What age did you mentally mature?

[Asiyah3]

As the title says, what age did you mentally mature?

[glo]

I don't think I can answer that. What do you mean by 'mentally mature'?
Maturity is a gradual process, which happens as we grow older and learn and have new life experiences.
Arguably we never finish maturing.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I think I understand what the OP means.

I'd say at 14/15. Thats when I started finding it much easier to hold conversations with all them aunties and uncles lol

[glo]

How old are you now, IbnAbdulHakim, if you don't mind me asking?

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[IbnAbdulHakim]

How old are you now, IbnAbdulHakim, if you don't mind me asking?

not at all, i'll be 25 in a month, and to be honest im loving growing older :D

['Abd Al-Maajid]

16-20. Because it was then I started to question everything and completely dumped TV from my life and that was the turning point for me...:p

[patientgrace]

I guess I have always been mature for my age, even when I was younger. I still fit in socially, and developed emotionally and physically according to my age group. However, I do want to say that once I was around age 10, that is when my mentality began to be a few years older than other girls my age. Growing up and as a grown up I have always had many friends from different maturity levels. In college, I had a friend that was 20 but had the mentality of a 16 year old girl. When I was 16 I knew a girl who was 20 and had the mentality of a 12 year old, a friend that was 25 but acted as if she was 35. Most of my friends were women, I very seldom knew of men in high school that acted older than they were. Usually the boys in my high school acted as if they were in high school or even in middle school at times.

I guess that it is proven in statistics that women really do mature a lot faster then men... (in most cases). :nervous:

[Asiyah3]

I don't think I can answer that. What do you mean by 'mentally mature'?
Maturity is a gradual process, which happens as we grow older and learn and have new life experiences.
Arguably we never finish maturing.

I agree maturity comes with gradual learning and experiencing. But what I meant, to put it in different words: when did you stop being and thinking like a kid?

For example, if you have a 21 year-old son and he wants to marry a 14 year-old girl. Would you think the girl is childish for him? (The question is meant to illustrate the different mentalities. I am aware a marriage at this age is prohibited by law)

At what age would you think a girl stops become childish for a 21 year-old man? Or the other way around. If a 25 year-old woman wants to marry a 21-year old guy, would you presume their mentality is different, they see the world differently, and for these reasons they'd have problems with communication?

[patientgrace]

I don't think I can answer that. What do you mean by 'mentally mature'?
Maturity is a gradual process, which happens as we grow older and learn and have new life experiences.
Arguably we never finish maturing.

Exactly, Glo! I was so unsure how to even answer this question.. because all I could think of was "what defines maturity and at what age should one be considered mature"? :)

[Muezzin]

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

Where's my tricycle? Let's pop some wheelies.

[Pure Purple]

I consider myself mature between 18-20,But my mom don't think so.
She always consider me immature.She compared me with my siblings and always says You are eldest and most immature,dumb. :cry:
Sometimes it hurts me.

[glo]

I agree maturity comes with gradual learning and experiencing. But what I meant, to put it in different words: when did you stop being and thinking like a kid?

Thank you for the clarification, Asiyah.

On that basis I would say 16-20. Not until I left home and had to stand on my own feet, actually. When I suddenly had to manage in a foreign country, work, cook for a large household etc.
Gee, did I do some growing-up in that one year! :happy:

[truthseeker63]

16-17 years of age maybe 15.

[truthseeker63]

How does Islam define mentally mature ? Is mentally mature an individual case ? Can you always define being mentally mature by a person having body hair ?

[glo]

How does Islam define mentally mature ? Is mentally mature an individual case ? Can you always define being mentally mature by a person having body hair ?

Physical maturity and mental maturity do not necessarily happen at the same time.

[Futuwwa]

I still haven't at 26 :p

Well, somehow I think that if I look back at my life at 52, I won't consider myself to be mature at 26, regardless of what I feel now.

[truthseeker63]

Maturity (psychological)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate how a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive, and is not determined by one's age. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act appropriately, according to the situation and the culture of the society one lives in.^{[citation needed]}

Adult development and maturity theories include the purpose in life concept, in which maturity emphasizes a clear comprehension of life's purpose, directedness, and intentionality which, contributes to the feeling that life is meaningful.<sup>[1]

Age


See also: Age of majority

While older persons are generally perceived as more mature, psychological maturity is not determined by one's age.[2] However, for legal purposes, people are not considered psychologically mature enough to perform certain tasks (such as driving, consenting to sex, signing a binding contract or making medical decisions) until they have reached a certain age. In fact, judge Julian Mack, who helped create the juvenile court system in the United States, said that juvenile justice was based on the belief that young people do not always make good decisions because they are not mature, but this means that they can be reformed more easily than adults.[3] However, the relationship between psychological maturity and age is a difficult one, and there has been much debate over methods of determining maturity, considering its subjective nature, relativity to the current environment and/or other factors, and especially regarding social issues such as religion, politics, human stem-cell research, genetic engineering and abortion.[4]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maturity_(psychological)</sup>

[truthseeker63]

Chapter Three

The Islamic Sexual Morality (2)
Its Structure

A. THE BEGINNING OF SEXUAL LIFE

1 . BULUGH & RUSHD

Sexual desire is aroused in human beings at the age of puberty. In Islamic legal definition puberty (bulugh) is determined by one of the following:

1. age: fifteen lunar years for boys and nine lunar years for girls;
2. internal change (in boys only): The first nocturnal emission. Semen accumulates in the testicles from puberty onwards and more semen may be formed than the system can assimilate; when this happens, semen is expelled during the sleep. This is known as nocturnal emission wet dream or ihtlam in Arabic.
3. physical change: Growth of coarse hair on lower part of abdomen.

Since the sexual urge begins at puberty and as Islam says that sexual urge should be fulfilled only through marriage, it has allowed marriage as soon as the boy and the girl reach the age of puberty. In the case of girls, it not only allows them to be married as soon as they become mature, but also recommends such marriage. It is based on such teachings that Islam discourages girls from postponing their marriage because of education; instead, it says that girls should get married and then continue their education if they wish to do so.

Physical maturity by itself, however, is not enough for a person to handle the marriage responsibilities; rushd (maturity of mind) is equally important.

http://www.**************/m_morals/chap3.htm


Coming of age


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

IslamChildren are not required to perform any obligatory acts of Islamic Teachings prior to reaching the age of puberty, although they should be koko encouraged to begin praying at the age of seven. Before reaching puberty it is recommended to pray in obeisance to Allah and to exemplify Islamic customs, but as soon as one exhibits any characteristic of puberty, that person is required to perform the prayers and other obligations of Islam.^[14] In Shia Islam there are two stages essentially to coming of age, firstly at the age of prayer a child undergoes a ceremony know as a Sehra, where the child wears a head dress similar to that of a groom in a Hindu wedding and is asked a series of question pertaining to Islam and the readiness of the child in which the child would reply "naam" (yes). At the age of 15-17 A similar ceremony is again held, again asking questions pertaining to the time since his/her Sehra as to whether he/she fully understands the expectation of Islam and Allah and is willing to stand as an adult, responsible for ones actions or words at which point he/she will reply "naam"
The Ceremony is usually held in a hall with all the family within the community and close friends as witnesses to journey into manhood or womanhood. After the ceremony is complete everyone will sit, talk, eat and laugh with each other and celebrate another success in the future of Islam.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coming_of_age

[truthseeker63]

Where does Islam or Islamic Texts say it is 15 or 17 ?

[truthseeker63]

Chapter Three

The Islamic Sexual Morality (2)
Its Structure

A. THE BEGINNING OF SEXUAL LIFE

1 . BULUGH & RUSHD

Sexual desire is aroused in human beings at the age of puberty. In Islamic legal definition puberty (bulugh) is determined by one of the following:

1. age: fifteen lunar years for boys and nine lunar years for girls;

http://www.**************/m_morals/chap3.htm

1. age: fifteen lunar years for boys and nine lunar years for girls; ?

[Adil]

Assalamu aleikum Sister and everyone

Maturity?I consider someone being mature when he/she is fully aware of him/herself,ambitions,life and most important his/her faith.When you know how to behave in certain conditions with good manners and how to be responsible of ones actions.
My mom once told me that at the age of 14 I became mature,responsible and she was able to talk to me she was in front of an adult.
This is my opinion,I do agree with you, glo the process of maturity is indeed a never ending process but with a beginning,which is the age when you start feeling this process. :)

Waleikum Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

[glo]

I still haven't at 26 :p

Well, somehow I think that if I look back at my life at 52, I won't consider myself to be mature at 26, regardless of what I feel now.

LOL
That's true.

I am 45 now. When I look back in life, I think I have always considered myself mature at any given point in time. Simply because all I could compare myself to was when I was younger and LESS mature.

And 10 years later or so I look back again and realise that back then, I wasn't quite as mature as I had thought at the time! :D

[ardianto]

:sl:

When did I mentally mature?. I don't even know if now I am mentally mature or still immature :D

Different than physical maturity, mental maturity is something that cannot be measured based on age. Mental maturity is not result of physical growth, but result of our experiences in life. Not from how much experiences we got, but from how much lesson we took from our experiences, and how good we use this knowledge in our life.

[Asiyah3]

Not from how much experiences we got, but from how much lesson we took from our experiences, and how good we use this knowledge in our life.

That's true. How can we take lessons from experiences? What if we forget? Sometimes I say during bad times something, but when the good times come, I tend to forget.

[ardianto]

That's true. How can we take lessons from experiences? What if we forget? Sometimes I say during bad times something, but when the good times come, I tend to forget.

Many people have heard that "experience is the best teacher". Unfortunately, many of them assume that "experience is the best lesson". No, no. Teacher different than lesson.

Teacher is person who teaches us in the classroom. Lesson is what taught by the teacher to us. If we take this lesson, we will have knowledge. If we never take the lesson, we will not get anything.

Now imagine if we always attend in the classroom, but we never listen to our teacher. We are busy with chating or texting. Can we get knowledge?. of course not. We will get knowledge only if we take the lesson.

Same like people who got many experience, but they never learn anything from their experience. They will not get knowledge from their experience.

How to learn from experience? notice what we got, what happened, after we did something. In example, we fell when we walked on the wet floor. The lesson that we can take is: next time, be careful when walk on the wet floor.

Remember, experience is the teacher, not the lesson. :)

[Periwinkle18]

hmm hard one :p i would say 16 to 19 buh i still do act like a kid im almost the youngest , always been the baby of the house :p get wht i want n im whiny too at times :p(thts the best part lol cuz then daddy says wht n im like i want this n hes like ok fine lol) yikes gng to turn 20 soon :S dun wanna grow older :S

[ardianto]

When I was kid: I'm not a baby! look, I'm big enough! I can do it!

When I was teenager: I know what I'm doing! I'm not kid! I'm not kid!

In my 20's age: What? they say I'm not mature enough? I'm not teenager! I'm adult!

In my 30's age: Life is not easy. Yes, older people were right. Life is not easy.

In 40's age: (look at photo when I was young) If I could back to my young age again.

[Muhammad]

:wasalamex

It's interesting to note in the Qur'an, it attaches significance to the age of 40:

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims." [Surah Al-Ahqaf: 15]

[Note in some translations it does not use the word maturity but rather 'full strength']

Tafsir Ibn Kathir: (and reaches forty years,) meaning, his complete intellect, understanding, and patience reach the level of maturity. It has also been said that usually one will not change his ways once he reaches the age of forty.

We also know that our beloved Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam) became a Prophet at the age of 40.


I wonder if this has any relevance to this discussion...

[Endymion]

I was thinking in the same line what Muhammad said.Its really surprising how Quran mention this specific age and the connection to this that Muhammad SAW got the first message in the age of 40.When i was just a Quran recitor,i was a different person and now when i recite Quran with translation and try to understand it through Tafthir,i have an entirely different perspective about life.I always think my previous life in which i thought Quran is a book with some interesting stories of Prophets was just a crap,just worthless.How i waste my time ignoring this precious message and i always feel pity on those who don't try to understand the message.
I personally think you become mature when you know the real aim of your existance.You know the reality of this dunyah and your final destination and the real success.And this understanding develop with age.Specially to understand the Quran you need age and may be thats why Dr Iqbal once said,"Its the nature of this Deeyn that we start understanding it after 40".

[Scimitar]

Remember, experience is the teacher, not the lesson.

I always thought "experience is what you get, when you don't get what you wanted" :D

Scimi

[Signor]

Mental Matureness what is that???

After climbing a great hill, I only finds that there are many more hills to climb.

[cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn]

Mental Matureness what is that???

After climbing a great hill, I only finds that there are many more hills to climb.

Exactly. One thinks they have matured and learned something, only to find that there's much more to learn and one has just scratched the surface.

- cOsMiC

[Beardo]

Well, I'm still maturing. Although, I think the inner child in me is permanent now. The ship to maturity has sailed a long time ago. Or maybe I never had a ship to begin with. I still laugh about poo and pee with my students.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I thought by mental maturity the OP simply meant at what age did we feel like adults mentally. IE we could hold a conversation with other adults etc.


i think theres too much philosphy here lol, it was a simple question right? or is it just me being over simplistic :hiding:

[KnockKnock]

I'm working on it

[Snowflake]

I'm still waiting for this miracle to happen...

[Imaan]

How must I check ;D?

[Ali_008]

Still haven't! imsad

[Sumaiya54]

11-15
I have always been mature lol as an only child its kind of a given (sometimes) but I converted to Islam at 13 and this is when I really started to think in different terms...I can't really explain it though:hmm:

[Asiyah3]

I thought by mental maturity the OP simply meant at what age did we feel like adults mentally. IE we could hold a conversation with other adults etc.


i think theres too much philosphy here lol, it was a simple question right? or is it just me being over simplistic :hiding:

Agreed. Many members think that I mean "what age did you become perfect?". That isn't what I meant. We are and will always remain babies in that sense, learning and experiencing, growing in faith, knowledge and understanding -- improving ourselves.

You can see many differences between adults and children, in their mentality, their way of thinking, and understanding. This is seen in their manners, speech and behavior. Like you said if we could hold a conversation with adults and old people. If you see how a 13 year-old youth, for example, expresses their opinion about some news or other serious topic (work-life, babies, heath, etc.) and the reasons for their views, and and how a 21 year-old views the world/life, you can see a clear difference.

This doesn't mean it's bad to be "mentally immature", or we're in any sense better.

[Asiyah3]

I don't know about men, but I've noticed women change a lot after marriage, when they become a wife.

[ardianto]

I don't know about men, but I've noticed women change a lot after marriage, when they become a wife.

Usually men too.

But actually the bigger factor that build man's maturity is not having a wife, but having kid(s).

[Beardo]

I think older siblings, especially the eldest, mature super fast.

[Periwinkle18]

^^ true

[truthseeker63]

Salam can anyone answer my questions ?

[White Rose]

Well, I'm still maturing. Although, I think the inner child in me is permanent now. The ship to maturity has sailed a long time ago. Or maybe I never had a ship to begin with. I still laugh about poo and pee with my students.

Tell me about it. I tend to laugh at the immaturist things ;D

[GuestFellow]

I don't know. I love ornaments. I guess that makes me mature.

[ardianto]

Salam can anyone answer my questions ?

Which question? definition of mentally mature?

- If you think and consider the consequences of your actions before you do it.
- If you dare to be responsible for the actions you have done.
- If you could be fair to people around you.
- If you can decide what is best for you and those around you.

Beside the four above, there are other signs of mentally maturity. Maybe other members can add the other.

[sofiap]

"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, 'O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam.' (The Noble Quran, 46:15)"

[sofiap]

by about forty,we ourselves become parents,that in itself brings much lessons and understandings from both angles,from the time we were once children,teenagers,the struggles of that time,and now understanding the struggles and worries,joys of parenthood..both stages are in a balance...

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I think older siblings, especially the eldest, mature super fast.

well as the youngest I can tell you that I have matured rather fast myself. But there have been certain factors for that I suppose...

[ardianto]

I think older siblings, especially the eldest, mature super fast.

Don't tell it to my siblings. They will laugh.

I am the eldest in the family. I have a brother and two sister. When I was young many people asked me "are you the younger brother of ....." I always replied "no, I'm his older brother". But people always asked the same question. So I asked my close friends "why people always assume my younger brother is older than me?", and they answer "because he is more mature than you".

[MysticSoumeya]

Whenever I go shopping or play video games, I feel like my maturity level drops a couple of decades backwards ;D

[aadil77]

I'm quite mature for my age, but I'm still immature at times : D

[Ali137]

I used to think in my teens i was very mature and knew everything about the world but this was untrue.

[Woodrow]

At the end of each decade I thought I had matured, only to discover different each time I entered a new decade. I reached independence and was self supporting by the age of 14. But now that I am in my 70s I realize I still have not reached full maturity, but getting closer.

I was probably 23 when I reached full responsibility and the ability to provide for others, but I now know each decade brings a new awareness of maturity and new goals.

[Kei]

I feel like I matured properly at about 15, that was when I stopped complaining about having to go to Islamic school, stopped throwing daily tantrums, and just grew up.
Maybe it was more resignation than maturity though :hmm:
Every year I look back and I realise I was nowhere near as mature as I thought I was, and I have a feeling this well never stop, :statisfie

[Riana17]

Salam all,

Its kind of difficult question, I dont know if I was mature already though I started taking responsibility at earlier age (suppose to be playing time).

Although since working I take big responsibilities, I dont know if thats mature enough

I am only certain that I become stable since becoming Muslim, and being stable in mind means being mature to me.
And it was just a year ago... indeed too late huh?
I was 25years old


Alhamdollellah

[Sothis Girl]

I think very recently.....and now I'm 24. ;D Except I still love Teddy Bears and talking to dolls.

Before this age all I thought were freedom freedom freedom, playing, scared of marriage when someone proposed me because I thought it's a shackle.

With age comes a wisdom :statisfie


[quotes]She compared me with my siblings and always says You are eldest and most immature,dumb. [/quotes]

Oh that's so unfair. Your mum is human too, and she can do mistake.
Don't let anyone define who you are. You are what you believe about yourself.

[~Zaria~]

Assalamu-alaikum,

Everyone matures at a different stage in life.....some earlier, some later - depending on ones lifes experiences, gender (women mature earlier than men.....and i think, some men dont ever fully mature :/ ).

There are orphaned teenagers who need to assume the head of their households, and are wiser beyond their years.
While there are those in their mid-20s who have led such a comforted and sheltered life, that they havent been given the 'opportunity' to mature.

I dont think there is a 'defined period' where one suddenly realises that he/she has 'mentally matured'.

Its an on-going process.

Looking back on our lives, we tend to feel a certain degree maturer and more knowledgable than before.
If we dont - then this would truly be a sad state to find oneself in.


:wa:

[Aza]

When I first fell ill at 17 it was a big break from my old life andstarted my adult life.

[Santoku]

Tell me what mental maturity is and maybe I can answer.

Personally I intend to try to have some of the attributes of a child - curiosity, willingness to learn, unwilling to hurt others etc. - until I am dead and gone (and maybe thereafter, who knows?)

[Scimitar]

ask an old person if they feel old, and they all tell you their brains feel young :) mental maturity... is that what common sense is being called nowadays? :D

[Darth Ultor]

I don't think I can answer that. What do you mean by 'mentally mature'?
Maturity is a gradual process, which happens as we grow older and learn and have new life experiences.
Arguably we never finish maturing.

This, pretty much.

[PurpleCup]

That is harsh, but My 80 year old grandmother once said she feels like she never aged past age 20 and really that's how I now feel. :nervous:
When in Hollywood with my teen daughter I paused with excitement to see a cartoon character that my daughter would recognize and my daughter instead of getting excited, "Said yeah okay Mom." I then realizes my daughter grew up but her momma stayed very young.

[Scimitar]

Maturing year on year... I do feel my age :) and I do love it.

Who wants to be a teen again :D not me. nor do I wanna be a twenty something - those years are better forgotten. Dark histories and all that :D

my thirties is where I started to really apply knowledge and find some - just a little - wisdom. Alhamdulillah.

I find that the older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin.

Scimi

[Bint-e-Adam]

Result shows that most of us get matured in 16-20...
I too get matured in this age. about 18 years old.

[Serendipity]

still haven't

[Cabdullahi]

60



...

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you all,

Well I am only 63, and I feel about half matured, that means I should feel fully matured at the tender age of 126 ish.

I am looking forwards to growing up.;D

Eric

[Futuwwa]

My mother seems to think I matured at about 26, at the time I got betrothed.

[sister herb]

I never be mentally matured.


:statisfie

I am child as long I am alive.

:p

[Bint-e-Adam]

I never be mentally matured.


:statisfie

I am child as long I am alive.

:p

it is the ever best answer of this thread. mashAllah :) :D

[Nawal89]

I'm mature when the situation calls for it. If not i'm childish. Aren't most people like this^o). thats why those who don't act accordingly are called brats and misfits.

[nairu]

:sl:

I'm mature when the situation calls for it.

Very good point sister.

I'm still young at age, but to me being mentally mature does not mean that you can't be childish, playful, funny, spontaneous, adventurous or even a bit crazy sometimes. Unfortunately I do live in a society where these attributes are considered as immature and the mode of seriousness, responsibility or better said the mode of the civilized "Mr. Bourgeous" is switched on all the time... but honestly I don't care. ;D

Being mentally mature has to mean that you can decide whether it is needed to be childish or serious, otherwise you are going to collapse mentally.

But these are just my two cents...

[PurpleCup]

It's not that I want to be a "kid" or "younger" than I am but I guess I come across that way to others because of who I am. I am stuck in an era and I can't get out! It's not a choice. It's just maybe genetics. :heated:

[Scimitar]

[HIDE-REPLY][/HIDE-REPLY]

It's not that I want to be a "kid" or "younger" than I am

Heck, I'd love to be 6yrs old again... I could still wee myself and get sympathy for it, followed by ice cream :D :p

[specs]

I think when I was 17-18 maybe not too sure though. I'm still learning and at times I still feel like a baby! lol

[Veritas]

***Hidden content cannot be quoted.***

Heck, I'd love to be 6yrs old again... I could still wee myself and get sympathy for it, followed by ice cream :D :p

You still do this brother ... but just don't get the sympathy!! ;D

(you know this is all in jest brother ...)

From my own experience, I don't think a person mentally matures, really mentally matures, until they have had children. I'm saying this because of the natural bond that exists and the instinct of a parent to protect their child at all costs ... and would put their life before their child's.

It is the responsibility plus unconditional love ... I think ... that brings full mental maturity.

I don't want to come across as arrogant of dismissive ... just talking from my own experience and how I've changed as I've got older and then had children.

[abcdcool2012]

well im still on this process ;D

[Veritas]

well im still on this process ;D

I think we all are. As you grow up, you look back and think "I'm so much more mature than I was 5 years ago". As you profess through more 5 year age bands ... you will do the same. I don't think a person fully finds themselves, knows who they are, is firm in their views and beliefs ... until they're about 35.

Having children also fundamentally changes most people . People with faith would change all for the positive. They come into parenthood for all the right reasons and will approach parenthood with the right state of mind.

[abcdcool2012]

I think we all are. As you grow up, you look back and think "I'm so much more mature than I was 5 years ago". As you profess through more 5 year age bands ... you will do the same. I don't think a person fully finds themselves, knows who they are, is firm in their views and beliefs ... until they're about 35.

Having children also fundamentally changes most people . People with faith would change all for the positive. They come into parenthood for all the right reasons and will approach parenthood with the right state of mind.

i think it is good to be little bit immature for sometime

[YusufNoor]

:sl:

soon, in shaa Allah

Allahu Alam

[Veritas]

i think it is good to be little bit immature for sometime

I agree. Brother Scimitar is the wrong side of 25 (I'm being generous here bro) as am I (I'm being even more generous here about myself - I'm older than him) - and being immature, juvenile and having the ability to laugh at oneself is very very important ... all through life.

Children also really can bring out the inner child in a parent too. Children love rude noises and toilet humour ... that all comes back ... and getting down to their level to relish ice cream eating, cartoons, ghost stories etc., is incredibly enjoyable ... being so enthusiastic about life and simple things that can be readily enjoyed.

[Muhaba]

i think between fourteen and fifteen if not earlier.

[tigerkhan]

:sl:
spiritually its 40 bcz none of Prophet PBUT was given prophet-ship before 40 except Jesus AS. i have read it in akseer hidayat by imam al ghazali.

[Abz2000]

I believe I was more mature 7 years ago when I came back to Islam and was nearer to the Quran, more serious about things too. Now that im reading less I'm getting less and less accustomed to reflect.

To me mature means ready/ripe/complete,
And only Islam can make one ready/ripe/complete.
When disbelievers talk of maturity, it's just an illusion.

[Scimitar]

I think we all are. As you grow up, you look back and think "I'm so much more mature than I was 5 years ago". As you profess through more 5 year age bands ... you will do the same. I don't think a person fully finds themselves, knows who they are, is firm in their views and beliefs ... until they're about 35.

Having children also fundamentally changes most people . People with faith would change all for the positive. They come into parenthood for all the right reasons and will approach parenthood with the right state of mind.

I'd have to agree with the above.

I personally wasn't able to reflect honestly enough, until I started to do so introspectively and retrospectively. And in order to do these, I had to give it a gap of around 5 years between the last measurement of my maturity.

I guess, being honest, brutally honest about oneself is a sign of maturity in itself... but only a sign. You have to work hard in order to prove it :D

Children also really can bring out the inner child in a parent too. Children love rude noises and toilet humour ... that all comes back ... and getting down to their level to relish ice cream eating, cartoons, ghost stories etc., is incredibly enjoyable ... being so enthusiastic about life and simple things that can be readily enjoyed.

Interesting. I don't have kids of my own but am a total clown around children. And I find it easier to be so now that I'm older than compared to when I was younger.

I believe I was more mature 7 years ago when I came back to Islam and was nearer to the Quran, more serious about things too. Now that im reading less I'm getting less and less accustomed to reflect.

That is because you in Bangladesh soaking up all that sun (ok I envy, that nevermind) :D

Brother Scimitar is the wrong side of 25 (I'm being generous here bro)

Oh I wish I was only on the wrong side of 25, and not a decade over that *enter facepalm here* :D

as am I (I'm being even more generous here about myself - I'm older than him) - and being immature, juvenile and having the ability to laugh at oneself is very very important ... all through life.

You old sod :D kidding. Yeah you're right, it's all about perspective right? I mean, when I was a teen, I couldn't stand someone who I didn't know, smiling at me... now? I'm giving smiles to total strangers... we really do change as we grow older. But the changes manifest in each of us, differently.

Scimi

[Veritas]

My comments to you about the terrific father you will be have been confirmed above bro. :D

[Scimitar]

*makes me blush... again* :embarrass

[Veritas]

The old man blush hey. :embarrass

As we get older we look back and think how views changed, attitudes towards various events change and many more subtle things change. Like wrinkles!!!

I agree bro ... it's the ability to critically look at oneself and continue to challenge and self-assess, and change, that leads to maturity.

But too ... it's very important to be able to laugh and have fun. Like playing rude word Scrabble with kids.

Did that yesterday ... they (and me) had a ball! :D

[sohail1234]

assalam o alikum
it depends on us that how is or nature, but the age at which we get mentally mature is 25, because you have experienced many things in your life at that age. You get the idea that how you can live your life in an appropriate way ....

[ardianto]

assalam o alikum
it depends on us that how is or nature, but the age at which we get mentally mature is 25, because you have experienced many things in your life at that age. You get the idea that how you can live your life in an appropriate way ....

Wa'alaikum salam

You are a young man, aren't you?

One day after you reach 40's age you will realize that are many things that you didn't know yet in age 25.

:)

[Amat Allah]

I didn't yet.

[Muhaba]

I am a few years behind! I still look like in my early 20s. Ma-sha-Allah

[sister herb]

I need to wait the day when I will be 100 years old. Then I write to this thread (if this forum is still here): Not yet. Give me more time to become mature. :D

[GodIsAll]

At 18, I had it all figured out. My parents were old fashioned and didn't understand our current world.
Several years later, I turned 22 and laughed at my reasoning at the age of 18! How naive I was! How ridiculous! 22 was, obviously, the age of enlightenment.

Then I turned 30. Reflecting, I realized I was unaware of my own arrogance and ignorance at 22. 30 was the age of reason and reflection.

I am now 45. I chuckle at my silly views and positions at the age of 30. Of course, 45 is the age of maturity.

The point I am making is that I am a better, selfless human being than I used to be. This is a daily goal. I have so far to go. God willing, the trend will stay on course. I try.

[ardianto]

I am a few years behind! I still look like in my early 20s. Ma-sha-Allah

My wife : Ooh! you're like a little kid!

Me ... : Alhamdulillah. I'm look younger.

[GodIsAll]

My wife : Ooh! you're like a little kid!

Me ... : Alhamdulillah. I'm look younger.

It's not the years on me. It's the mileage.

[Muhaba]

Recently I heard of a man (in Pakistan) who died at the age of around 105. (he was the great grandfather of an acquaintance). Sometimes I wish I could've gotten to knw him, to have asked what it was like to have seen all the changes in the world - social changes, technological changes, etc. How does it feel when you live so long and witness all the changes?

[GodIsAll]

Knowing those people are a treasure.

My great grandfather lived until I was 20. He passed on at the age of 97. He was born in 1892, I believe. His favorite quote was: "I've witnessed traveling for weeks in a covered wagon to watching man step on to the moon."

[Muhaba]

^Amazing! it would be great to know what they witnessed and their feelings. to know how the world changed right before their eyes and how it affected them. What they liked and what they felt were changes in the wrong direction. there have been a lot of good progress but in other ways the world has gotten worse.

[GodIsAll]

^Amazing! it would be great to know what they witnessed and their feelings. to know how the world changed right before their eyes and how it affected them. What they liked and what they felt were changes in the wrong direction. there have been a lot of good progress but in other ways the world has gotten worse.

I wholly agree.

[ardianto]

My wife : Ooh! you're like a little kid!

Me ... : Alhamdulillah. I'm look younger.

I know that many people consider me as amazing husband, but actually my wife considered me as a childish man, and she often complained about it.

"Talks" I've written above was really happened. Of course, originally in Indonesian language.

[ardianto]

It's not the years on me. It's the mileage.

When my wife had reached her 40 age she asked me "Do I look younger than my age". I said "Yes! you look younger than your age". She's satisfied. But then I smile at her and continued with "You look like 7 years old girl". And she's angry.

A beautiful memory with my wife. imsad

[Signor]

I know that many people consider me as amazing husband, but actually my wife considered me as a childish man, and she often complained about it.

It depends on your face cut,you may have a boyish one...

[Karl]

If someone defines everyone by their age for example "you act like a 10 year old" they themselves are mentally immature because this is a totally subjective and illogical statement. As 10 year olds or any other ages have a wide range of intelligence levels. Bigotry against people of different ages dose not seem to be protected by "human rights" but enforced.

[ardianto]

It depends on your face cut,you may have a boyish one...

In last few months I meet few old friends who never meet me for more than 20 years. They said although I'm look older, my face is not changed. But it doesn't mean I'm look younger. People still can guess that I'm in the mid of 40's.

Few years ago when I prior to 40 I often phone a guy in head office. He was in mid of 20's. We were getting close and often joking in phone. He called me "mas" (brother). One day I came to the head office to meet him. He was surprised when he saw me, and he said "Oh, I'm sorry sir, I thought you are in my age". I told him it's okay and then I asked him how old my age, he could answer correctly, prior to 40. After that we were still communicate by phone, still joking and he still called me "mas".

So, it's not about face, but about behavior. I still like kid cartoon, still like kid magazine and comic, still like to play with kids toy, etc. And what made my wife angry was ..... I played with toy in front of her family and friends.

[sister herb]

I think it depends... I know here woman who is now 80. She loves to go to swinging to childrens parks.

:D Am me with her.

[GodIsAll]

I think being light hearted enough to enjoy "play" at any age is an awesome quality.

I spoke of my great grandfather and great grandmother. They were both late nineties when they passed on and had over 80 years of marriage together.

When my family was younger, we went to a park. There was a big spiral slide there. We were sliding down it, especially my younger brother.

Great GrandDad, who is about 90 at the time, walks over to the ladder and announces announcements his wife: "Bert! Hold my cane!" And he proceeds to climb this ladder. It takes an eon and Great Grammy is snapping the whole time:" Frank! Frank!"

He finally situated himself and goes down, hands in the air yelling "Weeeeeeee!"

The stories about him are endless.

One other: When he was 84, he gets someone to drive him 90 miles to a town and he buys the biggest, most powerful 3 wheeled Honda available at the time. Now his daughter, my grandmother, gets word of this and has a fit and makes him take it back.

He promised to...and did...only he traded it in for the SECOND biggest, most powerful three Honda available, this fulfilling his promise to his daughter.

He bought it so he could ride it with the teenagers he was allowing to rife on his farm.

I remember him being so proud when he learned to execute a "donut" move with the best of the kids.

[sister herb]

Being yourself happy is simple: be brave, be curious, be as child all your life.

And don´t mind what others think is it ok in your age to behave like this.

:D

[ardianto]

It's okay if a grandpa play like a kid, as long as not act like a young man and chase the girls.

[GodIsAll]

Oh no, not him!

When my great grandparents were in their late 80's and grammy would nag him about something, he'd say: "Bert! If you bring that up one more time, I am going to mow the lawn in my underwear!"

Sure enough, she'd forget and he'd go outside and mow the grass in his boxer shorts, which would, of course, embarrass her to no end.

Meanwhile, she'd stand on the porch and spray him with the hose, yelling: "Frank! Frank!" while he'd be laughing and cutting grass.

Probably haram to most readers here, but indescribably funny...and never a dull moment.

I love telling great-grand dad stories. I miss him.

[Karl]

It's okay if a grandpa play like a kid, as long as not act like a young man and chase the girls.

Why not? The wood is harder in an old tree than a young one LOL.

[ardianto]

Oh no, not him!

I know your great granddad was a good man.

But unfortunately there are few other grandpas who don't remember their age and still try to get the girls. Many songs have been written in my place to satirize their behavior.

[ardianto]

But unfortunately there are few other grandpas who don't remember their age and still try to get the girls.

I knew one grandpa like this.

In 90's when I ran a travel bureau, there was a parking man there. He came from village area in south of my city. People called him "kolot" (the old). He was about 60 in that time. Sometime he worked to clean up my office too.

One day he came to my office with a young woman. My assumption she was about 17-18 and came from village area. And I was so surprised when Mr.Kolot introduced her as his new wife!

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you ardianto;

How are you and your children? I have missed reading your posts.

May Allah bless you and those you love and care for.

Eric

[Eric H]

I am only 71, and my grandchildren call me silly granddad, so I don't think I have reached maturity yet.

[chitralekha]

I started considering myself as an adult since 15.

[anatolian]

I am 41 and I consider myself half mature.

[Scimitar]

I’m still trying to figure out what that means.

[SoldierAmatUllah]

What is maturity?