A new way of dressing

[nfnmcmd]

Asalaamualaikum.

Please explain why I see Sisters with tight clothing, bare necks, heavy makeup and smelling of perfume in Masjid? I realize we all come from different places but arent we all to follow what is mandated?

[TrueStranger]

Because the women's section is completely separate from the men's section and the Shiekh does not even know what is going on the Female's side of the masjid. There really aren't any religious leaders that are correcting the sisters who are coming to the masjid.

Personally, I avoid masjids these days.

[nfnmcmd]

Thank you for your response. I dont know anyone. I need communication with others to learn. And, being new, I absolutely have no friends. How does a new Shahada meet others if not in Masjid?

[CosmicPathos]

Are you in touch with your family members? Any of them Muslims?

Do you live in downtown or out in boroughs? Is there heavy Muslim population there?

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[nfnmcmd]

I have no family so to speak. My family disowned me when I was a teenager. It seems that I didnt get the gene that made me see peoples color. I am told that there is about 75,000 Muslims in the Phoenix area. Right now I am staying temporarily at a Sisters ranch, way out of the city. But I go into the city to look for work and will live there

[TrueStranger]

Thank you for your response. I dont know anyone. I need communication with others to learn. And, being new, I absolutely have no friends. How does a new Shahada meet others if not in Masjid?

I understand what you mean. It's difficult for reverts to dive into the Muslim community. Is there another revert sister in your Masjid? I wish I still lived in Arizona, but we moved like back in 2001. :(

You will defiantly see different people with various personalities, ways of practicing Islam, and diversity in dressing in the mosque. Don't let that confuse you. Not everyone comes with the full package. So just take the good from everyone and leave behind what appears to be doubtful. I don't think most people understand the struggles a new revert has to deal with, especially when it comes to redefining their identity. And this is the kind of problems I have with the mosques, no one usually addresses the domestic matters of the community. I usually attain a Mosque that is for University students, and there are growing number of new reverts, but most people do not even think there is a problem some reverts face.

I promise to be more open and more welcoming to new reverts. I will go out of my way to make them feel welcomed.

[nfnmcmd]

Alhamdulillah! Thank you Sister. We learn from each other and grow together to please Allah!

[Beardo]

Asalaamualaikum.

Please explain why I see Sisters with tight clothing, bare necks, heavy makeup and smelling of perfume in Masjid? I realize we all come from different places but arent we all to follow what is mandated?

Because you have eyes.

Because people are still developing themselves and coming towards Islam. Some are simply unaware and others are struggling to find their identity. However, we all grow at our own pace. As Muslims, we do not tease, mock, or look down upon them. Rather, we show them affection, compassion, and treat them like the humans that they are.

[nfnmcmd]

I am new Shahada. I am not judging anyone. I am just asking questions so I can learn.

[MustafaMc]

It is best to not be too critical of others for their seemingly loose application of Islamic principles to their lives. We are each unique and run the full gamut of strictness to looseness in our own day-to-day following of the sunnah. Even within one's own life his faith goes up and down over time. My wife dresses quite modestly although she wears all western style clothes and hijab only for prayer. I would rather she wore the hijab in public, but she is uncomfortable with that at this point in time. Although there is no compulsion in religion, I believe that the fathers, brothers and husbands of these sisters may be partly to blame regarding leadership and guidance for them.

[Jalal~]

Because you have eyes.

Because people are still developing themselves and coming towards Islam. Some are simply unaware and others are struggling to find their identity. However, we all grow at our own pace. As Muslims, we do not tease, mock, or look down upon them. Rather, we show them affection, compassion, and treat them like the humans that they are.

well said man! i should think like this more often. But i have a question, is it wrong to develop way too fast? i think i may have made that mistake a while back.

[nfnmcmd]

Why the hostility? I am come here to learn and hear opinions. I am not here to judge anyone

[MustafaMc]

As Muslims, we do not tease, mock, or look down upon them. Rather, we show them affection, compassion, and treat them like the humans that they are.

This is true, but we are also supposed to command the good and forbid the evil. The sister made a valid point and we must remember that she too is learning. The hijab is much more than putting a scarf over one's head, but some sisters either don't understand that or they don't really care about modesty. I believe it is in women's nature to make herself appealing to men and the Islamic hijab is a means to guard against this inclination. In the same manner men naturally want to look at beautiful women and Islam provides an answer to that as well.

[nfnmcmd]

Thank you. I mean no disrespect to anyone. I love all for the pleasure of Allah.

[CosmicPathos]

Because you have eyes.

Because people are still developing themselves and coming towards Islam. Some are simply unaware and others are struggling to find their identity. However, we all grow at our own pace. As Muslims, we do not tease, mock, or look down upon them. Rather, we show them affection, compassion, and treat them like the humans that they are.

This attitude is a double edged sword.

While I do understand that humans need time to change habits, I understand it from biology and psychology, but at the same time there is no excuse for lax behavior. Once it becomes clear that certain actions are haraam, it becomes an obligation to stop doing them. Once it becomes known for example that alcohol is haraam, if a person keeps on indulging in it without any regret or without any effort on his part to reduce it, it is simple unacceptable. Same applies for bare necks and tight jeans and low hanging blouses.

[Beardo]

I am new Shahada. I am not judging anyone. I am just asking questions so I can learn.

No, no. I understood your question. I hope you didn't take it personally. :) The lawful and unlawful is quite evident in Islam. As we all learn, insha-Allah, our goal is to refrain from the doubtful as well. May Allah Ta'ala guide us all towards the straight path.

well said man! i should think like this more often. But i have a question, is it wrong to develop way too fast? i think i may have made that mistake a while back.

Honestly, I've been trying this for a couple weeks now, and Alhamdulillah, life is so much more beautiful this way, free from the worries of others. The ground was created to carry the burden, not our shoulders.

This attitude is a double edged sword.

While I do understand that humans need time to change habits, I understand it from biology and psychology, but at the same time there is no excuse for lax behavior. Once it becomes clear that certain actions are haraam, it becomes an obligation to stop doing them. Once it becomes known for example that alcohol is haraam, if a person keeps on indulging in it without any regret or without any effort on his part to reduce it, it is simple unacceptable. Same applies for bare necks and tight jeans and low hanging blouses.

And at this point in time, I'd like to recall this story:
"An old man sat to do his wudhu. But his wudhu was not correct. Hasan and Hussain the grandsons of the Prophet (S.A.W.), then two young boys, watched him. They immediately realized that the old man was not doing his wudhu correctly, but hesitated to tell him directly. Perhaps the old man would feel humiliated by two young boys, or he might even lose interest in the act of worship.

Sitting next to him, they started to do the wudhu and during the wudhu, Hasan said: "Oh Hussain my wudhu is correct and more perfect than yours."

In reply, Hussain insisted that his own wudhu was better than Hasan's.

Finally they said: "Let us refer to this gentleman. He is older than us and should be able to decide."

The old man was listening patiently. The boys performed their wudhu under his supervision, one after the other. And when they had finished, he realized the wudhu done by the boys was methodical and correct. It was his own wudhu which was incorrect. Turning to Hasan and Hussain, he gently said: "The wudhu done by you is correct. I am grateful that you chose to guide me in such a beautiful manner."

[CosmicPathos]

even though that story is beautiful and emotional, it in no way answers my concern. That story relates to how other ppl should educate, it does not say anything about self-analysis and self-criticism. The story addresses the second step of correcting/educating oneself, while I am talking about the first step: of realizing that the problem exists in the first place and of taking steps to correct it. The old man is clearly an elderly, not in position to be self-critical to a large extent, and indeed did need outsiders to correct him.

[ardianto]

Please explain why I see Sisters with tight clothing, bare necks, heavy makeup and smelling of perfume in Masjid?

Assalamualaikum.

If masjid caretakers prohibit those women dessing like that in masjid, they would not come to masjid, but go to other places like cafe, mall, cinemas, and they would far from Islam. But if those women are allowed to dress like that in masjid, they would come and gather with pious Muslims who can teach them about Islam.

Those who combine head cover and tight clothes are those who are in transition process to become a better Muslim women. If we treat them hardly like "Don't you know? haram to dressing like this !!", they will regard Islam as the hard religion that full of compulsion, and they will doubt to Islam. But if we realize they are in transition process and we guide them gently, slowly and softly, InshaAllah, they will dress properly.

My country, Indonesia, is a country that has largest number of Muslims. When I was young in 70's and 80's, women who wore hijab were very rare, even hijab was regarded as symbol of exremism. But started in 90's, many women started to wear hijab. Now, although many women still do not wear hijab, we can see hijabi in everywhere. Yes, many of them, especially youth, still combine head cover with tight clothes. But at least they are still better than those who do not cover their head. And they are still in transition process. Many of them later wear hijab properly.

If now many women in Indonesia wear hijab, it's because ulama never forced them to wear hijab. What ulama did just remind them and guide them gently, slowly, and softly.

we can not force someone to be good, what we can do is show the way toward the good.

[Jalal~]

Those who combine head cover and tight clothes are those who are in transition process to become a better Muslim women. If we treat them hardly like "Don't you know? haram to dressing like this !!", they will regard Islam as the hard religion that full of compulsion, and they will doubt to Islam. But if we realize they are in transition process and we guide them gently, slowly and softly, InshaAllah, they will dress properly.

Yes, patience is such a wonderful virtue.

The story addresses the second step of correcting/educating oneself, while I am talking about the first step: of realizing that the problem exists in the first place and of taking steps to correct it.

Sometimes, people just don't know its haram because of their culture or what their parents taught them. Now a days, parents worry more about getting a good education than religion. They usually say something along the lines of "Study hard now and practice religion when you get older". Its usually not their fault. But once they do realize the problem, then they eventually move on to the combination of hijab and tight clothing. If there is anyone who is going to fix the problem, its going to be the one who started it (i.e. the parents).
Parents need to get their priorities straight ;D

[Marina-Aisha]

yea i see it all the time i live in east london i see lots of sisters wearing lots makeup and tight jeans etc..i did also wonder why..i think some sisters think the hijaab is accessorie...wearing bright colours flashy pins..they want attention. all you can do is do what you think is right maybe they will follow ur example..

[ardianto]

There are many choices of "beautiful but modest" Muslimah clothes. But many hijabi sisters in my place still wear tight jeans. Maybe because "beautiful but modest" Muslimah clothes are expensive.

But about make up. Women in my place, including my wife, prefer to wear natural look make up that makes them look like without make up.

[Marina-Aisha]

I have to be honest I do wear alittle ( foundation, blusher) sometimes that black eyeline I bought it some islamic shop r we allowed to wear it? But the other day I wore islamic dress( goes down to me ankles) I liked it then wearing western clothes. I did get strange looks but who cares!!!! Stare if u want punks!! Lol

[Beardo]

even though that story is beautiful and emotional, it in no way answers my concern. That story relates to how other ppl should educate, it does not say anything about self-analysis and self-criticism. The story addresses the second step of correcting/educating oneself, while I am talking about the first step: of realizing that the problem exists in the first place and of taking steps to correct it. The old man is clearly an elderly, not in position to be self-critical to a large extent, and indeed did need outsiders to correct him.

I'm going to provide my last response, and thereafter, to each their own.

As I mentioned above, people will grow at their own pace. Don't you think they know that the clothes they are wearing is immodest? It's not rocket science. When you think of a Muslimah, you think of someone in loose garments and Hijaab, perhaps even Niqaab. The sister asked WHY and I said because she has eyes. You are going to see things. Her question does not entail whether it is allowed or not allowed.

I believe it's quite obvious what is lawful and what is unlawful. I find people to respond better to compassion, too. When you accept them for who they are and you set that example through action, they will follow suit. For you to scold or reprimand them becomes redundant and often counter-productive.

If you ever went to a Desi wedding, you'll notice that when the Qur'an is being recited, people will put napkins over their heads etc. This shows that people DO know.

I do agree that it is important to educate them and inform them. I just don't believe in singling them out. I'm sure that's not what you're suggesting. I don't even remember what I'm talking about anymore so I'll stop talking now.

[Haya emaan]

Asalaamualaikum.

Please explain why I see Sisters with tight clothing, bare necks, heavy makeup and smelling of perfume in Masjid? I realize we all come from different places but arent we all to follow what is mandated?

walaikum assalam
yes we muslims have to follow the same Islamic teachings no matter where we live or which place we belong to..
you see sisters like this because either they don't know about it yet or they know it but prefer dunya over deen

" But you men love the present life of this world, and neglect the hereafter.(75:20-21)

[nfnmcmd]

Asalaamualaikum. I do appreciate all the information given to me from everyone. This is how I learn. Allah bless you.

[Endymion]

The only painful thing to me is that they have made make up and sharp eye brows a common thing and even religious minded people compel you to do it and if you refuse,they make you feel like you are an alien :hmm:

[nfnmcmd]

I am pressured constantly to dress more western. Sisters tell me you dont have to do this and that. They even make jokes. I try to follow what is mandated. I fear Allah more than anything else. These Sisters are not the ones who will decide if I go to Paradise or Hell! I admit, I have days where I am weak and think, Maybe its ok. Thats when I seperate myself from the people trying to pull me away from what I know is correct. I am still working on myself, being a new Shahada, but I turn to the Qur'an when I am struggling with a decision

[Marina-Aisha]

at first i was i guess the word is embarrassed to wear islamaic robes and hijaab get all the stares but in the end u have to answer to allah and wot u gonna say?i dont like stares?wot kind excuse is that?so i just got the courage to do it and u know wot i felt better with myself that i was doing the right thing. if they wanna look and stare be rude to me thats there deal not mine, im not doing anything wrong. i love wearing my robes now, i would wearing my hijaab.

[nfnmcmd]

Besides being mandated, dressing modestly protects me from myself and well as others. Being new, I am still learning a new way of life. My dress reminds me of who I am now. It reminds me to act and speak correctly. I am happy for people to see me as Muslima. Women come to me and ask me questions about Islam...its a wonderful way to teach. Alhamduilillah

[Marina-Aisha]

also no more creeps staring at me like piece of meat!!

[nfnmcmd]

I had a discussion with a woman who stopped me on the street. She asked me if I liked dressing like this. The conversation went to how men treat her. She voiced what you just said, she doesnt like the attention she gets from men. POINT MADE! ALHAMDUILILLAH

[nfnmcmd]

May I ask, how long have you been Muslima?

[Marina-Aisha]

i just reverted the other day but ive been wearing my hijaab for three or four months

[nfnmcmd]

Alhamduilillah Sister. I took my Shahada this last October

[Marina-Aisha]

omg cool thats great we both very new hehehe

[nfnmcmd]

I am older than you in years but not in Islam. We are both new babies! I worked in retail for many years, I see you are entering that occupation.

[Marina-Aisha]

yea i hate my job, ever since i had my son( we nearly died) i wanted to do something more meaningful i think working with elderly is something i would be good at maybe one day become a social worker..

edit: sorry to go off topic.

[nfnmcmd]

Its ok. It takes awhile for newbies like us to remember who we are at all times. With Islam, doing our prayers on time is essential. It keeps us focused. Saying that, trust in your new faith completely. Stress, impatience, anger, all that is from the dunya. Be strong in faith Sister. Feel the security of the clothing you wear? Also feel the security of Islam. Allah bless you

[Marina-Aisha]

totally i like it, sometimes wear jeans and stuff but i do ive never been a person that likes showing her body so when i read bout islam i felt right u know?

[nfnmcmd]

Keep reading! I make sure to remember that we plan our life around our prayers, dont plan you prayers around your life. Islam should BE the clothing we wear

[Marina-Aisha]

wot do u do when ur at work?