can you pick my son up, i just got nicked, can u hide this quickly! :p

still, those ones only come from Allah, the others fall apart at the second instance if not at the first.
hey, we got 2 billion friends, thicker than family, just a matter of coming together.

Got a flat tire on the side of the highway? Need an emergency ticket from Siberia at 3 AM? Need an out to escape from an awkward social situation?

Better network...

[CosmicPathos]

I have no friends too since I was grad school. My fiance said I'm more "stone-hearted" now that what I used to be because it;s been quite long time I don't make friends like I used to in undergraduate. I've tried to talk to my classmates, but they are not for me. We have too different "vibrations". :hmm: I spend my hours alone in the bedroom dorm, with my dolls, diary, e-books, and computer. I know I'm very friendly person, but I'm too shy to initiate conversation, and hence prefer to stay in the background.

Being friendless sucks. In the beginning you can lie to yourself "it's okay, I'm okay, I can still live". But as time goes by, you will realize that something in your heart is missing and there's a big hole in it. That is when you realize you're actually very lonely and need someone to share your happiness and pain to. Someone to share a part of your life - other than spouse. My fiance is the only person I've ever talked heart-to-heart to for this recent 2 years.

Muslims are not supposed to talk to non-mehrams, which include "fiances."

Friends are useless. Waste of time.

[جوري]

Muslims are not supposed to talk to non-mehrams,

who says? Saiida Aisha (RA) used to teach grown Muslim men and from her we've many ahadiths as just one example.. we're not a segregated society.
Ask yourself if this is a rule you can honestly live with in your everyday life. Including those who teach you in medical school and those you're going to practice on!

Genuine friends aren't a waste of time. A few members on this forum have gotten me through some pretty difficult times and shouldered much of my misery as if it were happening to them. even a word of du3a is sufficient to lessen a hard blow.
Akhi, for your sake I hope you can be more trusting of this ummah and of the good in it..

:w:

[CosmicPathos]

who says? Saiida Aisha (RA) used to teach grown Muslim men and from her we've many ahadiths as just one example.. we're not a segregated society.
Ask yourself if this is a rule you can honestly live with in your everyday life. Including those who teach you in medical school and those you're going to practice on!

Genuine friends aren't a waste of time. A few members on this forum have gotten me through some pretty difficult times and shouldered much of my misery as if it were happening to them. even a word of du3a is sufficient to lessen a hard blow.
Akhi, for your sake I hope you can be more trusting of this ummah and of the good in it..

:w:

I meant talking "heart out" and other 1-on-1 close encounters. There is a huge difference between getting educated, which is totally valid and allowed as you pointed out with a beautiful example provided hijab is being observed by both men/women, and talking one's heart out sitting on a table face to face, eye to eye, hands in hands.

as for friends, it was Allah swt, that helped you. Friends come and go. Any person who is a Muslim would/should be able to benefit you, even if they are not friends, as Allah swt said that believers are brothers, so if a believer is not acting like one, you should wonder if they are believers in the first place.

Thanks for your suggestion, its hard to trust anyone in 21st century. I am sure you share this sentiment with me after what we witness in humanity, in hospitals, and elsewhere.

wsalam

[جوري]

as Allah swt said that believers are brothers.

Yup.. Even living with things that are seemingly difficult to get through are gotten through indeed by the grace of Allah through the brothers and sisters he puts in our path amongst other ways.

[Who Am I?]

:sl:

I used to be a lot like brother Cosmic, so I understand his concerns. I was hurt and betrayed in my past, and for a long time, I kept myself closed off to anyone else. It is still difficult for me to trust anyone, and the few friends I do have, I have through slowly letting my guard down and opening up to them.

I finally had to realize that I was going to be very lonely if I didn't learn to trust anyone, so I gradually had to open up to some people.

[CosmicPathos]

:sl:

I used to be a lot like brother Cosmic, so I understand his concerns. I was hurt and betrayed in my past, and for a long time, I kept myself closed off to anyone else. It is still difficult for me to trust anyone, and the few friends I do have, I have through slowly letting my guard down and opening up to them.

I finally had to realize that I was going to be very lonely if I didn't learn to trust anyone, so I gradually had to open up to some people.

wsalam,

I have not been personally hurt, as I dont let people reach that position in the first place.

But there is nothing wrong with being "lonely." One's only companion should be Allah, and then his parents and siblings. That is enough for a true social bonding. Of course, making professional contacts outside, but only to further your own professional life. If you want to do something for community, start by your close family, and then distant family, that would keep you busy for the most part.

[Periwinkle18]

still, those ones only come from Allah, the others fall apart at the second instance if not at the first

so true... i had frnds like those once many ov em, thought they would neva leave buh they just did they don't care, they thought i had changed just because i stopped living my life their way.

srsly those true frnds only come frm Allah...

[Bintulislam]

Assalamu Alaikum Sister Arachanide!

Hey! Will you befriend me in the virtual world? :) Are you a medic?

[ardianto]

One thing that I am very grateful for in life is I have a lot of friends. Although I am a quiet person who can not talk long, and in fact I am an introvert who sometimes want to have time to being alone.

Maybe because I am active in various activities that make a lot of meeting people. And if I meet someone new, I always take the initiative to introduce myself and start a conversation with a few brief words such "sunny day, isn't it?", or "do you live in...?".

Although I am a quiet person who can't talk long and do not have confidence to speak in front of public, I trained myself to build a relationship with other people.

When I was a little kid I was a shy boy, but my mommy always remind me, if I did not introduce myself when I meet new people, and if I did not talk with people who I know, people would mark me as arrogant person.

Alhamdulillah, that made me have many friends and made my life so colorful.

:)

[Rhubarb Tart]

But there is nothing wrong with being "lonely." One's only companion should be Allah, and then his parents and siblings.

:sl:I guess the prophet (SWT) and the companions were colleagues rather than friends?


Hence: maybe it is your attitude that alienates you from other people. Just a thought…

[ardianto]

Oranges, everyone?. It's Pakistani kinnow orange, fresh and delicious.


Yaah, this is a disadvantage of virtual world friendship. I cannot share my oranges, and we cannot feel something together. But virtual world friendship has it own advantage. No distance, I can have friends from various places in the world.

[Bintulislam]

Oranges, everyone?. It's Pakistani kinnow orange, fresh and delicious.


Yaah, this is a disadvantage of virtual world friendship. I cannot share my oranges, and we cannot feel something together. But virtual world friendship has it own advantage. No distance, I can have friends from various places in the world.

Well, true that. But the proper way of pronouncing Owange in Urdu would be Key-nu.

[Bintulislam]

:sl:

I used to be a lot like brother Cosmic, so I understand his concerns. I was hurt and betrayed in my past, and for a long time, I kept myself closed off to anyone else. It is still difficult for me to trust anyone, and the few friends I do have, I have through slowly letting my guard down and opening up to them.

I finally had to realize that I was going to be very lonely if I didn't learn to trust anyone, so I gradually had to open up to some people.

Know what Brother, I think as human beings we're all imperfect. And we're all alike. Yes, it is difficult to trust people after they've been trusted and proved themselves a fail. :P But sometimes it's us who fall short of others' expectations too. I have suffered from being weary of others too but I find it easy to forgive and also I now believe in an interesting philosophy suggested by a friend and that is 'I owe no one nothing'.

[Amat Allah]

and also none owe you a thing...with also this part ; you won`t suffer but will live your lives freely...

[real islam]

Amat Allah.
Thanks

[Amat Allah]

You are very truely so welcome O my respected and noble brother at any time; but humbly, why to thank me and for what? May Allah love you, Be pleased with ya and give ya the best always and forever Ameeen

[GodIsAll]

For the record:

I would be happy to befriend any reader. PM me if you need an open ear or would like to chat.

I will be here for you as best I can!

Peace

[Sunnie Ameena]

I am 52 years old, and have had a few really good friends in my life, but for whatever reasons, we have grown apart. It has been many years since I have had a really close friend. I always find that I am the one to always work harder to keep the relationship strong. So, after a while, I give up. I really don't look for friends outside of my family anymore, but who knows, maybe I will find one. Of course my wonderful husband is and has been my best friend since we got married.
I loved the video, and I thank you for sharing. And I am always here, in case someone needs someone to talk to. I may not have the answers you want, but I will always be here.
Sunnie Ameena

[786Kal]

This comment I wanted to address to so this girl and syed1.

Your comments are sad but don't give up. For every friend you don't have or for every hurt you suffer. Allah S.W.T.A is there. Watching, guiding and helping. I have no friends and I can honestly say I'm happy. And Ramadan is the best time to make friends.

[SittingInPlace]

I have no friends. Every where I go it seems like people come in my life and they eventually leave so now I've learned that no good thing lasts and I never get attached to anyone emotionally. My own father won't speak to me. it aches me inside. I don't know what to do. It feel like everywhere I go I am being reject, from job interviews from forums like this one whom won't even give me access to the brother section. It is quite unfortunate. But I'm use to it so it doesn't phase me.

This was a good video, but to be honest although everything he said was absolutely true there are times when people need a human connection, a shoulder to cry on or some one to talk to. Last night I wept, silently. I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm 20 years old male and I'm trying my best to adhere to my faith after living a foul lifestyle for so long. I go to the mosque frequently now, and I remember Allah constantly. I try to keep a smile on my face, as the prophet would and I try to follow his sunnah as much as I can. but I realized I am very fragile and could literally break any moment..

I don't know what going to happen to me. I don't know what my purpose in life is (in terms of career etc). TBH I wish I'd die a peaceful death, with a smile on my face and the shahada on my tongue and just rest in my grave till the day of qiymah. Obviously I have no idea if I have been forgiven or not so I hope that Allah will have mercy on me. I still fear death because I don't know what will happen but I guess all we can do is hope and fear.

I know that this is a bit of an old post (a few years actually ha), but I couldn't read it without commenting. Everything you've said in this comment sounds like my life exactly (minus a few details). It was almost as if reading something that I wrote myself. I hope that things have improved for you brother, and if they haven't then I'll pray that they will. Ameen.

[BeTheChange]

Asalamualykum,

Sometimes having a few or no friends is better for us.

Think about all the sins we save ourselves from; back-biting, lying, gossiping, wasting time and so on.

Too much socialisation is very bad for us as it hardens our hearts.

Everything in moderation in sha Allah.