View Full Version : Losing my way

04-02-2012, 12:10 PM
assalamu alaikum

i've been a muslim for some years now, i'm married, i have a beautiful child alhamdulillah. from the outside it pretty much looks like i'm in this for the long haul.

however, i'm really waivering to the point where i have almost completely lost interest and don't even enjoy praying.

converting to islam was a huge sacrifice, i gave up an excellent career, my family were disappointed and i lost all my old friends. then i had a very bad marriage which i believe has permanently affected me (loss of confidence, low self esteem, paranoia (due to threats to abduct my child)). add to that some very hurtful experiences i have had with other muslims; people i loved and respected who have blatently lied about me...subhanaAllah it's been quite bewildering.

i just feel completely let down, emotionally exhausted and totally empty.

sometimes i just want to slip back into familiar, comforting surroundings. i'm tired of sticking out like a sore thumb because of my hijab.

so yeah...i'm just losing my way and don't have the strength or the faith to fight anymore :(

please help3

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04-02-2012, 01:54 PM
You're not losing your way at all.. you're going through a trial that Allah swt tests with those whom he loves..

Al-Imran (The Family of Imran)[3:179] [RECITE]
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Ma kana Allahu liyathara almumineena AAala ma antum AAalayhi hatta yameeza alkhabeetha mina alttayyibi wama kana Allahu liyutliAAakum AAala alghaybi walakinna Allaha yajtabee min rusulihi man yashao faaminoo biAllahi warusulihi wain tuminoo watattaqoo falakum ajrun AAatheemun
I am going through a very difficult period myself and so is my close friend though we are both born Muslims it seems like the sort of thing that can totally drive a person away from God (and I don't want to make this about us) but just to let you know as you're tried other Muslims are also tried in every way, in their lives, loved ones, finances, their very mortal being and it all happens all at once so that you're left defeated and suffocated but you can look at it this way.. this can bring you closer to God and increase your ranks, build your character, & strengthens your faith or you can let it defeat you completely..

People are people btw many of them are evil and that includes Muslims.. many Muslims are so in name only..

04-02-2012, 04:40 PM
Asalamo alaikum sister,

Calm down and relax, tell yourself that again and again. It is indeed a trying time for most muslims, or all peple I would say, Nobody is having it easy these days, no matter how normal they appear to you. Think of it this way, the world is divided into 2 zones, one zone Afghanistan Iraq, pakistan , palestine etc all these countries which are poor 3rd world countries, have a huge growing population and they are under WAR, a threat constant in their lives, everyday. A father who leaves home does not know if he's going to make it back home safe, a child going to school does not know if his school buliding/camp(mostly) will be blown up; people are literally going through hell, to say the least.

Now look at the other zone, the rest of the world as you may say, apparently not under weaponised war, but YET going through several traumas in their personal, professional, and spiritual lives. The injustice done to the oppressed zone may seem brutal enough, but is the rest of the world happy living comfortable in their lives?Not really I think. I am not quoting this to aggravate your worries, this is just a view of the the world that we're living in today, and its a very very difficult time indeed, and it is the sunnah of Allah swt, that all nations, civilizations are tested.

As said in the Quran " And we have sent you down to see who is the best among you" (similar words). Just Imagine that there are people going through worse in this world, and Alhamdulilah you atleast have a wonderful child as a blessing to hold onto, I know so many couples who do not even have children and they feel so sad about it, but they try and utilize their time in helping others, and believe me, they really feel their eeman (faith) going up when they help other people out, they involve themselves in charitable causes and help other muslims in whichever way they can, and their worries just vanish away. Alhamdulilah.

As a muslim we must know that this world is not going to come to us in perfection EVER! we will achieve few things, we may loose other things, and we still have to be thankful to Allah swt, and keep on asking for His favour and mercy, as ALL the losses met to us in this world are TEMPORARY ! So Not being able to find a good husband, children ,a car a house or finances is Not a worrisome problem, Worry not, there'll be perfect loving and adoring spouses and children waiting for you in JAnnah, and jannah is not far away as we think, visualize it, think about its beauty, relish in its glory and feel good about it, there's a reason Allah swt has told us about Jannah, if we dont actually look forward to it, we'll start loosing hope and our worldly worries and sadness magnify in our heads and depress us greatly.

Apart from that, seek regular Istaghfaar(duas for repentenance) and make dua to Allah swt to make you a happy content person, NEVER miss out on Salah (prayer) and keep reading the Quran, no matter how little, even if you dont feel like it! ALlah swt knows how we feel and He loves us even more when we do things that we do not feel like doing, so forget about the feeling about wanting to do things only when you feel like it, that is not the concept in ISlam.

Join an Islamic study circle and halakh in your local masjid or find one online, make friends with practsing muslims who are good people and who can boost your faith InshALlah. Having good practising muslim company is so important in ISlam, that the Prophet saww would stress on people to find religiously committed brothers as spouses, and religiously committed good hearted sisters as friends. DO not LOOSE hope, it is only the kuffar, the disbelievers who loose hope, a muslim always has good hope inside of him, never loose it, work on it if you have to, but dont give yourself the option of loosing it in your heart, you'll never gain anything out of it, you'll make shaitan very happy, and you'll end up displeasing your Lord, how good is that? Right?

May ALlah swt be with you and may you be blessed plentiful in eeman and all the other blessings of this world and the here after, ameen.

04-02-2012, 06:11 PM
salam u alaycum

i think one of the best things you can do is ask Allah for help - also never miss your salah, thats of critical importance

remember from surah Ash-Sharh (quran -94,1-4)

1. Did We not expand for you, [O Muhammad], your breast?
2. And We removed from you your burden
3. Which had weighed upon your back
4. And raised high for you your repute.
5. For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.
6. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.
7. So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship].
8. And to your Lord direct [your] longing.

some comments on this surah - Allah swt does not say "after hardship there is ease" he says "with hardship there is ease" - almost meaning that ease is ordained alongside hardship. so you have to be patient -

also remember many people suffer trials the way you are. often the people who are closest to Allah are the ones who are trialed the hardest.

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04-03-2012, 05:32 AM
i feel ur problem sister....
sister u r blessed person that Allah SWT give u hidayat. these test and trials r sign that Allah SWT loves u and HE want to reward u. U see most of Prophet PBUH were in difficulty and hardships but that dont mean that they r not blessed and Allah SWT dont love them.
i agree that we r weak and sometime we get tired and lose our strength. but sister remember life is struggle and we have to fight uptill last. secondally islam and eman need continues struggle, sometime our eman is high and we feel pleasure in worship and sometime we just got bored of all this. but remember their is always ease after hardships.
I pray Allah SWT ease the matter for u and give u more strength. ameeen

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