I want to get married, but i cant afford the wedding

[Live2Learn90]

Assalamualykum brothers and sisters,

i am 22 years old.. still on my degree, next year i will graduate InsyaAllah. I know its still early to think about marriage, but it worries me. im planning to get married at the age of 24 after 1 year of work. But realisticly i dont think i can afford a wedding because here in Malaysia there are standards and im first born in the family so my parents are expecting a big wedding. im here to ask advice, any solutions or anything at all that could help me? :(

To be honest i want a modest wedding and i dont want the cost to haunt me back while trying to raise a family.

by the way, just curios: if i donate to mosques in hoping that Allah eases my path to marriage, is it considered to be an insincere deed?

[Txyib]

asalamualikum
i think that you could prehaps plan your wedding in your own area providing you have enough space like for instance my aunty had the same problem and she couldnt pay the money at the expenses so what she done was hired a massive tent and done the venue in her garden which was huge however you could do yours elsewere but thats a idea
another idea that had come up was so the venue somewhere cheap or however some people had done a wedding in a mosque however i dont know if thats allowed in shariah law to have a wedding in allahs house but then if you do the wedding somewhere cheap it doesnt matter although people may give you negative feedback they will later realise that you cannot afford it and will regret this,because at the end of the day you just want a marriage and you can feed people and for expenses that is ok because not everyone can afford fancy places with fancy stuff inc decorations limos etc..
wasalam
محمد طيب

[Live2Learn90]

I agree, not everyone can afford a fancy wedding. But here people do spread rumours if the wedding is too small like "maybe they committed "that" and now they are forced to get married" stuff like that. It gets really annoying because Islam is easy, culture makes it hard :hmm:

[syed1]

dont worry about what people say. get married within your budget. raise a family have kids enjoy your life. pray to god, fast, give zakat, go to hajj. everything will be okay

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[Riana17]

Asalam alaikkum

Don't confuse on getting married later, 1-2 years will not make a difference, we have a hadith that advises us to get married as early as possible

I got married too and guess what? I didnt had a party and i loved it
You should stop listening to rumours or listen to what nonsense people would say
Islam teaches us simplicity, our holy Quran tells us that people who waste money are brothers of evil
You dont want them to be your siblings right?
Invite less people, less expenses, solemn wedding and peaceful inshallah

[Live2Learn90]

Asalam alaikkum

Don't confuse on getting married later, 1-2 years will not make a difference, we have a hadith that advises us to get married as early as possible

I got married too and guess what? I didnt had a party and i loved it
You should stop listening to rumours or listen to what nonsense people would say
Islam teaches us simplicity, our holy Quran tells us that people who waste money are brothers of evil
You dont want them to be your siblings right?
Invite less people, less expenses, solemn wedding and peaceful inshallah

Wa alykumusalam,

i would want to do that, however my parents are expecting quite alot from me. i really dont know how to say to them that i just want to be modest. i dont want to let them down.

btw is giving sadaqah to mosques hoping Allah will help me considered to be insincere?

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:


I read an article long ago - Why Muslims don't get married at mosque ? »

Time to think about it. Prophet pbuh said something that means that is a blessed marriage which is less expensive . Sadly now a days , it's a prestidge issue who can spend more in marriage :raging:

[Karimah]

I like your comment

Islam is easy, culture makes it hard

I find this to be so true...

[Futuwwa]

Having a large wedding celebration is not a religious duty. The end.

I'd say those who insist on you having one can put their money where their mouth is and fund it.

[Scimitar]

I'd settle for an internet-wedding to be honest. As long as there are witnesses, voila.

Scimi

[Who Am I?]

Hey, there's an idea. Internet wedding...

[Ramadhan]

Hey, there's an idea. Internet wedding...

Like this one: http://www.islamicboard.com/puzzles-...ne-nikaah.html

lol!

But seriously, my mum's neighbor did online nikkah for their daughter. Her husband to be was in New York.

And my cousin just got married to a hungarian girl that he met while working in europe, she reverted to Islam and became mu'alaf. They got married here in Indonesia in a small simple wedding, but her parents could not fly here, so they set up skype so that the parents were able to follow the wedding, and I interpreted and narrated the whole thing for them :)

[Scimitar]

WOW bro, just amazing. Stories like that just make me smile.

Scimi

[Who Am I?]

Like this one: http://www.islamicboard.com/puzzles-...ne-nikaah.html

lol!

Yeah, see, I can actually see that happening. I don't know whether to laugh or cry now... ;D :laugh:

[Scimitar]

as long as its out of happiness, it shouldn't make a difference :)

laugh, cry, it's all an expression of emotion - as long as it's for the right emotion, why not?

Scimi

[Who Am I?]

as long as its out of happiness, it shouldn't make a difference :)

laugh, cry, it's all an expression of emotion - as long as it's for the right emotion, why not?

Scimi

Brother, I am slowly learning to express my emotions more openly. I tend to hide things from people, and don't like to talk about my feelings. But I am realizing that I can't do this forever.

[Scimitar]

Yep, me neither...

I found that being honest with ourselves means being truthful, and able to trust. I have major trust issues due to two failed engagements and some very bad experiences. But hey, if I stay this way then I'm only gonna end up a miserable old git (and that if I'm lucky). So, I decided that everytime a negative thought enters my mind, I will battle it with a positive thought - and if I can't think of a convincing one - I will do a good deed.

These good deeds, really do help to soften the heart. And make it light. And I do it all just to please Allah, knowing that HE is watching me. And when that dawns on me, I get emotional... I mean, the creator of the Universe and everything in it, is watching me... insignificant little idiotic foolish me. Just becuase I want to please HIM. Awesome barely even touches the sides of how it feels, and I feel these shakes, or trembles... and next thing, I'm in tears and happy.

Strange that, but very comforting. In the embrace of my Creator. Can't describe it. Ignore this waffle, it probably makes no sense at all.

Scimi

[Who Am I?]

Yep, me neither...

I found that being honest with ourselves means being truthful, and able to trust. I have major trust issues due to two failed engagements and some very bad experiences. But hey, if I stay this way then I'm only gonna end up a miserable old git (and that if I'm lucky). So, I decided that everytime a negative thought enters my mind, I will battle it with a positive thought - and if I can't think of a convincing one - I will do a good deed.

These good deeds, really do help to soften the heart. And make it light. And I do it all just to please Allah, knowing that HE is watching me. And when that dawns on me, I get emotional... I mean, the creator of the Universe and everything in it, is watching me... insignificant little idiotic foolish me. Just becuase I want to please HIM. Awesome barely even touches the sides of how it feels, and I feel these shakes, or trembles... and next thing, I'm in tears and happy.

Strange that, but very comforting. In the embrace of my Creator. Can't describe it. Ignore this waffle, it probably makes no sense at all.

Scimi

:sl:

I get this, man. I get it.

I don't live my life to please others. I live my life for myself, and for God. I can't let what society and other people say dictate what I do or how I feel. I used to do that, and I was miserable. I finally figured out that I can't live my life to please everyone else. I can't listen to those who tell me that I am not doing things right or that I'm not doing enough. I'm taking my time, trying to learn slowly, and at my own pace. As long as I'm making an effort, that's all that matters.

[Scimitar]

Wa alykum salaam akhi.

I agree totally. I can't really add anything to that. You summed it up nicely.

Scimi