Am I being punished?

My life is full of regrets. Allah gave me many chances in life but I have not used any of them. Now I feel like I'm being punished. Actually, I couldn't do anything successfully in my life because of lack of motivation. I was such a spoilt girl, my dad spent a lot of money on my education but I just drop out of university over and over again. It is all my fault. Now when I look back, the regrets eats me inside. I cant help but cry when people look down on me, taunt me for not getting anywhere in life. I cant afford education in this country coz I am still not a citizen here. I dont know what to do now, I'm so lost.

Any advice anyone? I feel so depressed

There is always tauba sis, for the sins you've done. Don't be sad for a piece of paper. there is always time to change your intentions to good ones, to change yourself, and the past is what it is. Learn from your past and look forward.

Being in a depressed state won't help you to get back in time and correct your mistakes, rather learn from it and look out for the future

Guilt and regret are static emotions. There can be no guilt in growth.

Not my analogy, but a good one: Consider a boat on the water. It leaves a wake. The wake exists, but does it direct or guide the speed or destination of the boat? Absolutely not.

Asalam Alaikum

Very good advice from the others. Nothing can be gained by thinking of the past, but just work towards making a better future. Past mistakes are to be learned from, not lived for. You need motivation, well here is some, you are the future and you need to move forward so that others can learn from you. If you feel going back to school is what is good for you right now, go for it, and talk to your dad, and not just take what he pays for, but also share your experiences with him. If you share. then the motivation will come, because you will be putting it into words, and actually motivating yourself. I am sure he is proud of you, but paying and getting are not the joy of it all, it's the sharing. I have a hard time expressing what I want to say in writing, so I hope you understand what I am trying to say. And please share with us. I would love to know what you were studying in school, and if you still want to study the same thing. I'm all ears! Sunnie Ameena

Iluv♥Allah;1512952 said:

My life is full of regrets. Allah gave me many chances in life but I have not used any of them. Now I feel like I'm being punished. Actually, I couldn't do anything successfully in my life because of lack of motivation. I was such a spoilt girl, my dad spent a lot of money on my education but I just drop out of university over and over again. It is all my fault. Now when I look back, the regrets eats me inside. I cant help but cry when people look down on me, taunt me for not getting anywhere in life. I cant afford education in this country coz I am still not a citizen here. I dont know what to do now, I'm so lost.

Any advice anyone? I feel so depressed

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[FONT=PDMS_IslamicFont]مَآ أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ۬ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ وَلَا فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمۡ إِلَّا فِى ڪِتَـٰبٍ۬ مِّن قَبۡلِ أَن نَّبۡرَأَهَآ*ۚ إِنَّ ذَٲلِكَ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ۬ (٢٢) [/FONT][FONT=PDMS_IslamicFont]لِّكَيۡلَا تَأۡسَوۡاْ عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمۡ وَلَا تَفۡرَحُواْ بِمَآ ءَاتَٮٰڪُمۡ*ۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخۡتَالٍ۬ فَخُورٍ (٢٣)[/FONT]

No evil befalls on the earth nor in your own souls, but it is in a book before We bring it into existence; surely that is easy to Allah: So that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor be exultant at what He has given you; and Allah does not love any arrogant boaster. [Quran Surah Hadid, 57:22-23]

You do not need private and expensive education to make you the best, you need to make the most of what you have. There is a saying that goes as follows: a poor workman always blames his tools. Utilise to the fullest all the resources that you have and do not waste any time in idleness.

Whatever education you are in now, accompany your teachers as much as you can and shake every bit of knowledge as you can out of them until you know that they have nothing more to give. Being a teacher, I can tell you that I love those students the most who show the greatest interest in their learning.

Allah has already blessed you with regret and remorse, use these negative emotions positively to drive you towards those goals which will benefit you.

Thank you brothers and sisters for your kind advises. Sister Sunnie, I feel shame to talk about my past. I have tried to study in business, sociology, accounting, law and philosophy but I couldnt finish any of it. I dont want to return to these subjects anymore because it is all secular education, it goes against the sharia. In sociology they teach you that human came from apes, in philosophy they teach you there no such thing as God and British law is just secular and I failed in accounting and business is just boring. I wanted to study something which can help me explore the wonders of Allah's creation or in the medical section like nursing or midwifery but UK wouldnt let me study in the medical because I am not yet a British citizen. My father cant afford college tuition fees anymore cause it has raised sky high and I am scared that if i dont find motivation in studying this time then the money would be wasted again.

I need Allah to help me decide on something but how should I ask Him? what should I say? I'm confused.

'Abd-al Latif said:

[FONT=PDMS_IslamicFont]مَآ أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ۬ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ وَلَا فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمۡ إِلَّا فِى ڪِتَـٰبٍ۬ مِّن قَبۡلِ أَن نَّبۡرَأَهَآ*ۚ إِنَّ ذَٲلِكَ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ۬ (٢٢) [/FONT][FONT=PDMS_IslamicFont]لِّكَيۡلَا تَأۡسَوۡاْ عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمۡ وَلَا تَفۡرَحُواْ بِمَآ ءَاتَٮٰڪُمۡ*ۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخۡتَالٍ۬ فَخُورٍ (٢٣)[/FONT]

No evil befalls on the earth nor in your own souls, but it is in a book before We bring it into existence; surely that is easy to Allah: So that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor be exultant at what He has given you; and Allah does not love any arrogant boaster. [Quran Surah Hadid, 57:22-23]

You do not need private and expensive education to make you the best, you need to make the most of what you have. There is a saying that goes as follows: a poor work man always blames his tools. Utilise to the fullest all the resources that you have and do not waste any time in idleness.

Whatever education you are in now, accompany your teachers as much as you can and shake every bit of knowledge as you can out of them until you know that they have nothing more to give. Being a teacher, I can tell you that I love those students the most who show the greatest interest in their learning.

Allah has already blessed you with regret and remorse, use these negative emotions positively to drive you towards those goals which will benefit you.

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Thank you brother Latif, thats a very useful suggestion.

Easy way to tell if you're being punished is to look in the mirror, look at your forehead and into your own eyes, if you look pure and clean then its not punishment but if you see corruption and evil then its your sins that are bringing you down.

Iluv♥Allah;1512986 said:

Thank you brothers and sisters for your kind advises. Sister Sunnie, I feel shame to talk about my past. I have tried to study in business, sociology, accounting, law and philosophy but I couldnt finish any of it. I dont want to return to these subjects anymore because it is all secular education, it goes against the sharia. In sociology they teach you that human came from apes, in philosophy they teach you there no such thing as God and British law is just secular and I failed in accounting and business is just boring. I wanted to study something which can help me explore the wonders of Allah's creation or in the medical section like nursing or midwifery but UK wouldnt let me study in the medical because I am not yet a British citizen. My father cant afford college tuition fees anymore cause it has raised sky high and I am scared that if i dont find motivation in studying this time then the money would be wasted again.

I need Allah to help me decide on something but how should I ask Him? what should I say? I'm confused.

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Ask Him by first praising (read Surah Fatihah), sending salutations upon the Messenger :saws1:, ask Allah to forgive you and then pouring your heart out to Him. You must do this regularly and not just as a one off; as well you must remain patient and positive and do all of this continually until Allah responds to you.

If you want to find motivation then look for a course that you will enjoy doing. You will not find motivation in something you dislike, this is crucial for you to understand. Since you mentioned the medical field, you should know that the NHS funds the students who study in order to be employed by them as nurses (and probably other roles too).

The benefit of working in the UK is that there is pretty much a career in anything that you choose to work as. You have until September when the new semester starts so spend the summer researching the different courses out there and which one you think you will enjoy doing the most. From here, you can decide which of these career choices remind you of Allah the most. But bear in mind that a career should always be a secondary choice, your priority is obeying Allah in matters that primarily reside outside of your career, though you must obey Allah while working too. I still encourage you to study and learn as it is a fundamental part of Islam to seek knowledge.

This is how you will have Allah respond to you.

Asalam Alaykum sister:

I can relate to your feelings of loss of motivation, it is something that has plagued me over the past years. Finding Islam and becoming a Muslim has brought purpose to my life. It hasn't miraculously solved all my problems but it certainly has lifted my spirits and moved me towards a better future.

For most of my life I worked in a call center, in a variety of roles, from telemarketing, computer technical support, both hardware and software, and customer service. The computer support I didn't mind but its a fast changing field with so many centers moving 'off shore' its hard to get work in it now. But one thing I have found is it really makes me bitter and negative, to the point I just couldn't stand being around people. I realized I needed to get out of that field and into something else.

Like you I don't have funds to pay for tons of schooling, nor am I sure what areas of study I want to get. What I do know, is I don't want to do call center work. In fact, I will be happy to be as far away from a phone as possible. Online work, however, I wouldn't mind but not too many jobs focus on strictly internet interaction.

My advice, since funds are low, check with the unemployment/employment centers in your area. I don't know what the UK has to offer for non citizens, but here in Canada, there are many free courses available to help immigrants and new comers into Canada to get settled and into jobs. May not be high paying jobs but its a start. There may also be government funded courses available as well, which will cover any schooling and sometimes even living expenses so you can take a course that will help you find a rewarding career. Early Childhood Education may be one area, or even Daycare, if you enjoy being around children. Its also an area that is acceptable for Muslim women too, especially if work in a all girls school. Ask around and check the UK government websites for courses and other programs which you can take. Some companies may also provide online courses to their employees too, which could improve your education and may even count towards an actual university/college degree.

Don't forget to ask Allah for help as well, to keep you steadfast and provide the drive you need to better yourself.

I am always shocked to discover how many people believe that hardships are a punishment from ALLAH!
When people face tests or see others facing tests, they assume Allah must be angry with them.
SubhannAllah!

Remember which people were tested the most: The Prophets! And they were the closest to Allah.


Every hardship is good for you—if it brings you closer to Him!” — Yasmin Mogahed

I have migrated here for a better chances. I have tried to migrate in Canada, I have waited 3 years for my Canadian immigration but I never got it. Then I applied in UK and I got the immigration within 3 weeks. I have always preferred Canada but Allah brought me here. He must have a reason that He brought me here. But UK is being very unfair to immigrants. My dad regrets to be here and he is desperate to go back but I dont regret coz I believe in Allah's decision and I definitely do not wish to go back.

I dont know what to tell my college so that they can understand me and give me some concession on the fees.

I have reached the age of marriage but for my illness, I am having difficulty to find a partner for me.

Sometimes I wonder, maybe its not the time to return to education, I have to find a cure for my illness first then I should look for marriage. All my classmates are married and have children. If they can continue study after marriage and children then why cant I.

Iluv♥Allah;1513021 said:

I have reached the age of marriage but for my illness, I am having difficulty to find a partner for me.

Sometimes I wonder, maybe its not the time to return to education, I have to find a cure for my illness first then I should look for marriage. All my classmates are married and have children. If they can continue study after marriage and children then why cant I.

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Just have sabr, and btw there is a cure for your illness: Blackseed oil. Prophet Muhammed(Saw) said that it is a cure for every illness except death

Jedi_Mindset said:

Just have sabr, and btw there is a cure for your illness: Blackseed oil. Prophet Muhammed(Saw) said that it is a cure for every illness except death

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thanks for the reminder . Sis , also make dua .



For the cure of any illness



Ayesha (R.A.) stated that when anyone among them had an illness, Prophet Mohammad (SAW.) used to rub the area of the pain reciting the following dua:

أَذْهِبِ الْبَأْسَ رَبَّ النَّاسِ وَاشْفِ أَنْتَ الشَّافِي لَا شِفَاءَ إِلَّا شِفَاؤُكَ شِفَاءٌ لَا يُغَادِرُ سَقَمَاً

"O Lord of the people, remove this pain and cure it, You are the one who cures and there is no one besides You who can cure, grant such a cure that no illness remains".

"Ayesha (R.A.) stated that when Prophet Mohammad (SAW.) was ill, he used to recite the four Quls, blow on his hands and pass them over on the back and front. He also recited these surahs, blew on his hands and passed them over his body during his fatal illness".

(Bukhari, Muslim)


http://www.guidedways.com/duas/prophetprayers.php?dua=81

I need some inspiration. I feel like it is very difficult living in this secular world. We are only provided with secular education. I wish I lived in the Islamic golden age. When would it return again? I dream to see it return during my lifetime anyway this would go off topic, so i open a new thread about it Islamic golden age VS the secular world.