People are generally less friendly now than in previous years?

[Ramadan90]

Am I the only one who notices this? It seems like more and more people nowadays are walking around with a huge chip on their shoulder and are so quick to have a negative/catty reaction to someone than a friendly one.

Why is that? The Recession/lack of funds? Racial tensions boiling? Because it's "in" to have a bad attitude? I don't get it. This also applies to us muslims.

[Darth Ultor]

I guess it's a product of the times. I can vouch for my generation. We grew up in the 1990's. It was a hopeful time for many countries. The economies were booming, there was relative peace everywhere, the very thought of war was foreign to us. "Oh, it'll only happen in dictatorships and in the Middle East and maybe one day the Israelis and Palestinians will come to an agreement. Clinton, Blair, etc. are gonna take care of it." Most of all, we went through school hearing that if we study hard, get work experience, make a nice resume, we will live our dream job. Then the war we never thought would affect the West came to us. By the middle of the 2000's, the economies of the world were going down, people were beginning to get laid off, less people were hiring, there was a big political divide in the US. Later on, we in the US discovered one of the biggest sources of the economic downturn: the loans granted to people who could never pay them off. It's a whole mess of problems and people are just more cynical and angry these days.

[CosmicPathos]

okay, why does it matter though if someone is friendly or unfriendly? Why do we expect others to be friendly? I never noticed the difference, in public. If someone does not want to talk to you or even look at you, so what? How is that worse than someone looking at you and smiling at you (a sign of friendliness?!).

Many have told me I walk with a chip on my shoulder, but sorry, I do not have time to entertain someone's inanities in public while going to or coming back from work on train or on bus. Nor do I have enough energy to "smile" at you just cuz we accidently made an eye contact. French people are weirdos and expect you to do that. What a stupid culture.

[Ramadan90]

okay, why does it matter though if someone is friendly or unfriendly? Why do we expect others to be friendly? I never noticed the difference, in public. If someone does not want to talk to you or even look at you, so what? How is that worse than someone looking at you and smiling at you (a sign of friendliness?!).

Many have told me I walk with a chip on my shoulder, but sorry, I do not have time to entertain someone's inanities in public while going to or coming back from work on train or on bus. Nor do I have enough energy to "smile" at you just cuz we accidently made an eye contact.

That is not what we are discussing here brother. I never take anything personally from a person I do not know, whether it is good or bad. But again, that is not what we are discussing.

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[CosmicPathos]

so what are we discussing here? :S

[M.I.A.]

okay, why does it matter though if someone is friendly or unfriendly? Why do we expect others to be friendly? I never noticed the difference, in public. If someone does not want to talk to you or even look at you, so what? How is that worse than someone looking at you and smiling at you (a sign of friendliness?!).

Many have told me I walk with a chip on my shoulder, but sorry, I do not have time to entertain someone's inanities in public while going to or coming back from work on train or on bus. Nor do I have enough energy to "smile" at you just cuz we accidently made an eye contact. French people are weirdos and expect you to do that. What a stupid culture.

your kidding right?

strangers are the perfect opportunity to smile. or be polite to.

none of the interaction of a real relationship or the drama that goes with it.. simply smile or say hello and walk on.

even if its not who you are, maintain the illusion that the world is not a depressing place.. maybe someday the tide turns and its the depression that is the illusion.

[Ramadan90]

so what are we discussing here? :S

:sl:

The topic is about whether we have noticed the change in people behaviours or not and if yes, what could the reasons be. Do not take it personally, but you are offtopic brother. I do not know how to say it nicer, but I said it. Judging from your posts here, you seem to be a VERY sensitive man.

And of course you should be polite to strangers and smile, where is the islamic values that we should follow?

[Ramadan90]

I guess it's a product of the times. I can vouch for my generation. We grew up in the 1990's. It was a hopeful time for many countries. The economies were booming, there was relative peace everywhere, the very thought of war was foreign to us. "Oh, it'll only happen in dictatorships and in the Middle East and maybe one day the Israelis and Palestinians will come to an agreement. Clinton, Blair, etc. are gonna take care of it." Most of all, we went through school hearing that if we study hard, get work experience, make a nice resume, we will live our dream job. Then the war we never thought would affect the West came to us. By the middle of the 2000's, the economies of the world were going down, people were beginning to get laid off, less people were hiring, there was a big political divide in the US. Later on, we in the US discovered one of the biggest sources of the economic downturn: the loans granted to people who could never pay them off. It's a whole mess of problems and people are just more cynical and angry these days.

It makes a lot of sense. This cannot be only applied in US, but all over the world. Which is sad.

[CosmicPathos]

:sl:

The topic is about whether we have noticed the change in people behaviours or not and if yes, what could the reasons be. Do not take it personally, but you are offtopic brother.

And of course you should be polite to strangers and smile, where is the islamic values that we should follow?

Duh, you are projecting "smiling" after eye contact as being polite. Definition of politeness varies from one place to another. i'd stick to new yorker definition of politeness, not a French one.

I dont think ppl are getting unfriendly in behaviors.

[CosmicPathos]

your kidding right?

strangers are the perfect opportunity to smile. or be polite to.

none of the interaction of a real relationship or the drama that goes with it.. simply smile or say hello and walk on.

even if its not who you are, maintain the illusion that the world is not a depressing place.. maybe someday the tide turns and its the depression that is the illusion.

again, does not answer the question "why." Why smile? Dont mix what you want to do with Islam. Islam has no say in this regards as definition of being polite varies from one culture to another. All Islam says is treat ppl with respect. Not smiling at them is not disrespect! It is Sunnah to smile but dont tell me Prophet Muhammad smiled at Abu Lahab or Abu Jahal too.

as for the bold part, ooh yea it is. Ever visited hospices? Palliative care was one of my rotations which I loved to core because it taught me the reality of world: you die in pain as a 90 year and the "not so depressing" world that you are talking about does not give a crap about who just left dunya. Especially when family members are "enjoying their lives out and going on vacation to the carribeans."

[TrueStranger]

Am I the only one who notices this? It seems like more and more people nowadays are walking around with a huge chip on their shoulder and are so quick to have a negative/catty reaction to someone than a friendly one.

Why is that? The Recession/lack of funds? Racial tensions boiling? Because it's "in" to have a bad attitude? I don't get it. This also applies to us muslims.

No kidding. It's difficult to know why certain people appear more angry or why some people are more likely to turn a mole hill into a mountain. Just ignore them because their issue is not with you, but with themselves. When God bestows upon you a beautiful smile, one can not help but smile. ;D

[M.I.A.]

smiling is charity.

seriously smiling is the least of concerns, show a man intent so that his head works a little clearer.

as for palliative care. was training to be a pharmacist lol.

worked in hospitals, lost friends.

did work experience on an amputees ward at the age of sixteen..



no longer in medicine, im sure you will find the cure for cancer soon though.



after all early diagnosis has the best prognosis.. and thats what its all about.
cure for cancer... dont get cancer.

smokers lived longer in the old days.


maybe my view of the world is not the same as yours.. i do not put my faith in modern medicine.. knowing the philosophical roots of modern medicine was a start.


anyway i diverge from the topic, i would rather smile and leave it at that...then show the man i am and the chip on my shoulder i carry.


edit.. it was actually the treatment for parkinsons that set me off.
it has an end point of 5 years after treatment is initiated.. it actually speeds up the degeneration later in treatment.
it was not in the model answer.

i wrote it anyway.

maybe things have changed since then.. that was 2007

[CosmicPathos]

well its you or other ppl who are assuming that not smiling = carrying chip on shoulder. Maybe they have crap going on in their lives and smiling at you is the least of their concerns. What's up with this hypocrisy? If you are expecting ppl to give you courtesy, why not start by yourself by giving people excuses for their seemingly impolite behaviors?

thanks for the duas for finding cancer cure though.

How did smokers live longer in old days? :S Avg age of a healthy man himself was low in old days, how come smokers outlived healthy man "in olden days?"

I do believe in modern allopathic medicine. I dont believe in alternative medicine except Prophetic medicine.

[Al-manar]

I guess it's a product of the times. I can vouch for my generation. We grew up in the 1990's. It was a hopeful time for many countries. The economies were booming, there was relative peace everywhere, the very thought of war was foreign to us. "Oh, it'll only happen in dictatorships and in the Middle East and maybe one day the Israelis and Palestinians will come to an agreement. Clinton, Blair, etc. are gonna take care of it." Most of all, we went through school hearing that if we study hard, get work experience, make a nice resume, we will live our dream job. Then the war we never thought would affect the West came to us. By the middle of the 2000's, the economies of the world were going down, people were beginning to get laid off, less people were hiring, there was a big political divide in the US. Later on, we in the US discovered one of the biggest sources of the economic downturn: the loans granted to people who could never pay them off. It's a whole mess of problems and people are just more cynical and angry these days.

That is a great post that touched the problem well ...... the awful economic downturn (most of the world) ,also the technology in our houses etc ....has ruined families,friendships ......
actually those two factors are the basic factors that ruined to some extent the peaceful co-existence between muslims and christians in my country of origin....

[CosmicPathos]

you have parkinson's?

Well it depends, every patient is different. Some will not show improvement with sinemet, especially in late stage parkinson's. Moreover, no one claims to cure Parkinson with those drugs. The aim is to reduce parkinsonian symptoms and increasing patient's quality of life.

[marwen]

:sl:
Sorry my english is limited. What do we mean by "being friendly" here ? does it mean willing to befriend others, or just being nice with others without being a "friend" ?

[M.I.A.]

you have parkinson's?

Well it depends, every patient is different. Some will not show improvement with sinemet, especially in late stage parkinson's. Moreover, no one claims to cure Parkinson with those drugs. The aim is to reduce parkinsonian symptoms and increasing patient's quality of life.

no i dont but thanks for asking.

i aim to improve quality of life through faith.. islam is the cure..

inb4 faith healing lol

levo dopa, dopa decarboxilase inhibitors yada yada.. i have not kept much of it in mind, i did however resit that exam three times lol
i kept getting the answer wrong so in the end i did my own research.. it did not help and i failed the final year of my career degree.

that in itself would drive a sane man insane.. would i be so against modern medicine if i had passed?
probably not.

anyway enough of my own ineptitude, regrets a sad way to live life..

smile a little.

[Insaanah]

:sl:

Am I the only one who notices this? It seems like more and more people nowadays are walking around with a huge chip on their shoulder and are so quick to have a negative/catty reaction to someone than a friendly one.

No, you're not the only one. In fact, we see it on this very forum too, with Muslims arguing with each other and almost disagreeing for the sake of it, and nit-picking what each other has said over trivial things.

That is completely different from someone being sad or preoccupied due to some problem going on in their life.

Why is that? The Recession/lack of funds? Racial tensions boiling? Because it's "in" to have a bad attitude? I don't get it. This also applies to us muslims.

No idea. Possibly because we forget the hadeeth on greeting each other, on smiling, and on being easy going. And that the person we're talking to is first and foremost our brother/sister in Islam. Many of us have problems personally, but we shouldn't let that affect our demeanour if we can help it.

Though I think it would be good if we went back to the basics, such as spreading salaams.

Of the posts in this thread so far, only two begin with a Muslim greeting fellow Muslims with assalaamu alaikum. In fact we don't even need to type out all that, simply type : s l : (without spaces), and you get this: :sl:

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Messenger of Allah :saws: said, "By Him in Whose Hand my soul is! You will not enter Jannah until you believe, and you shall not believe until you love one another. May I inform you of something, if you do, you love each other. Promote greeting amongst you (by saying Assalamu 'alaikum to one another)".

[Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 378].

وعنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏:‏ والذي نفسي بيده لا تدخلوا الجنة حتى تؤمنوا ولا تؤمنوا حتى تحابوا أولا أدلكم على شيء إذا فعلتموه تحاببتم‏:‏ أفشوا السلام بينكم ‏(‏‏(‏ رواه مسلم‏)‏‏)‏ ‏.‏

And Allah knows best.

[CosmicPathos]

MIA: well I am sorry to hear about your difficulties. perhaps Allah swt had other plans for you. As He does for me.

I do not believe in faith healing, at least the way it is traditionally understood. It has not worked for me, it has not worked for millions of patients.

I do however believe in Prophetic medicine, even though I do not have evidence for it, but my emaan requires me to. Moreover, I have great respect for the hadees that every disease has a cure. And that is referring to "non-faith" cures. Biochemical cures.

[M.I.A.]

i guess its a complicated argument.

how much faith/trust would you put into god?

i know i am willing and able to risk it all.. im not sure if i would want or allow others to do the same.


hope you do well.

each and every path of every individual is well within the sight and knowledge of allah swt.. thats the god i worship.

[CosmicPathos]

i guess its a complicated argument.

how much faith/trust would you put into god?

i know i am willing and able to risk it all.. im not sure if i would want or allow others to do the same.


hope you do well.

each and every path of every individual is well within the sight and knowledge of allah swt.. thats the god i worship.

well our faith does require us to believe that nothing happens without the will of Allah. So if beta blockers are not controlling someone's hypertension, there are biochemical reasons for it, but that is how Allah had willed it billion of years ago in loh e mahfuz. Too bad for that patient. And not just him, it happens to all of us in one form or another.

[Muezzin]

Am I the only one who notices this? It seems like more and more people nowadays are walking around with a huge chip on their shoulder and are so quick to have a negative/catty reaction to someone than a friendly one.

Why is that? The Recession/lack of funds? Racial tensions boiling? Because it's "in" to have a bad attitude? I don't get it. This also applies to us muslims.

A lot of people are neither friendly nor unfriendly, but simply street-wise. If you live in a large city, you might develop what looks like a chip on your shoulder, but is actually a means of survival. It's a jungle out there.

That said, some people are mardy temporarily because of circumstances. They can get on with people, they're just sometimes sad or angry because of their current circumstances, and they might be 'glass half-empty' kind of people, but they're not bad people by any means. They don't go out of their way to make others feel bad.

Others are just mardy bums. They tend to only get on with people as a cynical way of manipulating them. Rather than being a glass half-empty type of person, mardy bums empty the glass, smash it, then look for other people's glasses to destroy. Misery loves company, and mardy bums find joy only in destroying the happiness of others.

[CosmicPathos]

Some people are mardy temporarily because of circumstances. They can get on with people, they're just sometimes sad or angry because of their current circumstances, and they might be 'glass half-empty' kind of people, but they're not bad people by any means. They don't go out of their way to make others feel bad.

Others are just mardy bums. They tend to only get on with people as a cynical way of manipulating them. Rather than being a glass half-empty type of person, mardy bums empty the glass, smash it, then look for other people's glasses to destroy. Misery loves company, and mardy bums find joy only in destroying the happiness of others.

All diverse colors of Allah's creation!

[ardianto]

:sl:

I have lived more than four decades and have seen changing of life style from a decade to another decade. But I don't feel people nowadays are less friendly or more friendly. At least in my place.

[Periwinkle18]

i think ur so rite!! its true ppl arnt tht friendly anymore i guess me too my parents used to tell me tht there used to be so much khuloos(sumone translate it i just can't think of the rite word rite now) in ppl n now adays its not there they used to do stuff for each other without asking n were very generous buh nowadays its nth like tht if u try to help them they think u want sumfin from them :( which is so sad :(