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View Full Version : Islamic Advice Needed. What is the proper way to deal with this?



Jibna
07-22-2012, 03:11 PM
As Salamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

I pray this question reaches you all in the best of heath and Iman,

My sister is finishing her college education in a few months and already has a work offer Masha'Allah. Alhamdulillah she's been patient and smart about keeping away from men and focusing on readying herself for marriage.
As a brief description of my family, we hold tight to Islam as best we can and do our best to follow the correct path and practices. The only issue is that my parents tend to be a little difficult when it comes to marriage. Also, this is their last daughter and her being their princess doesn't help the cause.
There is a certain man that she wants to marry. He is almost finished with his medical degree and from what I know, is a good muslim (hafiz, etc). I have met him on few occations and he has always been calm, collected, and respectful. He is of the same culture as us and their family gets along with our family very very well. I don't want to compliment my sister too much but for description sake I will. She has achieved a good amount in the community and is pretty well known. She's always been the pretty one and unfortunately because of this, many guys tend to be too intimidated to approach her. If you had to make me guess, I'd say that the man she's interested in is probably interested in her too.
However, the issue lies that she doesn't know how to go about this and is far too embarrassed/scared to tell our parents. She has asked that I don't our parents and instead get to know the guy and get close with him and maybe slightly hint to go after her.

What is the proper islamic way to approach this ordeal? She has been very patient and is ready for marriage. As a brother, do I have any authority to talk to him about her or even hint in the direction? We are Palestinian and if anyone has any additional cultural advice, I would very much appreciate it

JazakumAllahu Khairun, wa salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
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Muhammad
07-25-2012, 02:13 PM
:wasalamex

Sorry for the wait akhee, the thread is now approved.
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Alpha Dude
07-25-2012, 03:12 PM
Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I think it might be a good idea to get parents on board before you approach the brother. Imagine if you end up getting the brother interested but then when it comes to telling your parents they are against it?

Also, this is just my opinion and attitude - maybe just ask him directly whether he would be interested rather than hint. Pray istikharah also.
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Jibna
07-25-2012, 10:48 PM
JazakAllahu Khairun Akhi. The praying istikharra is very very welcomed advice :). My parents aren't against her getting married, she is just too awkward to talk to them about marriage. I advized her to speak to my parents about it, but my parents don't tend to comfortably talk about relationships. So bringing up the guy she has interest in puts her in an uncomfortable situation.

I agree with you though, things can get messy if parents are not involved.

Thank you for the advice :). is there any limitations with me confronting the brother? not that I intend to, but for knowlege sake.
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SBK786
07-25-2012, 10:55 PM
Brother I agree with Alpha, you should notify the parents before taking anything onto board.

Also, make Dua for her, and pray for her that she should have the ''heart'' to be married. Marriage is not a easy thing brother.

May the advice help you. If Allah wills.
Allah knows best.
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