I wana be a Muslim but I just don't know

[Crystal]

Hey all,

Ugh I am so confused really...like I have said before the concept of God in Islam is really what I believe but then there are other small things bothering me which most of you here have been kind enough to help me with. Like I know there must be a God - sometimes I do think about life and what's it all about and even though there is lots of suffering I still come to the conclusion there has to be a God - I can't go through life thinking that when you die that's it - i know there has to be a purpose. And then when I watch those programmes about the universe I am even more sure there is a God because how could all this be created without God.

Anyway one of these little problems I am having with some parts of the quran and the hadith is the way it seems to be just talking to men at times. And no this does not mean I think that Islam treats women badly. Look I was reading through hadiths yesterday and then I came across this:
Narrated Mu'adh ibn Jabal: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: if anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the Exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection over the heads of all creatures, and ask him to choose any of the bright and large eyed maidens he wishes. (Sunan AbuDawud Book 41 (4759))

Firstly it starts with anyone but then it clearly goes on to talk specifically about men and the reward men will get. Women get angry too but there is no reward for them so why just men?

And then I am like should I just disregard it because I read maybe it was a surah but I think it was a hadith that when you have a problem with something in religion leave it and then come back to it later. I don't really have problems with anything else in Islam it's just this small issue.

I would prefer replies from females and more importantly revert females because maybe they can understand better where I am coming from.

[Aprender]

Hello my precious sister,

I haven't been a Muslim for very long but I also noticed many things like this too. On my search in Islam a lot of the stuff I learned about in regards to women was being told to me by men. It was a little bit frustrating because I'd have liked to get the point of view from a female scholar since the experience of a man in this world isn't the same as that of a woman. Unfortunately, there aren't many female Islamic scholars that I am aware of for that information which is sad considering the rich history of Islam for that. Cultural traditions have overstepped some of the rights that Allah swt has ordained for women in Islam.

You'll probably find a lot of hadith like this that make you ^o) especially when coming from a Western perspective on it all. I had the same squabbles and apprehensions. But at the end of the day, if you believe in one God and that Islam is the correct religion then a lot of the little stuff like this for men didn't matter much to me. I initially found most of it annoying but it was to my understanding that the woman gets whatever she wants in Jannah and that is enough for me because the possibilities are unimaginable. O Allah please accept our repentance and grant us success in the hereafter. Ameen.

Nowhere in the Quran does it state that men are superior to women either, only that they are to be our protectors. Women have certain rights too in Islam as well. But always remember what Allah swt promises us in the Quran:

"Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do." (97) [16:97 Sahih International]

And their Lord responded to them, "Never will I allow to be lost the work of [any] worker among you, whether male or female; you are of one another. So those who emigrated or were evicted from their homes or were harmed in My cause or fought or were killed - I will surely remove from them their misdeeds, and I will surely admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow as reward from Allah, and Allah has with Him the best reward." (195) [3:195 Sahih International]

And there are these hadith too:
“Whoever has a daughter and he does not bury her alive, does not insult her, and does not favor his son over her, God will enter him into Paradise” (Ibn Hanbal, No.1957)

“Women are the twin halves of men.” (al-Tirmidhi, 105.)

I think what you need to is to get some female influences to help you learn about Islam too. I find Yasmin Mogahed to give very beneficial lectures and she writes very beneficial articles for the Muslim. May Allah bless her. Ameen Her website is www.yasminmogahed.com


Any of the members feel free to correct me if I have posted anything wrong above as I too am still learning about Islam. May Allah help us worship Him right and guide us all. Ameen

[esperanza]

women in islam actually have many more rights..than most people realise,,it just does not seems so at times ,as people are not following islam correctly,
there is atually no distinctions between their rights

QURAN 3:195

'so thier lord accepted of them( their supplication) andanswered" neither will i allow to be lost the work of any of you ,be he male or femal..you are one of another"

women have a right to property/education /freedom of expression /the basic necessities of life/freedom of expression/to choose her marital partner/
just beause often we dont see these things around us in some countries or communities ,this is not the fault of islam but of those who follow it

there are differences in 1) inheritance..as a man is expected to provide for those around him,,,2) in giving testimonyas women are more sentimental
and in 3) divore as it is the man who is provider in the marriage

[MustafaMc]

This site may be helpful to you. http://www.islamswomen.com/

I do not know the reason for the specific promises made to men that do not have a counterpart for women. Perhaps it has to do with the nature of man in general to be more desirous of beautiful women than the other way around. I have been married for almost 26 years and I have not been intimate with another woman, but I have to constantly lower my gaze and guard my thoughts. I don't think my wife has the same difficulty, but maybe she has a purer soul than I do.

I believe that Allah (swt) is fair and just and that He will reward both men and women much more than amply for what they have earned. It is odd to me that I have heard more women convert to Islam than do men despite the lack of a promise for a specific reward in Paradise. (I am a male revert to Islam.)

And their Lord hath accepted of them, and answered them: "Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female: Ye are members, one of another: Those who have left their homes, or been driven out therefrom, or suffered harm in My Cause, or fought or been slain,- verily, I will blot out from them their iniquities, and admit them into Gardens with rivers flowing beneath;- A reward from the presence of Allah, and from His presence is the best of rewards." Quran 3:195

Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions. Quran 16:97

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[Cabdullahi]

Women get angry too but there is no reward for them so why just men?

Women get angry too, but do they show violent aggression?

Its harder to show restraint when you know you can use your physical strength to injure someone...that's why the reward for showing restraint is significant.

Its hard to be a good mother that takes care of her children, nowadays, that's why the reward for being a good mother, a teacher to her children, is significant.

[syed_z]

Asalaam O Alaikum ...

Even though sister your question is for the reverts but i remember hearing this explanation from Sheikh Yasir Qadhi who once answered in one of the lectures to the same question posed by a Muslim sister...

He said that the reason why the Hadith literature does not speak explicitly about the pleasures of Muslim women in paradise like it has for men is because to preserve the modesty of our Sisters in Islam. For example Imagine if the same Hadith of Abu Dawud said....


if anyone suppresses anger when SHE is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the Exalted, will call her on the Day of Resurrection over the heads of all creatures, and ask her to choose any of the bright and large eyed male she wishes....

Would similar ahadith and this one sound modest for the sisters ? All this was done by the Prophet Muhammad (saw) to explain the teachings of Islam within limits of modesty....



However, if you have read the modern tafsirs like Message of the Quran by Muhammad Asad. He has given explanation of the word Hur mentioned in the Quran as such....

56:22 And (with them will be their) companions pure, most beautiful of eye, (23) like unto pearls (still) hidden in their shells.

Asad Comments "The noun hur - rendered by me as "companions pure" - is a plural of both ahwar (masculine) and hawra (fem), either of which describes "a person distinguished by hawar", which latter term denotes "intense whiteness of the eyeballs and lustrous black of the iris" (Qamus). In a more general sense, hawar signifies simply "whiteness" (Asas) or, as a moral qualification, "purity" (cf. Tabari, Razi and Ibn Kathir in their explanations of the term hawariyyun in 3:52). Hence, the compund expression Hur-in signifies approximately, "pure beings (or, more specifically, "Companions pure"), most beautiful ofeye" (which latter is the meaning of '-in', the plural of a'yan). In his comments on the identical expression in 52:20, Razi observes that inasmuch as a person's eye reflects his soul more clearly than any other part of human body, '-in' may be understood as "rich of soul" or "soulful". As regards the term hur in its more current, feminine connotation, quite a large number of the earliest Quran commentators among them Al-Hasan Al Basri understood it as signifying no more and no less than "the righteous among the women of the human kind" (Tabari).


....from what i understood from Muhammad Asad's comments was that Allah (swt) used such a word for White maidens i.e. Hur in Quranic Arabic which is linked to two words which could mean feminine and/or masculine and thats why he has defined Hur as "Companions pure" i.e. includes both male and female.


So again the reason why Quran and Hadith does not explicitly mention the pleasures of sisters in Islam is to maintain modesty and not explain openly what they would enjoy in the hereafter.


Also getting in to details of the joys of the hereafter is pointless i think because Prophet (saw) said

"On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: Allah said:

I have prepared for My righteous servants what no eye has seen and no ear has heard, not has it occurred to human heart. Thus recite if you wish (1): And no soul knows what joy for them (the inhabitants of Paradise) has been kept hidden (Quran Chapter 32 Verse 17).



Many would probably not agree with Asad's interpretation with the word Hur because majority of Muslims in the Muslim world follow strictly the traditions of the Prophet (saw), which is definitely right thing to do. But my purpose of quoting his Tafsir was to help the sister understand and accept Islam.


Salaam.

[esperanza]

everyone male and female is rewared or punished for thier good and bad deeds

and yes mothers are the most respeted of all

a\ woman will meet her husband in paradise,,,,and he will be at his best age and vitality...
if she marries more than one..the best will be waiting for her'
if she has never married she will be rewarded with a wonderful companonion

this is as far as iknow..please orrect me if wrong

[ardianto]

Narrated Mu'adh ibn Jabal: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: if anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the Exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection over the heads of all creatures, and ask him to choose any of the bright and large eyed maidens he wishes. (Sunan AbuDawud Book 41 (4759))

Firstly it starts with anyone but then it clearly goes on to talk specifically about men and the reward men will get. Women get angry too but there is no reward for them so why just men?

There is reward for women too, of course.

But why in that hadith only men who will get reward?. That's a reminder for males. From what I have learned, often, Rasulullah (saw) spoke in front of audience which all of them were males.

[marwen]

Surat Fussilat(chap41), Ayat(verses):30-31-32
Surely, those who have declared: “Our Lord is Allah”, then remained steadfast, on them the angels will descend, saying, “Do not fear, and do not grieve; and be happy with the good news of the Jannah (Paradise) that you had been promised. (30)We have been your friends in the worldly life, and (will remain as such) in the Hereafter. And for you here is whatever your souls desire, and for you here is whatever you call for (31) A gift of welcome from the Most-forgiving, the Very-Merciful”. (32)

For all sisters who want reward in Jannah, please forget about men and their reward, just keep in mind that you will get all you want and desire in jannah : you will get everything you call for. Everything your imagination recall and you desire is served for you. You will never feel sad or grieve. So I don't know what else can convince women that they will not be inferior to men in reward, in jannah ?

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/ Peace

....Firstly it starts with anyone but then it clearly goes on to talk specifically about men and the reward men will get. Women get angry too but there is no reward for them so why just men?

.

don't worry sis , Allah is merciful and the Most kind , ever merciful promised us that :

They rejoice in a Grace and a Bounty from Allah, and that Allah will not waste the reward of the believers.

( سورة آل عمران , Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #171)

Surely! Allah wrongs not even of the weight of an atom (or a small ant), but if there is any good (done), He doubles it, and gives from Him a great reward.


( سورة النساء , An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #40)




a related fatwa :

What will Muslim women get in Paradise? Will a woman who was divorced in this worldly life have a husband in Paradise?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad

, is His Slave and Messenger.

In Paradise, Muslim women will have eternal comfort and happiness that no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard about and no human being has ever imagined, and so will men. Allaah the Almighty Says (what means):

• {And you will have therein whatever your souls desire, and you will have therein whatever you request [or wish]} [Quran 41:31]
• {And no soul knows what has been hidden for them of comfort for eyes as reward for what they used to do.} [Quran 32:17]

Divorced women and women who were never married in this worldly life will be married to a man that they love the most and will not wish for any other. Allaah the Almighty Says (what means):

• {In them are women limiting [their] glances, untouched before them by man or Jinn} [Quran 55:56], this verse indicates their total satisfaction with their husbands that they would never aspire to men other than them
• {And made them virgins, Devoted [to their husbands] and of equal age, For the companions of the right [who are]} [Quran 56:36-38]

Allaah Knows best.



http://islamweb.net/emainpage/index....page=showfatwa

[MustafaMc]

This site is by a knowledgeable sister (IMHO) who may be helpful to new sisters and women interested in learning more about Islam from a Muslimah.
http://theislamichaven.forumotion.com/

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:


Allah has promised to the believers -men and women, - Gardens under which rivers flow to dwell therein forever, and beautiful mansions in Gardens of Adn (Eden Paradise). But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah.

That is the supreme success.


( سورة التوبة , At-Taubah, Chapter #9, Verse #72)


The believers, men and women, are Auliya (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Maroof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger.


Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.


( سورة التوبة , At-Taubah, Chapter #9, Verse #71)

[Crystal]

Really thanks for all the replies they have really helped me...I would love if some of you could tell me more about female Islamic scholars or video lectures by Muslim women because I find them more influential ,,,no offense to men I do also listen to their lectures especially Ahmad Deedat and Zakir Naik but it would be nice to get more females.

I think what you need to is to get some female influences to help you learn about Islam too. I find Yasmin Mogahed to give very beneficial lectures and she writes very beneficial articles for the Muslim. May Allah bless her. Ameen Her website is www.yasminmogahed.com

Oh thanks for this really, I looked through it and found some really great words of wisdom. I guess my fault was that I was comparing myself to the man all time when I dont need to do this. And I am glad to hear you had problems too but that you overcame them it makes me feel more positive about it now. If you do know of any other female Islamic scholars do tell me because I feel I relate to them more.

Its harder to show restraint when you know you can use your physical strength to injure someone

I suppose that is something I didn't think about thanks for pointing it out.

Would similar ahadith and this one sound modest for the sisters ? All this was done by the Prophet Muhammad (saw) to explain the teachings of Islam within limits of modesty

I duno if I would agree with this because Islam requires men to be modest too but I can see what you are saying and thanks for the alternative tafsir.

From what I have learned, often, Rasulullah (saw) spoke in front of audience which all of them were males.

I suppose the context of the hadith is not clear so knowing that Muhammad possibly could have been talking to just men would explain a lot. Thanks.

For all sisters who want reward in Jannah, please forget about men and their reward,

Yes I admit that I was probably focusing too much on the man and less on the woman .

Thanks again all I really appreciate your input

[Cabdullahi]

Be unique, be womanly and feminine but don't be a feminist because some certainly exhibit masculine behavior

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

I can't watch video because of slow net connection. So , can't recommend any lectures online. But sis , u can watch some convert videos and read some stories - these are amazing :statisfie


She Became Muslim After 9/11. She had many of her family members who died on September 11th.




CNN News - Woman converted to Islam after being captured by Talibans


Converting to Islam - the white Britons becoming Muslims

By Catrin Nye BBC Asian Network

You can hear more on this story on the BBC's Asian Network Reports radio show or via the BBC iPlayer.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12075931

[Crystal]

Thanks for the videos :) But I am really more interested in lecture style videos where I can learn about Islam too so if you do come across some do tell me

[Ali_008]

Look for Yvonne Ridley and Farhat Hashmi. I personally have not seen their videos or articles but my friend tells me they are the two best women in the world today propagating Islam. Kind of like of the female counterparts of Ahmed Deedat and Dr. Zakir Naik, perhaps.

[Muhammad]

Assalaamu Alaykum,

Islam is about complete justice, where everyone receives exactly what they need or deserve. Men and women in Islam have different roles and responsibilities. What is obligated upon one may not be obligated upon the other. So with this in mind, we cannot always compare one with the other. Regarding reward in the hereafter, I just wanted to highlight this hadith:

“If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise by whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.” Narrated by Ahmad (1664) and others.

This was specifically narrated regarding the woman, and note the immense reward given for fulfilling basic aspects of Islam.

Keep learning about Islam and and your understanding will continue to grow Insha'Allaah.

[Scimitar]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2r8LLItld4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLjsLGPNstc and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_TeTWJoDQ4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMYZkDDBRg4

Scimi

[cinnamonrolls1]

Honestly id reccomend these blogs for you: partytilfajr on Tumblr( ran by a dude who was an imam i think? Specialises in sharia) and Thegreaterjihad( also on tumblr, studies islam professionally, great to ask about womens issues!) they both talk about this kind stuff on their blogs( u can read them in the browser, u dont need a tumblr acc) Check their index and FAQ pages and im sure you'l find the answers to your questions there! If else send them a msg im sure they'l be happy to help!

[cinnamonrolls1]

Thegreaterjihad is ran by a sister btw( in case ur more comfortable talking to her)

[ammargroup]

bhot acha samjhaya bhai well done