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Hamza Asadullah
01-17-2012, 03:11 PM
Asalaamu Alaikum, this is a thread dedicated to new Muslims who need help and support with anything at all. Whether they need Islamic resources, need help with any Islamic questions, issues or topics, or just want to share anything at all about their reversion or have any issues post reversion like with their families etc.

Please feel free to post and we will try our best to help in anyway that we can.
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Marina-Aisha
01-17-2012, 06:45 PM
great post i was wondering wot does islam take on divorcing? is it harram?or is it halal?could u give me quotes from the quran also plz
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syed1
01-17-2012, 07:00 PM
Divorce in Islam is halal but there are specifications and guidelines to be followed. For example, one cannot divorce during the wife being pregnant at which time the husband must continue to provide for her (among other things)..

There is a whole chapter in the Quran dedicated to divorce. I have pasted it below:

Surah At-Talaq (65)

O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women, divorce them for [the commencement of] their waiting period and keep count of the waiting period, and fear Allah , your Lord. Do not turn them out of their [husbands'] houses, nor should they [themselves] leave [during that period] unless they are committing a clear immorality. And those are the limits [set by] Allah . And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah has certainly wronged himself. You know not; perhaps Allah will bring about after that a [different] matter.

And when they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or part with them according to acceptable terms. And bring to witness two just men from among you and establish the testimony for [the acceptance of] Allah . That is instructed to whoever should believe in Allah and the Last day. And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out

And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.

And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women - if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] those who have not menstruated. And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth. And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him of his matter ease.

That is the command of Allah , which He has sent down to you; and whoever fears Allah - He will remove for him his misdeeds and make great for him his reward.

Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and do not harm them in order to oppress them. And if they should be pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth. And if they breastfeed for you, then give them their payment and confer among yourselves in the acceptable way; but if you are in discord, then there may breastfeed for the father another woman.

Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted - let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.


And how many a city was insolent toward the command of its Lord and His messengers, so We took it to severe account and punished it with a terrible punishment.

And it tasted the bad consequence of its affair, and the outcome of its affair was loss.

Allah has prepared for them a severe punishment; so fear Allah , O you of understanding who have believed. Allah has sent down to you the Qur'an.

[He sent] a Messenger [Muhammad] reciting to you the distinct verses of Allah that He may bring out those who believe and do righteous deeds from darknesses into the light. And whoever believes in Allah and does righteousness - He will admit him into gardens beneath which rivers flow to abide therein forever. Allah will have perfected for him a provision.
i
t is Allah who has created seven heavens and of the earth, the like of them. [His] command descends among them so you may know that Allah is over all things competent and that Allah has encompassed all things in knowledge.
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Hamza Asadullah
01-17-2012, 07:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina28
great post i was wondering wot does islam take on divorcing? is it harram?or is it halal?could u give me quotes from the quran also plz
:sl:

Islamic law regarding divorce

Islam allows divorce if circumstances warrant or necessitate it. Islam has permitted divorce reluctantly neither liking nor recommending it. The Prophet of Islam has said,

"Among lawful things, divorce is most disliked by Allah." (narrated in the book of tradition of Abu Daud).

Islam has not made it necessary that the grounds of divorce should be publicised. It, however, does not mean that Islam views divorce lightly. In fact, publicity of grounds may not be of any positive consequence. The grounds may not be pronounced but genuine. On the other hand, the grounds may be stated and may in reality be false. Islam does not also want washing dirty linen of private affairs in public or in the court except in exceptional circumstances. It is for this reason that court comes in as a last resort in the Islamic scheme of separation of husband and wife.

The Quran states as regard grounds of divorce in very general terms,

" And if you fear that the two (i. e husband and wife) may not be able to keep the limits ordered by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from the marriage tie) .." (2:229)

The general ground of divorce in the Quran, therefore, is hopeless failure of one or both parties to discharge their marital duties and to consort with each other in kindness, peace and compassion. The jurists have developed some indices, which may be accepted as grounds of divorce in case the divorce matter goes to the court. Long absence of husband without any information, long imprisonment, refusal to provide for wife, impotence etc. are some of the grounds on which wife can ask for divorce. Either party may take steps to divorce in case of chronical disease, insanity, deceptive misrepresentation during marriage contract, desertion etc.

A Muslim male is allowed three chances, that is to say, three pronouncements or acts of divorce in three different occasions provided that each divorce is pronounced during the time when the wife is in the period of parity (that is not in her menstrual time). A husband may divorce his wife once and let the Iddat (the period of waiting after divorce) pass. During the waiting period the two have the option of being reconciled. If however the waiting period passes without reconciliation, they stand fully divorced.

If after the first divorce the husband is reconciled with his wife but the hostility and conflict begins all over again, he may divorce her a second time in the same manner as stated above. In this case also he can return to her during the Iddat )(or waiting period). If however, after second reconciliation, he divorces the wife the third time, he can not take back the wife during the Iddat. She is totally prohibited for him. The lady thereafter can marry any person she likes according to her choice. (Ref : The Lawful and the prohibited in Islam by Dr. Yusuf-Al Qaradawi).

The wife can divorce her husband if this condition is stipulated in the marriage contract. This kind of divorce is called 'Delegated Divorce' (Talaq Taffiz). Marriage can also be dissolved through mutual consent. This is called Khula in the technical language of Islamic law. Marriage can also be dissolved by judicial process through the court on compliant of the wife on the grounds explained before.

One of the consequences of the divorce is the commencement of waiting period of the wife. This usually lasts three months. If there is a pregnancy, it lasts as long as pregnancy lasts. The waiting period is basically a term of probation during which reconciliation can be attempted. It is also required to establish whether the wife has conceived. It also allows time for planning the future.

Maintenance of wife during the waiting period is on husband. The wife can not be expelled from her place of residence and she can not in any way harass her. These will constitute moral as well as criminal offence.

In case of divorce, the young children remain in the custody of their divorced mother. However, the father has to provide the cost of maintenance of young children through they remain under the custody of mother. (Ref: The Family Structure in Islam by Dr. Hammudah Abdul Ati).

Islamic law of divorce is based on practical considerations. The process of separation is basically a matter of husband and wife. However, when conflict arises, attempts should be made for reconciliation. It has not made judicial process obligatory in divorce for reasons explained earlier. The intervention of court has nowhere reduced the number of divorce. Judicial process in Islam is the last resort in so far as divorce is concerned.

Islamic law on divorce if followed in true spirit will enhance the dignity of man and woman, reduce conflict and ensure justice.


Source: http://www.witness-pioneer.org/vil/B...ng_divorce.htm


Other topics and resources regarding divorce:


When a Woman Converts While Married to a Non-Muslim Man

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...ID=176&CATE=11


Ruling on Child Custody after Divorce

http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/ccustody1.htm


Many more divorce related topics here:

http://spa.qibla.com/browse.asp?ToDo...id=12&catId=11


If you need anymore help or advice with anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask.
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Marina-Aisha
01-17-2012, 10:25 PM
omg thank you for all the information.
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Abdullahi E
01-17-2012, 10:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina28
great post i was wondering wot does islam take on divorcing? is it harram?or is it halal?could u give me quotes from the quran also plz
About divorce i will only say , the only thing that Allah dislike but halal is divorce
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Ramadhan
01-18-2012, 09:40 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahi E
About divorce i will only say , the only thing that Allah dislike but halal is divorce
Can you please tell us the source of this (Qur'an, hadith?)
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Amat Allah
01-18-2012, 11:21 AM
check on this in shaa Allah:

Hadeeth: “The most hated thing before Allaah is divorce”
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Abdullahi E
01-18-2012, 12:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ramadhan

Can you please tell us the source of this (Qur'an, hadith?)
Akhi mashallah for asking that and my sis Amat Allah replied the answer
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Abdullahi E
01-18-2012, 12:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ramadhan

Can you please tell us the source of this (Qur'an, hadith?)
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
It is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The most hated of permissible things to Allaah is divorce.” This hadeeth is not saheeh, but its meaning is sound: Allaah hates divorce, but He does not forbid it to His slaves, so as to make things easier for them. If there is a legitimate shar’i or regular reason for divorce, then it is permissible and depends on the likely outcome of keeping this woman as one's wife. If keeping her will lead to something that is contrary to sharee’ah which cannot be avoided except by divorcing her, such as if the woman is lacking in religious commitment or chastity, and the husband cannot set her straight, then in this case we say that it is better to divorce. But if there is no shar’i reason or ordinary reason, then it is better not to divorce, rather in that case divorce is makrooh. End quote.
Liqaa’aat al-baab il-Maftooh, no. 55, question no. 3
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Who Am I?
01-19-2012, 03:36 AM
:sl:

I didn't know where to post this, but it seems appropriate here. I returned to the masjid tonight for Ishaa prayer. I spoke to a brother there for an hour after, and he gave me some advice on what I can to reinvent myself. In fact, it was the same brother that I first talked to the first time I visited last year.

Other brothers asked me where I had been, so people did notice I was gone.

So much for me being able to ninja my way into the back.

Anyway, I feel a little better about things now.
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Aprender
01-19-2012, 03:59 AM
Glad to hear that. I think it's nice to have a community of Muslims around you to help you with everything. Unfortunately for me I live in an area with a church on every corner and the masjid is very far away. Once I had my dad drop me off at school and then I subsequently snuck away for a project along the way and ended up at the masjid.

While I was there a group of people were getting a tour of the place because they wanted to become Muslim too. It made me smile :)

But I know what you mean about reinventing yourself. I gave up a lot of worldly things after I became Muslim and it's been very tough. I used to work in the music industry on the behind the scenes side of everything. I was the one that people called all the time after they had a rough night out partying with the media and industry elites and began to question what they were doing with their lives...which lead me to question what I was promoting. I remember once a 9 year old girl said that she idolized one of the artists I was helping promote and looking at that artist, she barely had any clothes on, didn't have much of an education at all and cared so much about what other people thought of her that she didn't really know who she was as a person. And the work that I was doing was telling that little 9-year-old child that that was success. That was what a real woman was supposed to be. Astaghfirullah...

I'm really glad you went back to the masjid though. It seems like it's proven to be a great source of comfort for ya. Since I can't go, I read the Quran a lot. It gets me back on track when things get tough and I start to forget why I am doing all of this. Alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen.
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Amat Allah
01-19-2012, 04:32 AM
I wish I could be there where you are just to be with ya for Allah`s sake...

May Allah ease everything for all Muslims and always Be their guider till all enter the highest level of the Paradise without any reckoning Ameeen
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Who Am I?
01-19-2012, 04:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aprender
Glad to hear that. I think it's nice to have a community of Muslims around you to help you with everything. Unfortunately for me I live in an area with a church on every corner and the masjid is very far away. Once I had my step dad drop me off at school and then I subsequently snuck away for a project along the way and ended up at the masjid.

While I was there a group of people were getting a tour of the place because they wanted to become Muslim too. It made me smile :)

But I know what you mean about reinventing yourself. I gave up a lot of worldly things after I became Muslim and it's been very tough. I used to work in the music industry on the behind the scenes side of everything. I was the one that people called all the time after they had a rough night out partying with the media and industry elites and began to question what they were doing with their lives...which lead me to question what I was promoting. I remember once a 9 year old girl said that she idolized one of the artists I was helping promote and looking at that artist, she barely had any clothes on, didn't have much of an education at all and cared so much about what other people thought of her that she didn't really know who she was as a person. And the work that I was doing was telling that little 9-year-old child that that was success. That was what a real woman was supposed to be. Astaghfirullah...

I'm really glad you went back to the masjid though. It seems like it's proven to be a great source of comfort for ya. Since I can't go, I read the Quran a lot. It gets me back on track when things get tough and I start to forget why I am doing all of this. Alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen.
:sl:

I can relate to that. I live in the deep South of the USA, known as the "Bible Belt", but should more accurately be called the "Church Belt". I can think of at least 5 churches in a 1-mile radius from my house (most of them Baptist churches at that). The masjid is a 30 minute drive across town, so I don't go every day, but will try to go once or twice a week.

Anyway, it hasn't been easy, even after I took my shahada. I jumped into Islam with both feet because it was new, and different, and I wanted to better myself. But I think that I tried to do too much too quickly, and then I became frustrated, and then angry, and then I was angry that I was angry.

I have also met with some resistance from friends and family members, and that hurt. I didn't outright tell them about my conversion, but I mentioned that I was studying Islam and reading Qur'an and that I liked a lot of things about it. Their reaction was about what you can expect from Christians who have been told a bunch of lies about Islam. I felt a little betrayed that the people I thought would support me in my efforts to better myself told me that I was wrong for choosing this path.

So I became angry about this, and I quit everything for a few months. I went back to my old habits. I still wanted to be a better man, but I thought that I could do it on my own. Of course, now I realize that I can't do it on my own. I want to like who I am, and right now, I don't. I have to learn how to love myself first. Only then can I become who I am supposed to be.

I hate having to keep things hidden from my friends and family, but I feel that it is necessary for the time being. I want to show the world that I am a better man before I tell them why and how.
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Aprender
01-19-2012, 06:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Who Am I?
Anyway, it hasn't been easy, even after I took my shahada. I jumped into Islam with both feet because it was new, and different, and I wanted to better myself. But I think that I tried to do too much too quickly, and then I became frustrated, and then angry, and then I was angry that I was angry.
Haha. I did the exact same thing! Except I took my shahada and then for a few months I was away in another state away from my family for an internship so I had more freedom to be a Muslim. At first I didn't wear hijab but then I connected with other Muslim sisters in the city and I began to test the hijab out and it wasn't so bad so I decided to stay with it. Now I feel naked if I go outside without it on.

But then when I came back home that's when all of the trouble started. On the way back to the airport I put on my hijab. I wondered if I'd get harassed but Allah swt made it easy for me. The man who checked me in was a Muslim. The TSA agent was a Muslim woman. She just smiled at me and let me walk through. No trouble at all. The people I was sitting next to on the plane were smiling at me and complaining about the flight and their lives and a little girl even decided to play with me while we waited. I remember it was the first morning of Ramadan, still dark and I had a window seat. I was up in the clouds with a great view of the stars and I had the most amazing feeling being up there. I can't even explain the happiness and peace I felt...

But then when I landed my dad was wondering why I had the scarf on my head and then he noticed I hadn't taken it off after weeks...and he started to get upset and question why I was doing it. Funny thing is that my family aren't practicing Christians so it confused me a little bit why he was so upset about Islam. That and the fact that he's known Muslims from where he grew up and had nothing but nice to say about them. And on top of that I told both of my parents months before I converted that I was hanging out with Muslims now and I like the religion and I think I'd end up with it. But other than that, I lost my best friend because of my conversion. I lost all of the people who were only my friend because of what I could do for them (which I totally don't mind) but it does kind of feel weird to me because I am at home all the time aside from school. Can't go to the masjid when I want to. I don't get invited to any album release parties anymore. No one asks me to sample songs from their new album anymore. I miss out on trips to other countries because I'm out of that life now. It's just weird because it was all I knew for about 10 years of my life. But alhamdulillah the friends I have gained in Islam are so amazing. I never could imagine having friends like the sisters that I know now. It is indeed a blessing from Allah swt.

The difference is that even though sometimes I want to quit Islam and just stop doing it, I don't believe I could sustain myself. I think I'd actually just end up having a nervous breakdown because I was nearing that before I took my shahada. One thing that I learned about being in the music industry is that success is so very temporary. You're only awesome and amazing until someone more awesome and amazing comes along and then you're forgotten. I am already forgotten by most people in my old life. It's like I never existed. I did jump into Islam too fast. Deleted all of my music from my iPod. Stopped talking and hanging out with my male friends. I learned as many surahs as I could in Arabic then recited them in my prayer not knowing what some of them meant. So I stopped saying the other surahs, stuck to al fatihah and now I am taking my time learning the meaning of the others verses I learned so my prayer is not empty and powerless.

Since then it's been really tough and subhaanAllah I am getting seriously tested but from all of this I am still very happy. I didn't want to hide my conversion from my family because I was tired of letting other people tell me who I was going to be. I am my own woman. And I refuse to live a lie. I just wanted to be free and freedom for me is in Islam. They just were going to have to learn to deal with it and get over it.

And trust me, I do have family members who talk about me. They say I'm possessed by the devil, following that evil religion with those demons ;D . That I'm never going to get a job. Or get married lol. In fact I've had two job offers with my hijab ON. Problem is they need to let me graduate from the university first. But I've actually had people around here chase me out of a parking lot and injure me because of my hijab, but whatever. I have Allah swt and I pray that those poor people learn the truth soon too.
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Who Am I?
01-19-2012, 07:17 PM
:sl:

Well you are braver than I am, sister. I haven't worked up to really telling anyone yet. They know that I have been studying Islam and they know that I have been reading the Qur'an and learning parts of it. But that's all that they know.

I've tried to play it off as just me wanting to improve myself, but I may as well have said I was worshipping Satan judging by their reaction. As I said, I felt a bit hurt and angry that the people who should support me suddenly starting fighting me about it. I have had several heated disagreements with some Christian friends of mine, and my parents as well. That was one reason I quit. I felt like I was letting down everyone around me, and I hated myself for it.

Then too unfortunately I have had disagreements with some brothers (both online and at masjid) about certain things pertaining to Islam. That also discouraged me for a while, and is one big reason why I walked away from it for a few months. Now I am slowly trying to make my way back, but I'm taking my time with it. I am slowly trying to implement certain rules into my life. I am slowly working my way up to praying 5 times a day and doing the prayers correctly. I am trying not to listen to those who tell me that I am doing it wrong, and that I should be doing more, etc.
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Aprender
01-19-2012, 07:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Who Am I?
Then too unfortunately I have had disagreements with some brothers (both online and at masjid) about certain things pertaining to Islam. That also discouraged me for a while, and is one big reason why I walked away from it for a few months. Now I am slowly trying to make my way back, but I'm taking my time with it. I am slowly trying to implement certain rules into my life. I am slowly working my way up to praying 5 times a day and doing the prayers correctly. I am trying not to listen to those who tell me that I am doing it wrong, and that I should be doing more, etc.
This is a major, major problem. I have noticed this too and even here on IB. One of the things that seriously upset me the most was people telling me that I'm not wearing proper hijab if I don't wear a black abaya. It sucks because you expect your brothers and sisters in Islam to be more understanding as I always thought that Islam was not meant to be HARD but it seems like people here want to make it more difficult. I get disgusted when I come on here sometimes and people say, "You're wearing the wrong hijab because you're not wearing an abaya." OK. Then you give me $1,000 to buy an entirely new wardrobe and then open up an abaya shop around here so I can get some to get me through the week. And to top it off, where I live, walking around wearing all black is going to cause major problems. Imagine me walking into a bank wearing all black in America. I'll disappear. It's so easy to talk about other people but it's different when you're actually living in that situation. Life for us Muslims in America is not the same as those who have the ability of openly practicing Islam in some of the other countries where it is more accepted to be a Muslim. Instead of criticizing us, I wish they'd just make dua for us.

It hurts me to see Muslims abroad who talk bad about those of us Muslims who live in the United States. The last time I checked this Earth that we live on belongs to Allah swt. So don't tell me that I am wrong or an enemy to Islam because I live here over some imaginary border lines. Pfft. I guess before I took my shahada I expected my family members and friends not to understand it and to disapprove of it for me. They don't know anything about it. They've been lied to. I anticipated the hurt from that. But what I did not anticipate were other brothers and sisters in Islam working hard to make me leave the deen because I wasn't doing it the way that they do where they live when they have more resources available to them to follow the Sunnah a little better. That is really what hurts me. This in and of itself is a test...

You are right to work on getting your prayer on track. That is the an important pillar of Islam because without it, then what? It's good that you are coming back to the prayer slowly and trying to do it right. I'll keep you in my dua brother.
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Who Am I?
01-19-2012, 08:58 PM
:sl:

I appreciate the dua, and will return the same whenever I can.

You are right about being a Muslim living in a Western secular society. There are special challenges that we face, especially as converts who were not born to Islam. That doesn't make us any better than born Muslims, but it doesn't make us any worse either.

I myself once believed the lies that are told about Islam, lies that are perpetuated by a mass media machine that is part of a larger conspiracy to dumb us down and force certain ideologies upon the masses. I myself used to hate Islam and Muslims. I myself was even part of a White Nationalist forum for a short time, during my period of anger and self-hatred. I bought into the lies.

Shortly after I learned the truth about Islam, I revisited that forum, and made the mistake of sharing what I had learned. As you can imagine, I was very quickly branded as a traitor to my race and to my country. I have since deactivated my account and left that forum, for obvious reasons. Not because of what I faced after I learned the truth, but because I could not justify my being there when I knew the truth. I could not be a part of the lie anymore.

Anyway, my advice to you is, don't listen to those around you who tell you that you're wrong, whether or not those people are believers. You're not living your life for anyone else anyway. You're living your life for yourself, and for Allah. This is all that you need to remember. It is all that I need to remember. It is all that anyone needs to remember. Love God, respect yourself, and respect your fellow man. The rest is just details.
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Hamza Asadullah
01-19-2012, 10:27 PM
:sl:

There is no good in the approach of some people when instead of trying to helping, guide or advise others they attack and become harsh and criticise. Such an approach only makes another person rebel and become defensive. Rather one should try and help others by being gentle, polite and using knowledge, wisdom and tact. We should refer them to people of knowledge and involve them in the community and in activities and even social events and outings etc.

So it is unfortunate that you have come across such people but you should realise that most of us have come across such people in our lives and will continue to do so. It is a fact of life. Most of us will always come across people in our lives who will criticise, attack and put us down. It doesnt even have to be regarding religion it could be at work, school, university and especially within our own families, relatives, friends etc.

But that should never stop us from disregarding or rejecting the advice of those who do approach us in a good manner and are genuinely trying to help and guide us towards the right path. As Muslims we refer to those who know and those who know are the scholars and the learned and those with knowledge and wisdom. We should try and sit with the scholars and the learned as much as we can, as well as partake in beneficial Islamic courses and lectures etc. We should try and keep the pious as company or at least those Muslims with good morals, character and behaviour.
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Who Am I?
01-19-2012, 10:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza Asadullah
:sl:

So it is unfortunate that you have come across such people but you should realise that most of us have come across such people in our lives and will continue to do so. It is a fact of life. Most of us will always come across people in our lives who will criticise, attack and put us down. It doesnt even have to be regarding religion it could be at work, school, university and especially within our own families, relatives, friends etc.
:wa:

I'm going to be frank and honest here, and I'm not doing it to dishonor anyone in this forum. I want you all to know that.

One reason I left for a while is because of some opposition that I faced here. I won't go into details, but it made me angry and disillusioned me, so I left. Not only did I leave the forum, but I left Islam for a little while. I fell back into old habits, because I felt that I would never be able to accomplish what I am trying to do in improving myself. So then I became "the angry white guy" that everyone saw here. I apologize to everyone here and now if anything I said back then hurt anyone else. I was hurt and didn't know how to deal with that.

So I did what I always do when I'm hurt. I ran away and hid. For a long time, I was content to let the world go on around me, without me. I figured that nobody would care. Nobody would notice if I was gone. People didn't want me here anyway, so who cares what I do? I still knew that I believed in God, and that was good enough for me.

But I finally realized that I can't hide forever. I will have to deal with these people, as you said. I can't run away from them every time I get into conflict with them. But I have to handle it the right way. I can't be the Angry White Guy anymore.

This is why I returned. This is why I am Reinventing Myself. Who Am I? remains to be seen, but at least I know more about who I don't want to be...
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Hamza Asadullah
01-19-2012, 11:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Who Am I?
:wa:

I'm going to be frank and honest here, and I'm not doing it to dishonor anyone in this forum. I want you all to know that.

One reason I left for a while is because of some opposition that I faced here. I won't go into details, but it made me angry and disillusioned me, so I left. Not only did I leave the forum, but I left Islam for a little while. I fell back into old habits, because I felt that I would never be able to accomplish what I am trying to do in improving myself. So then I became "the angry white guy" that everyone saw here. I apologize to everyone here and now if anything I said back then hurt anyone else. I was hurt and didn't know how to deal with that.

So I did what I always do when I'm hurt. I ran away and hid. For a long time, I was content to let the world go on around me, without me. I figured that nobody would care. Nobody would notice if I was gone. People didn't want me here anyway, so who cares what I do? I still knew that I believed in God, and that was good enough for me.

But I finally realized that I can't hide forever. I will have to deal with these people, as you said. I can't run away from them every time I get into conflict with them. But I have to handle it the right way. I can't be the Angry White Guy anymore.

This is why I returned. This is why I am Reinventing Myself. Who Am I? remains to be seen, but at least I know more about who I don't want to be...
Well you have our full support my brother. We are as one as are all of the Ummah. It may be a cliche to say Allah is with you but it is reality that Allah is with those who are patient. This life is about striving and persevering. It is not meant to be easy. We will fail but that is how we learn. The main thing is that we keep going and keep trying our best. That we have good intentions and are sincere in all that we do.

Always trust in Allah and keep your hopes and faith in him. He lead you to Islam so surely he will continue to guide you as long as you ask of hiom and make the effort. Take small steps towards him and he will take large leaps towards you. Leave that which does not concern you and put time into that which does.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next. Ameen
Reply

Amat Allah
01-20-2012, 01:14 AM
I am so sorry to hear that too and in shaa Allah that person is not me and if I ever would hurt your feelings O my respected brother just tell me and I apologise for whatever you may read here or face from our brothers and sisters and firstly from me...please accept my apology O my noble brother and whatever behaviour you may dislike from anyone here then by Allah it is not from Islam and far it be from it...cause the religion of Allah is perfect and won`t allow anyone from its follower to be unrespected with others even those who are non muslims...

may Allah guide your way always and forever O brother and the whole world too Ameeeeeeen

take care of your precious self in shaa Allah...

leaving ya under Allah`s sight, care and protection...

Humbly, your sister no matter what you are:

Amat Allah
Reply

Who Am I?
01-20-2012, 02:53 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Amat Allah
I am so sorry to hear that too and in shaa Allah that person is not me and if I ever would hurt your feelings O my respected brother just tell me and I apologise for whatever you may read here or face from our brothers and sisters and firstly from me...please accept my apology O my noble brother and whatever behaviour you may dislike from anyone here then by Allah it is not from Islam and far it be from it...cause the religion of Allah is perfect and won`t allow anyone from its follower to be unrespected with others even those who are non muslims...

may Allah guide your way always and forever O brother and the whole world too Ameeeeeeen

take care of your precious self in shaa Allah...

leaving ya under Allah`s sight, care and protection...

Humbly, your sister no matter what you are:

Amat Allah
:sl:

Nope, sister. It was not you. I will only say that much to ease your troubled mind.

In other news, my weekend just got a bit more interesting, and not necessarily in a good way. A non-Muslim friend of mine has invited me to an anniversary party for his parents who are celebrating their 50th anniversary. Some of his family is attending from out of town, including one of his female relatives in whom I was interested in about a year ago (before Islam). I have been informed that this woman is newly single after being in a long relationship. So yeah, things just got a little more awkward for Mr. Nerd over here. I can't even figure out who I'm supposed to be right now and I get thrown this curve?

I'll be doing some praying tonight and tomorrow....
Reply

Amat Allah
01-20-2012, 11:52 AM
May Be with ya protecting ya from all harm and evil and the whole Ummah too Ameeeeen
Reply

Who Am I?
01-20-2012, 04:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Amat Allah
May Be with ya protecting ya from all harm and evil and the whole Ummah too Ameeeeen
:sl:

Well, here's the thing. It's no secret that I'm socially awkward when it comes to women. Along with alcohol, women are my biggest weakness, no doubt. This is one reason that Islam appeals to me so much. The seperation of genders allows me to concentrate on bettering myself without any distractions.

But it's time for this awkward nerd to step up and become a man. This is either going to be a test from Allah or a trick of Shaytan. Either way, it is a test that I must face, and a lesson that I must learn...
Reply

Amat Allah
01-21-2012, 02:15 AM
I believe that you are a man enough to get over this in shaa Allah O my respected and noble brother , May Allah bless ya Ameeeeeeeen

and also, try your best to lower your gaze as much as you can cause that would help alot of course with the trust of Allah and remembering that whenever you try to walk to Him The Exalted to please Him then He The Most Merciful runs to ya...laa ilaha illa Allah...

May Allah be with ya always and May He The Most Merciful make ya amongst His best slaves and servants Ameeeeeen

rememebr always, Allah Is with us and he Is our strength laa ilaha ila Allah...
Reply

Composer
01-21-2012, 06:36 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Who Am I?
:sl:

But it's time for this awkward nerd to step up and become a man. This is either going to be a test from Allah or a trick of Shaytan. Either way, it is a test that I must face, and a lesson that I must learn...
I would be interested in you stating why you feel you can ' blame a Shaytan ' for your own choices?

If this Thread is not appropriate please start a New one and we can discuss your excuses, especially re: your excuses in trying to blame your imaginary adversary Shaytan?

Thank you
Reply

Who Am I?
01-21-2012, 07:06 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Composer
I would be interested in you stating why you feel you can ' blame a Shaytan ' for your own choices?

If this Thread is not appropriate please start a New one and we can discuss your excuses, especially re: your excuses in trying to blame your imaginary adversary Shaytan?

Thank you
:sl:

Well I could cop out and just say that "it's the American way". ;D Blame everyone else for your actions. Because hey, it's what you do, right?

Anyway, the only choice I made is to not worry about this anymore.

I would be interested in knowing why you think that there is no God (or no Shaytan). I used to be an atheist myself.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
02-02-2012, 12:28 AM
Weekly classes for New Muslims & Non Muslims in London UK

1. The East London Mosque has weekly sessions and support for new Muslims like teaching the basics of Islam how to perform ablution, prayer etc. Check the link for more details including how to contact them:

http://www.eastlondonmosque.org.uk/s...%20&%20Support

2. The London Central Mosque have weekly classes on Sundays for New Muslims and free for Non Muslims:

Note: Non-Muslims can attend the class,
No registration, No fees.
Date: Every Sunday

Time: 12:30- 1:30pm

(Men & Women)

Location: Room No. 3

Click on the following link for more details:

http://www.iccuk.org/index.php?article=1&eanum3=3#ea3

If anyone needs any help, resources or to locate any New Muslim groups or classes in your area then please let me know so I could try and help.
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-05-2012, 12:54 AM
the east london one u posted can u bring ur children its saturday and no one else can loook after them
Reply

SFatima
02-05-2012, 04:52 PM
:sl:

I am also extremely sorry" Who AM I" If I ever have said anything which hurt you, and I must apologize from everyone else's side too, please know that this was not our intention. I will just add that its true that things can become quite difficult once we're on our journey to improve and better ourselves as a muslim; things were quite difficult for the Prophet and his companions as well, they were tortured, thrown sharp rocks at, abandoned by their community without any shelter or food for 3 long yrs in a cave, ridiculed by kaafirs, insulted verbally and socially and etc.

So if it gives you any comfort, you being tested is a great honor from Allah swt since those who were tested tough enough were the ones who raised their ranks much higher in the eyes of Allah swt, it is much much easier being raised a muslim than being a revert one with so much to learn and practice, maybe at this time it seems dark or disappointing, but think of it this way, may be if you just persist, just a little more and instill positive thoughts into your mind, maybe thats all Allah requires from you and you ace this test with flying colors and abundant blessings, inshAllah.

As a sage man once said that whenever we purchase something expensive and of good value from the market, we want that product to withstand all temperatures, pressures and all climatic conditions since we're investing so much in it, we want the best results out of it, and when we do get those results out of it , it becomes our favorite item and we appreciate it to everyone around us. However if it falls short of any of its claim, it loses its value in our eyes.

Same is the case with man, why then , when Allah CHOOSES us as the valuable one , we tend to feel lithargic, dismayed and disappointed when He tests us with what we claim? By Allah , we are not burdened with things that we cannot take, so always know that if you're going through this difficult patch, Allah knows and TRUSTS you to ace it, it is mostly w,e that we loose faith in ourselves in a jiffy and fall short of our own expectations, when Allah swt is actually helping us raise our ranks and our eeman. Trust yourself and trust Allah that He will not leave you, no matter what trials he puts you through.

" Surely, after every trial, there is a relief" a verse from Quran.

MAy Allah swt be with you forever and may you be stead fast in your journey with utmost faith, ameen.
Reply

Who Am I?
02-05-2012, 09:19 PM
:wa:

Sister SFatima, you have nothing to apologize for. You were one of the few who offered me support back then and I thank you for it.

I am learning some lessons from recent events in my life, lessons that I know I must learn if I am ever to become the man I am supposed to be.

It's interesting, though; all of my life, teachers, parents, employers, etc would always tell me that I had so much potential to become something more than who I am. For a long time, I just ignored this, because I never really cared enough to want to better myself. I was content to be lazy and unmotivated. Now I realize that I can't live my life this way, so I am taking steps to better myself. This is what brings me back to here.
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-10-2012, 12:59 PM
i have another question.....its kinda embrassing
i was reading the thread major sins and in the list there was 36. Not protecting oneself from urine..
anyways ever since ive had my two children whenever i cough or sneezing alittle urine comes out this thats a sin?( i wear a pad also) even through i cant help it?
Reply

Karimah
02-11-2012, 01:27 AM
Hey Marina28 I have never heard of this, could you please post a URL to the specific post you are referring too? Also what source did the poster use for that to be a sin?
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-11-2012, 07:05 AM
Originally Posted by Moneeb
AA wa rahmatiallah warabakto

I read this the advice section, as I cannot reply in that section I posted here.. This is the post I saw..

I wanna know the list of major sins so I can avoid them. I would also appreciate to given the list of minor sins as well and have given a description how you commit that sin. JazakAllah Khair


The Major Sins

--Al-Kaba'r--


The major sins are those acts which have been forbidden by Allah in the Quran and by His Messenger (SAW) in the Sunnah (practise of the Prophet), and which have been made clear by the actions of of the first righteous generation of Muslims, the Companions of the Prophet (SAW).
Allah Most High says in His Glorious Book:

If you avoid the major (part) of what you have been forbidden (to do), We will cancel out for you your (other) evil deeds and will admit you (to Paradise) with a noble entry. (al-Nisa 4:31)

Thus by this verse, Allah Most High has guaranteed the Garden of Paradise to those who avoid the major sins. And Allah Most High also says:
Those who avoid the greatest of sins and indecencies, and forgive when they are angry (al-Shra 42:37) Those who avoid the greatest sins and indecencies, except for oversights, (will find that) surely your Lord is ample in forgiveness. (Al-Najm 53:32)

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "The five [daily] prayers, Friday to Friday, and Ramadan to Ramadan make atonement for what has happenned since the previous one when major sins have been avoided." It is therefore very important to determine exactly what the greatest vices, technically called "the major sins" (Kaba'ir), are, in order that Muslims should avoid them.

There is some difference of opinion among scholars in this regard. Some say these major sins are seven, and in support of their position they quote the tradition: "Avoid the seven noxious things"- and after having said this, the propeht (SAW) mentioned them: "associating anything with Allah; magic; killing one whom Allah has declared inviolate without a just case, consuming the property of an orphan, devouring usury, turning back when the army advances, and slandering chaste women who are believers but indiscreet." (Bukhari and Muslim)

'Abdullah ibn 'Abbas said: "Seventy is closer to their number than seven," and indeed that is correct. The above tradition does not limit the major sins to those mentioned in it. Rather, it points to the type of sins which fall into the category of "major." These include those crimes which call for a prescribed punishment (HADD; plural, HUDUD), such as theft, fornication or adultery (ZINA), and murder; those prohibited acts for which a warning of a severe punishment in the Next is given in the Qur'an or the tradition; and also those deeds which are cursed by our Prophet (SAW). These are all major sins.

Of course, there is a gradation among them, since some are more serious than others. We see that the Prophet (SAW) has included SHIRK (associating someone or something with Allah) among them, and from the text of the Qur'an we know that a person who commits SHIRK will not his sin be forgiven and will remain in Hell forever.

Allah Most High says: Surely, Allah does not forgive associating anything with Him, and He forgives whatever is other than that to whomever He wills. (al-Nisa 4:48 and 116)

01. Associating anything with Allah
02. Murder
03. Practising magic
04. Not Praying
05. Not paying Zakat
06. Not fasting on a Day of Ramadan without excuse
07. Not performing Hajj, while being able to do so
08. Disrespect to parents
09. Abandoning relatives
10. Fornication and Adultery
11. Homosexuality(sodomy)
12. Interest(Riba)
13. Wrongfully consuming the property of an orphan
14. Lying about Allah and His Messenger
15. Running away from the battlefield
16. A leader's deceiving his people and being unjust to them
17. Pride and arrogance
18. Bearing false witness
19. Drinking Khamr (wine)
20. Gambling
21. Slandering chaste women
22. Stealing from the spoils of war
23. Stealing
24. Highway Robbery
25. Taking false oath
26. Oppression
27. Illegal gain
28. Consuming wealth acquired unlawfully
29. Committing suicide
30. Frequent lying
31. Judging unjustly
32. Giving and Accepting bribes
33. Woman's imitating man and man's imitating woman
34. Being cuckold
35. Marrying a divorced woman in order to make her lawful for the husband
36. Not protecting oneself from urine
37. Showing-off
38. Learning knowledge of the religion for the sake of this world and concealing that knowledge
39. Bertrayal of trust
40. Recounting favours
41. Denying Allah's Decree
42. Listening (to) people's private conversations
43. Carrying tales
44. Cursing
45. Breaking contracts
46. Believing in fortune-tellers and astrologers
47. A woman's bad conduct towards her husband
48. Making statues and pictures
49. Lamenting, wailing, tearing the clothing, and doing other things of this sort when an affliction befalls
50. Treating others unjustly
51. Overbearing conduct toward the wife, the servant, the weak, and animals
52. Offending one's neighbour
53. Offending and abusing Muslims
54. Offending people and having an arrogant attitude toward them
55. Trailing one's garment in pride
56. Men's wearing silk and gold
57. A slave's running away from his master
58. Slaughtering an animal which has been dedicated to anyone other than Allah
59. To knowingly ascribe one's paternity to a father other than one's own
60. Arguing and disputing violently
61. Witholding excess water
62. Giving short weight or measure
63. Feeling secure from Allah's Plan
64. Offending Allah's righteous friends
65. Not praying in congregation but praying alone without an excuse
66. Persistently missing Friday Prayers without any excuse
67. Unsurping the rights of the heir through bequests
68. Deceiving and plotting evil
69. Spying for the enemy of the Muslims
70. Cursing or insulting any of the Companiions of Allah's Messenger




Source: http://www.themodernreligion.com/misc/hh/major_sins.htm
Reply

Amat Allah
02-11-2012, 11:08 AM
Oh my sweetheart Marina (may Allah be pleased with ya Ameeen)

What is meant by avoiding urine

I read a hadeeth of the Prophet (blessings and peace ofAllah be upon him) which says to “avoid urine because most of the punishment ofthe grave is because of it.”.
Praise be to Allaah.

Thishadeeth is good and was narrated by al-Haakim in his Saheeh. The words of theProphet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) are: “Avoid urine, for mostof the punishment of the grave is because of it.” According to another version:“Most of the punishment of the grave is because of urine.” What it means is toavoid urine and be careful about it. If a person wants to urinate, he shouldurinate in a place where the surface is soft (like soil) or in a toilet, sothat drops of urine will not splash back on him. Thisapplies to both men and women: they should pay attention to this matter. Urineshould be in a place where it will not splash back on one. If some of that getsonto the thigh or foot, one should pour water on it and wash the place where ittouched, so as get rid of the urine. If thesurface is soft or the individual makes sure that his urine lands in the toiletwhere it will be washed away when flushing, so that nothing will splash backonto him, that is sufficient. However,avoiding urine and being careful about it is good. If it so happens that theurine hits the edge of the toilet and splashes back on the thigh or calf, thenboth men and women have to wash it off in that case. End quote. Shaykh ‘Abdal-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb, 2/657
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/146706

and that is the meaning of protecting yourself from urine; it is to not make it splash on you while you are in the bathroom and if it did then you need to clean that place with water thats it

and in your case with the drops which get out while coughing , sneezing and even laughing; you are allready protecting yourself by wearing a pad so, just clean yourself and change it before wudu and perform your prayer and even if there was no pad and you just had them into your underwear then it is enough for ya to clean your underwear before making wudu or change it after cleaning yourself...

don`t worry, this Deen is simple ; it is the Deen of Rahmah (mercy)...

I wanted to send ya this as PM but there are many who may need to read this too so, I just posted it here...

May Allah love you, Be pleased with ya and make ya from the best of His servants and slaves Ameeeeeeen

take care of your precious self and family honey

leaving ya all under Allah`s sight care and protection

Humbly, your sister:

Amat Allah
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-11-2012, 01:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Amat Allah
Oh my sweetheart Marina (may Allah be pleased with ya Ameeen)



http://islamqa.info/en/ref/146706

and that is the meaning of protecting yourself from urine; it is to not make it splash on you while you are in the bathroom and if it did then you need to clean that place with water thats it

and in your case with the drops which get out while coughing , sneezing and even laughing; you are allready protecting yourself by wearing a pad so, just clean yourself and change it before wudu and perform your prayer and even if there was no pad and you just had them into your underwear then it is enough for ya to clean your underwear before making wudu or change it after cleaning yourself...

don`t worry, this Deen is simple ; it is the Deen of Rahmah (mercy)...

I wanted to send ya this as PM but there are many who may need to read this too so, I just posted it here...

May Allah love you, Be pleased with ya and make ya from the best of His servants and slaves Ameeeeeeen

take care of your precious self and family honey

leaving ya all under Allah`s sight care and protection

Humbly, your sister:

Amat Allah
ooooh good i was really worried, thank you for ur helpful post..
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
02-11-2012, 08:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina28
i have another question.....its kinda embrassing
i was reading the thread major sins and in the list there was 36. Not protecting oneself from urine..
anyways ever since ive had my two children whenever i cough or sneezing alittle urine comes out this thats a sin?( i wear a pad also) even through i cant help it?
As the sister mentioned it is only a major sin if one does not take care when urinating. So one must ensure that the urine does not soil ones clothes or go all over the floor and toilet etc. Not taking care when urinating is a major sin and one may be punished in the grave for it.

Regarding your issue then If urine soils your undergarment, then your clothing will become impure. For example, Salah with impure clothing will be invalid. You could avoid your undergarments from becoming impure by placing a tissue that will absorb the urine. At the time of salah, you should remove the soiled tissue and make wudu (ablition) and perform salah. If your undergarment gets soiled with urine, you should wash the soiled portion three times and squeeze it out each time and perform salah. You should not miss any salah or let any salah become qadha.

Source: http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.p...0a23469a6153ac

If you have any other questions or issues then please do not hesitate to ask in this thread.
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-11-2012, 08:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza Asadullah
As the sister mentioned it is only a major sin if one does not take care when urinating. So one must ensure that the urine does not soil ones clothes or go all over the floor and toilet etc. Not taking care when urinating is a major sin and one may be punished in the grave for it.

Regarding your issue then If urine soils your undergarment, then your clothing will become impure. For example, Salah with impure clothing will be invalid. You could avoid your undergarments from becoming impure by placing a tissue that will absorb the urine. At the time of salah, you should remove the soiled tissue and make wudu (ablition) and perform salah. If your undergarment gets soiled with urine, you should wash the soiled portion three times and squeeze it out each time and perform salah. You should not miss any salah or let any salah become qadha.

Source: http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.p...0a23469a6153ac

If you have any other questions or issues then please do not hesitate to ask in this thread.
okay thank you for all ur info too..i didnt know it was a sin to be honest..i knew u shouldnt get on u when u have to pray that was bout all i knew.
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-21-2012, 09:19 PM
Another question sorry i know ur not surpose to double post but..
now I've started work again a few Muslims come in the shop. Some greet me, I always seem to say it wrong.. Well to me it sounds wrong.. Usually I've said wa aliciome salam(sorry I don't know hw to spell it) is that right? Am I saying wrong? Is there like utube video I can watch so I can say it right?
Reply

Amat Allah
02-22-2012, 04:17 AM
Its ok my sweetheart, you can stay here all day long asking whatever you want ^^; this thread is as written above "Help & Support thread for New Muslims" so, it is for all new Muslims and for all the time in shaa Allah. May Allah love you and make ya amongst the best of His righteous slaves and servants Ameeeeeeen

Here you are honey, click and listen in shaa Allah:

As-Salāmu `Alaykum
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-22-2012, 09:57 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Amat Allah
Its ok my sweetheart, you can stay here all day long asking whatever you want ^^; this thread is as written above "Help & Support thread for New Muslims" so, it is for all new Muslims and for all the time in shaa Allah. May Allah love you and make ya amongst the best of His righteous slaves and servants Ameeeeeeen

Here you are honey, click and listen in shaa Allah:

As-Salāmu `Alaykum
Omg thank you, I thought i was saying wrong but I think I've been saying okay.. But thanx I didn't know hw to greet so I'm gonna keep practicing :)
Reply

Who Am I?
02-22-2012, 06:49 PM
:sl:

I usually just say "Duuuuuuuuude" to all of the brothers. ;D
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-22-2012, 07:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Who Am I?
:sl:

I usually just say "Duuuuuuuuude" to all of the brothers. ;D
Hahahahahahha u made me laugh out loud, wot if there as Salamu alaykum?u say dude?
Reply

Who Am I?
02-22-2012, 08:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina28

Hahahahahahha u made me laugh out loud, wot if there as Salamu alaykum?u say dude?
In that case, I say "Walaykum salaam, duuuuuuuuuude." ;D
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-22-2012, 09:51 PM
Hahahahhahahahahhahahahah I like u style man :)
Reply

Who Am I?
02-23-2012, 02:21 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina28
Hahahahhahahahahhahahahah I like u style man :)
Well, I am Who I Am, sister.

That's all I can say...
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-25-2012, 01:45 AM
Salam everyone,
I've been reading bout Satan bout the story hw he wouldnt bow for Adam cos he was made out of clay and Satan was made from fire. I search bout jinn I still don't get wot they do. Wot r there purposes? Why did allah make them? They have free will like us and there invisible so we can't see them and they can change in to things? Any help with this would be great thanx.
Reply

Amat Allah
02-25-2012, 11:25 AM
My dear and precious sister, Jinn are slaves and servants of Allah just like us, some of them are bad and some are good and some are Muslims and some are non and they have their own world so different from Human but still we are all creatures of Allah and we are all created to worship Allah alone with no partners so, the purpose of creating Jinn and Humans is one. May Allah help us all Jinn and Mankind to worship Him right and keep us all firm on His staright path always and Be pleased with us Ameeen

Here you are honey:

http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...orld-jinn.html

also see here:

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/13378
Reply

Marina-Aisha
02-25-2012, 01:02 PM
Thank you those were very helpful.
Reply

Marina-Aisha
03-03-2012, 09:01 PM
me again..i was just wondering all the things ur suppose to say..like when i go in shower or to be ot work that kinda thing

edit: also why is it bad to call someone kafir?
Reply

Amat Allah
03-04-2012, 05:19 AM
check on this honey:

http://www.islamic-download.com/down...wnload.com.pdf

audio files:

http://www.archive.org/details/HisnulMuslim

for the other part of your Q my sweetheart:

here you are some of the hadiths about this serious matter:

"Whoever calls his [Muslim] brother 'kafir', it becomes definitely true of one of the two."

Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim

'Ibn `Umar related that the Holy Prophet said: "If a Muslim calls another kafir, then if he is a kafir let it be so; otherwise, he [the caller] is himself a kafir".

Abu Dawud, Book of Sunna

"Abu Zarr reported that the Holy Prophet said: "No man accuses another man of being a sinner, or of being a kafir, but it reflects back on him if the other is not as he called him".

Narrated by al-Bukhari

"Withhold [your tongues] from those who say "There is no god but Allah" --- do not call them kafir. Whoever calls a reciter of "There is no god but Allah" as a kafir, is nearer to being a kafir himself".'

Tabarani, reported from Ibn Umar

"Three things are the basis of faith. [One is] to withhold from one who says "There is no god but Allah" --- do not call him kafir for any sin, nor expel him from Islam for any misconduct".

Narrated by Abu Dawud

"Whoever attributes kufr [unbelief] to a believer, he is like his murderer".

Narrated by Tirmidhi and Bukhari

" If a man calls his brother a non-Muslim (kafir), it returns upon one of them"

( Muslim (9.55), 1.79:60 ),

in shaa Allah someone else will explain the mattre for ya better...
Reply

Marina-Aisha
03-10-2012, 09:54 PM
Salam peeps,
I was just wondering wot days ur suppose to fast during the week. Also the rules, is it like Ramadan when u don't think bad thoughts u don't do naughty stuff with ur husband? And ur aloud to any eat when sun rises and goes down? Or is it different ? I know I sound like a complete ditzy idiot but I would really like to know the rules of fasting during the two days ur suppose to fast. Thanx
Reply

Amat Allah
03-11-2012, 11:18 AM
Days on which it is prescribed to observe naafil (supererogatory) fasts

Praise be to Allaah.
By His Wisdom, Allaah has prescribed that His slaves should voluntarily seek to draw closer to Him, after performing the obligatory acts of worship, by doing more of the same kinds of acts of worship, and He has assigned to that great rewards, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that his Lord said: “My slave does not draw near to Me with anything more beloved to Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My slave continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I will love him, When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, he seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it.” (al-Bukhaari, 6502).
Naafil fasts fall into two main categories:
1 – General voluntary fasts (i.e., not restricted to any particular time or circumstances). The Muslim may observe a voluntary fast on any day of the year that he wishes, except those which are known to be forbidden, such as the two Eid days, on which fasting is haraam, and Ayaam al-Tashreeq (the three days following Eid al-Adha), on which fasting is haraam except on Hajj for those who do not have a hadiy (animal for sacrifice). Also excluded is deliberately singling out Friday for fasting, because it was reported that this is not allowed. One of the best forms of voluntary fasting is to fast alternate days for those who are able to do that, as it says in the hadeeth: “The most beloved prayer to Allaah is the prayer of Dawood (peace be upon him), and the most beloved fasting to Allaah is the fasting of Dawood. He used to sleep half the night, stand in prayer for one-third of the night, and sleep for one-sixth, and he used to fast alternate days.”

(al-Bukhaari, 1131; Muslim, 1159).

In order for this kind of fasting to be regarded as virtuous, it should not weaken a person and make him unable to do his primary duties, as it says in the hadeeth: “he used to fast alternate days, and he never ran away from battle (because he used to break his fast at times of jihad).”

(al-Bukhaari, 1977; Muslim, 1159)
2 – Specific voluntary fasts. These are superior to general voluntary fasts, and are of two types:
The first type is fasts which are specific to a type of person, such as young men who cannot get married, as mentioned in the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him): “We were young men with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and we did not have anything (i.e., we could not afford to get married). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us, ‘O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, then let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity. And whoever is not able to do that, then let him fast, for that will be a shield for him.’”

(al-Bukhaari, 5066; Muslim, 1400).
This kind of fasting is more emphasized so long as a person is single, and this prescription is more emphatic the more provocation there is. There is no mention of any specific number of days in this case.
The second type is fasts prescribed at specific times, which vary, with some being weekly, some monthly and some annual. The weekly fasts are on Monday and Thursday, on which days fasting is mustahabb. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was keen to fast on Mondays and Thursdays.”

(al-Nasaa’i, 2320; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, 4827).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about fasting on Mondays and Thursdays, and he said: “Those are two days on which people’s deeds are shown to the Lord of the Worlds, and I want my deeds to be shown to Him when I am fasting.”

(al-Nasaa’i, 2358; Ibn Maajah, 1740; Ahmad, 8161; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1583).

He was asked about fasting on Mondays and he said, “On that day I was born and on that day revelation came to me.”

(Muslim, 1162).
With regard to the monthly fasts, it is mustahabb to fast on three days of each month. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “My close friend [i.e., the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] advised me to do three things which I will never give up until I die: fasting three days each month, praying Duha, and sleeping after praying Witr.”

(al-Bukhaari, 1178; Muslim, 721).

It is mustahabb to observe this fast in the middle of the hijri month, on the days called Ayaam al-Beed. It was narrated that Abu Dharr said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘If you fast any part of the month then fast on the thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth.’”

(al-Nasaa’i, 2424; Ibn Maajah, 1707; Ahmad, 210; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, 673).
Annual fasts are observed on specific days, or during periods when it is Sunnah to fast.
The specific days include the following:
1- The day of ‘Aashoora’ which is the tenth of Muharram. It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) was asked about fasting on the day of ‘Aashoora’. He said, “I do not know of any day on the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) fasted that was better than this day and any month that was better than this month, meaning Ramadaan.”

(al-Bukhaari, 2006; Muslim, 1132).

It is Sunnah to fast the day before or the day after along with ‘Aashoora’, in order to be different from the Jews.
2- The day of ‘Arafaah, which is the ninth day of Dhu’l-Hijjah. It is mustahabb only for those who are not standing in ‘Arafaah itself, as the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning the virtue of the three fasts mentioned above: “The observance of three days' fast every month and that of Ramadan every year is equivalent to fasting for the entire year. I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of ‘Arafaah may atone for the sins of the preceding and the coming years, and I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of ‘Aashoora’ may atone for the sins of the preceding year.”

(Muslim, 1162).
The periods during which it is Sunnah to fast include the following:
1- The month of Shawwaal. It is Sunnah to fast six days of Shawwaal, because the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever fasts Ramadaan then fasts six days of Shawwaal, it is as if he fasted for a lifetime.”

(Muslim, 1164). See also Question no. 7859.
2- The month of Muharraam: it is Sunnah to fast whatever one can of this month, because of the hadeeth: “The best of fasting after Ramadaan is the month of Allaah Muharram, and the best of prayer after the obligatory prayers is prayer at night (qiyaam al-layl).”

(Muslim, 1163).
3- The month of Sha’baan, as it was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to fast until we thought that he would never break his fast, and he would not fast until we thought that he would never fast. I never saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) fast an entire month apart from Ramadaan, and the month in which I saw him fast the most was Sha’baan. He used to fast all of Sha’baan or all of it apart from a few days.”

(al-Bukhaari, 1969; Muslim, 1156).
The Muslim who is keen to do good must realize the great virtue of performing voluntary fasts for the sake of Allaah, as it says in the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever fasts one day for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will keep his face seventy years’ distance from Hell,”

(al-Nasaa’i, 2247; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Nasaa’i, 2121).
We ask Allaah to make us among those whose faces He keeps far away from Hell and its heat, and to bless us with Paradise.
With regard to the precise timing of Suhoor and Iftaar:
As mentioned in the definition of fasting, fasting means abstaining from food, drink and all other things that break the fast from dawn until sunset, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night), then complete your Sawm (fast) till the nightfall”
[al-Baqarah 2:187]
So the fasting person must begin to abstain from things that break the fast when dawn begins and continue until the sun has set. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning the time of iftaar: “When the night has come from here and the day has gone from here, and the sun has set, then let the fasting person break his fast.” (al-Bukhaari, 1818; Muslim, 1841). With regard to the time of suhoor, the majority of fuqaha’ said that it is the time from the last half of the night until the second dawn. It is Sunnah to delay it, according to the majority of scholars, so long as the second dawn has not begun, because of the verse quoted above and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Hasten iftaar and delay suhoor.” (Narrated by al-Tabaraani and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3989).

The purpose of suhoor is to give one strength to fast, so the closer it is to dawn the more effective it will be in helping one to fast. We ask Allaah to make us among those who adhere to His laws and act according to them.

May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad.
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/21979

for the other part of your Q then , it is exactly like fasting Ramadaan except that fasting Ramadaan is obligatory, and it is not permissible for a person to break such a fast unless there is a legitimate shar’i reason( like: sickness, travelling...etc). also If a person starts to make up a missed fast of Ramadaan or the fasting which is an expiation for an oath or a vow, then he must complete it too and never break it till having a legitimate shar`i reason. He is not like one who is observing a naafil (supererogatory) fast, because in that case he is in charge of the matter; if he wishes he may break his fast and if he wishes he may continue it.
It was narrated that Umm Hani’ (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I broke my fast when I was fasting.” He said to her: “Were you making up anything?” She said: No.” He said: “Then it does not matter if you were observing a voluntary fast.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2456. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. This indicates that it would matter if she broke her fast when observing an obligatory fast. What is meant by “it would matter” here is that it would be a sin.

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/39752

hope that answers your Qs honey...May Allah make ya from the best of His servants and slaves and Be pleased with ya always Ameeeeen
Reply

Marina-Aisha
03-11-2012, 11:56 AM
Thank you that's very helpful.

Side note: if I person you know accepted Islam in there life and then later on decides they don't believe will they go in hellfire? Does that make them hypocrite in Islam? I'm very worried bout her. Thanx
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Hamza Asadullah
03-11-2012, 10:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina28
Thank you that's very helpful.

Side note: if I person you know accepted Islam in there life and then later on decides they don't believe will they go in hellfire? Does that make them hypocrite in Islam? I'm very worried bout her. Thanx
:sl:

I hope your last question was clarified and answered. So in summary it is recommended to fast Mondays and Thursdays and the 13th, 14th and 15th of every Islamic month (Not according to the Gregorian calendar). On top of that there are fasts throughout the year which we can also do which was answered ny sister Amat Allah's post. If you have anymore questions regarding voluntary fasting then please do not hesitate to ask.

Regarding your question about your friend then the best you can do is to try your best to help and support her and to try and get her to a person of knowledge so they can help her wit any questions, queries or any misconceptions she may have that she needs clarifying. On top of that make dua for her as much as possible. That is all you can do as guidance is only in the hands of Allah and not in ours. Although it is very sad we should hope that they will return to Allah as soon as possible.

May Allah guide her and all those who reverted to Islam and then left it again back to Islam again. Ameen
Reply

Marina-Aisha
03-12-2012, 06:28 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza Asadullah
:sl:

I hope your last question was clarified and answered. So in summary it is recommended to fast Mondays and Thursdays and the 13th, 14th and 15th of every Islamic month (Not according to the Gregorian calendar). On top of that there are fasts throughout the year which we can also do which was answered ny sister Amat Allah's post. If you have anymore questions regarding voluntary fasting then please do not hesitate to ask.

Regarding your question about your friend then the best you can do is to try your best to help and support her and to try and get her to a person of knowledge so they can help her wit any questions, queries or any misconceptions she may have that she needs clarifying. On top of that make dua for her as much as possible. That is all you can do as guidance is only in the hands of Allah and not in ours. Although it is very sad we should hope that they will return to Allah as soon as possible.

May Allah guide her and all those who reverted to Islam and then left it again back to Islam again. Ameen

Okay thank you, to be honest she has no intension of coming back to Islam. I will of course make dua but thats it.The rest is up to Allah only he knows her heart. Anyways thanks for answering me.
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Amat Allah
03-12-2012, 11:58 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina28
Thank you that's very helpful.
My pleasure my dear and you are very welcome my sweetheart at anytime...

Please, take care of your precious self and family in shaa Allah...

Fee 7ifzi Illah
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Marina-Aisha
03-21-2012, 10:57 PM
me again sorry

can muslim sister marry someone that is atheist?
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Hamza Asadullah
03-21-2012, 11:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina28
me again sorry

can muslim sister marry someone that is atheist?
:sl:

Dont be sorry for these threads are dedicated to help and support reverts like yourself. So please keep posting in these threads and dont apologise again :statisfie

Regarding your question then no it is not permissable for a woman to marry a non Muslim man until he has accepted the Shahada (the proclamation of faith) truly and properly from his heart and with his tongue and not just said it just to marry a Muslim woman.

Almighty Allah says:

“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember” [al-Baqarah 2:221]

Such a marriage is not acceptable in Islam and would therefore be void and so such a women would be living like an adulteress. Even Muslim men cannot marry an idolateress or an athiest women.

And Allah knows best in all matters
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Sumaiya54
03-23-2012, 10:42 PM
Asalaamu-Aleikum,

I am a new convert to Islam, and 13 years old. I am definetely not putting on hijab this year but dont know if I should during high or not, even though I want to I have some concerns of wearing it in public school and things like that. Is it okay if I wait until college to put hijab on?

Salaam :)
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Marina-Aisha
03-24-2012, 09:31 PM
Sorry I'm totally confused.........
Okay the first prayer in the morning is only 2 raka but most the others r 3 or 4. Once u do 2 raka do u start all over again to get to 4? I'm totally confused plz help my husband is away he can't help me. I get sense that I'm doing all my prayers wrong.
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Aprender
03-24-2012, 10:56 PM
Fajr prayer is just 2 rakat.
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Marina-Aisha
03-24-2012, 11:00 PM
i know i mean when u do the other prayers which are more then 2 raka to do u start from the beginning again?
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Aprender
03-24-2012, 11:05 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina-hadeya
i know i mean when u do the other prayers which are more then 2 raka to do u start from the beginning again?
Hmm. I'm not exactly sure I know what you mean. Explain to me how you pray the others :-)

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Marina-Aisha
03-24-2012, 11:14 PM
okay let me ask a different question wots the difference between 2 raka and for 4 raka?

edit: yea thats hw u do 2 raka..which im okay at but i dont get 4 raka....is it the same?
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Aprender
03-24-2012, 11:27 PM
Ah. It would be so much easier for me to just show you.

OK uhm...watch this video...an example of a prayer with 4 rakat

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Marina-Aisha
03-24-2012, 11:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aprender
Ah. It would be so much easier for me to just show you.

OK uhm...watch this video...an example of a prayer with 4 rakat

thank you thats very helpful ive added it to my faves on my utube account..i think i doing it okay but thats gonna help me more..thank you for having the patience with me..i know sometimes i cant explain properly wot im trying to say thanks again.
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Marina-Aisha
04-10-2012, 09:20 PM
Is there special dua I can make go get job?
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Marina-Aisha
05-19-2012, 08:07 AM
Salam are you allowed to go to mosque when you have your period? I don't want to go to pray but there is group for new Muslim at the mosque but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to enter I've search but I'm not sure
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~ Sabr ~
05-19-2012, 08:37 AM
:wasalamex


Menstruating woman entering the mosque to attend a class or a halaqah for memorizing Qur’aan

Menstruating women entering the mosque to listen to the khutbah

Can a menstruating woman sit in a mosque in which Jumu’ah prayers are not held?
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Marina-Aisha
05-19-2012, 09:01 AM
I guess not I thought so thank you for ur quick response
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~ Sabr ~
05-19-2012, 09:04 AM
You're welcome :statisfie
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Hamza Asadullah
07-02-2012, 11:30 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by marina-hadeya
Salam are you allowed to go to mosque when you have your period? I don't want to go to pray but there is group for new Muslim at the mosque but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to enter I've search but I'm not sure
:sl:

If the masjid is a permanent masjid that has been dedicated by the community for such and is considered a permanent endowment or like an endowment. This means that is not a rented apartment, house or industrial unit which is used temporarily until the community can afford to purchase a permanent place.

In the above case it would be permissible for menstruating women to enter into the prayer area and take part in classes. However, since it is used as a masjid for the daily prayers then menstruating women should not enter into the prayer area unnecessarily. It would be superior to arrange seating for all the women or at least the menstruating ones in an adjacent room. However, if this is not possible then menstruating women could also enter into the women's prayer area of the prayer hall.

In the case that it is a proper masjid then it would not be permissible for menstruating women to enter into the prayer area [the shar'i masjid] for this or other reasons. However, if there are multi-purpose rooms within the building which are not designated permanently for prayer (as is found in many Islamic centers nowadays), then menstruating women are allowed to enter into those rooms for classes. Basically, a masjid is the room or hall that has been permanently designated for prayer, even if there are other rooms in the building.


And Allah knows best.

Source: http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?...D=2110&CATE=32


So if your having your new Muslim classes in the main prayer hall where other worshippers come to pray their daily prayers then it will not be permissable for you to attend when you are on your menses, but if it is in a room or place in the Masjid not designated for daily prayers then you can attend. Hope that helps.
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Justin1
07-04-2012, 03:15 PM
I just have a really quick question. I am a new muslim convert, currently working on learning my prayers. My quick question is simply, after I learn my prayers and can do them well, what should I then try to start to learning? thank you.
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Aprender
07-04-2012, 05:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Justin1
I just have a really quick question. I am a new muslim convert, currently working on learning my prayers. My quick question is simply, after I learn my prayers and can do them well, what should I then try to start to learning? thank you.
:sl:
Nice to see other converts here from the USA too. After I learned how to do the prayers properly, I turned my attention to learning how to recite more chapters of the Quran in Arabic and the understanding of them in English. I also try to learn specific duas that I can make.

I'm still working on both. The next big thing you should do is learn Arabic. It can be intimidating at first but it will make a world of a difference for you to learn Arabic as a Muslim. I'm still working on that too. I want to read the Quran in Arabic and be able to understand it in that way to see the beauty in the way it is composed.
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Hamza Asadullah
07-05-2012, 06:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Justin1
I just have a really quick question. I am a new muslim convert, currently working on learning my prayers. My quick question is simply, after I learn my prayers and can do them well, what should I then try to start to learning? thank you.
:sl:

Mashallah brother. After learning the prayers you should concentrate on two things. They are: Learning to recite the Qur'an with the correct pronounciation (Tajweed) and also solidifying your knowledge on the basics of Islam. It is better if you can enrol in a class either in any of the Masjids in your area or Islamic centres or a similar establishment that teaches the basics of Islam.

There are many programmes for new Muslims running nowadays and you should try and find out if there is such a programme in your local area as that would be a good way to meet other like minded brothers and reverts of whom you can befriend as well as an opportunity of meeting good knowledgeable teachers and scholars of whom you can establish a contact with and that way they will help you in your journey to learn more knowledge and increase imaan (faith) and taqwa (fearful awareness of Allah) etc. Also try to learn the short Surah's (chapters) towards the end of the Qur'an as well as daily Adhkar (daily supplications).

Ensure that you do all of this gradually and at your own pace as the last thing you want to do is to over whelm yourself or to take on more than you can handle. Instead gradually build up pace and do things at your own speed.

If you ever need anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask.

Hope the links provided in the following thread helps:

Free E books & resources on Islam

http://www.islamicboard.com/discover...ces-islam.html

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next. Ameen
Reply

Aprender
07-10-2012, 04:14 AM
My question has to do with this issue of marriage. I know that in Islam if a guy wants to marry a girl he has to come and talk to the father about it before anything is made official. What about converts who don't have any Muslim male relatives? I come from a non-Muslim family and my parents don't care much for the way halal marriages are to come about in Islam.

Even if they did, would a marriage be exactly valid if a non-Muslim male relative approved of the guy and said it was OK?

I don't have any proposals or anything like that. I'm just wondering how that would work.
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ardianto
07-10-2012, 03:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aprender
My question has to do with this issue of marriage. I know that in Islam if a guy wants to marry a girl he has to come and talk to the father about it before anything is made official. What about converts who don't have any Muslim male relatives? I come from a non-Muslim family and my parents don't care much for the way halal marriages are to come about in Islam.

Even if they did, would a marriage be exactly valid if a non-Muslim male relative approved of the guy and said it was OK?

I don't have any proposals or anything like that. I'm just wondering how that would work.
Assalamualaikum, sister.

Non Muslim cannot become wali for Muslim woman. If a Muslim woman want to get married and she doesn't have any male relative who could become "wali nasab" for her, she could request a Muslim govt officer (or officer from sharia council) to become her wali. It's called "wali hakim". Or, she could request a scholar to become her wali. It's called "wali tahkim".

From what I know, usually Muslim convert in non-Muslim countries use wali tahkim from local Islamic center.
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Aprender
07-11-2012, 04:53 PM
OK. Then I should go to the Islamic center and talk to them about this. Thank you.
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Hamza Asadullah
07-23-2013, 02:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aprender
OK. Then I should go to the Islamic center and talk to them about this. Thank you.
:sl:

Has your issue been sorted?
Reply

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