" I want Miss Perfect" Syndrome of Men

[SFatima]

So true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLzMMG8zrZw&feature=related

[Afifa]

Very Funny! ;D.
Ofcourse beauty-both inner and outer is in the eye of the beholder

[Salahudeen]

haha there's also "I want Mr perfect" syndrome too.

[SFatima]

yes there is 'I want Mr perfect' syndrome too, but since men get to pick and choose who they marry, they dominate the choices and trends regarding marriage.. Women may have wants, but the usually settle for Mr. No perfect most of the times as long as he is willing to somewhat financially support their lives, or not, in so many cases these days, they just give in to the fitna or marriage just like that.( by fitna I mean temptation)

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[Snowflake]

Lol, shame it was too short!


I watched this one straight after and liked it even more than the first one.

[Cabdullahi]

If a woman married superman she would still complain that he is scared of kryptonite

[tw009]

LOL! that was good. Oh and he's our local Imam. : D

[ardianto]

If a woman married superman she would still complain that he is scared of kryptonite

Isn't it good? This woman can threat her husband with "If you do something wrong, I give you kryptonyte!". And she will have a husband who always obey her.

[ardianto]

haha there's also "I want Mr perfect" syndrome too.

yes there is 'I want Mr perfect' syndrome too,

When I was early teenager I heard an older girl talked to her friend "I want to have husband who handsome, rich, has a car". I told about it to my older friend and he said "She expect Mr Perfect".

Few years later I meet her again, she had been married. And I could not hold my laugh, she married a poor guy who didn't have car, even didn't have motorcycle, and absolutely not handsome.

"I want Mr Perfect" syndrome could be found in Indonesia. I have read several articles about that written by psychologists or sociologist, even I found a good article from an ustadz "Better husband in reality than prince in the dream", that's reminder to Muslimah who want to get married, there's no Mr Perfect. Muslimah should back to reality or they will never get married.

But is there "I want Miss Perfect" syndrome in my place?

I was not a 'house boy' but a guy who active in society and I had many many friends. We grew up together, we experienced phases when we start to attracted to female, approach them, and marry them. And I never found "I want Miss Perfect" syndrome, at least among all men who I know.

There is a popular proverb in my place "bagai pungguk merindukan bulan" (like owl misses the moon), it's means "expect something that too high". And there is a popular advice "do not dream in broad daylight". Message behind these word of wisdom is: Be realistic.

These are what we always said to remind our friend who start become not realistic. I have said these words to my friends. And some of my friends remind me with these words too.

Maybe this is the factor that made us always realistic when were looking for wives.

And, is there Miss Perfect and Mr Perfect? People in my place say, nobody perfect. We are not perfect, other people are not perfect too, because perfection is belong only to Allah.

[Cabdullahi]

Alhamdulilah..that i am so far away from being Mr perfect, being ordinary allows me to please Allah rather than please women because when a woman finds you to be adorable and makes a hint, it becomes very difficult as Yusuf (as) found out.

Glory be to Imperfect men, who don't look appetizing, who are not in any postion of power...who have no cash....no car....nothing, just a pure heart.

[ardianto]

Alhamdulilah..that i am so far away from being Mr perfect, being ordinary allows me to please Allah rather than please women because when a woman finds you to be adorable and makes a hint, it becomes very difficult as Yusuf (as) found out.

Glory be to Imperfect men, who don't look appetizing, who are not in any postion of power...who have no cash....no car....nothing, just a pure heart.

I was familiar with these words.

Hmm, I begin to suspect, you are one of my old friends, but who among my old friends who moved to UK? :?

[Cabdullahi]

I was familiar with these words.

Hmm, I begin to suspect, you are one of my old friends, but who among my old friends who moved to UK? :?

All imperfect men think alike

[ardianto]

All imperfect men think alike

I know, my brother. I Know.

Alhamdulilah..that i am so far away from being Mr perfect,

Alhamdulillah, I am far from being Mr Perfect too.

Do you know, brother? We love and be loved not because perfection, but because imperfection.

I know, almost everyone here cannot believe it. But, one day, after they found a true love, they will realize this.

:)

[Ansariyah]

Hilarious :p lol

[Sothis Girl]

I think woman is much more picky and demanding about his Mr.Right. lol ;D

[ardianto]

One evening. A beautiful woman and her uncle came to my home, looking for information about her husband who didn't back to the home more than two weeks.

I talked with her for few moments. Her uncle and my wife were watching. After she left my home, my wife asked me
"Is that her? your friend's wife?"
"Yes, she is"
Silent for a moment. Then my wife asked me again
"How could a beautiful woman like her married a man like your friend?"
I just smile and didn't give an answer. But suddenly I realized something and asked my wife
"Wait, is there someone who asked you why a woman like you married a man like me?"
My wife smile before she answered me
"Yes, all people who know you". :D

Okay, people can call me lucky man because I married a woman who expected by many men. She's not only beautiful but also meet criteria of "Miss Perfect". But how it feels to be a husband of "Miss Perfect"?.

I wrote in another forum. If a beautiful woman walks alone, people will look at her for few moment and saying "wow, she's beautiful". But when a beautiful woman walks with her husband, people will look at her for a while, then look at her husband longer and start asking "which part of this man that made his wife attracted to him?".

That's based on my experience.

"Miss perfect" is an unmarried woman. And after she got married, she become "Mrs Perfect", it's means her husband should be "Mister Perfect". But if her husband is far from perfect?.

Maybe many men do not know yet, Miss Perfect is a woman who beloved by people, and people expect her has a perfect husband. And if this Miss Perfect husband is far from people's criteria of perfect husband, people will start asking why she chose a man like that as her husband?. Cruelly, even some people can tell her "you can have a better husband if you want".

It can make the husband feel uncomfortable, feel afraid his wife will leave him. Even the husband can feel inferior because he feel his wife is "too high" for him. That's what happened to my friend.

For brother, how to deal if you are in this situation?.
- Close the ears. Let people say what they want, but don't listen to them.
- Do not ever try to be Mister Perfect. Attempt to be perfect mister will only lead to frustration because nobody can be perfect.
- Do not easily get suspicious your wife does not love you anymore, because she actually has her own reasons for marrying and loving you.
- Always remember, nobody perfect. Your wife too.
- Still love her.

Inshaallah, you will be able to overcome your uncomfortable feeling.

Now I have been married more than 17 years and I enjoy my marriage life. Is it because my wife is perfect woman?. No, but because she is not perfect woman. She just an ordinary woman who know how to treat me well, know how to love me. And although she has been 44, people keep saying that she is beautiful.

So, I am a lucky man, am I?

:)

[CosmicPathos]

It can make the husband feel uncomfortable, feel afraid his wife will leave him. Even the husband can feel inferior because he feel his wife is "too high" for him. That's what happened to my friend.

I am not sure why would your wife think that your friend is an idiot who does not deserve to marry such a "perfect woman." He is your friend after all .... S:

[Veiled]

One afternoon, Zakariya and his friend were sitting in a cafe, drinking tea and talking about life and love. His friend asked: “How come you never got married?”
“Well,” said Zakariya, “to tell you the truth, I spent my youth looking for the perfect woman. In New York I met a beautiful and intelligent woman, but she was unkind. Then in Maldives, I met a woman who was a wonderful and generous soul, but we had no common interests. One woman after another would seem just right, but there would always be something missing. Then, one day, I met her. Beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had very much in common. In fact, she was perfect!”
“What happened?” asked Zakariya’s friend, “Why didn’t you marry her?”
Zakariya sipped his tea reflectively. “Well,” he replied, “it’s really the sad story of my life…. It seemed she was looking for the perfect man…

Elohel. This story made me laugh. These days everyone wants the best for themselves and thus become so narrow minded. If a woman such as I were to aspire for a deen orientated man, is it not right for me to accept that maybe he also wants a deen orientated woman? Why should I be concerned and search day and night or long for half my deen, when the half of my part isn't even complete? How easily do we forget to check ourselves before we go and judge our choices. You want the good looking, 5 times praying, well mannered person but have you looked at yourself to see if you possess all that? You intend to find the perfect person but have you reflected on what and who YOU are?
Fact: Perfect packages don't exist, but you can definitely learn and grow and mold each other to your liking.
Gogogogogogo, you guys go do that (And by that I mean be at the epitome of perfection for your own self before you go seek it)

[Scimitar]

Alhamdulilah..that i am so far away from being Mr perfect, being ordinary allows me to please Allah rather than please women because when a woman finds you to be adorable and makes a hint, it becomes very difficult as Yusuf (as) found out.

Glory be to Imperfect men, who don't look appetizing, who are not in any postion of power...who have no cash....no car....nothing, just a pure heart.

Heck Yeah! I'm a fan already... sign me up! :statisfie

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Wifey's gonna be Miss. Perfect in my eyes iA. Isn't that all that matters anyway?

[cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn]

yes, I would think so Muraad.

[ardianto]

I am not sure why would your wife think that your friend is an idiot who does not deserve to marry such a "perfect woman." He is your friend after all .... S:

Actually "neighbor" is more accurate to describe my relationship with him. He's around 10 years younger than me, and I know him just because he worked in a small company that rented office rooms beside my home/office. My wife didn't know his wife because we didn't attend in his wedding. But he introduced his wife to me when she came to his office.

Why my wife thought he did not deserve to marry that woman?. He's childish and could not bear responsibility in marriage. When he got a little problem he always left his home and slept in other places including in his office. That's started happen only few months after he got married. My wife knew it. And I knew his problem because he told some people around him.

He got divorced few months after his wife came to my home. Luckily they didn't have kid.

[aadil77]

it's a tough world, we all have to work towards perfection anything less is not acceptable

[GodIsAll]

ardianto:

Well said and well done, my friend.

Thank you for the touching insight and story.

[aadil77]

aadil77:

Well said and well done, my friend.

Thank you for the touching insight and story.

I was being sarcastic

[DiscoverIslamUK]

Insha-Allah Shaykh Assim al-Hakeem will discuss about the issue of a perfect partner at our marriage seminar which will take in next week in London.

[ardianto]

it's a tough world, we all have to work towards perfection anything less is not acceptable

Is not true that people could not accept us if we are not perfect. Even if we have been obsessed with perfection, people would not accept us. It's because those who obsessed to being perfect would always look only at other people shortcomings, it will makes them become arrogant.

Different than those who realize that perfection is belong only to Allah. They will never try to become perfect, but they will always try to become good persons who can respect and respected by other people.

[GodIsAll]

aadil77:

Well said and well done, my friend.

Thank you for the touching insight and story.
I was being sarcastic

My error.
I meant to address ardianto, sorry.

[Al-bint]

Insha-Allah Shaykh Assim al-Hakeem will discuss about the issue of a perfect partner at our marriage seminar which will take in next week in London.

Nothing like this takes place here! this isnt fair! I always wished that we had live lectures of scholars here but alas!

I have never attended one... :hmm::hmm::hmm:

[ardianto]

Nothing like this takes place here! this isnt fair! I always wished that we had live lectures of scholars here but alas!

I have never attended one... :hmm::hmm::hmm:

If you come to the lecture because you expect Shaykh will tell you how and where to find perfect man, you will be disappointed. There's no perfect human, Shaykh Assim Al-Hakeem must be knows about it.

I don't know what Shaykh will talk, but I guess, not so different than other lectures, how to build good relationship in marriage, how to develop our personality and our spouse personality. So, we will become a person who will make our spouse happy, and our spouse become person who will make us happy.

[Al-bint]

If you come to the lecture because you expect Shaykh will tell you how and where to find perfect man, you will be disappointed. There's no perfect human, Shaykh Assim Al-Hakeem must be knows about it.

I don't know what Shaykh will talk, but I guess, not so different than other lectures, how to build good relationship in marriage, how to develop our personality and our spouse personality. So, we will become a person who will make our spouse happy, and our spouse become person who will make us happy.

waow! i am not searching for anyone... oh misinterpreted! what I meant was that I have never ever attended live lecture of scholars (May it be on any topic!)
The place where I live in, these lectures do not take place here. None that I know of... I wish the scholars would even come here and give lectures so that the youth would get a bit of guidance.

Wasalaam!

[ardianto]

waow! i am not searching for anyone... oh misinterpreted!

Ooppss, sorry.

I thought everyone who come to this thread wants to talk about marriage and finding a living partner.

;D

[Al-bint]

Ooppss, sorry.

I thought everyone who come to this thread wants to talk about marriage and finding a living partner.

actually I should have seen b4 posting... Its just that it was goin thru my mind since last some days that why don't we have lectures over here though it is the country capital... so I just impulsively replied without checking the background!

wasalaam!

[Cabdullahi]

If you're a muslim, you want to do good and want to complete half of your deen you would be a fool for 'not searching for anyone'

[Al-bint]

If you're a muslim, you want to do good and want to complete half of your deen you would be a fool for 'not searching for anyone'

you stupid so as to call me a fool! (jk) well presently i aint. I have my own priorities. I want to learn Arabic and the Qur'an for instance and about searching... my parents will do that for me :statisfie b'coz my searching on my own would be unacceptable for them... (thats what i think)

wasalaam!