Women Liberation

[Iftikhar]

Women Liberation

I find Islam to be liberating not oppressive: women are partners.

Islam is the first religion which systematically empowered women when women were considered as totally subservient to man. There was no concept of her being an independent entity and enjoying equal right with dignity. We live in a country where women are over-sexualised and sold as 'products' for capitalist gains. A woman's beauty is splashed around everywhere, and she is only judged by that. Islam tells a woman to cover up so that she is not abused as Western women are. Islam provides the security and respect to women community than other religions. The western countries are using the women as an entertainment channels. All the women in the world should think about themselves then decide what is right and what is wrong for them in other religions (than Islam)

What is feminism? Nothing but women’s movement to empower her and to consider her full human being and not mere second sex as ‘Simon de Bouire called her. Thus we see in western countries until early part of twentieth century she did not enjoy an independent status. It was only after thirties of twentieth century that she won equal status legally and various western countries passed the laws to this effect. Yet patriarchy is looming large on her in these countries.

Qur’an empowered her and gave equal status. Another important question is what is the difference between Islamic and western feminism or is there any difference at all. If we go by definition of feminism as an ideology of empowerment of women, there is no difference. On the other hand, women had no rights and but won through great deal of struggle and this struggle came to be known as ‘feminism’ i.e. women’s empowerment.

But there are significant differences also between Islamic and western feminism. Islamic feminism is based on certain non-negotiable values i.e. equality with honour and dignity. Freedom has certain Islamic responsibility whereas in the west freedom tends to degenerate into licentiousness, though not in law but certainly in social and cultural practices. In western culture sexual freedom has become a matter of women’s right and sex has become matter of enjoyment and lost its sanctity as an instrument of procreation.

Qur’an does lay down certain strict norms for sexual behavior. Both man woman have right to sexual gratification (a woman has as much right to sexual gratification as man) but within marital frame-work. There is no concept of freedom for extramarital sex in any form. Sex is permissible only with marital framework. Sex, as far as Islam is concerned, is not mere enjoyment but an act for procreations and hence has sanctity.

It is important here to emphasize that in a patriarchal society men decided the norms of sexual behavior. It was theorized that man has greater urge for sex and hence he needs multiple wives and woman tends to be passive and hence has to be content with one. This is not true as far as Qur’an is concerned. Qur’an’s approach is very different. It is not greater or lesser degree of sexual urge which necessitates multiple or monogamous marriage.

Whole emphasis is on monogamous marriage (in both the Qur’anic verses i.e. 4:3 and 4:129). Multiple marriages were permitted only to take care of widows and orphans and not for greater sexual urge and the verse 4:129 gives the norm of monogamy and not to leave first wife in suspense or neglected. Thus as far as Qur’an is concerned sexual gratification is a non-negotiable right for both man woman. And hence a divorcee and a widow are also permitted to marry and gratify their sexual urge.

Also, in western capitalist countries women’s dignity has been compromised and she has been reduced to a commodity to be exploited. Her semi-naked postures and her sexuality is exploited commercially unabashedly. It is totally against the concept of woman’s honour and dignity. Unfortunately western feminists do not consider this as objectionable but accept it as part of woman’s freedom. Some (though not many) even advocate prostitution as woman’s right to earn her bread.

This is against the concept of Islamic feminism as while sanctioning sexual gratification as much right of woman as that of man, it prohibits extra-marital sexual liaison and on one hand upholds dignity and honour of woman and on the other, exalts sex on the level of sanctity and restricts it for procreation.. Thus it would be seen that discourse of Islamic feminism, while having something in common with modern western feminism, it also significantly differs from it. Islamic feminists have to observe certain norms which modern western feminists are not obliged to.

There is institutionalised oppression of women in all cultures. In India Hindu female foetocide numbers approximately two million every year. Hinduism is rife with sexism. Women are classed as objects owned by men. The Muslims from the Sub-continent were converted from Hinduism. They carry even now a lot of Hindu traditions of dishonouring women mostly in isolated ruler areas. In urban areas Muslims are well educated both Islamically and worldly and women have all the rights given by Islam.

UNICEF photo of the year shows, a bridegroom, 40, with his 11-year-old bride in Afghanistan. The bridegroom is going to take care of her and their future children. UNICEF photo of the year must show that the teenage pregnancies and abortion, drug addiction, binge drinking and anti-social behavior is on the rise in Britain. All of them are burden on British tax-payers. This is sickening. It's no wonder Great Britain is in such a bad shape. Ten years old British girls are haveing babies out of wedlock. They are not allowed to get married but are allowed to have babies. Teenage pregnancy rate in Great Britain is the highest in Western Europe. It is a civilised country and Yemen is a backward country because it allows young girls to get married.

The Holy Quran gives more rights to women than the so called western civilisation.
Western Secularism cannot teach Muslims how to treat women. Islam teaches us how to be civilised. Islam is a middle path. Women are even abused in the UK Parliament, which is called the Mother of Parliament. It is not just verbal abuse the female MPs have had to deal with. The tradition of killing women for family honour is a “curse”. Violence against women is a global phenomenon. An Australian Judge failed to jail nine males who admitted gang-raping a 10-year old Aboriginal girl, by saying the victim probably agreed to have sex with them. More than half the babies born to British mothers this year will be outside marriage for the first time since records begins. There is a steady decline in marriage among British couples. Nearly all births to Pakistani mothers are within wedlock.

The veil signified the rejection of an unacceptable system of values which debased women while Islam elevated women to a position of honour and respect. It is not liberation, where women go naked. It is just oppression, because men want to see them naked. Miniskirts and plunging necklines represent oppression. Veil is a sign of liberation from a prevailing and dangerous western, secular norm – namely, a view of women purely as sexual objects. Western culture is liberalism, and that is in itself a set of norms. But now the time has come that liberalism must change its attitudes because Britain and the whole of West has undergone significant change. It is a fact that a veil cannot be equated with forced marriages, female circumcision or unequal education for girls. The real difference between man and woman is that they have different kinds of bodies designed for very different purposes, and they have also different kinds of mind because these, too, are designed to contribute differently to human needs and purposes. Men tend to be more imaginative and have more flair than women, but women are much more tenacious and better at multilasking than men.

Muslim boys and Girls need state funded Muslim schools with bilingual Male and female Muslim teachers as role models during their developmental periods. Muslim youths feel torn between two cultures, thanks to the state schools with monolingual non-Muslim teachers. Islam teaches Muslims youths to be virgin but western education system teaches the opposite. It makes their lives very confusing. They suffer from Identity Crises. The solution is that each and every Muslim child should be in state funded Muslim schools because western education makes a man stupid and selfish according to Lord Bertrand Russell.
Iftikhar Ahmad

[Abz2000]

Masha Allah, Beautiful post, just what i was thinking about now,
i'm currently at work, my colleague has half naked indian women dancing around, and i was watching the nasheed of chechnya, beautiful, smiling, in hijab, and holding AKs, i called him over and asked which women he'd respect, he said the chechnyan sisters =)
it's not a caseof not knowng with some people, they just like to see women debase themselves and get called wh**es

[Galaxy]

:sl: alhamdulillah for Islam, Allah knows what's best for us women.

[ardianto]

UNICEF photo of the year shows, a bridegroom, 40, with his 11-year-old bride in Afghanistan. The bridegroom is going to take care of her and their future children.

But this is not a good example. Muslim women are not sexual object. Why don't they let this girl go to the school? why didn't that man marry widow?.

Ulama in my place said, women have right to refuse forced marriage, right to get education. And also ulama in my place said, if men want to marry other wives, they should marry poor widows.

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[Who Am I?]

The women's empowerment movement has ruined Western society.

My generation of men, Gen X, has been told from the time we were little boys that women can do anything men can do. Girls are equal to boys, they can do anything boys can do, and do it better. So we're told this our whole lives, so when we grow up and start looking for a life partner, we have become accustomed to being told that women don't need us. They don't need us to protect them, they don't need us to take care of them, they don't need us to provide for them, and they don't need us to lead them, because women can do everything that men can do. Men are not needed anymore.

There is a whole generation of women that doesn't respect men. They have been told that we are not necessary anymore. They have been told that they can do what we can do. They have been told that we are oppressive and evil and just want to surprise sex them and leave them.

So now you have a whole generation of women that don't respect men, and a whole generation of men that resent women. It's a self-perpetuating cycle of hatred that has led to the increase in divorce and domestic abuse.

I myself admit that I don't really know how to deal with women. I have been told my whole life that women don't need me, and I don't know how to handle that. I want to be loved, and I want to be needed, and I am not, and it bothers me.

Checnyan sisters in hijab with guns sounds good to me right now. Let them fight, because apparently I'm not needed anymore...

[bintYahya]

:sl:

My country was the first in the West, or we do not really think we're part of the West, to allow women to vote. Also in other ways we've been in the front of feminist or female issues. At some point I think this has gotten too far. Women think they have a right to be evil by following their desires, and they don't want to stop: it's not enough to have seemingly equal rights (their definition is erroneous) but they want to give up their responsibilities in a search for a care-free and mindless life of so called freedom. They don't realize that in so many ways they are tied to pleasing and submitting to those men who follow their base desires. I feel ashamed for those who don't see the reality or who don't respect the other gender.

I do support women's empowerment, to the extent defined in the Qur'an because I'm a Muslim submitting to Allah and I believe that as a Creator Allah is the All-Knowing who can set limits, bring order into the chaos, and guarantee happy life to those who adhere to the teachings of the Qur'an and the Sunnah.

But I can admit I've been brought up to believe men aren't really needed but Islam has changed my life; I love Allah and I have to obey. And it doesn't mean I have to feel inferior to a man like so many believe about Islam oppressing women. Only Allah has given us true equality while humans have usually failed to define it. I'm trying to change and fight the ideas that have been fed me to over the years. I've been truly trying to avoid marriage in the fear that I'll somehow disrespect the manhood of my husband and break him from the inside. Since my father left us years ago I've not had a single man to be a living example of the other gender and being abused and raped by some people didn't help with forming a healthy mental image of a relationship with a man. It would've been unfair to judge like that, though, I want to give everyone a chance they deserve. And I also fear I can't be enough of a woman for my husband to be even though womanhood, too, is a wide spectrum of qualities and abilities.

[Who Am I?]

Well I have to be a better man than I am before I can ever marry. I will probably be alone for the rest of my life, and you know what? I'm becoming OK with that... because as it is, I'd be a lousy husband. Partly society's fault, and partly just me being an angry stupid man for many years.

This is why I cannot be the angry guy anymore. This is why I reinvent myself.

[ardianto]

The women's empowerment movement has ruined Western society.

My generation of men, Gen X, has been told from the time we were little boys that women can do anything men can do. Girls are equal to boys, they can do anything boys can do, and do it better. So we're told this our whole lives, so when we grow up and start looking for a life partner, we have become accustomed to being told that women don't need us. They don't need us to protect them, they don't need us to take care of them, they don't need us to provide for them, and they don't need us to lead them, because women can do everything that men can do. Men are not needed anymore.

There is a whole generation of women that doesn't respect men. They have been told that we are not necessary anymore. They have been told that they can do what we can do. They have been told that we are oppressive and evil and just want to surprise sex them and leave them.

So now you have a whole generation of women that don't respect men, and a whole generation of men that resent women. It's a self-perpetuating cycle of hatred that has led to the increase in divorce and domestic abuse.

Ulama in my place said, the best career for women is housewife. And, making money is the men (husband) duty. But they did not say wives should depend on husbands. They said, wives should support husbands.

Men are women are not same, they have their own rights, their own duties, their own role. But men are women should respect each other because they actually need each other.

I myself admit that I don't really know how to deal with women. I have been told my whole life that women don't need me, and I don't know how to handle that. I want to be loved, and I want to be needed, and I am not, and it bothers me.

Checnyan sisters in hijab with guns sounds good to me right now. Let them fight, because apparently I'm not needed anymore...

Go to "Frustration in getting married" thread. Insha Allah, after maghrib or after Isha I will write an advice.


Edit : I mean after maghrib or Isha in Indonesia. Now is near to maghrib. I forgot, you are in USA.

[Sothis Girl]

I'm all for ISLAMIC woman liberation. the abuses we see toward women today in many muslim countries are actually un-islamic. it's just an old bad tradition, legalized in the name of islam....and maybe because the Western media see the doers are muslim, they soon attached it as "islam".

[Iftikhar]

We live in a country where women are over-sexualised and sold as 'products'
for capitalist gains. A woman's beauty is splashed around everywhere, and
she is only judged by that. Islam tells a woman to cover up so that she is
not abused as Western women are.

Islam is the fastest growing faith in Britain. Hundreds and thousands of
Brits are reverting to Islam. By the middle of this century, over half of
Brits would be Muslims.

New research has shown more women convert to Islam than men - in fact, they
account for 60 per cent of conversions. They believed that they should be a
force for good by building bridges between the Muslim and Non Muslim
communities in order to understand Islam better.

Examples of women who have left high powered jobs in the city, educated
women who mostly found out about Islam independently via books, the internet
or discussion with Muslims; seem to be the picture that is portrayed in this
study. This clearly demonstrates a clear pattern of converts who while non
Muslim rethought their lives and actively sought to reject secular values,
for a belief system offering spiritual and worldly guidance in order to
regulate life in a meaningful and fulfilling way. The rejection of
materialism and decadence seem to be some of the catalysts in making that
change.

One of the most high-profile examples is Tony Blair's sister-in-law Lauren
Booth, who recently announced she had adopted the faith after a trip to
Iran. The conversion of Lauren Booth will have a positive impact, despite
claims that it is just attention-seeking. It will encourage people to
convert, unless they idolise her, but I think that it will educate people
and make them more interested in learning about Muslims. It’s all about
having a look at the Quran with an open mind, without presumptions and
assumptions…Then would the reader understand what the beautiful religion is
all about….

Increasing numbers of young, university-educated women in their twenties and
thirties are converting to Islam. Well – educated white women are more
likely to convert to Islam than other groups. Through wearing modest
clothing, all the way to a head scarf, it’s no longer about how you look, It’s
getting free from this idea that you are defined by your dress size.” At the
London Central Mosque in Regent’s Park, women account for roughly two thirds
of the “New Muslims” who make their official declarations of faith – and
most of them are under the age of 30.

The question is why are so-called liberated women choosing Islam. Such women
are part of an intriguing trend. They seek spirituality, a higher meaning,
and tend to be deep thinkers.

While 9/11 has led to a western military and ideological onslaught on Islam,
9/11 has also been the catalyst for increasing numbers, born and bred in the
west, to question and reject western values and convert to Islam.

It is also of no surprise that no matter what policies or narrative is
pushed by governments, writers, thinkers or elements of the media to try and
reason away such conversions as ‘fringe’, ‘coercion’ or ‘blind following,’
this trend will continue in a world that seeks to understand the extent to
which Capitalist liberal values have failed man in every sense and left a
void which can only be filled by the truth!

"I have always held the religion of Muhammad in high estimation because of
its wonderful vitality. It is the only religion which appears to me to
possess that assimilating capacity to the changing phase of existence which
can make itself appeal to every age. I have studied him - the wonderful man
and in my opinion for from being an anti-Christ, he must be called the
Saviour of Humanity. I believe that if a man like him were to assume the
dictatorship of the modern world, he would succeed in solving its problems
in a way that would bring it the much
needed peace and happiness: I have prophesied about the faith of Muhammad
that it would be acceptable to the Europe of tomorrow as it is beginning to
be acceptable to the Europe of today." [G.B. Shaw, THE GENUINE ISLAM, Vol.
1, No. 81936.]

I don't believe in the right to dictate to different people what to do and
what not to do simply because of their culture. What is the problem with a
demand for Islamic schools exactly?The key word is demand, just as under
common law, it is the law of the people. It comes from an acceptance of
humanity. People should be free to choose how they educate their own
children. So if there was a demand for Muslim schools from Muslim or
non-Muslim parents then we should also allow that. I think freedom of
religion should also be available to people should they want it. People
don't come here to be British, they come here for a variety of reasons .
France is a fraud in the manner it claims its secularity. It is not secular
nor is the state separate from the religion of its parliamentarians.

I don't buy the argument that Muslim schools brainwash innocent children and
force them to think in a certain way when they should be "free" to choose
their own way....it's as if state schools don't do the same! All childhood
education is a form of moulding and culturing of intellect and
behaviour.....in a state school they'll be brought up to beleive in whatever
the govt has set as the official curriculum....most likely they'll grow up
believing in liberal capitalism as the only way to make money, they'll have
very little knowledge of the crimes committed by Europe in the slave trade
and during the colonial period, they'll have very little understanding of
the contributions of other cultures, they'll be forcefed govt-approved
ethics etc etc....sounds like brainwashing to me!

All the venom against Islam, it's pathetic. What about the kids who have
parents that teach them no values at all, who take no interest in their
child's moral development or worse still, leave their children to be brought
up by the media, X factor and a consumerist society?

And for those that say the children shouldn't be indoctrinated with
anything, like it or not, whenever you bring a child up you will
indoctrinate your own beliefs into the child. Atheist's will undoubtedly
have children who predominantly grow up to be Atheist, Jews will have
children who will identify themselves as Jews as adults etc. If you refer to
choice, every Muslim in this country has the choice to renounce their faith
if they choose to when they grow up so there is no compulsion.

Parent's have every right to reject state education if they feel that
education is better served in an environment where morality is also
discussed alongside traditional subjects.

After all, we have an education system in which it is acceptable to be
laying in a pool of your own vomit one night and then graduate with flying
colours the next day....

You have to accept that for some parents education should not just be about
grades, but also the moral and spiritual development of their children as
well.

Muslim schools have been around for 30+ years. The first Muslim school was
set up by me in London in 1981 and now there are over 150 schools and only
12 are state funded. Have they had a negative effect on British society? Far
from it. Quite the opposite, in fact. Muslims convicted of any kind of
illegal activity, let alone terrorism, tend to have been educated in
mainstream, non-faith schools, colleges and universities. There are people
who want to enforce their own ideology on people of faith. Having worked
with and for Muslim schools for almost 30 years, I know of no Muslim who
wants every school to be a faith school; our opponents, however, in the name
of liberalism and freedom, want all schools to be non-religious. Some
liberalism; some freedom that is!

Ofsted evidence of Islamic Schools indicated that the pupils outperformed
their peers at state schools. Ofsted report (some years ago) did find that
Christian Evangelical schools did turn out the most intolerant out of all
faith schools, it also found that the Jewish schools pupils were the least
intolerant. A CONSIDERABLE NUMBER OF MUSLIM SCHOOLS are doing well. Fact is
comprehensive schools are badly run, lacking in discipline, under-achieving
academicly and tolerates such lax behaviour that drug-use and teen pregnancy
is considered normal. Would you want to send your kids to be educated in
that kind of enviroment? So why beat up muslims parents who want to 'OPT'
out?

Problems of high percentage of teenage pregnancy, drugs and alcoholism and
setting the right level of sex education have been quite a burden to this
country.
While no solutions have been found yet, in fact the solution is already
there in religious teaching.

So, setting up well organised and proper faith schools, particularly islamic
school gives the solution of the above problem. I think our government
should support this direction more rather than wasting a lot of time finding
other solutions that will not solve the problems.

Parents should be the ones to make the individual choice of what programs
their kids should attend, not the government. Imposing the teaching of all
religions or none at all would go against the liberty principle of your
tolerant society. Parents have a right to educate their children where they
see fit, and instill values which they feel will bring them as good and
responsible individuals. These parents are sending thier kids to Muslim
schools as they believe it is the best thing for their children and have
lost faith in the what is being offered by the government.Muslim parents
want their children educated in a disciplined environment. Is that so
unreasonable? People who seek religious schools just want some element of
discipline and a focus on learning..

Sure, religious parents including Muslims, may also prefer a school ethos
that is actively against porn, drugs and mini-micro-disappearing skirts.

May I congratulate Muslims on their founding of new schools and taking a
full part in the life on this country. They simply are joining the
Anglicans, Catholics, Jews, Methodists et al in having their own schools.

In a nation of immigrants that never assimilated into the Native American
way of life, but imposed their culture onto the the native people and then
exterminated most of them when they refused to bow down to 'superior'
European culture.

Cambridge and many of the great western and eastern universities began as a
theological colleges - part of the christian and muslim mission is to
encourage learning including humanities and science. That is why the
humanists and scientists did not need to start separate schools, they are a
product of religious ethos (of encouraging learning)

The Muslim community has been passing through a phase of fourth Crusades.
The battleground is the field of education, where the young generation will
be educated properly with the Holly Quran in one hand and Sciences in other
hand to serve humanity. A true Muslim is a citizen of the world, which has
become a small global village. We are going to prepare our youth to achieve
that objective in the long run. A true Muslim believes in Prophet Moses and
the Prophet Jesus and without them one cannot be a Muslim. My suggestion is
that in all state, independent and Christian based school special attention
should be given to the teaching of Comparative Religion and Islam should be
taught by qualified Muslim Teachers to make the children aware the closeness
of Islam to Christianity and Judaism which will help them to think about
Islam, as “A Pragmatic and Modern Way of Life,” during their life time.
Those state schools where Muslim children are in majority may be opted out
as Muslim Academies.

Bilingual Muslim children need to learn and be well versed in Standard
English to follow the National Curriculum and go for higher studies and
research to serve humanity. The problem is that they learn English in the
streets and in the playgrounds. British schooling does not teach English to
migrant children. The teachers let them speak the same accent in the
classroom. They have no courage to stop them or correct them. This is one of
the main reasons why one third of children have difficulties with reading
when they leave primary schools. Majority of such children are bilingual
Muslims. They often speak "street" with its own grammar, vocabulary and
pronunciation. In other European countries and in the sub-continent argot
and slang are not allowed into the classrooms. In Britain primary school
teachers do not feel that it's role to interfere with self-expression in any
shape or form. They encourage children to read poems and stories written in
ethnic dialects.

Bilingual Muslim children need state funded Muslim schools with bilingual
Muslim teachers as role models during their developmental periods. It will
help them to developm self-confidence and self-esteem.
IA

[Scimitar]

Well I have to be a better man than I am before I can ever marry. I will probably be alone for the rest of my life, and you know what? I'm becoming OK with that... because as it is, I'd be a lousy husband. Partly society's fault, and partly just me being an angry stupid man for many years.

This is why I cannot be the angry guy anymore. This is why I reinvent myself.

You are really honest and are growing on me bro. I also re-invented myself - and it paid off alhamdulillah. Don't give up on yourself, just keep on - keeping on.

Scimi

[cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn]

Women Liberation

I find Islam to be liberating not oppressive: women are partners.


Islam is the first religion which systematically empowered women when women were considered as totally subservient to man. There was no concept of her being an independent entity and enjoying equal right with dignity.

There was this concept before Islam, when Islam came, it was re-established as gender roles were lost, as they are now. It's history repeating itself over and over. Independence and Equality are two concepts which are understood in the wrong way in modern day actually. Islam doesn't give equality to genders, they are set apart and are clearly different from each other. They each have complementary roles and are meant to work in conjunction, as a team, this is why we complete half our deen when we marry.

We live in a country where women are over-sexualised and sold as 'products' for capitalist gains. A woman's beauty is splashed around everywhere, and she is only judged by that. Islam tells a woman to cover up so that she is not abused as Western women are. Islam provides the security and respect to women community than other religions. The western countries are using the women as an entertainment channels. All the women in the world should think about themselves then decide what is right and what is wrong for them in other religions (than Islam)

Although I agree with what is being said, it isn't all about looks. We have plenty of women who cover up and have no respect for themselves nor understand their place. Western countries are no longer an exception. It's not like women don't have a choice in the matter anyway, they aren't being used, they are allowing themselves to be used.


[quote]What is feminism? Nothing but women’s movement to empower her and to consider her full human being and not mere second sex as ‘Simon de Bouire called her. Thus we see in western countries until early part of twentieth century she did not enjoy an independent status. It was only after thirties of twentieth century that she won equal status legally and various western countries passed the laws to this effect. Yet patriarchy is looming large on her in these countries.


Qur’an empowered her and gave equal status. Another important question is what is the difference between Islamic and western feminism or is there any difference at all. If we go by definition of feminism as an ideology of empowerment of women, there is no difference. On the other hand, women had no rights and but won through great deal of struggle and this struggle came to be known as ‘feminism’ i.e. women’s empowerment.

But there are significant differences also between Islamic and western feminism. Islamic feminism is based on certain non-negotiable values i.e. equality with honour and dignity. Freedom has certain Islamic responsibility whereas in the west freedom tends to degenerate into licentiousness, though not in law but certainly in social and cultural practices. In western culture sexual freedom has become a matter of women’s right and sex has become matter of enjoyment and lost its sanctity as an instrument of procreation.

There should be no term such as "Islamic Feminism". When Islam came around and our prophet (saw) gave women their rights, Gender roles were re-established. Feminism is the "empowerment" of women, however, women don't need to be empowered, meaning, she has to prove to herself stronger, by empowering you increase in strength spiritually, politically, economically etc which increases the person's confidence. This entire idea of empowering women is to feed their confidence, by doing this you already set the couple apart and make them competitors. make sense? When our prophet gave women their rights, its was for the better of the ummah, he gave men rights too and warned women continuously, because women are the heartbeat of the home and if the heart isn't healthy, neither is the family.

As far as the sexual revolution is concerned, again, western countries are no exception. The sexual freedom became possible thanks to birth control, and it was in the 1960's that it started to become legal worldwide, and this is when a fatwa to allowed birth control was made. Just because u don't see naked women running around in these countries doesn't mean the same stuff doesn't go on. Prostitution has increased and so had dating, mixing of genders etc.

Qur’an does lay down certain strict norms for sexual behavior. Both man woman have right to sexual gratification (a woman has as much right to sexual gratification as man) but within marital frame-work. There is no concept of freedom for extramarital sex in any form. Sex is permissible only with marital framework. Sex, as far as Islam is concerned, is not mere enjoyment but an act for procreations and hence has sanctity.

This is true, however, going back to liberation and feminism, Muslim countries have taken on the western ideals, so even though the concept in Islam is not allowed, it is still being done. Why?

It is important here to emphasize that in a patriarchal society men decided the norms of sexual behavior. It was theorized that man has greater urge for sex and hence he needs multiple wives and woman tends to be passive and hence has to be content with one. This is not true as far as Qur’an is concerned. Qur’an’s approach is very different. It is not greater or lesser degree of sexual urge which necessitates multiple or monogamous marriage.


Whole emphasis is on monogamous marriage (in both the Qur’anic verses i.e. 4:3 and 4:129). Multiple marriages were permitted only to take care of widows and orphans and not for greater sexual urge and the verse 4:129 gives the norm of monogamy and not to leave first wife in suspense or neglected. Thus as far as Qur’an is concerned sexual gratification is a non-negotiable right for both man woman. And hence a divorcee and a widow are also permitted to marry and gratify their sexual urge.

It seems that, the article's focus on liberation is the sexuality part of things. Men having a higher sexual drive is not a theory, the thing is, women work differently. They are not fertile 24-7 as men are. A woman's drive increases right around ovulation and decreases once ovulation has occurred. This is one week out of the month, and there is a second surge in hormones right before menses. Men on the other hand, they dont go through this, nor do they go through menopause. You cannot compare the two. If women have a high sex drive for one week out of the month, that leaves 3 weeks where she isn't at the same level as the man, take another week off for abstinence during menses, now you have 2 weeks left... get my point? You just cannot compare the male in female in this manner.
I agree though, that polygamy is meant for the better of the community, taking on a widows or a divorcee as a wife is not easy, and all wives should be treated fairly, which in itself is very very difficult. This is a right a man has whether women like it or not, it's the man who has to really think about his decisions, he is the provider afterall. If a man has to put one of his wives to work in order to afford the other one, that is not correct and cannot be justified. This is why it's important for both husband and wife to know their Islam properly.
This is where "islamic feminism" kicks in. Muslim feminists seem to take a great deal of focus on issues such as polygamy and sexuality, voting rights, working rights etc, completely dismissing their nature, they just want to be equal to men, when in reality this is not possible. There is way too much emphasis on rights and not enough on self improvement, bettering your own character. This can change the entire outlook on these issues.


The restof the article goes on to cover capitalism and how cultures are oppresive etc. Yes, it's called divide and conquer, and it began with dividing everythinginto countries, then dividing the families, now a days, people wait until super late to marry, if at all. It's too easy to not commit to something and work at things. Women just need to drop the whole "empowerment" role and men need to step up and be men and not allow this nonsense to occur. It's easier said than done I know, but, its IS doable. Instead of focusing on liberating muslim women, the focus should be liberating the entire ummah from capitalism.

-Cosmic

[Who Am I?]

You are really honest and are growing on me bro. I also re-invented myself - and it paid off alhamdulillah. Don't give up on yourself, just keep on - keeping on.

Scimi

:sl:

Brother, recent events in my life have forced me to re-evaluate some things. I'm no longer necessarily opposed to marriage, but I realize that I do need to make some changes in my life, and I am trying to do that.

Whoever she is, she will need to be patient and strong in her faith to help me with mine.

[Scimitar]

You know bro, I know exactly where you are coming from. Insha-Allah, the way will not be difficult at all - just a testing time that is within your own limit to overcome.

I'm 36 and unmarried... I'm engaged, but you know - marriage is still something that is a big gray area for me. I've never been married before and the older I get, the more comfortable I become in my own skin. However, the need to be married is far stronger in me than the need to be single. I see what I am missing, and though there may be problems, arguments etc, I honestly believe the pros outweigh the cons. The proof is with the people I know who are married, masha-Allah.

Some of my friends have kids who are 17 yrs old now (facepalm) I haven't even got one!!! Blarg.

Either way, I feel we're both in the same boat man. It's nice to know I'm not alone alhamdulillah... I will add that I am engaged to be married. My fiance is also on this forum (infact it's cosmic intuition who posted above). Craziest thing though brother, last year June, I'd given up all hope of ever getting married. For me, it was the curtain call for that chapter in my life.... then the encore surprised me (pardon the analogy) and I met CosmicIntuition... the rest just kinda fell into place. I didn't even have to try much, this proves to me that it is Allah who arranges marriages and not us humans. Totally sold on that.

Scimi

edit: real sorry for going offtopic

[Who Am I?]

:sl:

I will be 36 in a few days, so we are really a lot more alike than you would think.

I'm open to the possibility of marriage. I just have to find the right sister. One who is strong in her faith, intelligent, not afraid to speak her mind, and patient with me as I make some changes in my own life.

[Scimitar]

I agree with all that - except the "not afraid to speak her mind"... nah bro ;D as long as she stays quiet, shes cute in my book lol (kidding)

Scimi

[Who Am I?]

Well I want a woman who will speak her mind, and teach me the things that I cannot learn for myself. I still don't know very much about women or relationships, and I need someone who can teach me those things.

[Scimitar]

well, that should be a liberating experience for both you and your prospective wife insha-Allah. Your intentions are good, and I have my trust in Allah to know that you are being looked after in that department.

He looked after me, All I have to do now is tie the knot and i'm official.

Scimi

[Who Am I?]

well, that should be a liberating experience for both you and your prospective wife insha-Allah. Your intentions are good, and I have my trust in Allah to know that you are being looked after in that department.

He looked after me, All I have to do now is tie the knot and i'm official.

Scimi

:sl:

Yeah, I'll be OK.

Good luck to you and your wife...

[Scimitar]

I know you will bro :) just keep us posted of any new development on the marriage front. I'll be the first to wish you well.

Scimi